Words for the Week



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Boxes, bags, suitcases



Saying "hello" from my parents home in the middle of Germany.. and as you can see above (sorry for the blurry picture) I'm on the move again. It also shows the method Alex and me use when moving: We don't pack boxes, we pack bags. Why? Because you can fit tons of stuff into a car when you pack into smallish entities, but three boxes fill up the car already. We can fit almost an entire flat into the car using bags, and that's exactly what you need to be able to do when you move using only a smallish BMW.

Above you can see all my crap in my parents hallway. That's almost only stuff for my kitchen: pans and pots, silverware, plates.. Oh gosh. I really don't like moving that much..

We'll throw all of that (and some more) into the car this afternoon and go down to Southern Town, where Alex will stay for three nights with me. Then we'll drive up again, he'll drop me of at Callies place in Middle Town, and then leave for Central City to catch the plane to Moscow. Oh, did I tell you that Alex is moving to Moscow? I think I did. Our friends are all joking about it, but of course he's only moving because the 800 km Harbour City - Southern Town weren't far enough for us.. Moscow - Southern Town: 2700 km. This makes it a proper long-distance thing again. (I could live without that, though.)

{Picture taken 4/1/2012}

I like

Back to the office, back to regular posting.. here's the first proper "I like" for this year!



new year, new start, new try. Don't mess it up, okay? + new books! + listening to music while driving through the dark country + reading the Sherlock Holmes stories to Alex + having Alex around here in Southern Town, in general, and seeing all my friends again + returning to being a proper adult with my own life after hopping around the country for three weeks + leaving Southern Town again on Saturday to meet Callie at her place + plans, plans, plans + the storm! it's scary, but impressive + calls from friends from all over the world + life might continue, just like that + saw "Thriller Live!" on Tuesday, and it was amazing! + finally handing over the last christmas presents today + making plans and buying tickets for planes and trains + this might be my last year in Southern Town! + I'm waiting for summer, I guess..



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Sunday Picture



{Picture taken in Central City 3/1/2012}

Sad Songs to sing



I can't see you anymore
My glasses are all steamed up
When you get in from the outside
On a winter's afternoon

I can't see clearly anymore
The direction in which I'm driving is blurry
Making my way through the fog of horror
Turning on my brights

I want to bloom
Blossom in your arms, and wither
You can let me get out at this corner over there
I want to go, want to perish
in your arms, and wither
You can let me get out at this corner over there
I want to go, want to perish
Let me miss the last train
You can let me get out at this corner over there

I can't see you anymore
I can never really reach the train
Stumbling over the train tracks
There's a tunnel over there
I can only see stars up there
And they've been dead for a long time
For months, or weeks.

Nils Frevert - Du kannst mich an der Ecke rauslassen

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Words for the Week



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Parody Day: I need some duct tape



I haven't been back for a day and again university bureaucracy has raised it's ugly head, sounding it's aweful roar across campus. Urgs.

Plus today it's Poster Day! The "Application For Elite Status" my university handed in with the government will be examined today, and for us meek underlings that means that we'll all be standing in front of our stupid posters this afternoon, smiling stupidly, answering mindless questions and representing the intellectual elite of this damn hole. Double Urgs.

It already feels like a complete farce. I can't wait for it to be over, and I'm annoyed at the idea of leaving my office and project around 4 p.m. this afternoon and walk over to the Center for Advanced Studies to present something noone cares about. Sadly I have the tendency to get rebellious if something annoys me that much, and hopefully I can manage to keep my mouth shut and not give any sarcastic answers should someone bother to ask me anything. That'll be hard. Does anyone have some duct tape for my mouth?

Good news: My project supervisor applied to a fellowship at Oxford and got it. Wheeee! That's super cool for her. Of course for us it sucks, for she'll leave our university in October 2012.. but still, it's amazing that she got the fellowship. And she already promised to have me fly over once, because I'm still working for her when she leaves Germany. It's common in academics to take your staff with you when switching universities, but her Oxford position does not allow for that. So maybe I'll be getting another trip to beautiful Oxford as a consolation. Which I'm absolutely okay with. (Celestia, dearest, watch out! Something wicked your way comes..)

Now, keep your fingers crossed that noone asks me stupid questions and that I can switch my sarcasm off for an hour or two.. they might burn me as a witch if I slip.. tempers are running high here!

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And all that stuff is for the cat



I need to explain the titel first: "All that stuff is for the cat" is a very, very literal translation of a popular german saying: Alles für die Katz. It means that everything you did was pointless and useless, that you lost your labour, that nothing was worth the work in the end.

That's exactly what I experienced yesterday at the Poster Fair thingy: All labour lost. They simply had to many posters, and put about half of them on the second floor of the building.. and noone knew that there were posters up there, too. So all the important people were downstairs, chatting and talking, and there we were, about twenty grad students, post-docs and young professors, all standing around for two hours uselessly, smiling into nothingness. About four professors managed to find the stairs, cast a short glance at each poster, said "Hello" and "Goodbye" and were gone again. So I spent two hours chatting for other academics, which was very nice and intresting. We were offered coffee and cake before the thing started, but now allowed to drink or eat during the whole thing. Blagh. At the end someone just yelled "Go home!" down the room and we packed up and left. So useless. The most interesting thing on this day was a young philosopher from the Netherlands and a british professor inventing a Southern-Town-University-Dance. And the small piece of cake I had.

..much ado about nothing..

Besides that things are going quite well. The project is running fine, my Ph.D. supervisor told me that I have apparently written a "lovely essay" (ouf!) and only need to fix a couple of minor things in the next weeks so that I'm confident that I can hand it in at the end of janurary. The university has officially rejeceted my application for reimbursment for traveling expenses for my first Oxford trip (March 2011!!), so I'm fighting their decision right now (how annoying). On the more positive note I'm back to ballet class, bought a new ballet bag & a super-cheap new leo and am horrible sore after mondays class. Alex is happy in Moscow and called my last night to show me the room (Skype ftw!). Apparently it's not even that cold there.. but it probably will be freezing when I'm there in janurary.

Now I'll go and dream of cuddeling a kitty.. Miau!

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Lesson Learned



On Monday I found out why I never became a professional ballet dancer.

Oh, it was not because of the fact that I started to late, am to inflexible, to tall, not thin enough, stiff as a tree, untalented, not very gracefuly and generally unapt to dance.

No.

On Monday my french ballet teacher was sick and asked a friend of hers to sub for her. The friend was a professional male ballet dancer & teacher, and I've never danced with a professional male dancer before. It was glorious. He gave us wonderful combinations, made us jump much faster than she usually does, had us tendu to tango music, and above all, he danced with us, every single combination. To make things a bit more challanging for him he did everything a tad more pro-level. When we did two pirouettes he did five. He jumped higher. He landed softer. He had proper head positons.

And that's when I learned why I could never have become a professinal dancer..

..because I couldn't dance myself and stare at him at the same time. So I went for staring. I messed up every single combination, because out of the corner of my eye I was wondering how he could land that graceful. Why, did he just do six pirouettes while I fell out of my single one? Oh gosh. (Those legs! Holy cow.)

In the changing rooms afterwards we all moaned and groaned at how much we suck and how can a man be more graceful than we are? Le sigh.

Now I'm a teeny tiny bit hoping that made he'll teach pointe class today. Although that would be fatal for my technique. And probably my reputation. Yummy.



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I like



Just returned from the eye specialist - my eyes are doing fine. Yes! I'm really relived + kicked myself and got back to studying italian. I bought a new book and found a new notebook in my shelves, so now I'm back to getting vocabulary in my head. Good! + Also took the first step towards my second goal for 2012, being able to play chords on the guitar and play popmusic. I can play everything from Carulli to Bach, but that's not quite modern stuff.. also want to play more Jazz and BossaNova. Here we go! + Back to regular coffee breaks. Somehow I missed them + Alex seems to enjoy his time in Moscow so far + Going to see a Musical ("Rebecca") with Daisy tomorrow. Yay! + got some new jeans from Acne. Me likes - they are finally long enough! I'm one of those tall, long-leged creatures who are forever suffering from too short denim. No more! + I want to buy some fancy preppy sunglasses this summer.. can't wait for summer, actually! + I started to organize my move in three weeks, and so many people offered help. It's wonderful to see how many friends I got! + I really want to see "Hysetria", the movie. Has anyone seen it already? + Callie gave me "Rebecca", the book from Daphne Du Mourier as a christmas gift, and I can't stop reading. Finally a book that can get me again, even if it's only crappy romantic fiction. But it's well written! + Lemon-Thyme-Body-Oil. Smells like heaven! + Sunshine + Twitter! Oh how much I love it + My Mom wants to get an Ipad - weird! But then I can play with it.. +



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Already waiting around the corner



I did a lot of organising this past week, as one tends to do in the first week of the new year. Now I got most things done, have lists of things I still need to do, and a slightly panicked outlook upon the next month.

Essay is done! I will hand it in with the publishing house next week. My Ph.D. supervisor did the proofreading and was pleased with my work (ouf!) and now Kate will get it as my last checkpoint. Also I'll be working together with a professional editor for the first time (wheee!) and therefore won't put too much work into checking grammar and spelling - of course I did proofread the thing, but I won't to it three more times as I usually do. Yay.

Then I sorted through my calender and realized that I had agreed when I got the invitation to a swiss conference in March. They mailed me recently, informing me that as a speaker I'll get paied to travel to Switzerland, stay in a castle for four nights (whooo!) and then partake in an excursion and a special dinner. Sounds good, eh? As a return service I will, of course, give a 35 min paper (easy), take part in the 25 min discussion of it (phew) and then listen to the rest of the conference. Easy on the guts, eh? Backside! The essay connected with the conference needs to be at the publishers August 31. I'm still in Venice at that point of time and won't have the ressources to write it there. That means that I have to do it - now. DANG! Should have thought about that, really. *head --> desk*

On the good side that means two publications in one year (wheeeee!), which is freakinglishly good for my CV.

Oh, the thesis, you ask? What thesis? Yeah, I'm worried about that, too.

What are you doing this weekend?

I'll meet Daisy today and we'll drive up to Stuttgart to see "Rebecca", a new musical. Hopefully our favourite musical actor will sing the leading part (fingers crossed!). Then I'll spent Saturday at her place, return to Southern Town in the afternoon, and do a bit of work. Sunday is lazy as always. And what's up on your side of this planet?

And, last but not least: I booked my flight for Rome! On the 22th of March I'll leave Southern Town for the Southern Sun! YES!

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Words for the Week



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Things I learnt this weekend



..you need new guitar picks, and playing chords on the guitar ruines even the strongest nail polish. Go out and buy new guitar picks, Fayet! Now!

..if you only look at your hands and think "gee, I need to take that OPI off", you should do it. It won't vanish by itself, you know? (Yes, I am sitting here with half chipped nail polish on my hands. Go figure.)

..buying a big new ballet bag and then taking the smallish one out of habit is stupid.

..vegan curry-sausage is brilliant. It won't fill you up though.

..it doesn't matter that your voice isn't as good as it used to be anymore. When you're sitting in a car with a good friend, howling musical songs at the top of your lungs it's not about quality, and it will be awesome, no matter how much you really suck. It's like singing "Yesterday" with your Dad. Just stop thinking and sing.

..your paper won't write itself, you know?

..don't hold a grudge at anybody. They might just be nice. Let things happen.

..than being said, if you need to hover the floor, you need to hover the floor. The dust won't vanish by itself.

..yes, it's cold outside. Put on a warm jacket.

..if the guy checking the mail register tells you that you got the wrong ZIP code, he's right. Go change the damn code. Just do it.

..be nice to Ann, really. She's not a monster. She's cute. Sometimes.

..if you're hungry, eat. It's okay.

..if the leo is cheap, it's probably not as comfy as your expensive Repetto one. Decide based on that information, and don't tell me afterwards that I didn't warn you.

..call your Mom when she's sick. She'll appreciate it.

..you can run beautifully on three hours of sleep and plenty of painkillers. You never knew, uh?

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Clear Skies



We've been having a couple of beautiful winter days now - bright sunshine, clear air, the sky bright blue. Very cold, though. But how nice! Finally I can wear my knit hats and gloves, and bundle up in my thick jacket and my bright pink wool scarf. Very nice. This is how the weather in Harbour City was mostly in winter, so close to the sea, when the fresh air carried the promise of a broader horizon. I really miss it.

But, oh well, it can't be changed. So it's Southern Town and writing papers and reading books and ordinary life, and it probably could be much worse.

Have I already told you that I'm going to Berlin for the weekend? No? Wait, how did that happen? Okay. So, Callie and me are going on a girls-roadtrip to Berlin, so see a show and the city, and enjoy ourselves. It shall be terrific and pretty awesome. Can't wait!

We had bats at the ballet studio last night. Bats! They were uber cute, and probably scared to death by our appearance. I never new that bats were flying that fast, it was really impressive: They were only small dark spots moving along the ceiling outside the studio, hardly recognizable as shapes and completely soundless. Awesome! I know bats from my parents house, where we had a huge tree in the garden where bats used to sleep, and we'd see them flying around in the darkness.They never seemed to be that small and fast, though.

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Out there to get me



Whenever I used to pass by the Central Station here there was a train to Harbour City. And of course I'd lust after the train, quickly doing the math how long it would take me to get home to Alex, at what time I'd be there, which metro I'd catch, if I'd need a taxi to get home..

Since we left Harbour City these things got a bit nicer. Because, you know, there is of course a train connection Southern Town - Harbour City.. but Southern Town - Moscow? Naaay, sure, not..

And now look at the picture above, at the very bottom, and we learn..

Yes, there is a damned train from Southern Town to Moscow, direct connection, ending at Moscow Bellorusska, which is right where Alex lives. And I'm sure that it just exsits to make me all "woe is me" and "sigh" whenever I happen to be at the station.

Life is just not fair..

{Picture taken 17/1/2012}

Aww, poor Fayet. Perhaps I think differently from you, because I think seeing that train would make me feel closer to him. After all, that train means that he's just a train ride away--I could hop on and see him in a matter of hours. Maybe it will help if you see yourself as choosing not to board the train because you're busy with your life in your own city, rather than being unable to board the train.

Or perhaps it's all semantics... but hey, that's what historians do, no? By the way, I really must tell you about the seminar I went to last night--it was as if you'd conspired with whatever deities are out there to whack me upside the head with signs saying DO YOUR PH.D.

^Of course I conspire with everyone and their dog out there to get you to do your Ph.D. Girl, that's basically my mission. (Go! Do it! You've got passion and talent, and if that's not a reason I don't know a better one..)

Your interpretation is, actually, awesome. I'll try to think that way the next time I pass by the station. Althought "a couple of hours" is relative.. it's 36 hours, and I couldn't go now anyway, because my passport is still with the russian embassy (where I applied for a visitor's permission to enter Russia. These folks are insane, and I've got the distinct feeling that they don't want me in Moscow..). Plus I'd also need a transit visa for White Russia, which is also almost impossible to have. So even if I had time and money, I couldn't get the train. But still.

Funny enough: Alex mailed me and told me that he saw the train from Southern Town arriving this morning, and that he really wanted to buy a ticket for the return trip. At least I'm not the only one.. (We have a germany saying: If you share the pain you're only carrying half of it.)

Why does it always rain on me



Weather forcast says 6 Celsius and rain for Berlin for the weekend. Mep. Not nice. Although we'll probably spent most of our time indoors anyway.. but still! Not nice.

Nicer things: I signed the lease on my new appartment. Yay! I've got a proper home again! Well, at least for a few weeks before I vanish to Italy, and then for some time afterwards. It's a cosy tiny flat, with two rooms (one is the kitchen) and a bathroom, hidden away in a nice little house on the outskirts of Southern Town, perched on a hill close to the woods and the meadows. Going for runs there will be wonderful, and taking longs walks in the woods is also a easy option. It's a pure residential area, with a church, a bakery and a small store. 10 minutes on foot take me towards a larger street and the quater's center, where I can buy everything I need and catch the tramway to town.

And it's so lovely. Freshly renovated, white walls, wooden floor, lattice-blinds, awesome. And because my landlady is actually of ancient german nobility my friends already took to call it "the castle". Hehe.. me likes.

Back to work! The storm is howling outside, and the rain doesn't look very inviting. Better stay inside and get something done!

Current page counts:

Essay for Leeds (July 2012): 2/6
Essay for Switzerland (March 2012): 0/11

Oups..

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I like



Obviosuly: BERLIN! Three days of girlish randomness and giggeling. We'll eat too much, drink too much, see a show, maybe even wait afterwards to grab an autograph from our favorite singers (stupid fangirls! But, I wonder, what do you say to those people? "Thanks for the music"? Weird.), giggle some more, and then, well, giggle. And get drunk. And meet Chan and her Husband for Brunch, because they moved to Berlin last year and now invited us over. Perfect. Friggin' perfect + Next best thing to Berlin has to be signing my new lease. Yaaaaay.. + I'll meet Mary for lunch today! Haven't seen her since June.. wohw. That's a long time! + Turkish Apple Tea + Tea invitation at Francis' place, together with Cathy today + Will buy tickets for "Orlando" at the Municipal Theater later today! + New Books: "Ada in love". Strange, but nice. Will probably finish it on the train tomorrow. + To Kindle or not to kindle? Can't decide + Colorful things + black eyeliner, smuged with midnight blue pigment, nude eyes and nude lips. Genius + Bling rings + All that glitter.. + New Make-up brushes! + Callie and me will stop at my parents house tomorrow night on our way to Berlin, because it's right in the middle between Berlin and Southern Town. We'll see what poor Callie says when she meets my parents.. It's gonna be fun! + long mails from Alex and his adventures in Moscow. I love to read about his trips and ideas and theater visits. He already saw the Bolshoi! ("Sleeping Beauty") Awww.. wish I could have been there.



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Berlin, Berlin, wir fahren nach Berlin!



Well, guess where I'm going tonight..

I'll report back Tuesday morning. Have a wonderful weekend!

(Titel translation: Berlin, Berlin, we're going to Berlin! It's a chant sung by soccer fans, because the finals for the german soccer cup always take place in Berlin. I even have a shirt saying that.. )

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Go waste your time

Okay, I'm not yet gone.. two more hours till the train leaves. Nice to kill some time, uh? (not)

Well, here's an intresting article about two guide books concerning love and sex in marriage, written from a fundamentalist christian perspective.. and here's my favourit quote on "dirty movies":

Sure, the naked people you like looking at are hot … but so is hell.

Muhahaha.. here's the full article from Salon. Enjoy the sarcasm and the fun the author has in picking those two books apart..

(Sunday) Picture



I want more, I want more..

{Picture taken 21/1/2012, Berlin}

Words for the Week



More Berlin-Talk to follow.. now I'll just say: It was a wonderful weekend, and on our way back to our respective cities we decided to turn those "Girl Trips" into a tradition.

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We thought we were rockstars



Berlin, Berlin..

To sum up our weekend would be faaar to much. So will give you a few shorts notes and tell one story, because it's just too hilarious not to share..

We did:
- take pictures in front of the Brandenburger Tor
- Visit my favourite Berlin Café, Bookstore and Department store
- Visit Chan & Joe and enjoyed Brunch at their place
- Met up again with them and their friend from Vienna for a glorious japanese dinner
- Saw the most awesomest show ever
- and afterwards met the male lead singer for a minute, who was really nice and signed my Ipod for me (see picture above, and story below)
- had snow and rain and horrible weather
- and giggled three days straight.

Story time!

We saw the show Saturday night, and afterwards went to the Stage Door to catch one singer whom I like very much (Drew Sarich, I've linked extensively to his work.. I love his new album, which is very much guy-with-guitar-style and right up my alley). It was Callies idea to wait, though - I felt super weird. I'm not really the groupie-type, nor am I sixteen anymore..

Turns out we weren't the oldest ones there, and not the youngest ones. About 25 people where waiting outside, some of them even dressed in costumes (WTF?) So, we waited, he came out, we talked nicely for a minute, he signed as requested, and we walked off. It was nice, he was super friendly and knew how to handle fans, and it was really interesting to see him in person.

Sunday we had a backstage tour at the same theater, because I love to look behinde the scenes and see how such a huge theater works. The tour was very, very interesting - and they have the most amazing ballet studio in there! I wish I could dance in that light, and all that space! Awesome. They also have pianos everywhere. I also really enjoyed seeing how the costumes are made, because I love to touch the different kinds of fabric and see how things are developed. From a dancer point of view I was surprised to see that they are working with Capezio stuff mostly, which isn't easy to get in Germany.

And now the funny part starts! Because the theater was officially closed we were told to leave through the Stage Door afterwards - yup, the same door we had seen from the outside the night before. How funny! So, we strolled around and eventuelly decided to leave. The tour had begun minutes after the last show had ended, and we had seen some actors in their bathrobes walking around backstage - so they were still in the house. Callie and me didn't think about that, walked down the stairs, I opened the Stage Door - and suddenly we found ourselves staring into the faces of an excited crowd that was waiting for their star to come out of the very same door! The door is adorned with bright lightning, so it was like stepping out onto a tiny stage. And everybody suddenly stared at us, until they realised that we were not the one they were waiting for, and then they just were curious - who are these girls, anyway? We were quite suprised, and then hurried down the stairs, and walked through a small opening the fans made up for us. Passing through we heard them try to figure out who we were.. "Dancers, maybe?" We hardly made it around the corner before we collapsed in a fit of laughter.

And that, Ladies and Gentleman, were my two seconds of fame. We thought we were Rockstars..



You can see the signed Ipod above, btw. I'm sorry for the bad quality - taking a decent picture of a mirror surface turned out to be more difficult than I thought. The signature with the little picture is Tex, my favourite german singer, the smaller one above the one I got Saturday. Now I'm officially a stupid fangirl. Although I could get used to that rockstar fame.. (No, not really).

I like



Ann passed her final exam yesterday and is now officially graduated - and she passed with a perfect grade! Yay! We had a small celebration last night, with her cooking, me providing us with far tooo much red wine, and us talking and talking and talking. We spoke a lot about moving on, leaving the appartment, and how much fun we had living together. Awwwwww. + Got a sticker on my planner say "Deathpresso. You can sleep when you're dead." Should become my new motto + black eyeliner, black shirt, ripped jeans - pink Burberry hankerchief around my neck, silver key-charm wrapped around the wrist with chocolate/pink satin band. I love being all inconsistent. + ..and I need to buy new black eyeliner.. + Butterkekse - Butter cookies, in a yellow package, the only true office food. Gift from Cathy. Thank you, dear! + on the same hand: recieving that many offer of help for my move. Nearly everybody offered a hand, a car, some hours. You make me all teary eyed, ladies.. Thank you. + BOOKS! I already read two this year, which make me super happy + Fresh pears from the market and orange-red coloured roses + still dreaming of Berlin and talking about it with Callie + Rasberries. Want them. So badly. + I feel like I'm slowly getting a bit stronger en pointe - but I really need to practise more.. + Making plans for Moscow & constantly exchanging mails with Alex. Sadly our letters seem to get lost in the mail. Russia is annoying, sometimes. + new eyeshadows! + I got tickets to see "Orlando" with Hilda next week - can't wait. Need to finish the book first, though..




I really wanted a tatoo when I was sixteen. Something on my ankle or my wrist, a quote possibly. Of course my parents were horrified and nearly locked me up in my room.. so I trashed the thought. I don't think I'll ever do it, but sometimes I still toy with the idea. If you'd get a tat, what would you get? Where? Why? Tell me!

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