Ugh!!! I taught little ones this morning and really I have a beautiful group of dancers. This morning one of them was having trouble getting invovled no matter what I did or said to encourage her. So her mom came in and sat at the back of the room (which was fine). Mom did the trick and she was dancing happily.

Fast forward 10 minutes... another mom pokes her head in the door and gestures to her child. I assume either they have to leave early or something so I didn't say anything...next thing I know I have two moms sitting on the floor talking to eachother in the middle of my class! They weren't that loud or disruptive or anything, but thier kids started to act up since they were in the room. Instead of listening to me they were distracted.My mistake was not asking the first mom to leave once her daughter was fine. Definatly will not make that one again.

I'm all for enjoying watching your kids dance,learn and have fun. But it just annoyed me that the 2nd mom came in and then it turned into a small social hour. Not to mention we have a HUGE viewing window and the studio door is made entirely of glass....sigh. Then after class I felt bad about not saying anything because all of the other moms stayed outside and watched....

I need to work on having boundries, lol!

Any quick one liners that will help parents get the hint to get out (without appearing rude, haha!)

I just say, "Goodbye Moms" with a pleasant smile but I don't take any dancers under age 4 so I don't have a lot of separation anxiety type issues to deal with. If the little ones are not willing to participate without Mom in the room maybe they need to wait awhile before joining a dance class. I have a viewing window too so I feel that is good enough for the parents to watch from.

Oh boundaries...this is a lesson I am constantly learning!

Yes, once one is the exception then they are all the exception. One time I had a mom come in class at the rec center because her child was having difficulties, when we did shoe changes all the moms (14 of them) came in to change shoes and then sat down as if to say, "I am not moving." Needless to say I don't work for that center any longer, the people in that town are a unique breed that I can't deal with!

Next time I would say something like, "I'm sorry moms but the girls are having a very difficult time focusing you will have to step outside again so we can continue with out class."

I teach lots of this age group and like you said, boundaries. That is what you need when dealing with new mothers. They really don't know what is expected of them and need to be told the rules. I find that if their kids love you and your class, the mom's will fall in line too.

With viewing windows, you should not need to have parent inside the room. I would have the child stay outside with mom until they are in the right frame of mind for class. Then instruct the mom to quietly open the door and let child in when she is ready.

What's the policy? No parents in the room? Mom can come in if there is an issue approved by the instructor? The rule needs to be clear and spelled out.

Then it's an easy reply. "I'm sorry, but our policy states that you may only view through the window and door." Any further discussion should be directed towards the SO and if that's you, then it should be discussed during your non-teaching time.

This is a fine example of when you bend for one, suddenly the second thinks that the rules are bent for her. The moms may not have even realized that what they were doing had crossed the line. They looked in the room, saw the first parent in there, and may have thought that it was fine to enter.

In the future, it's typically better for the involvement to occur with your assistance, not mom's. It's a great learning lesson for the child that she can do things without mom. Mom can sit outside where you can reassure her that she's there. Otherwise, you get to be as encouraging and engaging as possible. That child may sit there for several weeks doing nothing. She will either come around or she may not be ready for dance. If this was a one week occurrence, I wouldn't even sweat it... kids are funny like this sometimes.

No parents in the dance room unless I invite all parents in (to show their dance). First when a kid is being a lala I'll say their name and look at them directly, "Susie, you are not dancing with me. You need to dance with me now." "I see Marsha's tendu, I see Jan's tendu, I see Cindy's tendu. Oh no! Susie, where is your tendu!" If the child continues to be obstinate then I take it further. "Susie, I'm very sad that you're not dancing with me. If you do not join me then you will need to go sit in time out. Do you understand me? You will go sit in time out if you do not dance, do you understand? Say yes ma'am." Then if no dancing, they sit in timeout for a turn (i.e. the time it takes one student to go across the floor doing a skill). Then I go over to the child and ask them if they are ready to join us again, that it would make me so happy to see them dance and have their turn. If they refuse then I go on. "Susie, if you continue to sit in time out and will not dance with me, I cannot give you a sticker. I know that would make you sad and it would make your mommy sad if you don't get your sticker. Are you ready to join us?" If they get up then I keep reminding them that they said they'd dance with me and they can only get a sticker if they dance with me. If they still refuse, then no sticker and I tell them that it is time to join us and I will physically pick them up and put them in their spot for a turn. Usually it doesn't go that far.

Regardless I speak to the parent afterwards with an explanation of the events - including that their child made whatever choice they choose. Sometimes it's a simple, "we had some trouble listening today, but we're going to pay attention next time, right Susie?" or "Susie had to spend some time in time out today because she was not listening and following directions and I gave her the choice to dance with me or go sit in time out and since she wouldn't dance with me, she choose to sit in time out. But we're not going to sit in timeout next week, right Susie?" If it went so far as to no sticker, then I also inform the SO so if the parent complains, they already have a heads-up about the problem.

My issue with parents coming in to fix a problem is it usurps your authority. If what I described above is not workable for your studio, I'd walk the child to the door, explain the parent that she is not following directions and it's time to speak with mom. Let mom give the child a talking to outside of class then send her back in when she understands she needs to follow directions. I still retain the authority over the child because I have decided that she needs to speak with her mom, instead of the mom coming in and making my position less important. That's what happened, the other mom came in and instead of you being the teacher and being in charge, oh well mom is here and she in charge of me, I can do what I want now.

I think of it this way, I don't take crap from a 3 year old. I'm bigger, I'm smarter, and I'm determined so I will win this battle of wills. Once they understand that, things are great. But if you let them have even an ounce of control, it's downhill from there. You might next class, explain to the parents that you will handle any situations that arise during class and to please remain in the waiting room. Whatever method you choose of dealing with the problem, keep the authority over the room, don't the mom come in a make it more difficult on you (even if it means locking the door to keep them out).

I made the same mistake a few years ago by letting a parent in when her child was having a hard time. It ended up making the situation worse in that the child would not come into the room without mom. Then other parents wanted to come in and ended up talking the whole time. Now my policy is no parents in the room. If the child really cannot separate from the parents, then the child is not ready for dance class. I'll do what I can, but it can't be at the expense of the other students.

I really like Sumaya's detailed way of handling discipline in class. Good advice. I don't have a time out area, I usually give the child the choice of sitting on their mat or participating in activity. If they continue not to participate, I will take them out to Mom and explain. I never let parents in the room.

Leave a not on the door that parents will wait outside and only come in if invited by the teacher. If they walk in, just stop them and nicely say, "Oh, sorry, I guess you did not see the sign. Please wait outside, thanks," and close the door. I only allowed parents in if I asked them in, maybe at the end of class if I wanted them to see something. If the child was having issues, and I still do this, I will send them to the parent if they are there and are disrupting the class.

Personally, I do not let ANY parents in my room.. i teach 2&3 year olds and 4&5. The second they walk in the room they are mine until there class is over. If they choose to cry and throw a fit for whatever reason they stay in the room until the class is done and they are told that if they choose not to participate they will not get stickers for the day.. ususally they cry for about two minutes and then they are done.. I then let the parents know that even if there child cries they must still come in my class.. theres been times i've litterly had parents throw there kids off of them and hand them to me.. its a good experience for them i personally believe and its good structure. The one classroom actually has a child thing on the door so they can't get out. its worth a try!

I have much more success in dealing with separation anxiety if the parent is not in the room. Out of sight, out of mind. Yes, it's distressing for a few minutes, but it generally doesn't take long for them to settle. I'll take the child in and make a "deal" with her. If she'll agree to stay in for just ten minutes, she can go to her mom after that if she still wants to. They'll usually agree to that (and if not, I'll take it down to five minutes), and then I don't mention it again, and neither do they. Once they get caught up in participating in class, they forget all about it. The only time it hasn't worked has been when the mom insisted on standing in the doorway. I'd just gotten her to agree to my deal when her mom came back and she started up crying again as soon as she saw her. She stayed there the whole class and the child was constantly distracted by her being there (lesson learned!).