Forum: Advice / Girls & Guys PG-13

Friend is going out with the guy I like... after I told her I like him
By balletgirl125member has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Mon Jul 19, 2010 08:21 PM

Maybe I'm just making a big deal out of this, but it kinda bothers me that she'd do that.

I've been friends with her for about a year. I was talking to her over text and we were talking about boys, so I mentioned that I liked him.

Now, I knew he liked her, but I'd asked her MANY times if she liked him back, or if she'd go out with him if he asked. She said she didn't like him, wanted to be single, etc.

Fast forward about a week. I see a Facebook post saying that he's in a relationship. By now I'm pretty much over him, since it didn't make much sense for me to like him if he's completely in love with her anyway.

So text her asking a couple of random things first. Then I ask if they're going out, and she just doesn't reply back.
I eventually find that, yes, they are going out.

Maybe I'm over-reacting, but it just doesn't seem right to go out with the guy your good friends likes. Opinions/Advice/Thoughts?

8 Replies to Friend is going out with the guy I like... after I told her I like him

re: Friend is going out with the guy I like... after I told her I like him
By iPurplemember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Mon Jul 19, 2010 10:35 PM
Maybe she was scared that you would react badly if she said yes, since she knew you liked him. Does she seem like the kind of person that would do that?
re: Friend is going out with the guy I like... after I told her I like him
By AlwaysOnStagePremium member
On Mon Jul 19, 2010 10:49 PM
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I mean, if everyone went around avoiding people that their friends like, no one would get anything done and the 'happy couple' ratio would drop through the basement. Often the "no exes" rule turns out to be a good one: the present drama from both sides can be too much for most relationships. However, avoiding people that you've daydreamed about? I"m not sure how much of a case there is for it.


You had a crush on him, he is with someone else. As much as it can suck, I don't see why she should forefit a possible good relationship because she also noticed that he was a good guy.

Or, think of it the other way around: you both liked him--would you have accepted if he asked YOU instead of her?
re: Friend is going out with the guy I like... after I told her I like him
By Spiorad
On Mon Jul 19, 2010 11:24 PM
I'm kinda with AlwaysOnStage with the "sometimes yes, sometimes no". However, the thing with me is that I just feel that people do not own another person. Like Always said, if everyone went around avoiding someone their friend liked, likes etc. no one would ever get anywhere.

I'm not saying it doesn't suck because it completely does, but at the same time I just feel that people should be mature enough to handle situations. Unfortunately this is not the case in reality so discretion has to be used.

I'm sorry you are in this position though, because it is crummy. :?
re: Friend is going out with the guy I like... after I told her I like him
By shenae
On Tue Jul 20, 2010 06:02 AM
it probably seems a little bit too simple but you should definitely talk to her about it. dont ask her to break up with him or anything, just make it known how you feel. you never know, she mightnt realise what she did
re: Friend is going out with the guy I like... after I told her I like him
By balletgirl125member has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Tue Jul 20, 2010 07:27 AM
Okay, thank you for all the advice. I just wanted an opinion on how big of a deal it really was, so thanks for all the replies.

I actually found out from another friend that they would have gotten together a week sooner, but she knew I liked him so she waited.

She's a good friend, and I don't think it's worth it to get into a fight over it.
re: Friend is going out with the guy I like... after I told her I like him
By BeautifulMistakemember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Tue Jul 20, 2010 11:59 AM
It's not worth a fight, but she should've told you before that she liked him too not saying she didn't. She should've just been upfront and honest.
re: Friend is going out with the guy I like... after I told her I like him
By igotthebeat
On Thu Jul 22, 2010 12:09 AM
this has happened to me twice already.
first time: she asked me if she could go out with him, i said yes, cause what would I do with him if I said no, i would have gained nothing since i barely talked to the guy.

second time: she didn't ask. i barely talk to her anymore.


so, she should've asked you if she was a good friend


just sayin'
re: Friend is going out with the guy I like... after I told her I like him
By DefyingGravityPremium member
On Thu Jul 22, 2010 01:13 AM
Going back to high school, if I turned down every guy a close friend of mine had had a crush on, I never would have dated anyone at all. She could have told you that she liked him, too, but in the end they liked each other and now their dating. Case closed. Had he been your EX rather then your crush, then my answer would be different, but crushes aren't "do not cross" territory.

ReplySendWatch

Powered by XP Experience Server.
Copyright ©1999-2021 XP.COM, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
XL
LG
MD
SM
XS
XL
LG
MD
SM
XS