Forum: Advice / Girls Only PG-13

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what makes a girl a slut?
By CaitDestinymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue May 11, 2010 05:26 PM

It seems to be that in high school, a guy can sleep with anyone he wants and just becomes more popular. But when a girl does ANYTHING she is considered a slut.


What do you guys think makes a girl slutty, or a slut?

87 Replies to what makes a girl a slut?

re: what makes a girl a slut?
By Sumayah
On Tue May 11, 2010 05:36 PM
In my opinion, I'd consider a girl a slut who purposely sleeps around to gain a reputation. If someone just has a sexual history, no biggie, it doesn't matter who or how many so long as they had a mind to their safety. However if they are actively seeking the status of someone who is easy (someone who sleeps around for the gossip, or sleeps around with other people's guys, or brags about who they've been with) then I'd happily label her a slut.
re: what makes a girl a slut? (karma: 3)
By girlwithghilliesmember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Tue May 11, 2010 05:49 PM
Nothing makes a girl a slut. There is no such thing as a slut. That is a disgusting, archaic, misogynistic double standard that has no basis in reality. A person with many sexual partners is just that - a person with many sexual partners, regardless of their gender. People's reasons for their sexual practices are personal and are NOT subject to public approval or disapproval.

Everybody complains about how guys call girls sluts. Our usage of the term allows them to continue justifying that behavior. It's not right to objectify somebody based on their (consensual, adult) sexual practices, and continuing to do so only makes it worse for all of us.
re: what makes a girl a slut?
By Brittanymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue May 11, 2010 05:49 PM
Only time I call a girl a slut is to a friend and they know I am kidding. Who am I to judge one's sex life?
re: what makes a girl a slut?
By webstArmember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Tue May 11, 2010 05:52 PM
Edited by webstAr (54294) on 2010-05-11 17:53:02
Edited by webstAr (54294) on 2010-05-11 17:53:41
What makes a slut? Catty girls that have nothing better to do with their time than call other girls horrible names. That's what ends up making girls "sluts."

To be perfectly honest, I've never, EVER heard a guy call a girl a slut. On the flip side, I've lost count how many times I've heard girls call each other that.

Girls can complain about the double standard all they want - but until they realize that they're the ones creating it, nothing's going to change.
re: what makes a girl a slut?
By DeStijlmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue May 11, 2010 06:08 PM
Slut is an awful word, and I don't think I've ever used it in a serious context :?

Someone elses sexual history is none of anyone elses business. Unless another girl is sleeping with YOUR partner, you've got no right to be applying names to her.
re: what makes a girl a slut?
By LizDancermember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Tue May 11, 2010 06:42 PM
In response to webstAr's comment, I've actually guys call girls sluts all the time. More than I've ever heard girls say it. Maybe it's just a regional thing or something, who knows. But I will agree that we girls can do a lot to stop perpetuating double standards like this.
re: what makes a girl a slut?
By iliahmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue May 11, 2010 07:11 PM
If a girl is sleeping with someone else's partner, I'd call both the male and female in question sluts.

I don't limit the term to girls...
re: what makes a girl a slut?
By AlwaysOnStagePremium member
On Tue May 11, 2010 07:32 PM
^ I don't either.

From my vernacular, a slut is someone who pretends to have an emotional connection to more than one purpose for the purpose of getting lots of sex. The key point is the misleading and pretense of emotional relationship. No matter how many partners a person has, as long as they're upfront then they're respected adults.
re: what makes a girl a slut?
By MuffinHeadmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue May 11, 2010 08:31 PM
slut   /slʌt/ [sluht]
┬ľnoun
1.a dirty, slovenly woman.
2.an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute.


Heh... I like the word slovenly. I shall be using that more often.
re: what makes a girl a slut? (karma: 1)
By Heartmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue May 11, 2010 08:43 PM
I would call a guy OR a girl who is irresponsibly promiscuous a slut.

A girl who shows too much in too little clothing is slutty. Very often the clothing does not fit and the goods offered are simply unappealing. This effect is exaggerated in locations where the clothing is not appropriate; though some of those outfits are never appropriate.

Also, a girl who sleeps around - usually while drunk, and often with men who are within the same social group - is slutty.

The comparison to a slutty girl would be a d-bag, guido, or wigger. (Urbandictionary it, I'm tired.)

A guy who two-times women is a man-slut.



I don't think the term is archaic, and honestly have never seen it used where it was unwarranted. I've seriously never seen this "double standard" - usually guys like slutty girls because damn, they can get some. In turn, "slutty" girls do not conduct themselves in a manner that makes them deserving of respect.

A spade is a spade is a spade, bottom line.
re: what makes a girl a slut?
By contemp_is_rad
On Tue May 11, 2010 08:45 PM
Sumayah - that's an interesting way to put it, and I'd have to say I agree, although I haven't thought of it like that before - it's not about who you've slept with, but you you've done it and/or whether you brag about it or be obnoxious about it!
re: what makes a girl a slut?
By Cienmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue May 11, 2010 10:04 PM
Edited by CienPorCientoPAZ (147923) on 2010-05-11 22:04:56
Honestly, sexual history usually has next to nothing to do with why a girl gets called a slut. The girls doing the name-calling will give that as a reason all the time ("She's a slut because she slept with that guy"), but that's not usually it. Girls get called sluts because the name-callers don't like something about them, or are jealous. But people don't just...see that a girl slept with someone and automatically say she's a slut--it's that she slept with someone and they're jealous, or she slept with someone and they don't personally think it's a good decision. It's never JUST the fact that she slept with someone.

It also depends on how the girl being called a slut carries herself. I'm sexually active right now, but I'm not in a relationship--but I know I'm not a slut, because of the way I handle it when I hook up with someone, and the way I act in the rest of my life.
re: what makes a girl a slut? (karma: 1)
By Heartmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue May 11, 2010 10:11 PM
People aren't jealous of folks they call sluts. I freaking HATE when people say that. That's like saying I'm jealous of a Port-a-Potty because I say it's gross. No, not really.
re: what makes a girl a slut?
By Brittanymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue May 11, 2010 10:15 PM
^I've heard plenty of girls call another girl a slut simply for seeing them make out with an ex-boyfriend. Yes, I'd call that jealousy.
re: what makes a girl a slut?
By Cienmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue May 11, 2010 10:15 PM
Edited by CienPorCientoPAZ (147923) on 2010-05-11 22:16:09
^^Okay, Heart, so maybe not you. But a lot of girls have jealousy behind the "slut" label. Not "most," not "all," and not you, sure--but a lot. That's all I'm saying.
re: what makes a girl a slut?
By RawrRose
On Tue May 11, 2010 11:13 PM
I'd say that in general, people who have a lot of sex aren't sluts. But if you're the kind that cheats on someone, you're a slut to me. Also, if you're one of those people who are, for example, pregnant and not sure if the dad is guy A, B, C, D, or E then you're a slut to me. Similar situations also lead to me considering you a slut. Example: Sex with a lot of guys over a medium period of time, not a slut. Having sex with multiple people in one night, a slut. But in general I don't really like the term "slut," even when talking about promiscuous people.
re: what makes a girl a slut?
By Odessamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed May 12, 2010 01:44 AM
I am going to quote directly from the book The Ethical Slut, by Dossie Easton and Janet W Hardy.

In most of the world, the word "slut" is a highly offensive term, used to describe a woman who's sexuality is voracious, indiscriminate, and shameful.
...
So we are proud to reclaim the word "slut" as a term of approval, even endearment. To us, a slut is a person of any gender who celebrates sexuality according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you. Sluts may choose to have solo sex or get cozy with the Fifth Fleet. They may be heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual, radical activists or peaceful suburbanites.
...
Sluts share their sexuality the way philanthropists share their money: because they have a lot of it to share, because it makes them happy to share it, because sharing makes the world a better place. Sluts often find that the more love and sex they give away, the more they have: a loaves and fishes miracle in which greed and generosity go hand in hand to provide more for everybody.


I like this definition of the word a LOT better. The other definition is cruel judgemental. Since when was it OK for us to call our sisters such an unfriendly word?

Erin.
::righteous babe::
re: what makes a girl a slut?
By kandykanePremium member
On Wed May 12, 2010 06:55 AM
^ I like that.

Usually it is the small minds of others who define if someone is a 'slut'.

kk~
re: what makes a girl a slut? (karma: 3)
By Louisemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed May 12, 2010 08:17 AM
To be perfectly honest, I've never, EVER heard a guy call a girl a slut.

Wow. Really? I do. All the time. Not directed at me I hasten to add. Overheard on bus in Birmingham...

Boy A: How did it go with *girl* last night?
Boy B: Aw mate, what a total slut. She wouldn't even sleep with me.

*headdesk*

Shortly afterwards

Boy A (looking out of bus window): Isn't that *girl* and her mates over there?
Boys B: Yeah man...[shouts from window] Oi *girl*, you're a *insert swearword of choice* slut ya know!!

The logic astounds me.

But yes, boys call girls sluts all the time and I genuinely cannot believe that you've never heard them do so.

Personally I tend not to use the word slut, as I prefer whore. It lends itself better to fun variations, such as "manwhore" and "going whoring". Having lots of partners doesn't make you a slut/whore, it's the WAY YOU DO IT. If someone's out shagging for the sake of it and breaking up people's relationships into the bargain then I'm going to call them a whore; I'm not jealous of their selfishness (happily engaged thanks, really not bovved about shagging around); and I don't care what anyone thinks of me for using the word/s. *shrug* I'm not bringing down the cause of feminism (vomit) and refusing to use the word doesn't empower women (vomit).

Since when was it OK for us to call our sisters such an unfriendly word?

Don't often disagree with you but I have to here - that's just too hippy for words, you big tree-slut (oh dear). I don't feel any connection with womankind as a whole - my one sibling is my sister; no-one else. I'm not going to make allowances for people just because we both happen to have a vagina.
re: what makes a girl a slut?
By webstArmember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Wed May 12, 2010 10:43 AM
Edited by webstAr (54294) on 2010-05-12 10:47:33 Pretty sure I made that up!
But yes, boys call girls sluts all the time and I genuinely cannot believe that you've never heard them do so.


Eh, not the guys that I've been friends with. Sadly, I've seen MUCH more of that from the girls I've been friends with over the years - especially in high school. I don't think it's that hard to believe, really.
re: what makes a girl a slut?
By Louisemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed May 12, 2010 10:51 AM
^ I'm not talking about people I'm friends with. I'm talking overhearing in bars and other public places (and conversations like the one I heard on the bus are hard NOT to overhear, when the little treasures are screaming out of the window directly behind you), reading things, watching things. You might be friends with men who don't use it (at least not publicly), but that's not the be-all and end-all.
re: what makes a girl a slut?
By webstArmember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Wed May 12, 2010 11:02 AM
^Fair enough. I still haven't ever heard a guy call a girl a slut. We're in very different parts of the world, maybe that's the difference?
re: what makes a girl a slut?
By Louisemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed May 12, 2010 11:10 AM
^ Oh right, 'cause Americans never say slut... :?
re: what makes a girl a slut?
By d4jmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed May 12, 2010 11:13 AM
Edited by d4j (104724) on 2010-05-12 11:15:13 clarification...
Sadly, young men here use the term slut all the time. :(

In high school here, the word slut is used as a manipulative ploy to assign lower status to a girl. It has nothing to do with her actual sexual activity or sexual history. Example: I know a sixteen year old girl, nice, inexperienced with boys, extremely attractive, gets asked out on dates a lot. But when she wouldn't put out with boys they were very insulted by that and determined that she thought herself too good for them (she's right!) and so starting passing stories around school about her, called her a slut and said that she did all sorts of things with boys. The rumors grew and before you knew it she was considered the school slut. Not a single girl would be friends with her. She got called a slut daily by boys and girls and it got so bad that she was pulled out of school to be homeschooled for her final year. All because she wouldn't make out with d-bag boys!
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