I want to start a new website. I want start a fake dance school and make a website for Miss Dolly Dinkle's Tippy Toes School of Dance.

What I need is ideas to make it a really bad school. I want to use my basic idea that I had for my own school but twist it to make it a believable website (it will have a disclaimer). Once done, we can share it to show people what a really bad school is all about.

I will be respectful to all types, that is why I want to work on it with my peers. This way I will make sure I do not insult anyone, either.

So, start thinking!! Hugs!

Oh wow thats an ace idea
How about having things like beginner pointe - age 5-7 and that sort of thing, and reel off the people that have joined professional companies after the schools 30mins a week 'rigourus training'

How about pinching some of this girls 'expert' moves.
www.youtube.com . . .
She has a website too, I'm sure that'll be food for thought

Teachers: either high school kids, or someone with half a year dance experience (one class a week).

"Our students do exercises at the BAR."

Minimum of 25 students per class.

"Enjoy our wonderful concrete dancefloor."

Absolutely no dresscode.
Spikes are welcome.

Open door for mothers to drop in anytime.

Tuition: 50 cent per class.

7 PM: dance for toddlers

^^^ hehehe.

Have the studio offer videos that help students
street-train/self-train for ballet and pointe.

Here are some possible course offerings for Dolly Dinkle...

Ballet Tech for Techie Teens:

Level 1: Dancing with your cell phone. Learn how to dance while talking on the phone.

Level 2: A multi tech teen class. Learn dance technique while texting messages, taking photo's of other classmates or tweeting on twitter. pre-requisite: Dancing with your cell phone

--Your child will not have to take their eyes off themselves at the Dolly Dinkle school. We don't only offer mirrors on the walls, but on the ceilings and floors as well. We offer specialized classes for the narcissistic dancer.

OMG! Too funny!!

That video... Does she look in the mirror? I had better abs than her after I just gave birth and would not wear that! LOL

Costumes $5 and then show a pic of one of those hoochie types on HOF.

WE HAVE NO POLICY!

Special convenience for driving moms:
Ages 2-3-4-5-6-7-8 in one class and 6/16 in one class.

Special offer: placing students by length!

Names of our classes:
2-4 year old: Pussy Dance
4-6 year old: Pole Dancing
6-8 year old: No Boobies Dance
8-11 year old: Pre Sex Dance
12-14 year old: Pro Sex Dance
Workshop for 15+: "Dancing with Condoms".

We allow everybody to watch and film all our classes.

Instruction by videowall. No screaming teachers!

I will credit this idea to some of my students who squat like sumo wrestlers when they do plies in 2nd.

Course: Sumo/Ballet Fusion.

I'm just picturing it now...ha! ha! ha!

Teachers here are your friends. Come to class with your favorite snacks and the juiciest high school gossip. Teachers are guaranteed to be either teenagers or grown-up women who believe that high school is still where its at. To make time for all this fun, dancers will be taught all turns, leaps, and other tricky steps to the right ONLY. We wont worry about the details like technique, showmanship, or pointing the toes. This will all be hidden by your $100 costumes come recital time. Chewing gum and giggling on stage will help distract from what your body is doing as well. Additional practices in the last few weeks prior to recitals are mandatory so we can finish choreography. If by chance all choreography is learned early, we'll spend lesson time in the hot tub as a special reward.

And yes the biggest school in my area does this and has for years. I'm not even shocked anymore!!

Our ballet teacher travelled the world as a famous ballerina: Miss Anorexia Flexibiliova!
She will be assisted by Miss Skinny Sticky.

You must all have heard of our very well-known tap teacher: Mr. Clap Horseshoe!

Hilarious!!!

Ballet Class Description: We don't expose the students to "boring" or repetitive barre exercises. Instead we focus on more interesting movements such as difficult leaps and turns (only the right side) and pointe work. Students are free to wear what ever they are comfortable in- jeans, shorts, flip flops, sneakers...it's up to them.

Hip Hop Class Description: We will focus on all of the latest moves seen in MTV rap videos. Students will learn the solja boy, stank leg, cupid shuffle, and master the booty pop. Please keep clothing to a minimum for this class. We want the students to become comfortable dancing in bikinis, bras, and underwear.

Beginning Jazz Description: This class will learn movements such as switch leaps, axles, multiple pirouettes, tilts, fouettes, and any other skill the students ask to learn.

Advanced level classes are open to any student who has been enrolled in dance for a minimum of 6 weeks.

Class placement will be at the discretion of the student and the student's parent. Choose the class that works best with your schedule, the class your child's friends are in, or level in which you would like your child to be dancing.

And you definitely cannot call it pointe, it has to be toe!

For the busy parent who has on overcrowded schedule and runs nonstop from one activity to the next: Do not WORRY about having your child arrive for class 15 (or more) minutes late on a regular basis. After all, that part of the class is devoted to unnecessary boring warm ups and stretching anyway.

We are always delighted to babysit after class on those frequent occasions when you must be late picking up your child. We certainly understand that your mani/pedi, shopping, coffee meeting (or other necessary activity)
that you have scheduled while your child is dancing can't be rushed.

Our teachers and staff love hanging around the studio after the last class of the day waiting for you to pick up. After all, they don't have homes, family, or any other life outside the studio.

It's OKAY to only attend one class out of three during the year.

This is part of our all out effort to provide a totally laid-back and stress-free environment for you and your little diva.

We welcome younger siblings to use our waiting room as a playground...running wild, climbing on the furniture, flipping light switches on and off, and screaming are strongly encouraged.

Our waiting room is a great place to gripe and complain about us to other parents. Doesn't everyone enjoy a little vicious gossip now and then?

Ok I gotta add in some stuff for Irish!

We offer Riverdancing! We teach "the jig" (when there are actually 4 different jigs in ID).

We prefer you to wear long jeans and hiking boots when you come to class. We also prefer you to NEVER practice at home, ever!

For child care, I'd prefer as an SO to pay the parents to be allowed to babysit their other children while at the same time I teach a class.

Hair should be let down, covering your face and eyes completely. You should also never respond to anything I say as a teacher!

When choosing recital music/ costumes the Mother who throws the biggest tantrums wins their #1 choice! Also Mothers are encouraged to teach as they know better than a trained teacher what is appropriate.

We welcome you to question and challenge every decision made by the directors, choreographers, and teachers. Especially if you danced for 3 years at your small town dance studio growing up. Surely you can offer us great advice!

Also, any child who wishes to may perform a solo in recital. It doesn't matter what they placed at competition, heck, they don't even have to compete! And you also don't have to be a recipient of a studio award from the year before! It's open to all students! Who doesn't love an 8 hour long show?

Oh, and we understand that when you, as the mom, were a kid you might not have had the training, ability, or opportunity as a kid to become a professional dancer. We understand that since you missed out, all you want is for your child to succeed where you couldn't. Therefore, we will push, trick, bribe, and threaten all dancers for years until they decide they want to dance for life. It is not up to the student whether or not they want to or even enjoy dancing, it is up to the parent, and we support that!

^^^^^ Just a side note to avandy's line of thought-don't you love when a mom starts to tell you about how she took dance as a kid and they get that dreamy otherworldly look in their eye like a lost love...

More than that, how about one who danced at a not so good school and then tries to correct her extremely talented and well-trained child before a competition?

J1ll wrote:

^^^^^ Just a side note to avandy's line of thought-don't you love when a mom starts to tell you about how she took dance as a kid and they get that dreamy otherworldly look in their eye like a lost love...

That is EXACTLY the look they get!! HA!

had one last couple of years who would say things like..."I took my old ballet slippers out of my closet today..." and then drift into to "otherworld" of childhood dance bliss. Meanwhile her child hated class.

JLL wrote:

More than that, how about one who danced at a not so good school and then tries to correct her extremely talented and well-trained child before a competition?

Oh yes, and then they tell you "Well, I danced in L.A. one summer!" all proudly and boasting like. Um yeah, they have crappy studios, workshops, and scholarships in L.A. too, just like any other big city with awesome studios and horrible studios.

'Class placement at the sole discretion of the parent.'
'Open door policy - open door all the time.'
'4 year-old combo class: 10 min ballet, 10 min tap, 10 min jazz, 20 min hip hop'

No need to actually attend the classes to be in the recital...in fact the children who miss the most classes will be placed in the best spots front and center.

As all parents want their kids to be in an Advanced level, call all levels Advanced:
Creative Movement Advanced
Pre-Ballet Advanced
Beginner Hiphop Advanced


"We offer the best service ever! WE CALL YOU!
Every week we will call all our students to ask them if they enjoyed last weeks class, if they would like changes or additions, a new teacher, transfering to a different group. You name it!"