Forum: Advice / Girls & Guys PG-13

Not interested in guys or girls or sex
By LDAdncr12
On Mon Jul 05, 2010 12:15 PM

Ugh, I just feel like there is something so wrong with me. I am 19 years old yet have no interest in sex, or really even boys for that matter ( I have absolutely no interest in girls either so that's not the issue) I love the idea of having a boyfriend and certainly have "crushes"but whenever I meet guys who are interested in me I just feel like I could never even kiss them, let alone have a relationship or sex with them. People are always asking me why I don't have or never had a real boyfriend and I never know how to answer that. Has anyone else experienced something like this? I just feel so alone with this!

7 Replies to Not interested in guys or girls or sex

re: Not interested in guys or girls or sex
By FairytaleGirlmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Jul 05, 2010 12:35 PM
Have you considered the idea that you could be Asexual?Check out

It could be that you're a slow burner, and when you meet the right person it will all fall into place.

Alternatively you could have a hormonal imbalance, maybe discuss it with your doc?

Either way, dont worry, dispite what you are led to believe, sex isnt the be all and end all, and people who dont experience sexual attraction have happy, fulfilling relationships.

re: Not interested in guys or girls or sex
By Theresamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Jul 05, 2010 04:34 PM
It's no big.

I was the same way. I never cared - and it wasn't like I wasn't aware, I just didn't CARE. I had dances to write, and classes to get to, and books to read, and I just had other stuff to DO.

And then one day, I met my now ex. And I was determined that I was going to date that guy, or die trying.

In the mean time, I just went "I dunno. I just don't have a boyfriend. Whatever." Although I did actually quit a job because when I said I was single, one of the dudes went "OH! I didn't know you were a lesbian. That's totally cool!" *headdesk*
re: Not interested in guys or girls or sex
By schuhplattlerPremium member
On Mon Jul 05, 2010 05:05 PM
There's nothing wrong with having no interest in sex. Just look at the accomplishments of Elizabeth I.

(NOTE: I had no intention of offending anyone who hails from any region where Elizabeth I caused harm. I fully realize that her reign did not benefit everyone.)
re: Not interested in guys or girls or sex
By LizDancermember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Mon Jul 05, 2010 05:10 PM
^ Umm just because Elizabeth I was called the Virgin Queen doesn't mean she was actually a virgin. She never married but most historical sources I've seen suspected that she had lovers.
re: Not interested in guys or girls or sex
By madseasonPremium member
On Mon Jul 05, 2010 07:33 PM
Edited by madseason (148702) on 2010-07-05 19:40:25
^^ Elizabeth I never married as a political ploy. She had many proposals and kept many men at her fingertips like a very clever puppet-master. Ever heard of Lord Robert Dudley? She is said to have loved him dearly. She was probably not really a virgin... or at least not because she wanted to be. Hijack END! *And I'm off!*

OP: It sounds like you may be asexual, or you may just be at a point in your life where you are not interested in either sex. There is nothing wrong with you. If you are unhappy or feel dissatisfied currently, I know that the LGBT centers across America often offer support to Asexual individuals looking to talk about how they feel. I don't think they have any agenda other than accepting people of all sexualities who are looking to find themselves. But I only speak from what I have observed and not from personal experience. Those centers could be a good resource for you if you are looking for other asexual people to talk to. You could also just give it time and see what comes. Maybe in time your mind and your body will decide what it wants. I wish you the best of luck. Please know that there is NOTHING wrong with how you are feeling even if it never changes and that you are not alone. :)
re: Not interested in guys or girls or sex
By KSBlondeEdancer1
On Fri Jul 09, 2010 10:03 AM
I think this probably means you just aren't ready...I was actually the same way for a long time. I'm 20 and started having sex last year but still have never had a serious boyfriend and yeah I've had crushes or whatever but whenever someone liked me I got grossed out imagining doing something with them.
re: Not interested in guys or girls or sex
By MarlaSingermember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Jul 09, 2010 10:41 AM
Maybe you just haven't met the right person yet. A close friend of mine firmly believed she was asexual until she was 27 years old because she just hadn't met anyone who ignited any kind of passion in her. She was engaged to a guy whom she considered to be her best friend, but she had no sexual interest in him. Then she met a different guy who is now her husband, and everything changed. Sparks flew, they had intense chemistry together, and she no longer thinks of herself as asexual. I'm not saying the same will definitely happen to you, but I am saying that you're still young, and you never know how things might change and develop in the future. You may continue to feel the way you do now, or you may meet someone special and find that you can't keep your hands off of them. Don't stress too much. Things will happen the way they're meant to, and in any case, you'll be fine. You can be happy with or without sexual relationships in your life.


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