Forum: Advice / Girls Only PG-13

Random thought on police reports regarding dangerous/suspicious people (karma: 5)
By Jennamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Jun 04, 2010 12:40 PM
Edited by Jenna (58119) on 2010-06-04 12:40:45
Edited by Jenna (58119) on 2010-06-04 12:42:53

I read something totally random on DDN and I tried not to get all steamed - so maybe I'll just throw in my two cents here on the subject in hopes that even just one person could use the information.

Some of you have read some posts about my abusive ex (physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, severe stalking etc). We all know there are atleast 5, 6, 7, probably dozens of other women he's victimized (he bragged, I saw evidence, heard conversations etc) and only one other came forward to the the police wanting charges laid. Two others made calls to police to have him stop harassing them.

If you are vicitmized by someone - harassed, stalked - whatever, its totally your choice what you do about it. Obviosuly the ideal is to at the very least make a police report and file for a restraining order. Thats not only best for YOU, but best for your community. Im NOT harping on anyone who doesnt, because I do know how difficult the whole process is.

My life would be about a million bazilllion times easier right now if even just one more of these victims came forward. My daughter's life would be a million bazillion times easier.

When I disclosed information to the police a HUGE part of it was protecting other woman. Once someone has these things on file it becomes sooo much easier for the police, the prosecuters, the courts to deal with this person in a way that will protect both you and other victims/ potential victims.

Part of being a community is looking out for one another - especaily as women. Going through 3 years of court to deal with the criminal charges has NOT been easy, I would not wish that upon anyone. But guess what? Thats THREE whole years hes been in jail and hasnt been able to rape or stalk me, my friends, my family memebers, and all the other women and girls who live in my community. How many people have I saved from terrible experiences with this man? Probably countless! Thats something to feel darn good about if you ask me!

So please, if some random follows you home from the mall, wont stop calling you all through the night, (God forbid) abuses you in any way - or you witness something... REALLY consider reporting it. Even if it seems like something very small and insignificant (man videotaping kids at a park,from a car, with no kids there himself - you catch my drift Im sure). Even an anomyous tip can save a life - really!

Vigiliance like this in the community is essential in keeping the places we live as safe as possible.

Just like my other civic duties (paying taxes, mainting my property, jury duty etc) I considering making these reports and following through with testifying part my civic duty also.

Just wanted to throw this out there as food for thought, and perhaps get people thinking about it from another angle.

DDN is a fantasic place for advice and we all know that if someone posted about something like this we'd all be in support of them calling the police - so hopefully I dont sound like a broken record! I just wanted to let you know that when you do that very brave thing of calling the police, there could be someone involved who will forever be thankfull you did!

7 Replies to Random thought on police reports regarding dangerous/suspicious people

re: Random thought on police reports regarding dangerous/suspicious people
By iliahmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Jun 04, 2010 04:22 PM
I really want to thank you for posting this.

As a community, we tend to let responsibility fall onto other peoples' shoulders. "Oh I don't really need to call the police. Someone else must have done it already."

I read a story somewhere that I can't seem to find now. But I'll retell it. A young woman was walking home from work after dark, and stopped by an assaulter in her stairwell. She yelled "help!" and many of her neighbors turned on the light. The assaulter went away. She continued towards her front door and the neighbors turned off the light. She was confronted again by the assaulter, and yelled "help!" again, and this time, only a few of her neighbors turned on the light. The assaulter went away. When the neighbors turned off the light again, she was killed instantly when the assaulter, hiding in the shadows, slashed her throat.

None of the neighbors bothered to come out to help her, or call the police, because they all thought someone else would have done it. =/

Food for thought.
re: Random thought on police reports regarding dangerous/suspicious people
By Hasana
On Fri Jun 04, 2010 05:16 PM
^ Along those same lines, I've been told that the fewer people witness a crime, the more likely it is to be reported. The reason being, when a large group witnesses a crime, everyone assumes someone else will report it. But when only one person sees it, they know they're the only one who can report it.
re: Random thought on police reports regarding dangerous/suspicious people
By Coccinellamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Jun 04, 2010 06:05 PM
This is really great advice. Thank you so much for using your experience to educate others.
re: Random thought on police reports regarding dangerous/suspicious people
By UberGoobermember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Jun 05, 2010 12:51 AM
The phenomenon that you guys are referring to is known as the bystander effect.

Thanks Jenna.
re: Random thought on police reports regarding dangerous/suspicious people
By MuffinHeadmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Jun 05, 2010 07:33 AM
People also need to remember... everyone is innocent until proven guilty. I know of plenty of people who didn't call the cops on someone because, "Well, what if they really WEREN'T taking pictures of kids at the park/harassing that woman in the street/etc". That's not for you to decide... that's for the cops to decide.

Being arrested doesn't mean that they will get fired from their job/lose their house/have their wife leave them/etc. It just means that there's a suspicion that they did something bad. And if they didn't do anything, they go home!

Example: At my mall, there is this guy that is most likely homeless that walks around in the morning. He will poke his head into stores and spout a bible verse and then be on his merry way. I NEVER felt threatened by him, but apparently other females in the mall did... they never called the police. Turns out this guy went into a store and told two female employees working there that, "If I killed you right now... which I could... god would forgive me."

Well, that freaked them out enough to call in the po-po... and guess what. This guy was wanted for suspected rape charges, and the cops could never find him. As far as I know, he did NOT, in fact, rape someone-- she had filed a false police report. But he WAS arrested for basically threatening to kill the girls at the other store. Imagine if he HAD raped that girl.... and all these people who felt threatened by him just let it go. He would still be walking around, and perhaps commit another crime.

As a side note, I did feel bad for the guy. He obviously had some mental problems, and from what the cops told me... he was devastated that someone would say he raped a young girl. But then again, he did tell two other girls that he could kill them and god would forgive him... so I guess I can't feel that badly.
re: Random thought on police reports regarding dangerous/suspicious people
By PinUpGirlmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Jun 14, 2010 10:53 AM
^Yup, that's a textbook simple assault charge. All it takes is for the person to believe the threat.

I always try to do my part. I'm a firm believer in if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. I wouldn't trust that anyone else had already called the police.
re: Random thought on police reports regarding dangerous/suspicious people
By obsesseddancer14
On Mon Jun 14, 2010 12:05 PM
If anyone is curious, Iliah is talking about the Kitty Genovese case

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