A little background. My dd has been at her studio for about 5 years. She's done the classes that were suggested for her...never questioned her placements. Always shows up for classes, rehearsals, competitions. Puts forth her best effort in classes and has been recognized for it by other students, parents and judges. She has competed a solo for 2 years and done well, placing first in her category.

I've been a helpful parent. Sewing, crafting, searching for items teachers could not find. Volunteering to watch little ones at rehearsals and recitals. Always had a good repport (sp) with the SO.

This is the first year I have ever had to question a teacher regarding placement. Another mom called me frantically after class ended one night. Her dd got into the car and burst into tears, said she never was quitting dance if she had to dance with the group of girls that had just joined their class. It is an intermediate class and some girls that dd "B" (friend's daughter) knew from school were put in the class; and DD "B" knew positiviely that they were in their 3rd year of dance (transferred the year before from a different school). Our dd's are in their 6th and 7th years. So it came about that I would ask the teacher about it.

I waited patiently to ask the teacher between classes. I asked in advance what time would be good for her, and this is when she asked me to come. It was clear that she was very irritated that I was asking if the level of the class would be affected. She said that no, it would not. The girls in question had previous dancing experience and that the level would not change. Ok..great. I thanked her for her time and left it at that. Since then, the teacher has been cold and avoiding me. and the SO has been acting the same. You know the feeling when you walk into a room and it feels like you were just being talked about?? That is the new vibe in the studio when I walk in.

Fast forward...it is time for solos and duets to sign up. My dd asks her teacher if she may do a solo this year. The answer is "no". No explanation...just "no". Noone else is being denied...why my daughter? My dd is crushed. I don't dare say anything to the teacher. I'm afraid my dd will be banished to never-never land on stage, so I'll need binoculars to find her.

I was seriously considering a new studio before all of this happened...but it feels as though maybe it is time to go.

I don't know how the teacher could get so bent out of shape. I'm paying for a service..I think I have a right to ask and clarify if I have concerns or questions. Right?

Is it possible that maybe this is not the case and your worry is projecting itself onto the situation in the room? Whatever is going on, if you were already dissatisfied with things and/or had decided to switch her studio as it was maybe its for the best that she move on without any confrontation happening to make your daughter dread going to class anymore than she already does.

However, if you really feel the need maybe you should have a serious meeting or something with the two of them and let them know nicely that you feel slighted ever since you spoke to them and that now you're so paranoid to even speak to them about anything that you're sending your daughter elsewhere. You're right, you are paying for a service and you do have a right to ask questions.

You sound like you have objectively analyzed the situation and had a reasonable question for the teacher and asked it in a 'professional' manner.
You may be paranoid (but it doesn't seem so given the facts), there may be something else going on, or, your teacher may be the sort who cannot stand to be questioned-have you seen this side of her before at all?
In any event, IF you have other good options in terms of studios available I would have a follow up conversation with the teacher. I would definitely ask her about your dd not getting a solo and not getting an explanation. I think that is a question that actually NEEDS to be asked. If you don't get a satisfactory answer, or if you are afraid there may be more negative repercussions, I would leave for another studio asap.

The teacher, IMO, does not like to be questioned. There have been other times when I thought that she was abrupt or short with me. Maybe I "rub her the wrong way"? Maybe she thinks that I am a "suckup"? I only know that when help is needed with something, I am usually the first to volunteer. My dd's other teachers have come to me for ideas and assistance with costumes and such. I'm starting to feel as though I'm good enough to do "assignments" for her, but not good enough that my daughter deserves an explanation. I'm hoping that she had a really bad day and was not feeling herself and that my daughter will have some clarity as to what she may have done wrong, because at this point, she is wondering if it is her...

Just be careful of phrasing when you ask about the solo. Rather than saying "Why didn't dd get an explanation as to why she can't do a solo this year?" Say something more along the lines of "Dd was really hoping to get a solo this year, i understand that isn't in the cards right now but are there things she can be working on so that she is at that level for the next recital?" That way you get the explanation without directly questioning the TC and putting her on the defensive. You will instead show that dd is a dedicated student setting goals and looking to improve.

While I agree with seacaptain about being careful phrasing my question, I think you can be a little more direct since she has done one the past two years and is the only one denied. Maybe, "I am trying to answer dd's questions about why she is no longer able to do a solo when everyone else is. Has something happened in class that I am not aware of or is there a technique or other issue that she needs work on?" Keep us posted.

^ That sounds like a good way to approach it. If she hem-haws around and you don't get a direct answer, take the hint. New studio.

Is it possible that somehow the SO got wind of you thinking about taking DD to a new studio? Just in talking among friends, that sort of thing gets around. She may have heard and is trying this passive-agressive way of saying, "if you're not happy, there's the door". Which, IMO is unprofessional. But, sometimes you run into a SO or teacher that thinks this way. Rather than address problems, they will just think they don't have to please everyone, which in truth, they don't. Some SOs are in a position to be selctive about their students. Seems counter productive to me. The idea is to KEEP students, not run them off.

kk~

NotJustAMom, My daughter is 15 yrs old, so my advice may not apply to your daughter. She has danced professionally on occasion. She is doing a professional show this weekend. She will be doing a team performance as the principal, as well as a solo routine with her male partner. (a 29 yr. old).

It sounds like you are at a "jazz comp." studio. We are from Los Angeles and there are 100's of comp. studios, in and around L.A.
Your studio sounds like my least favorite type. The 2 major objectives I have for my daughter is, to get the best training and the best performance opportunities for her. I don't know what your/dd's objectives are, but perhaps you should shop around for a studio that better suits you/dd.

There are some comp. studios that if you wish to do a solo routine, you arrange it with one of the instructors, tell them what type of routine you want, (b-way, lyrical, modern, tap, ballet etc.), have them choreo. a routine and arrange privates for dd. Sometimes, you may be charged a fee for the choreo. along with the privates. In my experience, privates ranged from 50-80 dollars and hour. I have paid $100 dollars for choreo./music which also came with the music. (some of the music was mixed music). In ballet, you could pay up to $500 for a top choreographer. (...or nothing, if it was a studio instructor that choreos it). You will then have a routine that is comp. ready. You could rep. the studio or go independent.

With most comp. studios, placement is first by age, then by skill. Don't get hung up if your dd is much more skilled than the other dancers. If she is very talented, where the teams are too far beneath her level, find a comp. studio that has the dancers/teams that suits her. If you and the studio do not see eye to eye, as far as your dd's skill level/placement/parts, you will have to decide whom is correct and take the appropriate action. Politics do take place in such studios, as well as instructors not having the wherewithall to make proper evaluations. (Probably because a bias/political factor was involved).

Also, for training, if it's ballet that your dd wants to focus on, get her with a good ballet school that has a good placement program, that doesn't play politics. Jazz studios usually aren't the best place for ballet training. For jazz/tap/modern etc., take her to a studio that is best suited to your needs. I would also suggest (depending on her age) walk-in studios where classes are offered in different aspects of dance training. i.e. technique, conditioning, routines. This also gives you a more flexible schedule.

My post probably sounds a bit off the wall, but I assure you, you have many options.

Thank you all for your advice. The teacher is very intimidating and I would not like my DD's year to be any more stressful than it already is. She is, after all, only 12. I'm not sure if any further questioning would make this year unbearable, so I am reluctant. Not happy about it, but in the end I have to consider that this is my daughter's "thing" first.

I considered that the teacher or SO heard about her possible move. It is a small town and the behavior switch would make sense. I did promise my DD that we would not make a move until the end of this year, so in that regard, we are stuck....for now. I've watched and heard SO gossip about other parents. Now that I suspect they are talking about me, we definately will be moving on after this year.

In the end, I think that we will suck it up and my DD will do her best in her groups and dance team and make it a good year with her friends. This way, no bad karma or stories will follow me to the next studio. I'll be taking the high road and acting as though everything is great.
We will NOT be telling a soul about the move, in case they do not already know.

Thanks again!

Why don't you ask a different teacher? My daughter has only done a jazz solo before, but she wanted to add a lyrical solo. Her jazz teacher said no. (I think because they feel she is too young to do 2??) But at least she has a lyrical solo to look forward to. Good luck

Unfortunately the teacher is the director and she has the only say in solos. It is a pretty small school and so our only option is to do none this year and move on next year to another school without (hopefully) so much politics and a whole lot more professionalism. Thanks!

^ this can be a word to the wise for all - if you are moving schools/studios don't say a word till you are out the door and in someplace else. If SO caught wind I can see why she wouldn't see a point investing in your dd this year only to have her move in May.

If dd wants to ask what she needs to improve on, that would be ok too.

So very true, seacaptain.

Because we are studio hoppers, there are a few studios my daughter is not welcomed at. (One, that I really regret). There are advantages and disadvantages to being a "studio hopper", just like there are in training to be a very diverse dancer. There are a lot of options if you are from a big city like ours. NotJustAMom may not have such a luxury.

NotJustAMom, it sounds like you are doing a great job with your dd. Your dd, being the talented dancer I assume she is, the SO will come around and soon enough,your dd will find herself in the drivers seat. Great dancers don't grow on trees.

Added: I just wanted to ramble a bit, about the "One" studio. It is a studio that is known for a specific partnered dance style. They have produced some world class dancers. (One such dancer is currently one of the choreographers/dancers for DWTS). My daughter is welcomed to take classes there, but until she is committed to the studio, she will not be taken into the fold. The SO has so many trade secrets about professional dancing that I would give my left pinky finger for my daughter to learn them. However, commiting to his studio would be a sacrifice to her other, outside dance training, that is also important to my daughter.
Our decision regarding this studio is something I often think about.