The darndest things happen at universities - Episode II

Returning from the Special Manuscript Collection, which is located in a building belogning to the library just a few minutes away, I dragged myself up the stairs to my office (5th floor) and noticed that something was different. The floor was little bit, well.. wet. Must be my dripping pink umbrella.

I continued my trek further up, and suddenly encountered two buckets placed on the stairs, filled with water.. from above. There is a leak in the ceiling. A freaking leak. The whole floor is wet, water is running down the stairs, and all they did was placing two buckets and a yellow "Caution - wet floor!" sign on the stairs.

If universites in Germany had to compete within the regular economy, we'd all be closed down in a month.

Hills hidden in the fog



Ah.. autumn in Germany. Welcome, gray skies, pouring rain, wet shoes. Welcome cold air. Welcome, fog that is setteling down on top of the hills, obsucring my beautiful view towards France.

I'm dry (well, at least my office is - the buckets on the stairs have been replaced by a big hod), in the office and happily fed with the most beautiful apple whole wheat roll. Now I'll finish this diary entry, and then merrily type away, feeding my thesis. Can you imagine that I came into my office this morning, made the first cup of tea, and just like this openwd a new document and wrote the first words for the second chapter of my thesis? I mean, the first real words I wrote for the thesis! Not the exposé I want to hand in next month, no. Today I typed the first words of the real thing. The big one. What a feeling!A fresh wind is coming.

We will see how things continue. I'll be in the office until 3 p.m., and then I'll meet Callie for a lenghty visit to our freshly reopend art museum, followed by lazy dinner, wine, and girls talk. What a fine saturday that is! Just the right amount of work to keep my mind happy, and just the right amount of friends to keep my soul happy. I hope your's will be just as great.

Weekend Preview: Look out for the big Japan post that I wanted to write for ages, and that I'll post online tomorrow. Plus there's some "Weekend Fun" coming your way..

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Weekend Fun

To celebrate the weekend, here are a few things where you can nicly waste some time. Because that's what we can do on weekends (and probably so much more..).

This weekend I'd like to focus on posting a few links to some blogs. I stumbled over a few interesting blogs last week, inspired by a friend who asked me if scholars can have style. And the answer found on the internet is clear: Well, at least we can try.

Enjoy!

1. Academichic

2. Scholar Style Guide

3. What would a nerd wear?

4. Fashionable Academics

5. Orchids in buttonholes

And, as little special, a scarf tying bibliographyby Academichic and the artist survival kit, which doubles beautifully as a "Scholar Survivel Kit", or even a "Ph.D. Student Survival Kit".

And, last but not least.. Funny, but the sorry truth:



Life is sad.



..those guys know what they are talking about.

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Sakura in Japan, Part I - the pictures

From March 1th to March 22th 2010 Alex and me traveled through Japan. It was my graduation present from my parents, and a real dream. I had wanted to go to Japan for such a long time, and making my dream come true was awesome. Japan was simply stunning - so very different, yet so beautiful. Here is part I, which will bascially consist of lots of pictures and an some words about our journey. What Japan meant to me is a different story, and will follow soon in Part II.


(Miyajima Island, off the coast of Hiroshima)

We arrived in Tokio on March 1th. It was surpsingly grey and cold! I had arranged our itinerary beforehand and booked all the hotels with the guidiance of the "Lonely Planet", which for the rest of journey came to be known as "the book", especially when talking with fellow backpackes we met at hostels ("you got the book?" "Yeah, sure!")


(A hidden temple in Tokio at night)

We were lucky to have friends in Tokio. Alex went to university in the US with the guy, and his wife was so kind to show us around. They made an incredible effort, taking us out to dinner to places we could have never afforded (traveling on a shoestring, anyone?), showing us their hometown and explaining so much. Their hospitality was incredible, and we're deeply indebted.


(Kyoto)

Leaving Tokio we traveld to Kyoto, where we stayed for a few days. From there we traveled to Nara and Himeji. The Japan Rail Pass was probably the best thing that ever happened to us, because we could just hop on and off the Shinkansen whenever we pleased to do so.


(Himeji Castle)

From Kyoto we visited Hiroshima, where we took a boat trip to the island of Miyajima. We did some hiking there, which was very beautiful as well. From Hiroshima the train took us back to Tokio and we spent the remaining days there, with a short trip to Takayama and Nikko inbetween.



I loved Tokio. I'm very fond of big cities, and always enjoyed staying there (Shanghai, Hongkong and Singapore being my favourites in the asian world), but Tokio quickly became my favourite city. It was big, but intimate at the same time, without a real city center, but with many centers. There was so much to see, do, hear and talk about.

In the end we agreed that we wanted to come back one day, and preferably with a bigger budget. We were lucky with the hostels, and everything was clean and okay, but we saw so many things we wanted to do or eat and simply couldn't afford. And Japan is a country where splurging can give you a unique experience and if worth every penny spend.



In the end, as always, traveling is worth it. Japan gave me a new sense of beauty and serenity, and also insights into a culture so very different from my own. I discovered new foods, met new friends, and saw myself in a new lights. I can say that I'm looking forward to go back again.

My breath in the air

Lord in heaven, it's cold! What happened? It's sunny, and it'll probably be getting warmer during the day, but leaving in 5 °C was really a shock, gloves, scarf and everything. The wind was sharp, hurt my face and put tears in my eyes. Now my sensitive ears hurt.. Eek! Call my lazy, but I'm really looking forward to october 1th - because from that day on I have a student transit pass, and can just hop on the streetcar whenever I need to go somewhere. And there it's warm and cozy!



Did you have a nice sunday? I was really lazy and didn't do much besides laundry, letter writing, reading and practising my italian a bit.

What are your plans for the upcoming week? I have lots of things on my list:

I need to buy a birthday present for my mom
On Thursday I'm going home, because my mom's birthday will be on Friday, and I promised I'd be home.
Today I need to buy the train ticket! (must-not-forget)
Finishing my exposé for the thesis (appointment with my supervisor Tuesday next week!)
Cathy will be back in Southern Town tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to see her again.


..and then there's the usual stuff for my job. So I better get working! Have a beautiful week!

Poem of the day

Alas, they had been friends in youth
But whispering tongues can poison truth:
And constancy lives in realms above;
And life is thorney; and youth is vain;
And to be wroth with one we love
Doth work like madness in the brain...
But never either found another
To free the hollow heart from paining
They stood aloof, the scars remaining
Like cliffs, which had been rent asunder;
A dreary sea now flows between.
But neither heat, nor frost, nor thunder,
Shall wholly do away, I ween,
The marks of that which once hath been.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge, 1772 - 1834

Quoted from: Tinker, Brewester CHauncy: Assault upon the Poets, in: The Yale Review (4) 1925, p. 643.

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Hot Porridge, cold days

Life seems to slow down these days. And I thank the Lord, for I really need to go at a slower pace now. Working a lot is necessary if I ever intend to finish both project and thesis, but I can only keep this up for two or more years if I go slower than I did past month. Working to one's fullest capacity calls for more self-consideratin, small luxuries and a careful ear turned towards oneself, so that the first signs of a crash are heard early and it can be avoided. There is nothing to be gained if I work for a year like a mad woman and then crash with an ED or a nervous breakdown. And I know I'm prone to something like this happening, workaholic that I am.

So, slow and beautiful life. Ann took up the habit of eating a big bowl of porridge every morning, and I think I'll join her in this habit. It's nice and comforting to have something warm for breakfast before mounting a cold bike and cyceling through the freezing morning air. I think I'll try to get out of the office before 8 p.m. tonight, so that I can hit the Whole Foods around the corner and buy some oats and brown sugar. Doesn't porridge just call for brown sugar?

Here's a funny link Ann send me, concerning the perfect porridge.

So, what's on the list today? Of course, the project. Maybe finishing the essay for my project supervisor, M. Maybe continuing some work on my own essay, which is to be published in an online Law Jorunal this december. Walking to the library, picking up books. The shopping mentioned above, plus buying some new hair things. Coffee with Daisy to calm her down (she'll take her final written exams next Saturday). Buying a birthday present for Mom. And, important: Have a hot chocolate with Ann tonight and sew ribbons on my Bloch Suprima pointes, for tomorrow there's pointe class, and I fully intend to go there. (I talked about luxuries already, right?)

So, off to work I go!



Poem of the day

Fall, leaves, fall; die, flowers, away;
Lenghten night and shorten day!
Every leaf speaks bliss to me,
Fluttering from the autumn tree.

I shall smile when wreaths of snow
Blossom where the rose should grow;
I shall sing when night's decay
Ushers in a drearier day.

Emily Bronte

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^Ah, I love that poem! I sang it in school chorus when I was 11, and still have the first stanza memorized. It is no longer surprising to me that you and I share taste in poetry and life pleasures.

Lovely Japan post; I still haven't written the series of blog entries on Japan (OH I've just remembered I didn't give you the link!! I'm so sorry! It's the website listed on my Facebook page). I also went to Miyajima! That was one of my favorite parts of the whole trip. I wish we could have gone hiking, as the trails looked beautiful, but there wasn't enough time. Maybe I will go back someday.

As for porridge, it goes with many things! Brown sugar is definitely good; I am quite partial to cinnamon and honey, especially if mixed with blueberries or sliced banana. It is my favorite breakfast to have before work in cold weather (full breakfasts are lovely for weekend brunch, but not great for an everyday thing).

I really must mail my letter to you! Need to get lunch and work on Latin right now before my afternoon class, but maybe tonight I'll write the letter and pop by the post office tomorrow. At least it won't take as long to get to you!

It's so funny that you know this poem, too! I found it by mere accident while reading the "Yale Review" from 1925. The "Yale Review" is really entertaining, filled with poetry, short stories and scientific essays, and I lost so much time by simply reading through the heavy volume here and there.. There are more poems to come from there! [When I'm in oxford we need to have coffee/tea somewhere and just entertain each other by reciting poetry. We're real nerds, I guess!! ]

Miyajima was so beautiful, yes. You really missed something by not hiking, although for us it wasn't planned either. We climbed up a mountain, actually! It was so exhausting, and the hike was much more difficult than we had thought. But in the end we arrived on a tiny temple pereched on the very top of the mountain, within the clouds, and rang the bells there and clapped our hands. The feeling was very unreal, very close to heaven. I really want to go back to Japan, yes! when I'm grown up and have enough money to spend..

Porridge: I like brown sugar a lot as well. I wanted to buy some today, and somehow Ann talked be out of it, grr! Now I need to go back. And cinnamon, yummy! I'll try that soon.

I'm looking forward to your letter!! Oh, and: I just found your blog, and love it. The weird comment about eating something from the backery is from me, btw - I didn't realize that I logged in using the wrong name. Sorry!

Enjoy latin.. and don't forget: Per aspera ad astra!

It shall pass

I'm utterly freaked out by the whole Sue-thing. (if you want to know how much I'm actually freaked out, look for my thread on the 'Health & Nutrition' board..) She came to me yesterday again, and there's nothing more exhausting than talking someone into something she doesn't want when you can't use reasonable arguments. I probably could talk the devil into eating flies (this is my bad translation of a german proverb), but talking Sue into seeing a therapist is incredibly hard. She cried and cried, and when I strictly told her "no crying in my office, please" she nodded and told me that it was reasonable to forbid crying. Then she said those things that sound so normal: how she's afraid of completely loosing her mind, how she lost all the goals she used to dream of, how she only wants her life back. It was really sad to watch this.

Phew. Coming home last night I had to seek some comfort from Ann, who luckily was at home. We have a rule saying that if one of us is really stressed out she lies down on the carpet in our hall, and the other lies down next to her and we talk. We call it "hitting the floor", and it's such a good way of seeking advice and words of encouragement. So I hit the floor for a while. I went to bed really early, but didn't sleep well, and am still exhausted today. There's a lot to do now.. and added to this there are construction workers on the roof above my office, and it's so loud that my head already hurts. I guess I'm in for a heavy migrane today..

Positive things: Cathy is back, and I'm so looking forward to see her for lunch today. And then there's pointe class, and I'll use my coffee break to quickly sew the ribbons on my fab new shoes - I was so distressed yesterday that I didn't manage that.

I'm a bit worried.. Alex called me yesterday and asked me to go for a walk with him on friday, because he "had something important to tell me", which was a bit awkward. Either he's going to propose, or leave me, or telling me that he wants to move to Japan or whatever.. but I really don't need anything of that right now. I just want my calm live back. And I certainly don't want to marry Alex right now - I don't have the budget, or the time, to plan a wedding. So, please-dear-lord-in-heaven, from all the options, let it be Japan.

I need a cup of herbal relaxing tea, and I need it right now. And a hug, maybe.



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I read your other thread, and I have to say that while I don't really have any advice, I really admire how you're dealing with the situation. It's pretty shocking what your colleagues have said about it, and I think it's great that you're using caution with kindness.

*hugs* You never know; whatever is on Alex's mind might not be as heavy as you think it is, or maybe it will be a wonderful surprise that you can't even imagine!

Fantastic 'hitting the floor' idea. I will have to figure out some equivalent for myself, as I have no hallway in which to lay down!

girlwithghillies wrote:

I read your other thread, and I have to say that while I don't really have any advice, I really admire how you're dealing with the situation. It's pretty shocking what your colleagues have said about it, and I think it's great that you're using caution with kindness.

Thank you. I'm doing my best, although it's not easy, and I wonder where I have that patience from. Usually I'm not a patient person..

celestia836 wrote:

*hugs* You never know; whatever is on Alex's mind might not be as heavy as you think it is, or maybe it will be a wonderful surprise that you can't even imagine!

Fantastic 'hitting the floor' idea. I will have to figure out some equivalent for myself, as I have no hallway in which to lay down!

Well, I really hope you're right there! Today he seemed much more relaxed, so I really hope it was just me crying wolf.

'Hitting the floor' works beautifully. You can lie down wherever you are (given that the floor is clean and comfortable), and just look at the ceiling and think aloud. It works best when you're not alone (Ann says it only works when someone sees you lying down), but I think it also works well when there's nobody there. Simply by lying down you pull yourself out of your normal position, and see everything from a new point of view (quite literally). Sometimes a new view can help clearing up the chaos within us. Plus lying is calming and always gives me a sense of peace.

But imagine my face when I came home for the first time and found Ann lying on the floor in the hallway! At first I thought she wasn't feeling well, but she explained and now it's a well-loved principle in our household.

Almost Weekend



What does a picture of a suitcase mean?

It means that I'm currently packing one. Because I'm going home. And I can fully say that I really need that right now. Plus it's a happy reason: It's my Moms birthday tomorrow, and I always try to be home for my parents birthdays. Birthdays are big things in my family: All the people come togehter, we eat and drink and celebrate, and enjoy ourselfs. It's such a cliché, but I love our parties so much. Plus I'll get to see Alex tomorrow, which is great as well.

And I don't need to see my office today! No loud constructions workers, no people wanting things from me, no crappy cafeteria food, no Sue, nothing. Instead I'm comfortably seated at my own desk at home, relaxing and doing some small things for the thesis, plus I can look forward to a home-cooked meal - that is, if I manage to get groceries from somewhere.

Grand, really.

I think I will be back with some pre-weekend-fun for you later, but if I don't find the time for that: I wish you the most awesomest weekend ever!

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Weekend Fun

Far too early this time, but seeing as I didn't want to let you hanging in the air for the whole weekend (you could be productive, and how horrible would that be?), here's some fun!

1. Fab Sarah Wilson wants you to ride a bike, and I think she's right.

2. Aubrey Road is one those beautiful blogs I just can't get enough of..

3. ..same with A cup of Jo

4. Do you have Balls of steel? (Careful: the video is a bit loud, turn your speakers down!)

5. Or are you bored?


6.



..this is the right time to admit that I'm left-handed, yes?

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Poem of the day

See how the fates their gifts allot,
For A is happy - B is not
Yet B is worthy, I dare say
Of more prosperity than A!

If I were Fortune - which I'm not -
B should enjoy A's happy lot,
And A should die in miserie -
That is, assuming I am B!

Gilbert and Sullivan: The Mikado

Oh, and while you're at it.. could keep your fingers crossed that Alex doesn't try to propose to me tomorrow? He's acting really strange on the phone all the time now, going "I want to see you immediately, we should go for a romantic walk, I have something important to show you..", and you know my point of view. Positiv energy, please?

A morning

New morning, new week - hello, everybody! I'm back.



And I had a terrific weekend. Alex did not propose, thank god (although he said very confusing things about our future), and the remaining weekend went by without much happening. I went shopping with Mom on Saturday, but didn't really buy anything. But I fell in love with the perfect statement-making ring (big bling is all I say here), and after leaving the store I decided to buy it for me as a "I love myself"-present from the remaining money from the first paycheck. I always through that from the first paycheck one ought to buy something really special that will bring memories back of that time, when we were still young and usually broke.. yeah. So I'll check my bank account and than get some bling for my buck later today (and I can't wait!!).

My mom's birthday was nice, but exhausting, as I had migraine attacks the whole day long and took too many painkillers. But the party was nice, after all. Saturday afternoon I cleaned out my closet and threw all my old handbags and clothes from High School out, which felt brilliant. Making space somewhere is grand, and decluttering makes me feel so light. Breathing works better when there's more room for air!

Now focus on the new week. A new girl will move into my office today. I have an appointment with my Ph.D. supervisor tomorrow (panic!). I need to phone the university administartion today, because they messed up my medical insurance (eek!), and I need them to fix it as soon as possible. Plus I'll go for lunch with Ann today and with Cathy tomorrow. And then it's ballett class today, and the weather is so beautiful that I took the bike to university although I could have taken the streetcar. Hear me roar (watch me sweat, ugs).

I'll show you a picture of the ring later!


Poem of the day

A protest against the glory of heaven

Hide me from too much light. No sun, no moon,
No stars, no fire, no flash upon dark glass;
And yet a glow as of unbearable noon
Dazzles me, and the white hours never pass;
Trees raise their branches over me, and yet
There are no shadows, where I might lie deep
In darkness, and grow drowsy, and forget
The gods and god-begotten things in sleep.
Better my dreams, better one veiled hour,
Than the stark universe before my eyes:
Shadow of live, enough; shadow of power
Enough; for in their fulness my soul dies.
I was but shadow, and I long for night
To hide me from this agony of light.

Francis Charles MacDonald

I just finished reading "Dracula" - longish review to follow, but let's just say that this book scared me quite a bit. Very creppy, but so well written. I highly recommend it!

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Want! Vol. 6



So here's my bling. It's really big, even on my long fingers, but it's so beautiful. And it glitters! Wheee! I'm not a glittery-girl, but sometimes.. And, sadly, I didn't buy it today. I wanted to, but they were out of stock in my size. No! Now I have to wait up to two weeks, grr! Very sad.

It will be something special from my first paycheck, and I want it to become a token for me - a symbol for the promise I gave myself: I can do this. I will do this. I will finish this project and the Ph.D., and I will finish it with a good feeling and a sound mind and body. This will not ruin me. It will be my ultimate triumph.

And what can be better as a reminder of a promise than something huge and sparkly on my hand? Yeah, right. Nothing.

..now I only wait for it to come in.

Thing of the day



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I like



the bracelet Ann gave me as a small gift + talking to my Ph.D. advisor and being given good advice + being invited to speak next summer at a major german research university + sunshine + having Cathy over for dinner next friday + buying a bracelet for Cathy to cheer her up a bit + wearing a skirt and boots + intresting clouds in the sky + getting a coffee, later today + pink fingernails + new books + sweet letters from Alex + thinking about the future + smiling + my pretty new haircut

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Nothing changes

I left the house today and didn't remember that I currently can't use my bike right until the last minute and had to run for the tram than. Blegh. Stupid me. Last monday I promised myself not to use my bike until I had someone take a look at the brakes - not being able to make an emergency stop takes much out of the joy of riding a bike.. and somehow I don't want to end up underneath the bus. Or in the river or somewhere.

So I'm walking today. That means I need to leave the office earlier to go to pointe class, it means I need to walk all the way from the studio to the next tram stop and then have to wait to for the tram... And I hate taking the tram after class, as I'm all sweaty and not very pretty to look at.. blegh! Hopefully I can arrange something for my bike for the next days so that it's fixed in time for the next class.

Besides that nothing special happened. I went home early yesterday, for I was finished with everything I had planned to do that day. Ann wasn't there that evening, and I had dinner with a book as company. Reading while eating is stupid - I ate carrots with mustard, and without noticing it ate about three times more thant I usually do. Not that overeating carrots is bad, but I was a bit suprised about it anyway.

My life is kind of boring, isn`t it? Working, sleeping, working, sleeping. Sometimes just nothing happens, you know? I feel a bit like "Groundhog day", every day the same things happen. Nothing really changes. Hmpf. I guess it will get better soon?

Something to look forward to: My parents are coming to visit me in Southern Town this weekend, which is nice. Although I need to clean the flat beforehand. Oh, well.

Thing of the day



Alex is currently in Barcelona. I'm very jealous. He sends me texts telling me that "Barca just isn't right without you", but it doesn't make things better. I had a wonderful time in Barcelona with friends in October 2004, and when I look back at it we were so young and stupid. It was so good, and so warm, and sunny. It's been so long, and things change so fast sometimes, and in my heart I know that I wouldn't go back if I had the chance.. but I'd love to write a new story about Barcelona with Alex, and take new pictures to replace the old.

OH MY GOD



I want the "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster for my office.. although I like this one even more.

*breathe in breathe out*

I got invited to speak at a conference in Switzerland about my Ph.D. thesis. In four weeks.

OH MY GOD! Has my Ph.D. supervisor gone mad??? I have written ONE PAGE! In the whole thing! There's not even a real structure or anything. I don't HAVE anything to talk about. Sure, she said I could talk about my master thesis and then develope the questions I'm asking in the Ph.D. thesis, but hello? Four freaking weeks!

Of course I bit the bullet and agreed to speak.

Lord, give me strengh. And a good sized "Keep calm and carry on"-Poster. Or a time-turner. That, actually, would be most helpful. GAHH!!

Wow, that's so exciting! I'm sending you positive you-can-do-it thoughts!

^Ahww, thank you! I really appreciate (and need) that right now.

Pumpkins, carrots, flowers



Do you have a good farmers market near your home or workplace? I do, and I love it. I'm a regular at the big "cathedral market" right next to our beautiful 800-year-old cathedral. It's a really big market, with vendors from the region. Southern Town is located in one of Germany's most fruitful regions - not only does it house some of the best vineyards in the whole of europe, it also is a big producer of fruits and vegetables. And on the cathedral market you can buy all this from the people who make it, plus of course meat and bread, new wine and cheese, homemade jams and hand-picked flowers, wooden tools and fresh pickles. It's a huge tourist spot, and people love it.

I bought a big piece of pumpkin for Cathy, some pears, fresh grapes (on which I'm nibbeling right now) and a bunch of flowers. The flowers - you can see some flowers very similar looking in the picture - now decorate my office, and my new office-mate, Rose, loves them. All the way back people where looking at the colorful flowers I was carrying, and smiling at their beauty. While I was buying the pumpkin a tourist approached me and asked me what I planned to do with my pumpkin. I told her (pumpkin-goatcheese-thyme pizza) and we talked about bit about cooking and how great everything looked. It was nice. Those marketdays are generally the experience people remember when coming back from Southern Town - they think of colorful flowers, friendly people and an intense feeling of german "Gemütlichkeit". In that respect, Southern Town is very german indeed.

But of course there's now work to do (isn't there always?). I'm currently finishing my expose, and will give it to Alex, Cathy and Ann, who double as editors, this weekend. Than it can go to my Ph.D. supervisor next week. Tomorrow I'll meet a guy from the sociology department of a swiss university close to Southern Town, who agreed to talk with me about the social theory I'll attempt to abuse for my thesis. Then there's be a meeting of the editorial board for my law journal tonight, and I'll see some old friends there (and maybe meet new people). Things are progressing, which is good.

Have a great day, everybody!

Maybe too much, or not enough

I got a warning shot yesterday, and I think it did me well. Somehow things got pretty dense suddenly.. I worked from 8.30 in the morning till 8.00 at night, without taking a real lunchbreak and only munching on some smaller things at my desk. I didn't get much sleep the night before, and forgot to take my iron. Turns out that living on three pieces of fruit, a bretzel, a danish and a bowl of cereal for nearly twleve hours isn't quite a good idea. D'uh.

Around 7.00 at night my right ear suddenly went numb. I have no clue why, but everything seemed to be wrapped into thick cotton wool.. it was weird. I decided to keep on working. At 8.00 p.m. I went to the meeting of the editorial board for the law journal I'm working with. We met in a café, and although at that point I was well beyond feeling hungry (or feeling anything else besides "extremly tired") I ordered a soup while the rest had pizza. I even joined when everybody decided on some hot chocolate afterwards.. and then I felt sick to my stomach. People must have noticed that I was kind of "off", because afterwards our head editor walked me to the tram station and made sure I got on the right tram. Which was so nice of him. Ann told me today that I must have looked like crap when I came home, and that I talked as if I was drunk. I fell asleep immediately when I touched the sheets, and almost overheard my alarm today. But sleeping helped so much - I can hear again, I'm incredibly hungry, and feel much better than yesterday.

I wonder what happened yesterday. Sometimes my body just goes into "Nope, not today" mode and collapses (seems that it has something to do with me being anemic), but that did not happen yesterday - which as good: A trip to the ER would be the last thing I need right now! But this weird feeling of being drunk without being drunk? Strange. I need to sleep more, monitor my food intake better (e.g. make sure that I eat regularly and healthy stuff) and watch out for stuff like this. Weird, weird, weird.

Thing of the day



This really fits yesterdays mood. I wonder where it's from - looks like part of an exhibition.

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Ahw, monday

..wish it was sunday. As you might have noticed, I haven't been online for a few days. That is because my parents visited me saturday & sunday, and we spent two wonderful days eating and drinking, and having much fun. My father took us out for dinner on saturday, and it was brilliant. We went to one of those restaurants I'd never go to alone or with my friends, and I had the most delightful Bellini and very tasty handmade gnocchi with mushroom-madeira-sherry-cream. Yum.

Now there's a new week, with new things to do & new adventures. What are you going to do this week?

I have an appointment with my project supervisor later today to discuss my research essay I wrote for her. Then there's a lot to do for the online law journal I'm working with - there's a big conference on friday, plus I want to finish my article. I need to finish my Ph.D. thesis-exposé thing to hand it in next week, so I have to put some work into this. Thursday I'm scheduld to attend a workshop that is supposed to teach me how to use a literature database - that wasn't my idea, but my project supervisor's.. Friday night I might go to the cinema, and saturday I'll make a day trip with Daisy into the France. Yay!

Until then there's much to do. I feel kind of okay, although I had a stupid conversation with Alex on the phone yesterday that left me miserable (and him too, I belive). He's in Berlin now, but I won't be able to visit him. The only weekend I could have gone up would have been the one where I'll now give a speech in Zürich, and I can't find any other weekend fitting - going to Berlin means loosing three workdays plus the whole weekend (7 hours on the train, one way!), and I just can't do that now. Plus I love Alex, but I hate Berlin, and I need to go up for Christmas anyway. And I'll meet Alex in december, for his sister lives close to my parents and there his family aways celebrates the big christmas family get-together well before christmas. Situations like this are a bit difficult - he wants me to be more "girly" and longing for him, and sometimes I just don't give a damn and need/want to stay where I am to get somewhere with my work. I guess sometimes he wished he had picked a more "housewife" type of girl, instead of an someone who loves her job almost as much as him. We in for some trouble here, I think..



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There's smoke in the air

Cold! Cold! Cold! Lord, it's cold outside. Glove, scarf, cap - and still cold. Plus the brakes on my bike are really done. It's good that it'll go to the "bike doctor" today.. it just isn't safe anymore.



I just got mail from my Ph.D. supervisor telling me that I will not speak at the Zürich conference (mehp). I'm a bit dissapointed, although very relieved. It would have been so much work, but also a good chance to prove myself and show the academic world who I am. So this has to wait for a few more month. At the same time not having to write a lengthy lecture takes so much stress out of my working schedule that it's really amazing. I will still go to Zürich and sit in the auditorium, so it's not that bad. And I really like Zürich! It's an awesome city with a lot of style and even more tradition.

I talked to Alex on the phone yesterday and things seem to clear up slowly. I made my best effort to be cute and lovely (whatever that is), and it helped a lot that I was already snuggled in bed and tired from my ballet class that evening. I'm much more approachable when I'm tired, it seems. But somehow I just don't do "cute", I'm just not that type, I think.

So, anyway, Alex told me a very funny story that happend to him that day, and I want to share it with you. He started working for the German Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Berlin yesterday. He arrived early, all dressed up in his laywer suit and everything, and started to search for his office. He didn't find it, but then a guy waved him through a couple of doors and he just walked on, standing suddenly in a vast and very well decorated office space where he immediately was approached by a hectic officelady who started to ask him who he was and what he wanted, and how the hell he got in there.. Turns out he had marched straight into the office of the German Forgein Minister, Guido Westerwelle! He had no clue that the doors he had easily walked through where high security doors.. It was very funny. He didn't actually see the Forgein Minister, as he wasn't in his office that day, but he told me that the office was rather big and pretty. Something like this can only happen to Alex. That guy knows where he wants to go, that's for sure!

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