Forum: Advice / Girls & Guys PG-13

Page:
Page 2 of 3: 1 2 3
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV. (karma: 2)
By panicmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Sep 25, 2010 02:50 PM
I'm going to invent a Godwin's law for when the clucking hens of DDN compare any unrelated situation to rape? What shall we call it?
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV. (karma: 1)
By Cienmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Sep 25, 2010 03:17 PM
Edited by CienPorCientoPAZ (147923) on 2010-09-25 15:21:05
Heart wrote:

...Besides, even if you use a condom you're still at risk for herpes, crabs, and HPV. So it's not really "protected."

Are you serious? Just because condoms don't protect against EVERYTHING 100% ALL THE TIME, they're not worth using (and since I know you'll nitpick: I know it's not what you said, but it's what you implied)? Please don't ever teach sex education.
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV. (karma: 2)
By Sumayah
On Sat Sep 25, 2010 04:33 PM
panic wrote:

I'm going to invent a Godwin's law for when the clucking hens of DDN compare any unrelated situation to rape? What shall we call it?


The Law of Irrelevant Over-Dramatizations? The Law of Off-Topic Manbashing? The Law of Randomly Abstract Purposeless Examples? Hmm...
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV.
By madseasonPremium member
On Sat Sep 25, 2010 05:04 PM
^ Ooooo I like the first one. The law of Irrelevant Over-dramatizations. We could just call it The Law of IOD for short.

Yeh

Let's see: be safe, protect yourself, be smart, get tested, know about testing and results, know about your partners, respect yourself...lalala and blablabla.

Wait- everyone already knows this.
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV.
By teenydanseur
On Sat Sep 25, 2010 06:36 PM
OP I won't judge you for not using a condom but I STRONGLY encourage you to get tested for HIV as soon as possible! If you had unprotected sex with someone that discovered they have HIV you should get tested even if the most recent guy you had sex with turns up negative Even if he is negative you could still be positive. I won't nitpick on anything else, because what is done is done and you can't change the past but if you only do one thing please do that! You want to keep yourself healthy, as well as your future partners

Many places to HIV testing for free!
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV. (karma: 1)
By lux
On Sat Sep 25, 2010 07:14 PM
panic wrote:

I'm going to invent a Godwin's law for when the clucking hens of DDN compare any unrelated situation to rape? What shall we call it?


The (Drama) Llhama's Law.
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV.
By Heartmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Sep 25, 2010 09:01 PM
CienPorCientoPAZ wrote:

Heart wrote:

...Besides, even if you use a condom you're still at risk for herpes, crabs, and HPV. So it's not really "protected."

Are you serious? Just because condoms don't protect against EVERYTHING 100% ALL THE TIME, they're not worth using (and since I know you'll nitpick: I know it's not what you said, but it's what you implied)? Please don't ever teach sex education.


Non, mademoiselle, but don't act like it's the end-all-be-all either.
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV.
By YumYumDoughnutPremium member
On Sat Sep 25, 2010 09:45 PM
Edited by jazz_lover (99333) on 2010-09-25 21:50:15
Removed by jazz_lover (99333) on 2010-09-25 22:01:52 Rethought this out and don't want to cause anymore drama with my post. For the record " If a girl wore condoms she wouldn't have gotten HIV" is the same thing as " If the girl didn't drink she wouldn't have gotten raped".
Guys, I wasn't saying what I said to be dramatic. It almost sounded to me that you guys were saying " You are stupid for not wearing condoms and you may have contacted HIV. Hahaha you should have known you loser"
I guess rape was too big of a difference, so lets say lung cancer. " It is your fault for smoking cigs everyday. Now you have lung cancer but you had it coming to you. You are stupid, you should have known better".

I just don't think that it was very nice to say to a person who MAY have contacted HIV
" You should have known better, you had it coming to you"

After Megan clarified what she meant, I realise that she was ONLY taking about the whole reputation thing. What I was talking about was reputation and the possibility that the OP may have contacted HIV.

The reason I picked raped is because people on DDN ALWAYS say that rape in never a persons fault. I guess you guys can replace rape with lung cancer, obesity, STD's etc.

Sumayah, I don't think that the Law of Irrelevant Over-Dramatizations would work. Personallly for me, I believe that HIV is a serious condition.

Anyways, I may have not been clear in my original post. I reread it, and I can totally see how I didn't come across right the first time through. This is why I am coming back to reword things the way I meant it in the first place.

I am not here for a debate, so I am going to just state this and leave things the way they are.


I also don't think that my post is off topic. In my personal experience, I have observed that people sometimes attack the OP for the hell of it. Jump on the bandwagon and just attack and attack. I just felt that the OP fully admitted that she was being stupid, and there was endless attacking on peoples part. While my point may not "be on topic", I would like to think that the OP would apperciate someone actually standing up for her. I know that when I used to be attacked in the past, I liked it when people stood up for me.
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV. (karma: 1)
By Sumayah
On Sat Sep 25, 2010 10:16 PM
Lol, my reply had nothing to do with STD's and everything to do with the fact that in this instance, Panic is right. People are quick to jump on the manbashing and implications of rape at the slightest hint of, well, anything. I know you're not implying that OP had been raped, you were using it as an analogy of sorts, but it was sooooooo left field and irrelevant for the topic at hand.

I also don't think anyone is saying "you deserve to aids because you had sex without a condom," I'm getting more of a "you reap what you sow" sort of thing. The OP admits she made a poor judgment call. Everyone is saying, "well yeah, if you have unprotected sex, you should be prepared to face the consequences of those actions." The OP seems to be prepared. She's getting tested, and she's learned a lesson and will doubtlessly be more cautious in the future. Her post was a warning to others that hey, I did something dumb in the heat of the moment, here's what's come of it, don't make my mistake, learn from my bad choice and realize this could happen to you too.

And by the by, I don't think that people should get sick, I'm not that cold-hearted, but your analogy change to smoking or obesity in relation to std's doesn't excuse people of their choices. You choose to smoke knowing that lung cancer or emphysema may be in your future, well, you actively made that choice and if in fact your choice leads to one of those consequences, you really have no to blame but yourself. You knew full well what might happen and chose to follow that path regardless. It's not the cigarettes fault for making you smoke them. Same with obesity, and by obesity I assume you mean you're excluding those folks with actual legit conditions, that person chose to overeat and to not exercise. In their future they're looking at myriad of possible outcomes. If they become obese and develop diabetes, they can't blame the donuts for making them fat - the donuts didn't leap from the box into their mouth un-abetted. They chose to purchase and eat said donuts. They live with the consequences of their actions.

With an std, you have control over what you put in your body and "good faith" is not the same as seeing test results. You play with fire? Well chances are you're going to get burned. Maybe not the first time or the second time, but if you keep being careless, repercussions will be had. It's your body and the choices you make have effects. So no, no one wants the OP to get HIV, I certainly don't, but she is responsible for her choices and she is currently doing what she can to make better choices in the future.

OP, I hope your test is negative and that you're able to move past this part of your life.
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV.
By Storyteller
On Sun Sep 26, 2010 10:29 AM
Whoa, slow down. All that "pointeless467" probably wanted to do was find a voice, a place to talk about what was playing on her mind. Nothing anyone says here will change the facts. If she's lucky, then great, live and learn, if not, then... Live and learn.

Does anyone really think, that you can tell her something she's not thought of herself? I know that I've never had to face such a dilemma and God knows I wouldn't ever want to but I bet it would make one think.

I think it demanded courage to speak so openly about such a controversial topic and that's where my opinion stays.
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV.
By SaraTheGrouchmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sun Sep 26, 2010 10:39 AM
Edited by SaraTheGrouch (63195) on 2010-09-26 10:41:41
Okay. Hold up. Why am I getting the impression that your reputation is more important than your health, here??

Honestly, if some random guy started spreading a rumor that I had HIV, I'd just laugh and walk away. Anyone who actually knows me would know he's full of crap and wouldn't believe him for a second. Of course, I haven't given anyone a reason to believe him. Why do you care that much? The more defensive you are, the more people will get suspicious, like in any other situation. If you pay them no mind and shrug it off, it'll all blow over and some other persons drama will come up.
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV.
By YumYumDoughnutPremium member
On Sun Sep 26, 2010 10:46 AM
^ I think that it maybe where the confusion was for me.
It wasn't so much about the actual rumor, but the fact that I thought that the OP had HIV. If she knew she was 100% clean, the rumor probably wouldn't have bothered her. I thought it was bothering her, because she knew there was truth to it.

It came out 100% wrong the first time I said it, and I apologize for that. I meant to say that getting HIV was comparable to getting raped, lung cancer, practically any other devastating thing. I DID NOT mean that reputation ruining was the same thing.

OP, I just asked a friend of mine who is a nurse. She said to keep getting tested over the year, because it sometimes doesn't show up on a test the first time you test. I assume you know this ,because your mom is also a nurse. I really hope that your results are negative. While some people say "everyone should know that", it isn't always common sense for some people. I think that your story could have changed a life or few, although the person may have not commented on it.
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV. (karma: 5)
By Meganmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sun Sep 26, 2010 10:49 AM
One more point I'd like to address in this situation is this whole "I wouldn't have sex with anyone I didn't trust completely" thing that's been brought up.

Unfortunately, it is possible to have an STD and not know about it (and there are also a couple that can be asymptomatic in a man anyway). So when this great guy that you trust entirely says he's clean and thinks he's being honest with you...it's perfectly possible that he isn't and he doesn't know it.

Wear a condom, kids.
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV.
By panicmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sun Sep 26, 2010 02:05 PM
I meant to say that getting HIV was comparable to getting raped, lung cancer, practically any other devastating thing
So now you're comparing rape to lung cancer? You say your last post was 100% wrong, but I guess you think this one is perfectly reasonable. MK.

HIV and lung cancer are primarily diseases you get as a consequence of your own actions. Rape is a violent crime. I'd like you to please think about how offensive and absurd your comparison is.

We really need a name for this new law.
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV.
By reel_faerie85member has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sun Sep 26, 2010 02:31 PM
Guys I think what the OP is trying to get across here is " I messed up - this is the moral of the story please read it and don't make the same mistakes I have" not "I messed up can you please all tell me what an idiot I am".

OP already acknowledges in numerous places the mistakes that were made and acknowledges she should have known better.

I don't think anyone here is advocating unsafe condomless sex but rather trying to make others aware of the consequences.
If OP had run the risk of HIV through a needlestick injury sustained at work without wearing gloves (say in a nursing situation) would we all be giving her the hooha treatment? Doubtful even though it is best practice. Not wearing gloves is not illegal, nor is not wearing a condom, its stupid, its asking for trouble but the condom could have split and all sorts.

Lets just give the OP some support and hope that her tests come back clear and the bloke in question stops being a jerk and spreading rumours (lets hope thats all he has spread!).
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV.
By YumYumDoughnutPremium member
On Sun Sep 26, 2010 02:49 PM
Edited by jazz_lover (99333) on 2010-09-26 14:56:02
Edited by jazz_lover (99333) on 2010-09-26 15:03:08
Panic. Yes, I do think that lung cancer caused by smoking and date rape caused by drinking too much are along the same lines.

In either case, I don't think that the person was planning on getting raped or cancer.

In either case, the person should have known that it is a possibility.

In either case, it is a life altering problem that shouldn't be taken lightly.

Rape isn't always a violent crime; which is why I said if a girl drinks too much. I know many girls who are raped by their dates. They said they wanted sex, but they were actually too drunk to consent so they got raped. They weren't violently raped, but technically it is rape if she was too drunk to consent.

Not wearing condoms is playing with fire. Getting drunk to the point of not being able to consent and defends ones self is also playing with fire.

That doesn't mean that the person "deserves" what happened to them in either case. A guy crossed the line by violating a female, even if she got herself drunk.
The op never "planned" on getting HIV, and it is cold hearted to assume it was her fault.

If the situation was changed and said " I know I messed up, I drank and acted really flirty with a guy. I wanted to have sex with him, but I changed my mind, yet he had sex with him". Would all of you say " you had it coming to you! You are stupid, you should have known better"?

I don't think that is a way to treat a girl who was raped, nor do I think it is a way to treat someone who may have become victim to HIV.

I still don't understand how people can look at a victim and flat out say " It is your fault and you brought it upon yourself". Panic, you said that it is offensive to use rape since it is a crime. I understand where you are coming from, but do you not understand how scary having HIV is? I find it offensive that you are taking HIV so lightly.

Maybe I am misreading your intentions, but when you say I am trying to start drama, it makes me feel that you only see my posts about HIV as DRAMA. I wouldn't ever cause drama about a serious thing like becoming victim to HIV, and I sure hope you aren't doing the same.
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV. (karma: 3)
By Odessamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sun Sep 26, 2010 03:46 PM
Can I please remind everyone that this is NOT the debate board? This is the advice board.

If you want to debate who's fault rape and lung cancer is, please take your victim-blaming to the Debates board.

Thankyou.

Erin.
::righteous babe::
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV.
By YumYumDoughnutPremium member
On Sun Sep 26, 2010 05:24 PM
Thank you Odessa. I admit we ventured far off into left field. Plus, I am glad you said to stop the victim blaming, that was my goal for the sake of the OP all along.

OP, I know that a lot of people were blaming you for being a "victim" to the horrible treatment from your ex lover and the possibility of getting HIV. ( I never for once thought it was your fault, which is why I am not blaming you for being a victim)I know you have no obligation to tell us what happens, but will you please let us know how the guy reacts to the fact that he has no ammunition? This is just curiosity more then anything. I have never heard of a guy starting a rumor like that, and I am just curious how he plans to keep up the lies.
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV.
By SaraTheGrouchmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sun Sep 26, 2010 06:03 PM
Holdddd up. If you get a needle stick injury, it won't matter whether or not you're wearing gloves. It's a needle. Needles go through the crappy nitrile gloves they give us to wear at work. The gloves aren't to prevent needle sticks, they're to prevent exposure to dirt, germs, infection, BLOOD, and other bodily fluids, etc. Some people I work with don't bother wearing gloves unless a patient discloses that they have some sort of communicable disease, but me, oh hell no. I treat everyone like they have something that I definitely don't want, and this is my case in point right here. People are irresponsible, make mistakes, and think they're all good until someone gives them a reason to think otherwise. It'd be real crappy if a co-worker contracted something because the patient didn't get tested and didn't know they were infected with something. THAT'S what worries me.
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV.
By Odessamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sun Sep 26, 2010 06:08 PM
SaraTheGrouch wrote:

Holdddd up. If you get a needle stick injury, it won't matter whether or not you're wearing gloves. It's a needle. Needles go through the crappy nitrile gloves they give us to wear at work. The gloves aren't to prevent needle sticks, they're to prevent exposure to dirt, germs, infection, BLOOD, and other bodily fluids, etc.


quoted for truth. There's a huge difference between exposure to a communicable disease through an accidental needle stick whilst wearing latex gloves, and exposure to a communicable disease through choosing not to wear a condom with an untested partner.

Erin.
::righteous babe::
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV.
By kandykanePremium member
On Sun Sep 26, 2010 07:18 PM
This is all well and good to warn folks, but on this particular occasion, it's like shutting the barn door after the horse got out. Yes, the door should have been closed, but all that can be done now is to find that damn horse, put him up and not let him out again. 'I told ya so' doesn't really help.

kk~
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV.
By pointeless467member has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Mon Sep 27, 2010 03:54 AM
SaraTheGrouch - as for your "if you didn't pay any attention to the rumor" comment - the thing is, and I wrote in the first post I've made as well, that this isn't some random guy. We have common friends. One of which I've slept with in the past. Unless I prove the rumor wrong by getting the test results back, dude might be telling the truth. (Although unlikely. He's lying to my face, constantly, since he accused me of giving him HIV.)

Panic - other than hijacking the thread and arguing with EVERYONE who dared not agree with you, you pretty much said nothing at all. Just stop doing that, please. That's not what this thread is for. If you wanna argue and nitpick, have a debate on the debates board. *nods*

And to those who actually had something supportive to say and got the point I was trying to get through - thank you. I really do appreciate it.

That said, I had my blood taken today, and now it's just playing the waiting game. :\
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV.
By SaraTheGrouchmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Sep 27, 2010 08:52 AM
Yeah, and your common friends should know you enough to know that he's full of crap. But you seem to think that he actually may not be full of crap, now, which is a whole different story.
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV.
By Heartmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Sep 27, 2010 09:24 AM
When I got the AIDS test done it took about 5-10 minutes and I go the results right there at the clinic. Just fyi, there may not be any waiting involved.
re: Guy saying I contaminated him with HIV. (karma: 1)
By SaraTheGrouchmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Sep 27, 2010 10:30 AM
Hide yo kids, hide yo wives, and hide yo husbands.
Page:
Page 2 of 3: 1 2 3

ReplySendWatch

Message locked, no more replies allowed
Powered by XP Experience Server.
Copyright ©1999-2021 XP.COM, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
XL
LG
MD
SM
XS
XL
LG
MD
SM
XS