i choreographed this myself in one night. Whaddya think?
Please comment on technique, choreography, etc.
es.tinypic.com . . .

I'd say definite beginner's technique. A general lack of pointing, but where there is pointing, there's a ton of sickling going on with your feet. Lack of extensions, and no use of core. I feel that some of the movements done are too advanced based on the technique. All basics need to be worked on thoroughly.

Thank you...I'm working on not sickling. My old dance studio was very bad, but i am now at an excellent studio. Do you have any tips?

Thank you...I'm working on not sickling.

You have good posture. Ballet classes will help you sooooo much. I think you should take as many ballet classes a week as you can. Find a dance studio that has beautiful ballet technique and take the classes that work on technique, not tricks or stunts.
You will get the good core strength and proper turn out, flexibility, etc.

a couple specifics:

Come to a very clean and STRONG first position with your arms in all turns. Turns weren't too bad, but I think arms would make the difference.

Work on strengthening your core.

Don't *crunch* when doing battements or lifting your leg, and by that I mean keep your upper body lifted. Consciously think of lifting up and tightening your tummy muscles as your leg comes up.

Thank you. i currently take 1 ballet class that is 1.5 hours. It is 1 hour barre. .5 hour center. I also take lyrical, jazz, acro, irish, hip hop, modern, pom, and tap.

Thank you. I recognized that aswell. Normally in class my arms are good, i was kind of tense from having people watch me and being videotaped.

Also think of truly letting each movement, moment, and phrase and a complete start and finish...Don't start a step until you have completely finished the one before it. And keep energy reaching out of you a little more even your small steps make you look taller.

My main critique is follow through! I felt like you were always rushing to get into the next step without taking time to fully finish what you were doing. Not sure if the sometimes flexed foot was intentional or if you forgot to point those toes! I also agree with the arms observation-keep strong arms and always lift through the chest.
Your choreo was good-again just follow through before moving on. Your transitions were fairly smooth for beginner choreo but practice practice practice!
And lastly smile! You forgot to remember to have fun! Dancing is supposed to be fun!

I don't know how old you are or how long you have been dancing, but if you were my student I would work on ballet technique with you. I see in a post how many subjects you are taking. All though it is great to be well rounded, you need to have basic, strong ballet technique. You do not have that yet. I see you trying to accomplish difficult moves in your choreography, moves that you do not have the technique or strength for. It's great that you are at a better studio now, but you need to really study ballet more and jazz technique. Keep Dancin'.

Thanks:) As far as smiling, I wasn't really sure if it was a smiley song. Also, with the pointing, i somettimes forget, thank you for reminding me:)

If not smile at least not show so much concentration. Dancing is supposed to be wistful and effortless to an audience but I could see the effort on your face. I also am amazed at the number of classes you take! Sometimes it is better to learn 4 or 5 types very well instead of 10 types of dance halfway...Just an observation. And I truly did think your transitions and choreo was good. You show talent in that area, now work on the technique and you'll be a very promising dancer...

Thank you! My classes are all very strict with technique, and i am improving every day.