I'm going to start assisting one of my old fellow dancers, who is now a teacher of young beginning ballet, this week.

It's a 30 minute class, but the kids are like demons. That's what the teacher says and what her old assistant said.

I'm not very experienced with kids, but I need some advice.

To get them to stop, behave, etc.. do I get on to them in a griping voice or do I try to be friendly and be their friends and when they start acting up, in a friendly way say "Shh! Let's be really quiet for Miss [teacher]."?? What about "the quiet game"?

I know they get a piece of candy and if they be bad, they get the candy taken away. I'm not sure what other tricks she's tried/is doing.
I also suggested that she leave the door open so the parents can watch, figuring that if mom was watching, they'd be good, but she said they act worse.

What's the best way to get them to behave?
How should I talk to them?
I really don't want to disappoint my friend.
Any tips?
Please and THANK YOU!

(P.S. I'm going to post this in another board, probably beginner ballet, as well in hope of getting as many replies as possible.)

I am generally FIRM in a loving way. I don't whisper "Shh" when I want my students to quiet down. They need to know that I mean business. So usually a look and a motionless stance with no music does the trick. LOL.

I would not recommend the door being open. That is an invite for
A.) The child to be more distracted
B.) The Parent coming in and disciplining the child-which undermines the teacher's authority
C.) Could actually start a crying frenzy of "I want my Mommy", "I need to go potty" etc...

I also do not think that candy is the "best" option. I am assuming that the teacher has tried multiple things to reward the good behavior. If not... stickers, rubber stamps, getting to be the line leader, getting to demonstrate a skill, being the teacher's helper if passing out props, etc...They all work wonders in my classes. Sitting out of a favorite song/skill also works when necessary, but I prefer to accentuate the positive. They are probably acting out at home as well if they are "that bad" at class. So, if that is the case, they may thrive on the negative attention. Don't give in...Change your outlooks and be extra sugary and positive and they just may suck it all in and act angelic for you.

Fingers crossed for a better class
Sharon

First of all, bless you. Your presence in the room is going to be a godsend for this poor teacher. I'm going through a similar situation in one of my classes, only my kids are (barely)3-4. And I just got word that I'd have an assistant in there starting this week. It's hard when you only have one set of eyes and can only be in one place at a time.

To keep order in general, I will call the child by name who is speaking out of turn or not paying attention and remind them that it's someone else's turn to speak right now or ask them to show me their butterfly or their pointed toes or whatever it is we're doing at the time, or to come back to the group if they've wandered away. Your friend has been doing all this on her own all this time, so she'll have some sort of system in place. You can follow her lead.

As far as discipline goes, the system we have been using at my studio is basically a three-strikes system. And with the really little ones like that, I only give them a strike if they don't listen to me asking them not to do something. Like if one's hanging on the barre and I ask her not to do it and ten seconds later she's doing it again, she gets a strike. But if she listens the first time and gets back in line like she's supposed to, I won't give it to her. If they get to three strikes, they have to sit down. It hardly ever happens and usually it's near the end of class, so mostly the big deal is not getting to dance with scarves or whatever else fun we might do in the last few minutes. If I get to two with them, I remind them what happens if we make it to three, and that's usually enough to keep them minding themselves. And if not, having to sit out once usually does it.

One of the other teachers uses a system of assigning each child a little foam mat to sit on when it's not their turn and that seems to work pretty well. If you can find some carpet squares or something (all one color is probably safest, if they're already so bad; you'll probably have fights over colors), or draw them on the floor with tape, then when they're doing something one by one everyone else has to stay on their square.

Letting parents in is distracting. They're not old enough for an audience to positively affect the way they behave; they just want to know why this person is in here when they usually aren't and they'll spend all their attention there instead of on the teacher and the class, even when the parent is telling them to pay attention.

Take the time to sit down with the teacher to discuss things. It will be extremely helpful to be on the same page and you can decide on what role you can take that will best assist her.

I have found that positive reinforcement is truly the best way to get the behavior you went. Don't be afraid to praise by name those students who are following directions. Try to find one moment during the class that you can praise each and every student; it will help bring about more appropriate behavior.

During down time in class (ie. when the teacher is starting the music), I have said things like "While Teacher gets the music ready, let's see who's ready. Suzie is in first position; great work!" Rather than letting the students get distracted, keep them on task and use the moment to reward students.

Step forward and care for distracted students. Quietly remind Suzie that she should be on her spot and paying attention. You can do this while the teacher continues class. Be careful to not make this a reward for good behavior, as the student will get your attention.

Good luck; having a second person in the room is extremely helpful!

I forgot to add...I use:

"I really like the way that X is standing/sitting/waiting for their turn" etc...All the kids look at that dancer and try to mimic them.

I know this works great during my tumbling time when the kids are antsy. I also play Disney Princess songs-some are instrumental, and I ask them to try and figure out which Princess the song belongs to. It really keeps them focused on that.

Good Luck-just remember, you are to help and the teacher will find you to be a true asset!! Work together and it will all be okay

I just want to add to the wonderful suggestions you have already received. When I got an assistant the first thing I did was to sit the children down and explain that she was an assistant teacher and that they were to listen and obey her. That put her in an immediate position of authority with them.

As a teacher, I like to go over the rules of the classroom with this age group once in a while as a friendly reminder. I will engage them by asking if anyone can remember what some of the rules are.

As an assistant teacher, it is important to discuss with the teacher, what her expectations are of you. I liked to go over briefly what was going to happen in todays class with my assistants...a brief orientation, so that they were on the same page and we worked together as a team. Good luck.

You definately got great advice already. Here are a few more ideas:

When the teacher is occupied, see if you can encourage the children to "surprise" her. Like "while Ms. Teacher is getting the music, let's see how quite we can be. She won't think we are still in the room!' Kids love to "play tricks" on adults. Give them somthing ACTIVE to do. Instead of don't always DO. Give them a challenge and use your imagination. Pretend to have imaginary crowns, hand each one a pretend crown and ask them the color of the crown. They have ownership in the transitional acitivity.

Transitions are the MOST important part of the class. It is the hardest to keep children's attention. Singing is great too, if you have a good voice or not. (try something like this to Farmer in the Dell, after they have their crowns on "we are waiting in a line, waiting in a line, we have our magic crowns on and are waiting in a line.")

Most importantly, you need to be on the same page as the teacher. Instead of going into the class with a negative image about the children, take it as a challenge to learn new classroom management styles.

Good luck!
Stacey

Thanks for the replies! I'm getting some great replies. I do have a couple of questions, that if no one sees this post, I may start a new thread over it.

-***There's one girl in the class that may have some sort of mental problem and definitely has an attention problem, but she is horrible and doesn't do anything she's supposed to. She lies and the previous helper warned me of her. Any tips for me to deal with her? The other assistant told me I could deal with her because she doesn't want to.

-***There's also one girl who is extremely shy and she has a hard time leaving her mom to get into the class and she just kind of stands there. How can I help her feel more carefree in the class? I mean classes have been going on for 4 or 5 five months. Should I try to be friends with her and so make it so she wants to come to class..? That's the only thing I could think of. Just kind of talk to her and say "Cameron, you're doing really good!" and maybe say something like "I like the color of your dress, what's your favorite color?" "Do you like kitties? Do you have a cat" etc.. Just try to be friends to get her more comfortable?

Second question first, the shy one. Yes try to personalize with her. Find common ground and tell her when she does well. But be careful not to get too chummy because you need to maintain some authority, but talking about kitties or doggies or her favorite color is a good way to get her to warm-up.

Now for the trouble maker. Be firm. Be loving, but firm. Be consistent. If you say "Suzie, keep your hands to yourself." If she does not listen go to her and get down on her level and look her in the eyes, "Suzie, I asked you to keep your hands to yourself but I saw you pulling on Mary's skirt. Were you keeping your hands to yourself?" Usually even unruly kids will own up to it. Then smile and tell her something along the lines of "I know Mary has a very beautiful skirt, it looks so soft, but it is Mary's skirt and Mary may not want anyone touching her skirt. Would like it if someone was touching your beautiful skirt and you didn't want them to?" Typically the child will say no. "Okay, then lets keep our hands to ourself. If I see you touching Mary or anyone else, then we will need to sit in time out and I know you want to be a good girl. So hands to ourself right!?" If she doesn't keep her hands to herself, timeout. And she'll probably scream and cry but be firm. Once she knows you won't back down, either she'll spend a lot of time in timeout or she'll start to behave.

If being gentle and kind doesn't work, then be more firm. But most importantly, you're there to deal with her so the teacher doesn't have to, you're there so the teacher can keep the class moving. Don't be afraid to touch a child - for instance telling her to go sit in time out may not work. You may need to take her (gently but firmly) by the hand and lead her there. If she falls to the floor and starts to throw a temper tantrum, pick her up and if the studio allows it take her to her mother or the office. But my point being, sometimes words won't work with children, sometimes you physically need to direct them. And I know that that is something I've had trouble getting my past assistants to understand. This is not babysitting. You can't coddle them, you need to be stronger willed then they are. Eventually they learn you're not a pushover and they get better. Unfortunately, sometimes it's the next teacher the next year who benefits, but if you're firm and loving, it will make some sort of impression.

^^^I definitely agree-great advice!
With the shy one, kneel down to talk to her, people 3 feet taller than you are intimidating even if they don't mean to be! It's ok for her to be unsure of you at first, you are a stranger but encourage her. Ask her to be line leader, use her as an example and just generally build her confidence. She'll come out of her shell when she's ready.
The troublemaker is probably used to getting away with her behavior at home, and it's hard to break a habit in a 1hr/week class if it's being reinforced as ok at home. I believe in picking your battles so if she's not following along but she's not being disruptive-one little "Suzie can you try this too" is enough. If she tries it praise her "great job!", if she doesn't say "it's too bad Suzie doesn't want to learn today". If she is disrupting the class explain to her that she gets 3 warnings and then she will lose her treat. If she loses her treat and still wont behave I direct them out of class to their parents. Ultimately my focus is the kids that are trying to learn. if I spend all of a class on the behavior issue the other kids wont learn and that's not fair to them.
Lastly-don't raise your voice-be calm and firm and patient.
Good luck!

Shy girl - deff try to get a bit closer to her. Greet her when she comes in, ask her about her week/family/etc. And yes, get down on her level - that's a huge thing. Bend down, crouch down, so you're on her level and are looking in her eyes. One thing you can try is to dance with her/next to her. Some of my girls last year were a little shy and unsure about across-the-floor combinations, and I'd say "Do you want me to do it with you?" and they'd nod, and I'd do the leaps across the floor with them - if that's okay with your teacher, try that. Also, we had one very shy girl who never did free dance alone, so one of us would go up, take her hand, and dance with her. Once she gets to trust you, she'll feel more comfortable dancing if she's right next to you or holding your hand.

For the shy one - she might just be a worrier. James has a little girl in his preschool class that's a worrier, and they were three months in to the year and she was still crying over being seperated from mom. Some kids just worry.

Get down on her level. Talk to her. The trick there is to involve another kid somehow, so it doesn't look like you're playing favorites with this little girl. "Oh look, Suzie, you have the same color skirt on as Mary, isn't that fun? Suzie, what's your favorite color? Mary, what's your favorite color? Oh my gosh, you guys both like pink! And you guys both having on pink dancing shoes! I like your pink dancing shoes! Are you guys ready to go dance with all your friends? Ok, let's go!", and get up and lead them down to the room.

For the unruly - She's got to be quiet, or she starts losing perks. Up to and including that she's got to sit down and watch everybody dance.

One day in my sons class, one of the little girls was tapping her toe during tumbling time - they were already in their tap shoes, so you can imagine the tap, tap, tapping. After about the third time, their instructor calmly looked up and went "Lizzie, why don't we go ahead and take off your tap shoes, because they're really making alot of noise today. Do you need some help taking off your shoes, or can you do it?", and that was it. The little girl removed her shoes, and the noise distraction was gone.

In my sons class in preschool last year, there was a little boy that kind of lost his mind - he sounds sort of like this little girl. Their rule He either had to go along, and do like everybody else, or he couldn't participate - he didn't get to participate on his own terms, he didn't get to push the other kids, or be loud or rude. Do like everybody else, or sit down.