Oh that's a priceless story right there.

I an going to try and see what I can do. I honestly could tell you just who the trouble makers are though, the are the ones who run out of the studio before I can even leave the classroom, Which by the way is very irritating too me because they are ballsy enough to send a nasty email but not ballsy enough to even be in the same room as me.

OkinawaDancing wrote:

Oh that's a priceless story right there.

I an going to try and see what I can do. I honestly could tell you just who the trouble makers are though, the are the ones who run out of the studio before I can even leave the classroom, Which by the way is very irritating too me because they are ballsy enough to send a nasty email but not ballsy enough to even be in the same room as me.

Which is why they do not warrant an e-mail response. If they wish to set up a personal meeting, YOU provide the secretary/receptionist with a day/time that is convenient for YOU(preferably in the middle of the work day when it is not convenient for them)and if they wish, that is when they can speak to you.

And I've seen the whole "toxic lobby" scenario thing in play. One way to eliminate it is to provide little motive for having the parents sitting in there. Only the parents of your youngest students(the ones who may need to be taken to the bathroom) should be using your lobby as a waiting room. A lobby and separate dressing area for students is a good idea. And only have dance material readily available for reading. If there isn't anything interesting there and few "comfy" seating features, people won't be as prone to "hangin' out".

The setting up a meeting to speak with me thing is one of the things that I know I have to change and will be basically initiating next season. I have the email as a convenience not as a place to throw virtual punches. I have been throwing around the idea of making a policy that basically states that if you abuse the privileged to contact me via email your only option of correspondence will be via appointment but I have not come up with anything yet.

Be certain that "meeting times" are made at times when you are not teaching which is why I suggest the middle of the day. My previous boss often had parents coming in to crab and moan while she had to have teen students "teaching" her classes because once the parent/s got her trapped in her office, she had no way to get out. Another good idea would be to have the meeting, not in your office, but in a more public part of your studio. At least then, if things were not completed by the time people started showing up for class, you would have an excuse that the meeting had to end as class commitments would need to take precedence.

tangerinetwist wrote:

Be certain that "meeting times" are made at times when you are not teaching which is why I suggest the middle of the day. My previous boss often had parents coming in to crab and moan while she had to have teen students "teaching" her classes because once the parent/s got her trapped in her office, she had no way to get out. Another good idea would be to have the meeting, not in your office, but in a more public part of your studio. At least then, if things were not completed by the time people started showing up for class, you would have an excuse that the meeting had to end as class commitments would need to take precedence.

Absolutely!

tangerinetwist wrote:

Which is why they do not warrant an e-mail response.

Precisely.

The next time you get an email, SHOULD you even choose to respond, your response should look something like -

"Concerns can be addressed at a meeting. I have Friday from 1:00-1:20 available. Please confirm."

Give it an END time. The don't get to bend your ear indefinitely. Make sure you have somewhere to go/do.

If they are running in late and running out early, I would wait until their daughter is in class and then walk right outside of the classroom and say "Friday @ 1:00?" and then promptly return to my class.

And based on what you've said, it's highly doubtful I would even give them a meeting. My time is too valuable to spend on mom's who I ultimately want to have out of my studio.

My dismissive response to them would be in an email that said -

"It is apparent that you have multiple ongoing concerns regarding our policies. We believe that students and parents should be happy with their choice of dance studio and advocate seeking out an environment where they are content.

We can provide studio references, if you wish.

A refund for all classes not taken to date will be sent to you ASAP.

I wish you and little Sally May well.

Best,
Da Boss"

A very sweet "bite me".

That is my tactic from now on. And honestly you are right, I am never going to actually have a meeting with anyone.

Good luck.

Try this method. I assure you, you will like it.

I do not know if you receive Rhee Gold's Dance Studio Life magazine? If you do, the issue I received today(Aug. 2010) has a good article about establishing and enforcing your studio rules. If you don't receive it, the on-line version should be available on his website soon.

The hardest thing, that I ever had to do, was get tough and stand up for my own rules.

At first, I was so desperate for students, that I gave into a lot of stuff. I saw it backfiring and realized that I was being walked on like an ant.

I started being tough (not natural for me in any form) but it worked.

It's hard being a small school because even one student leaving is a big blow at the minute. But there's always going to be children who want to dance so I hope it will get better.

I'm going to add forms to my welcome packs for the parents to sign saying they agree to the rules. That's an excellent idea and thanks to everyone for pointing it out to me!

birchio wrote:

It's hard being a small school because even one student leaving is a big blow at the minute. But there's always going to be children who want to dance so I hope it will get better.

I'm going to add forms to my welcome packs for the parents to sign saying they agree to the rules. That's an excellent idea and thanks to everyone for pointing it out to me!

Having something like this is a MUST!!!! Through the years the one thing that I realized is that if you don't have any type of proof that the document was read or even given to the parent it's as good as a waste of paper.

I can relate! There are days where I want to just give up. It is so stressful trying to please all of the parents and the students. Why do they get upset when you ask them not to wear jeans to class? How can you stretch in jeans?? By the end of the year I look at their performance and realize it is worth all of the stress to see how much they learn through the year

I tried the SO thing for 3 years and it didn't work for me. I had the administrative background, so I thought my school would run like an office would. Not! At first I thought, just lay out the rules of your studio and everyone will follow or if not, go somewhere else and everyone will be happy.

At first I tried to deal with the issues you are speaking about here, all those issues that SO's have to put up with everyday! So much garbage. So I thought okay, just keep sweeping out the garbage, taking care of business, enforcing the rules. The big item for me was collecting money from clients who wouldn't pay. I absolutely hated doing that. I would see the client eating in a nice restaurant and they would smile at me and say hi and I had to smile back and all I wanted to do was say...where is my money you owe me? Emotionally I didn't have the ability to let these kinds of things slide and it was all making me feel ill. I couldn't be creative and I could see down the road that my teaching career would be in jeopardy if I didn't quit, so I did. The current SO at the studio I work for is also giving it up because she finds it too stressful...she lasted 5 years.

Like Dreamchaser, I'm much happier now as just a teacher. Not everyone is cut out to be an SO. I just cared to much. You may find that no matter what you do, solutions you try, problems you solve, what you do is not making you happy and you have to make a choice.

Because I have been an SO myself, I have a greater understanding and respect for all the crap you guys have to go through.

I think I will drink a toast to all you SO's out there tonight. Who's with me?

^^^ Being an SO is a bitch! There are wonderful, wonderful aspects, but yes, it does take a certain personality type to do it effectively.

loverofballet wrote:

I think I will drink a toast to all you SO's out there tonight. Who's with me?

I'm in for a drink! LOL

I did love being an SO, but I love to teach and had to cut back my teaching hours to properly run the school. I might still have it if things in my personal life had not changed, but when my son died, my husband retired, and he is home more. He does not handle well me being at work so much, but he also does not have the type of personality that I could bring him in as part of the school, like my boss' husband. He does not have the best social skills and is not very diplomatic.

Then, my daughter was becoming a single mom and I needed to be there to help her watch my granddaughter once she started working full time. She is still fighting for child support, so she cannot afford childcare, nor preschool. I am home pre-schooling her (which is not much, thank God), but there is no way that I could run a school, teach, watch her, placate my husband, etc.

I am also a cancer survivor, and no matter how hard I work at keeping healthy, I do have a compromised immune system and when I am run down, I get very sick.

I have the best of both worlds. I spend my time teaching, actually seeing people I did not have time for before, and tbe organizational me uses those skills to help run a charity event and volunteer for another.

I also feel, with all of my heart, that when we fight our gut instincts and stick with something that is screaming in our head, "This is not for you!" then we need to heed those words.

I do believe that we get messages from the other side (call them angels, guides, God, whatever) and they are trying to guide us to the correct path. So far, when I listen, I know it is right. When I fight it, I am so darned ticked at myself for not, because it did turn out wrong.

Dream_chaser wrote:

I do believe that we get messages from the other side (call them angels, guides, God, whatever) and they are trying to guide us to the correct path. So far, when I listen, I know it is right. When I fight it, I am so darned ticked at myself for not, because it did turn out wrong.

Wise words Miss Janet.

I also had my own studio back in the mists of time, I ran it for seven years before I'd had enough, well, I was pregnant with my fourth child too so there was more than one reason.

Now I'm just teaching I enjoy my job so much more. I work for two community run dance academies with parents running the business side of things and I just do the dance bit. I advise them if there are issues they're unsure of, but apart from that I just teach and it suits me just fine

Just as loverofballet says, I have a huge respect for all of you SO's who put up with all of the S#*% that's thrown at you.

Yes, Dreamchaser, I too listen to my intution (angels/guides). I know that they are there to help me and have my best interests in mind. Often things or feelings pop into my mind out of nowhere that turn out to be important. I have also kicked myself at various times in my life for not listening to my little voice of warning.

I have just cracked open a bottle of wine. Here's my toast: Cheers to all you SO's who meet the challenges of your position with strength and infinite patience! And Cheers to us teachers too who gave it our best shot and found another path to happiness and success.

^^^ Love my angelic guidance!

Maybe we should also toast to our angels.

Here's a toast to the angels that keep us on track and lead us down our appropriate paths.

^^^I'll second that toast.

I second both toasts.