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Lack of motivation
By HelenKA Comments: 163, member since Wed Nov 01, 2006
On Thu Apr 29, 2010 04:17 AM

Our oldest dd is just turned 17. She is in sixth form(year12) and studying for AS exams.These start in a few weeks time.Added to which right bang in the middle weekend, she has her grade 5 highland exam-including theory and national exams.
The problem is that she has low target grades at school(I work at the school) and has always found revising and remembering stuff hard. She has only got highly commended and commended for her last two highland exams-due to her theory.This time round she is also struggling with her dances as she has had D of E commitments(she's doing gold) and injury set backs (a knee problem).
The biggest problem is that she is quite simply not doing enough work-for her exams or her dancing and is spending hours watching tv or on facebook.When we try to tackle this she just gets defensive or storms off. We never had these sort of problems with the elder boy!
Ideas anyone?

6 Replies to Lack of motivation

re: Lack of motivation
By Theresamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 34891, member since Wed May 22, 2002
On Thu Apr 29, 2010 12:08 PM
I like "Lack of interest in activities you previously enjoyed" is a pretty big hallmark of depression.

She could also be going through a rough time with a friend or boyfriend, her teacher could be pressuring her, there could be any other number of things.
re: Lack of motivation
By HelenKA Comments: 163, member since Wed Nov 01, 2006
On Fri Apr 30, 2010 02:46 AM
Thanks for the thoughts Theresa,but at present it seems to be more a case of has anyone out there got ideas to get her motivated enough topass her exams in the next few weeks?

Comment #8997029 deleted
Removed by oz_helen (35388) on 2010-05-01 05:15:49 Double post

re: Lack of motivation
By Theresamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 34891, member since Wed May 22, 2002
On Fri Apr 30, 2010 01:47 PM
But if she's depressed, then it's not a matter of "You've got to pass this test", it's a matter of "We need to go to the doctor." If her brain isn't working right, all the test passing in the world won't help.
re: Lack of motivation
By kandykanePremium member Comments: 16415, member since Mon May 01, 2006
On Fri Apr 30, 2010 01:56 PM
Edited by kandykane (157761) on 2010-04-30 13:58:18 typos
^ Especially if this is new behavior. Or, it could simply be a case of she's burned out and needs a break. Encourage her, rather than pressure her. Tell her as soon as this rough patch is over, she gets a break. (And make sure she gets one!) It sounds like she is feeling enough pressure without more from mom.

I understand you want her to excell, especially as you work in the school system. But don't compare her to other kids. She's herself. Be proud of her no matter how she does.

Maybe start by giving her a weekend break right now. Tell her she gets this weekend to sleep late and do nothing school related. But on Monday, she has to start getting ready for these exams, etc. And when they are completed, she gets a longer break. If she can see the light at the end of the tunnel, it may help.

kk~
re: Lack of motivation
By HelenKA Comments: 163, member since Wed Nov 01, 2006
On Thu May 06, 2010 02:55 AM
Thanks for the thoughts on this -last night we had tears of frustration at dance class-she feels unprepared for all her dance exams and has decided to leave them till (hopefully) later in the year.Now she has made this decision, hopefully some of the extra pressure is off.
She has also finished her course work at school so the course work classes can now (she says) be used to revise in.
In just over a month her exams will be over and she can take a break.

Thank you ddn folks.I knew i'd get sensible advice from people who understand.
Helen.

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