Forum: Advice / Girls & Guys PG-13

A boy my friend is planning on "breaking up" with just asked me for her ring size. Do I warn her?
By Believemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Aug 20, 2010 04:06 PM
Edited by Believe (168514) on 2010-08-20 16:07:51

Okay so, in an attempt to make an incredibly confusing situation short and understandable, I'm going to briefly explain the situation.

My friend, K, and I are both friends with this guy, D. D has had a huge crush on K for years, and a few months ago started actually pursuing her (asking her to prom, they made out at a party while drunk, etc.). K was unsure if she liked him or not, but has been giving him a chance. Anyway, yesterday she told me that she is avoiding him because she just doesn't have romantic feelings towards him. She is trying to figure out how she is going to tell him this, but has yet to let him know.

Today, D texts me and asks me for K's ring size. Since K is going away for school, I'm assuming he's getting her something along the lines of a promise ring, he said he put it on hold until Sunday.

Anyway, should I tell K before Sunday so she can let him know she's not interested, thus saving him the embarrassment, and giving him a chance to not purchase the ring? Or should I just let it all play out?

I feel like it's kind of not my business, but it sucks because they're both my friends, and he's so crazy about her, and knowing his heart is going to be broken soon is killing me.


EDIT: They aren't technically a couple, but she thinks he's going to ask her to be his girlfriend soon.

6 Replies to A boy my friend is planning on "breaking up" with just asked me for her ring size. Do I warn her?

re: A boy my friend is planning on "breaking up" with just asked me for her ring size. Do I warn her (karma: 1)
By TheMidlakeMusemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Aug 20, 2010 04:12 PM
Edited by TheMidlakeMuse (78507) on 2010-08-20 16:14:15
I'm not normally one for meddling in these types of situations--but I would tell her in order to save him the embarrassment and the money. It will at least give her the kick in the butt she deserves for being a weenie about telling him how she feels, and hopefully stop her procrastination. I think you should tell her to stop waffling anyway as a good friend...the ring is just a good excuse.

Dani
re: A boy my friend is planning on "breaking up" with just asked me for her ring size. Do I warn her
By Believemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Aug 20, 2010 06:49 PM
^Thank you.

I have been telling her, basically since they started this whole thing that she needs to let him know she doesn't like him that way, and stop leading him on, but she's too scared to do it!

Anyway, I just got off the phone with her, and she had told him (via skype, eek) that she just wanted to be friends. He basically told her he wanted to be with her, and he loves her so much etc. etc, but she stuck to her guns, and he had to leave to go to work.

She feels awful, and he's texting me about how upset he is, but I keep telling her that she did the right thing, and to not beat herself up over this.

I'm glad I told her, because like you said, Dani, it would've been way worse had he already gotten her the ring.
re: A boy my friend is planning on "breaking up" with just asked me for her ring size. Do I warn her
By pols
On Sat Aug 21, 2010 08:32 AM
Smart move. It's really tricky when it's none of your business but you can see the train wreck coming. In this situation I really think you did the right thing to warn her. On the other hand, it would probably have done her good to realise what a mess can be made when you don't have the guts to be up-front about your lack of interest in someone.
Still, if I were you I would have told her too.
re: A boy my friend is planning on "breaking up" with just asked me for her ring size. Do I warn her
By leap2livemember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Mon Aug 23, 2010 06:26 PM
I might be wrong, but I have a feeling that this situation might get a bit messy still. You're definitely the 'middle guy' right now. Just be on the look out for 'What did so and so say' or 'Why didn't you tell me he bought a ring' etc, etc. If I were you I would just take a step back and try to get as uninvolved as you can.
re: A boy my friend is planning on "breaking up" with just asked me for her ring size. Do I warn her
By Believemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Aug 23, 2010 06:41 PM
Thanks guys.

Everything has really smoothed over. There were two days where D was being very emo over the whole thing, texting me about how unhappy he was and stuff, which made K feel incredibly horrible. I went to her house the day after the "break up", brought her flowers and cheered her up. By the next day, they were talking like friends again, and everything seems to be normal and okay at this point- he's even still willing to come to the goodbye party we're having for her.

All's well that ends well? Hopefully.
re: A boy my friend is planning on "breaking up" with just asked me for her ring size. Do I warn her
By JavaChip
On Tue Aug 24, 2010 02:50 PM
^^Sounds like you're a pretty awesome friend. It's awesome that you were there for support and got out of a really sticky situation. No one likes being stuck in the middle of a situation like that, but I think you handled it really well.

Hope it all continues to work out!

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