I've never been good with kids. I have a picture of myself at age three, with a look of horror on my face and trying to inch away from my infant cousin. I'm not like those girls who coo and pounce on anything baby related - I don't particularly like other people's kids, hated babysitting jobs, and the thought of a mucky baby makes me gag.

For a long time, I didn't want kids at all.

But. I've turned clucky. Lately my womb has been twanging when I see a (clean!) baby, or a well-behaved toddler. Doesn't help that three cousins and a workmate have had babies, and I've been melting into a puddle of "aaw" when shopping for gifts.

It's all academic at the moment anyway, because I've some issues that are preventing us from getting pregnant, but when they're resolved.... I think I want a child.

My partner will be an awesome dad, but I'm scared I'll be a terrible mother - I'm kinda irresponsible, lazy and easily distracted. And even the cats like him better!

I'm worrying over nothing at the moment, because it's not exactly imminent. But one day...

I won't lie - this was me four years ago. I was so convinced that I'd have a kid and screw it up somehow, that I reasoned that it was just better to not have one at all.

And you know what? Being a mom is really not that hard. My son is crazy smart, and the coolest dude I know, by far. Scatter brained as can be, but then, where do you think he got that from?

I don't fancy myself as an especially maternal person, I don't have an exceptional love of children, and I never have. I remember being in first grade and going "I'm never going to have kids. But if I change my mind, I'm going to adopt." (I must have just learned what adoption meant. Heh.)

The biggest thing about assuring a well behaved child is give them a clear standard of behavior that you expect, in language they understand. We've always done that with James, and he's always managed to follow through. On any give day, I'll have a random strangersstop me, and tell me how well behaved he is. For real!

So it's scary as crap, but it works out.

Thanks for the reassurance, T. It's good to know one can be a great mom without the other-people's-baby rabies!

Keep in mind that not all kids are easy. I have an easy kid and one that has always been a challenge. (The harder one kept me on my toes every day for many years.) Some kids are just harder to deal with, no matter the skill level of the parent. My easy kid was born when I was 24 and the harder one when I was almost 30. I am so, so glad I didn't have the harder one first because she may well have been an only if I had had the idea that all kids were like her. (Not that I love her any less, but she has definitely been more work.)

kk~

^Every time Jim comes down with the baby rabies, I point that out. "Listen, we don't have good enough karma to get him twice. The next ones going to be burning the house down, I promise. It's not what you think." lol...

haematite_raqs wrote:

Thanks for the reassurance, T. It's good to know one can be a great mom without the other-people's-baby rabies!

You can be a good mom without ever having contracted the baby rabies. I'm baby rabies free, and I don't think I'm doing so bad. So far, at least. LOL!