I need to see how or if anyone has this problem before. We had a little girl start dance last year, her mother is about 26-29, I am 23.

The mother started taking aerobics last year, then her and her daughter did a mommy and me dance, it progressed to her taking a tap class and a hip hop class over the summer. She then offered to teach a tap class in the Fall. (thank god my SO declined) And yes this woman has never danced before, and isn't a small woman. It isn't like she started dancing last year and was a natural, things don't come easy to her. Though she tries very hard.

Well this fall started and my SO let her join in on my jr.high/high school level hip hop class. This wouldn't bother me, but she keeps asking what our recital costume will be, and she signed her name on the competition list last night. I don't approve of this, my SO hasn't told me if she is allowing her do recital. But I just keep thinking, let these girls have their moment to shine! The only reason she is in my class is there weren't any other adults for adult hip hop.

Any advice?

As far as competition, I would just explain to her that you can't let her do it, because of the age gap and that in competition if there is anyone over the age of 21 it automatically bumps the group into the pro/adult division. This would be unfair to the students. They should be competing in their age division.

For Recital - stick her in the back somewhere...I've had adults dance in recital before. I don't think people mind, some people find it inspiring...if she's not featured smack dab center, I doubt it will be a big deal.

I have an adult similar to this. It's like she doesn't understand that she should be dancing with adults. She wants to take class with the teens. In the situation where there wasn't an adult class for her, maybe your SO should have suggested she take a different type of dance that other adults were taking. We often have a hard time filling adult hip hop, so we push the few who want hip hop towards jazz so that there's actually a full class and the teacher's not stuck teaching 2 or 3 people who want hip hop. Do you have an adult jazz she could take instead? Or tap? Or ballet?

And as for the recital issue, all of our adults dance in recital. This year, there'll be 2 adult ballet classes, 2 adult jazz, 2 or 3 adult taps, and 2 or 3 adult Irish step classes. Our adults love to perform!

snot85 wrote:

And as for the recital issue, all of our adults dance in recital. This year, there'll be 2 adult ballet classes, 2 adult jazz, 2 or 3 adult taps, and 2 or 3 adult Irish step classes. Our adults love to perform!

OMG, how do y'all build up your adult classes so much? We have tried so many times and failed. We've tried adult tap, ballet, and hip-hop. The parents say they want it and a big group says they'll join if we open one up, but when we do, they don't sign up! They've either decided they don't have time, or their children get to them and beg them not to do it because "it's embarrassing". I'd love to hear how y'all can build up so much adult classes!

Wow. I have the same problem. Before I read the post-just from the title-I was going to write, "don't worry, she'll quit soon. adults don't stick with anything like this" but I am apparantly very wrong.

My SO has owned her studio for 40 years. Many of the adults have taken with her since they were kids/teens, and the older adults (who are her age or older) started taking classes when their KIDS started taking classes from her. We've just always had a large adult following, I guess. The only class that doesn't always make is adult hip hop. But tap, jazz, and ballet are always full. I'll try to get some pics of our adults on here later.

We have an awesome adult program offering Jazz, Tap, Ballet, Pointe, Hip Hop, and Modern. We have a solid group that come back every year, along with others who come and go (that will always occur). We have found that it is a great way to boost your overall $$$ because no other studio in the area is as friendly to adults dancing.

I teach adult classes, and I never dumb them down. I treat them as any other class, complexity wise. They appreciate being treated that way - if they wanted another aerobics class, they would be at the gym. We don't do crazy jumps or crazy turning combos, but everything else is complex. And I always offer a low impact option to the step, in case someone has bad knees or ankles.

The key to making it successful is to find the right kind of teacher with the right kind of personality to teach adults. We've found that an older teacher, that can relate to the ups and downs of daily life, works the best when teaching them. The younger (17 - 22 yr old) teachers usually aren't successful with them or HATE doing it - because they are still in the mode where they want to see perfection. And let's face it, adult students learn a little bit slower. They need added attention.

I think all studios should consider offering a full adult program. We have way more than just Studio Mom's in ours...and like I said, its great extra $$ for the studio.

Since our adult classes, where I work now, do not build up, we have adults in our classes with teens. So far, no issues, but if they are not at the level to keep up, they are not offered a level that is above them. If it is a beginner adult, they are put in beginner, if it is available.

Sine only competition company competes, it is not an issue but I agree that putting her in would raise the age and that might not be fair.

I would not discourage her as she sounds excited to be dancing. Find ways to encourage her without putting her down. Just because she is an adult, and struggles, should be more of a reason to do what you can. I feel like she is being discriminated against just because she is an adult who is just loving doing this.

Don't get me wrong gang, I support anyone wanting to dance, and I don't mind if she doesn't do it perfect in class, I just feel like those younger girls deserve to have the best routine for recital they can and have their moment to shine. This mom does join in on other teen tap classes, and we do have one adult ballet class. We would offer more adult classes but there isn't a demand for it.


I like the mom just fine, but I think she may be slightly nutty thinking she can teach a dance class after taking a few classes. That may have offened me slightly.

The teaching part, I agree, but she is still a student and deserves to shine as much as the others. It can be a challenge to make any weak student look good but I am sure that you have the ability to do so. Life is about moments and memories and she deserves it as much as any teen.

I tend to agree with Janet only because I get a lot of adults that tell me they couldn't take dance as a kid or teen because their parents didn't have the money or wouldn't let them. So, they are trying to make that dream come true for themselves now. So, for recital, I don't think it matters.

For competition though, I wouldn't include her. Put her in a spot in the dance that won't hurt the group when she's not there at competition.

Yes, for recital it does not matter. Parents will look at their child, mostly, so if someone in the corner is not a strong dancer, they do not care, as long as their own kids look good.

Good God, for years I had this lovely woman in classes, who had no coordination and rhythm and no one cared. She loved to dance and I, and the other teachers, always found a way to make it work.

She could do cartwheels, splits and headstands and would do anything, so we would run with that in the dances and she always entertained, LOL

In addition to the other advice, speak with the SO. Ensure that she is aware of this woman's behavior. While I have seen adults take teen classes and there be no issues, someone like the woman you described can drive other students away.

It sounds to me like this Mom has difficulties in accepting the fact that her teen years are over, and so are some of the things that go with teen years.
The fact that she thinks she can start teaching fits that idea. She doesn't realize (she doesn't want to realize) the fact that she's a bit late with starting the training that is required to become a teacher. It's the same kind of arrogance that 16-year olds can have: "I'm old enough to travel the world by myself. I don't need Mom or Dad to hold my hand", while they don't have a penny to spare.

Mom needs a wake up call, but that will be hard. Hard to make it clear to her, hard for her to accept.
I think a subtil, gentle way could work the best. Like saying friendly in a by-the-way tone: "O, I saw your name on the competition list. But there is an age limit for team members and unfortunately you passed that line. I'm so sorry for you, but it's just the policy."

I think she has the right to be in the recital. Just find a way to make it work. There are several good options for this.

So I agree with everyone else that the competition thing is now for her.
Even though I'm 28, look like all the highschoolers, and am able to do all the things they can, I don't do competitions bc i'm too old-they didnt have them when I was their age: (
But, about the recital, even though I'd prob prefer for her to not be in it, ask the SO about whether she approves of this. If yes, put her in it. If not, let the SO tell her- and tell your SO that you dont feel comfortable doing it so you won't be stuck being the meanie.

Thanks everyone. I suppose I agree that recital is fine. But I know this mom really ticked me off by offering to teach, therefor I felt like, "come on lady, enough is enough." And she shoots catty jokes out, makes snide comments to me about things i wear. I think that one of you said she can't let go of her age, and I agree wholeheartedly with that. I think that is what gets to me the most. I don't look very old, and I would love to get out there with my girls, but I don't.

I can accept that recital is fine, I know how whiney my students are about changes in routines, but I think this year they will be getting used to it. This could turn out to be a blessing in disguise for my younger girls.