Forum: Arts / Diaries

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re: Lets see what happens next...
By celestia836
On Mon Apr 02, 2012 09:14 PM
Just wanted to send you some hugs. Your posts today really struck a chord with me. I've also had trouble fitting in for much of my life--won't go into the whole sob story here, but know that you're not alone in those feelings of loneliness, or unsettledness. I think that I've started to find something that could be my niche, and I really think that you will find one of your own someday. It could be just round the corner; you never know!

And just like you, I also hole up in my room far too frequently. Sometimes I worry that I'm not being sociable enough for my housemates, but we chat enough in the kitchen that (I think/hope!) it's fairly clear that I'm not avoiding them because I don't like them, but because I like my alone time. I've found that baking random things and leaving them out for my housemates with a smiley face note saying 'eat me!' is a good way to remind them that you don't hate them. :)
re: Lets see what happens next...
By Emmamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Apr 03, 2012 05:46 AM
Oh I do that plenty, because I love baking! So it's ok mostly. They frustrate me sometimes, with the way that they do things. Little things, leaving their washing on the rails once it's dry, not rinsing the shower, but I can get over it.

Anyway, I was lying in bed thinking about the whole "no reason to be as freaking damaged as Meredith Grey" thing... But then, the guy I lost my virginity to dropped me soon afterwards, because he wasn't sure if he was even going to be in town much longer, and he needed to figure himself out. Then he did that, much quicker than he expected to, and got together with a girl who became my friend. Friends close, enemies closer mentality, but I forgave him eventually because he was just a douche to me, and she's a lovely girl. Always hoping that he would drop her or that she would see sense. However then I read "he's just not that into you." and I figured out that even though he was, at a time, he then wasn't, because of his personal stuff, and he is actually really into her. So while she and I are close, I tolerate him. And he really loves her, so that's good. Especially since they have a house together now.

So yeah, there's the abandonment from that, which causes me to not allow myself to get too close to anyone too quickly, or at all really. I was getting closer to a guy a few years later, but he was (and still is) an alcoholic, but somehow it's socially acceptable because he's young. Anyway, he and I were seeing each other, but in a sort of casual way, then he broke it off, and I was pissed off because it was for a girl that didn't want him. Stupid one directional triangle.

Then I stopped trying to get close. I just started seeing myself as something to play with for a while.

I'm not.

I'm changing. I'm actually becoming a lot more responsible, so hopefully I'll figure this whole thing out, and allow myself to love and be loved. If I could find anyone who is that into me.

I've pushed people away that are into me... There was the guy in France, but I didn't want to move too fast, and when his co-workers all got a taxi back to their hotel, he was stuck in my village, and I didn't want him in my bed, he had to. So I dropped him for not listening to me. Just started ignoring him. Then there was the guy who I was texting very frequently before moving over her. And as soon as I got here I freaked out, and stopped contacting him as much. I'm a coward.

I need to be braver, and I need to be stronger in my convictions. I also need to go and eat something, but that's a right now thing, so I'm gone.
re: Lets see what happens next...
By Emmamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Apr 04, 2012 07:06 PM
Pub... 3 rums, no, only 2 rums, and a cider. Excellent night... Good craic, good company, and even though it was an early night that's ok. I'm 26 now, after I fixed the 36 typo... :P

Good birthday, for a 26th. 22nd was good, more drink consumed, wound up in the casino afterwards, less people out this time, home before closing time of the bar, so no need to continue on to the later licensed casino. Less drink consumed, will be fine in the morrow.

Had a lift home from one of the boys who only had 1 pint. No, 3 rums I had. Anyway... He's a really good friend. I wish I had more time free at the same time as him, because I would love to do all the stuff he does.

Hmmm... I think I might plan a Sunday trip paintballing for anyone who might be interested. That could be rather fun. Should research etc.

I also need to figure out all the time off I need!

Kathryn got me a ticket for a dance thing which should be quite fun, and I don't mind going on my own. If I can convince someone else to go to that would be amazing, but if not that's ok.

I would also like to go to a dance workshop by my favourite dance teacher.

Then there's my niece's first birthday, would like to go home for that.

My friend's birthday in a couple of weeks, need to work the day shift for that so I can go out and celebrate.

My friend coming to visit maybe the first week in July.

My best friend's graduation... have to be free for that.

My friend's wedding, will need the time off for that... plus the money to pay for it!

Arghness... There's quite a lot of things in the next few months. Need to choose a good time to bring this up to the roster manager... Make sure it's ok and just load all the dates on her, once I get them!

So that's a to do list for tomorrow, getting dates, need the dates Caz needs me off for in July, for her grad, and I've got a funny feeling they might co-incide with the dates that other Caroline gave me for a possible visit, though I think I might ask about during the festival, she could visit and I could do plenty with her early in the week, not miss too much work. Will have to figure this out!

Then there's a possible trip to oktoberfest with the girls I met in Peru, but that's very up in the air because of something I found out today...

One of my dream (for a while) jobs... air hostess. One of the girls has a job doing that! Base in Heathrow which is not really where I want to be right now, and it's likely that her degree in french and spanish helped land her the position (actually, no pun intended) but oh. em. gee. I am SO jealous it's unbelievable. I've been looking out for those jobs, and I got a bit lax, and I miss out on the advertisement or anything! Arghness.

Mummy's right. Set aside a time each week, an hour or a couple of half hour slots where I troll for jobs, I do nothing but hunt for them, and if I spot any, the rest of the week I can apply for them. Or I can sit on my laurels and do nothing.

What I think I need to do is set aside an hour on either a Monday or a Tuesday, depending on when I'm working (I might wind up on a split, but it's unlikely two days in a row.) Then I can focus on the applications for the rest of the week.

I've done one 15 minute french lesson. Didn't today because it was my birthday. I did voice in the pub that I was doing this, trying to see if I have the motivation before paying loads for anything with the OU. We shall see.

I think that's all for tonight. Tomorrow I am going to get up, I have a job I'm going to look at a bit more and possibly apply for it, I have a phone call to make, and finding out those dates, and I believe that might be it. At some point this week I have to vacuum. It's the one job I'm fairly lax on, but I don't care. I also need to unpack from the weekend, I haven't done that yet.
re: Lets see what happens next...
By Emmamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Apr 05, 2012 06:52 PM
5th April, 1982, Born. 28th August, 2011, Died.

You would have been 30 today Liam. I'm so sorry you never made it, but I'm glad you were around at all.
re: Lets see what happens next...
By Emmamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Apr 07, 2012 07:29 AM
I think I've experienced the joys of household appliances breaking down a bit too much.

The week I moved in: washing machine.
Less than a month later: Oven heating element.
This week: Freezer, which is the most expensive, for me... because of all the food I had in the freezer, which is thankfully not that much because it was needing defrosted, so I was trying to get rid of it & use it up.

Though I need to not express my rage vocally and be more understanding. Since I didn't realise my flatmate was here. Also, need to not jump to conclusions and assume the door was open, when that's not the cause at all.

I don't want to get all the problems fixed then move out, because what if it happens in a new place? Hmmmm.
re: Lets see what happens next...
By Emmamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Apr 12, 2012 07:58 PM
Do I stick with it, or do I give up???

I don't know, what I do know is that I need to get up in the morning and be productive before going to work at 3pm. I'm not sure what it is I still need to do. I need to make a phone call, I need to work on cv stuff. That's the hardest thing, because it's so easy to be distracted when I'm already on the computer.

Do I stick with it? Hmmmmm. Speculative applications possibly??
re: Lets see what happens next...
By Emmamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Apr 23, 2012 05:28 PM
I'm working on my travel blog... Adding in my travels in New Zealand, in Spain, maybe I'll even get round to adding in my first solo adventure, age 11, to Orkney, school ski trips, Germany and my work in France! I've got plenty to be writing about! I'm glad I have diaries from the younger adventures, and I wrote here on DDN about Nz, and parts of France, so it's really just Spain I need to use my memory for, and it was only last summer, so I'm guessing I should be fine!

I have an evaluation at work on Wednesday. The new GM is speaking to everyone. He said something weird to me on Saturday, about how one of the other girls or I should have been doing something that usually either management or supervisors do. Now the girl he referred to is a supervisor, I'm not. Interesting...

Here's another interesting thing: Supervisors wage rate was set when they opened in March 2010. Minimum wage has gone up a bit since then. It's currently at £6.08 per hour. In October it will go up to £6.19 per hour. Supervisors are on £6.20 per hour. They do more work than the general staff. Have more responsibilities.

If I'm offered a promotion, I'll be staying there til October, then moving on to pastures greener if the supervisor wage rate doesn't go up with minimum. If I can find something that reflects my experience. I guess we shall see!
re: Lets see what happens next...
By Emmamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed May 02, 2012 07:23 PM
Edited by Emma (114649) on 2012-05-02 19:24:45
A week and two days... How interesting.

Wednesday was my review. Turns out I was wrong, the new GM wasn't speaking to everyone. Just the supervisors. And me. I was the only non-supervisor he spoke to. Interesting.

He spoke about how he arrived and wanted to see how it was run, then how he wanted to improve things, help the place grow. I work for an award-winning Scottish "leisure operator" (ie, lots of various places, gay bars, hotels, restaurants, etc.) and in their flagship venue in Edinburgh. He said that he was speaking to the strong members of staff, and he wanted to share the success of the business with the strong members of staff who contributed to it.

Basically, he was saying he wanted to give me a promotion, but he wanted me to prove that I wanted it by working hard and contributing to the success of the place. Which is fine. He was very nice, he really likes me, so it was a very good meeting.

Friday I went to extravadanza, (charity dance event) and had sample classes of lindy hop, contemporary, and salsa, all of which were good classes, so I'm thinking of continuing those if I can, because I got the details of the various teachers and their classes at the event.

I worked over the weekend, I went out on Monday night with people from work, was a really good night. Club closed, a couple of the chefs wanted to keep partying, so they invited some of us back to theirs for wine, and we stayed up until 5ish, one of the girls and I fell asleep on their sofa bed. When we woke up, I had a text message asking if I could go out Wednesday night, but my wednesday shift was a 12-10, and I wanted to swap a similar length of shift to that one, so I could go out and not miss out on loads and loads of hours. The girl who I shared the sofa bed with was working that day 12-11, so I asked her if we could swap, then because it was so last minute, we both went into work to ask if it was ok to swap, and I then got ready for work.

Everything worked perfectly on Tuesday.

I swapped into a shift that I wanted, which meant I wasn't around to answer my phone, when I had a call from my mum and a random number, and a voicemail.

Just after 5pm, I nipped downstairs to grab the yum yum I bought in greggs before shift, and check if I'd had a text back from the friend who I had swapped for. Noticed ALL the missed calls, because voicemail calls and calls and calls again.

Listened to someone tell me he'd found my cv online and had a position I might be interested in, and I filled all the criteria. Woah. Glad I didn't receive that call cold. Excellent. Glad I was in work.

Went back upstairs, funny mood, because obviously it was good news, but not sure if it was, because had little info, and couldn't tell anyone. Hadn't yet taken my break, was putting it off as long as possible because of the 6 measured drinks and then the wine the night before. Not loads, but enough for me.

Took my break at 7.20, phoned mum back on my way to supermarket, told her news about job, but she didn't seem overly enthusiastic at all. Didn't want to tell her on work premises, so hard to hear on street. Then heard news about brother-in-law's sister... 42 and has cancer in multiple organs. She is my niece's other godmother. Devastating news for people that I care about, though I'm not super close to her, the fact that it will negatively impact so many peoples' lives who I care about is horrible.

Back to work, manager said "remember that customer with the drinks and 'barman x'? They left you a really good review on tripadvisor, it's great, I'm going to tell [new GM]!"

Good, bad, good, bad, what?!?!

I remember the customers, they were a lovely couple. Story: Spoiler: Show
They wanted cocktails and I said we weren't really a cocktail bar, but I'd ask the bar staff if they knew any... So I went to barman x, and he said no. point blank. I went back and said that they didn't know any cocktails but if they wanted to think of something simple we would make it up for them. Then we had a bit of chat about various options, and he said he wanted something sweet, she tried to convince him on just coffee, I recommended limoncello, she said yes, he said yes, AND
could they have frangelico and chambord mixed.

So I went to the waiters' station till, put through two of each limoncello, frangelico and chambord, then I remarked:
"fran + cham
just like that, so it would print off behind the bar properly for them to make. Then I went about my business, checking other tables, etc. Only, the check didn't print, so I went to barman x, opened the table number, showed him what was on the till for them, requested the drinks, explained limoncello, and the other two mixed.

Then I went to the customers, explained the system and the printer malfunction. Said it wouldn't be much longer. I again went about my business. Then went over to the bar again, saw two drinks, not four, asked where limoncello was, he pointed at the two drinks in his mumbly way.

I opened table 11 again and said, no.... just those two together, the limoncello separately, and again I left the table's bill open on that till for his reference, there was obviously 6 shots there, and I explained it. Anyway, I went off to other tables, and came back... to one double limoncello and one fran+cham. Yes, he got it wrong a second time. So I, yet again, opened the table on the till (I'm not sure why it had been closed tbh!) and said no, it was obvious what they were, and I'd explained them, but he told me that I'd just pointed at the till. (Which I hadn't, I'd explained, but maybe he'd prefer if I mumbled, like him.) Then he took a 12 year old girl-like hissy fit and disappeared off the bar through the door into back of house.

So I made the drinks, trying to keep my face impassive, as the table actually faced the bar and the customer could see it all going on!

When I brought them over, I apologised profusely at the wait, but obviously didn't say anything more about why they had to wait for so so so long. I wouldn't have no matter where they were sitting, but they'd seen the whole thing.
They said (I kid you not) "No, it's ok, we saw YOU getting it right in the end." (emphasis on the you.)

Then I related the whole story to the manager on duty because I was afraid that barman x would complain about me, when I knew that I was not in any way wrong, and I had done everything I could to ensure that the drinks were made correctly and according to the customer's order. Also, when I told her, I remained completely impassive, and listed facts only, didn't mention how unprofessional I thought he was, or anything, I just told her what I did, and what drinks he made, and when he walked away.

So for her to recognise from the review which customer it was, and for them to give me such a glowing review, I was very very pleased, but obviously with the news I'd just heard, I wasn't super pleased right then.

The review
The place is just across the Hilton in Princes street. We were served by a friendly floor staff called Emma. She made us feel welcome and was very attentive.

The place has a lot of atmosphere and brings in local talent to perform. Some of the talent are really good.

We settled down with some white wine, bread and ordered starters. I had the Mussels in Chorizo sauce which was delicious!. I had the carbonara, which was tasty but a little greasy.

Emma helped us out with some after dinner aperitifs. The [restaurant] has a great bar, but not very knowledgeable bar staff. The bar staff looked confused and out of his depth. We were poised to get something completely different to what we ordered and it was Emma's attention to detail and initiative in taking over from behind the bar that got us exactly what we wanted.

Overall, I enjoyed my visit and would probably return. However, the place can do with some experienced bar staff to make use of an impressive looking bar.

So that was yesterday, (and a day a few weeks ago)

Today, I got up, so so so glad that I wasn't working today, and phoned the missed call back from the potential job.

Turns out the company is an excellent one, I'm really excited about being put forward for the job, and I hope I get through to receiving an interview. I interviewed for them once before, about this time last year, but I was so nervous because I really wanted the job, so I didn't get very far. I'm much more confident this time, particularly with all the boosts I've been getting from work at the minute. The prospects seem amazing, and I'm very hopeful.

So, that's a very full post, but most of the information from only yesterday and the day before, I really couldn't have broken that down much. Life has a lot of ups and downs, and I think I shouldn't feel guilty for having an up while someone close to me has a down, though I do.

I'm scared to phone my sister because I don't want to burden her with anything more with her mad workload at the minute because of the kind of job she has, and having an almost 1 year old getting into everything and not understanding why mummy and daddy are suddenly dragging her all the way to the hospital every night and the sudden change in mood. She's just got so much on, and I'd feel guilty telling her that my life's seemingly going swimmingly. Yet I know she needs some good news.

It's just timing the call. I can't wake her, I don't know Lucy's bedtime, I know they're spending a lot of time at the hospital, and I'm working every night this week so I have limited time-windows within which to call.

So many conflicting emotions.
re: Lets see what happens next...
By Emmamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu May 03, 2012 03:46 AM
Edited by Emma (114649) on 2012-05-03 04:42:58! Telephone interview in less than an hour. My recruitment consultant phoned and woke me at 10am.

edit: Doubting myself!!!! I think it went ok. I hope.
re: Lets see what happens next...
By Chaconnemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu May 03, 2012 08:10 AM
If someone in your company doesn't pick up on that excellent and unsolicited review, they are blithering idiots. You saved the day for the reviewers and redeemed the company in their eyes and you did it single handedly. If someone took that much effort to praise you, you must have wowed them.

Never doubt yourself, Emma...if you can solicit that sort of reaction from a customer who could otherwise have written a trash review, you have something really going for you.

re: Lets see what happens next...
By Emmamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri May 04, 2012 05:14 PM
Thanks Jon!

I left work tonight through the staff exit and stopped to chat to one of the doorwomen, then the General Manager came through the door. He asked if I'd seen the review on tripadvisor, and he said that that sort of thing made him very very happy. Then he said he was promoting me to his job, which obviously he was joking about, because there's quite a few steps between my job and his. Anyway, I think it's pretty much a certainty that I'm offered one in the next few weeks, to supervisor, not GM.... Though I'm glad he's so pleased.

Which made me feel even worse about this other possible job.

I'm scared about it. What if I'm terrible?

What if I don't even get it? Are my phone interview skills really that bad? Is my phone manner that awful? What can I do to improve?? Arghness. I just don't know. I don't think I'll be too cut up about it if I don't get it this time, because I am so happy where I am at the minute because I'm an asset to the company and they're aware of it, so they will be rewarding me soon.

I actually really really want an internal promotion because I know how good that looks on your cv, but I also know that I have to do what's right for me, and that's taking this job if I get through the interview process and am offered a job.

I do plan on staying on part time in my current place of work though. With a 3 month probation period, I don't want to be completely terrible and wind up with no job, particularly as that will have me at the end of August, when nowhere actually is hiring waiting staff because they've had so many over the festival and don't need anyone. Then part of me is wondering if staying on part time would be detrimental to doing a good job in the new one.

Of course, I shouldn't really worry about any of this, until it actually is realised.

That said, I really hope that it is, because my interview skills aren't that bad, are they???

Anyway, speaking of the review, which I'm re-reading, and also basing this on a conversation I had with another member of floor staff tonight, who mentioned that barman x actually knows quite a lot about cocktails, I'm considering suggesting to the GM that they come up with a cocktail menu, and a whisky menu with taste notes, and a general drinks list with prices, because it would be incredibly useful for floor staff to have, and would also possibly increase revenue. We shall see!

Tomorrow I'm working at 3pm. I'm waiting until Monday to hear back about the phone interview, no news today, so I'm not sure what that means. I think I'll phone my sister tomorrow.
re: Lets see what happens next...
By Emmamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Jun 02, 2012 05:28 PM
So I didn't actually reply on here that I got mixed feedback back... Didn't get through the phone interview, because I was too formal, but because the recruitment agent had spoken to me already, he knew that I wasn't all that formal and was capable of being more "normal" so he sprung for me, and they were maybe going to interview me in a months time, so I emailed recently, which was 3 weeks, and hopefully should hear back soon.

The same day I heard that I heard that my brother in law's sister had been diagnosed with cancer, in multiple organs, and in the past month she's been given worse and worse news, from "inoperable", to "not strong enough for chemo".

So that's two big pieces of news, and that's all I'm leaving with for now.
re: Lets see what happens next...
By Puss_in_Bootsmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Jun 04, 2012 11:14 PM
re: Lets see what happens next...
By Emmamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Jun 23, 2012 03:47 AM
I still haven't heard from the other job.

I got a promotion to restaurant supervisor.

My sister's sister-in-law passed away.

So did two other distant relatives, one before, one after.

My best friend is graduating with a first class honours degree on the 6th of August.

My parents are coming to visit that weekend.

I'm going to Oktoberfest in October.

I'm going to a friend's wedding at the end of September.

It was partly my own stupidity and shyness that made me clash and double book those times, but I've fixed it, relatively inexpensively. Friends are everything. Always.

Now I just need to figure out if my budget works... If I really am having to spend that much!

I should be asleep, but I'm wide awake, I'm trying to make myself sleepy by having my screen too dim, but it's not working. It's probably just bad for my eyes.

It's horrifically rainy.

I would like to work on the love life, but that's really hard! I can't figure out if anyone likes me. It's poo.

I'm working on my travel blog, it makes me very happy.

I wish work wasn't so competitive, but I think that's because it's such a big place.

I burnt my pillow the other week. Right after I bought a new duvet, but I don't have the duvet on my bed yet.

I'm going to a friend's baby shower tomorrow. I've never been to one before, I thought they were an American thing.

I need to buy myself a dunlopillo, but I can't figure out which one's the best one to get, since I'm buying from Ebay. I'll have to ask mum I think.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for next in my life. I need to get a better social life, make a proper effort with doing things that I enjoy that aren't just going to the pub. Maybe I should properly learn to climb or something. Might be expensive, but would also be rather fun. I think I'm just searching for hobbies where I'm likely to find a man! :P

I'm going to try to sleep now. Soon.

I've been watching grey's anatomy online, but I'm onto season 8, and I don't want it to end, so I've slowed down now, instead of four in one day, it's one every four days. I have been getting nostalgic with sabrina the teenage witch though.
re: Lets see what happens next...
By Puss_in_Bootsmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Jun 25, 2012 02:40 AM
Congratulations on the promotion, sorry about your relatives, definitely ask your mum about the pillows (Mum bought mine) and hope you sleep well!
re: Lets see what happens next...
By Emmamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:48 PM
Brilliant reply. Thanks.

By the way... Been totally lax on anything online lately, except for the me-time watching tv shows... What's this about interview stage?!?!
re: Lets see what happens next...
By Emmamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Jul 28, 2012 11:37 PM
I have to be excited somewhere!!! I'm going home tomorrow for four days to surprise my mummy and daddy.... It's daddy's birthday on Tuesday!
re: Lets see what happens next...
By Emmamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Aug 11, 2012 10:04 AM
I have a lot to update, but I have to get to work. Why does work get in the way of life so much?!?! I really need to get myself a job that I can work more around my social life, and not the other way round, I hate having to plan way in advance simple nights out with my friends.

Speaking of work, that's something I have to update about, but not now.

Also Edinburgh festival times, family, and home life. Not love life, that's as non-existent as ever!
re: Lets see what happens next...
By Emmamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Aug 20, 2012 11:50 AM
Caroline's Graduation weekend: Fun, but wet. Saw the Royal Yacht Britannia, wasn't as decadent as I expected, was really interesting. I love the Royals. Parents agreed to buy me a pair of hunter wellies. I bought them online, duck egg blue, only £35!!!

The whole "friends are everything"? Thing that I wrote about regarding the oktoberfest/wedding clash?? Well... seems my friends don't think the same. Not sure if we're going now or not. They didn't seem to think it was necessary to be organised enough to book things in advance, so now prices are hiked to a ridiculous amount! Gutted.

The baby shower was good, pity another friend wasn't there. She was in a really bad bus accident, cut from the wreckage. Airlifted from near Inverness to Glasgow, because she needed to get to that hospital. Thankfully she's very on the mend.

I bought my dunlopillo, not sure if it's real or a fake, but it's comfy, and it was cheap, so that's all that matters for now. I'll find out in a few years if it's real or fake, and if it turns out to be a fake, I'll have learnt that it is true... I'm too poor to buy cheap, and next time buy a proper pillow in a proper shop.

I finished watching Grey's, moved onto Gilmore Girls, shame Grey's is finished, but there's always next season, and I'm not devouring Gilmore Girls in the same way, so it should last a lot longer.

I was in work on Sunday the 22nd of July, when my manager asked if I wanted Monday and Tuesday, or Wednesday and Thursday of the week beginning the 30th off. As I was in the middle of saying it didn't matter, I remembered that I was off on the 29th, so I wound up getting Monday, Tuesday AND Wednesday off, booking the ferry home, and surprising my dad just before his birthday on the 31st. It was a really lovely thing to do. Though I think if I were doing something like that again, I would let everyone else in the family know, because then I would be able to see them all a little bit more.

As for work, it's going ok, since the promotion. Been busy, and hoping that since the GM told the manager who sorts out the rotas that we were no longer to be given so many 12-10 shifts, I'll hopefully have a bit more time to do things for myself.

I applied for a job as a travel advisor in Lima, Peru. I then decided to not complete the application process when a question in the interview made me question why I wanted the job. So I told them as much, and am happy in my decision.

I always seem to regret the decisions I've made with regards to work, this is the first time I've ever made a decision to stay. I mean, sometimes I've applied for things and they haven't worked out, and I've regretted that because it was a decision I made in the application process that led me to not getting the job. (That's what happened with the last application I was referring to.) Anyway, I realised in January, when a few people I worked with left, that when I leave a job, I tend to leave the country also. That's a bit extreme, but I've always left to leave the country. The next time I leave a job, I want it to be because I've had an offer of a better job in the same place. Or at least the same body of land, more or less.

I have definitely made the right decision.

Edinburgh festival times have been fun. Going to see a show called Flash Mob on Sunday, it's got the runner up from our first season of sytycd, and some other tv dance show peoples, so I'm really looking forward to it.

Home life, my french flatmate is moving out. I'm really hoping that someone with an excellent command of the English language moves in, because I just want to be able to chat to my flatmates when I get home. It's so stilted at the minute, and I like my Italian flatmate a lot, I just sometimes wish that when I get home from work, she isn't entertaining another foreigner who doesn't speak much English. The last thing I want to do when I get in from work is have to do more work to talk to someone who's here to eemprove their inglish. I realise that makes me sound like a mean and horrible and possibly slightly intolerant person, but I'm honestly not. Ok, maybe a little, but it's just that I work 10, 11, and 12 hour days, and when I get in, I want to watch some mindless tv and chat to any flatmates that might be around. The thought of another person who struggles to understand me and I have to put extra effort in to slow down my speech and enunciate, it feels like I'm back teaching English! Home is for home, and work is for work, and sometimes she makes home like work, and that sucks.

I had a friend round today to help me build a set of bookshelves I bought. I like him a lot. I don't think he feels the same. But never mind.
re: Lets see what happens next...
By Emmamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Sep 03, 2012 01:24 PM
Recently, work hasn't been going great. I've been feeling like everyone is apathetic, and with that, I am less motivated.

I remember worrying, before I was made supervisor, that I new that the shifts where I worked with people who were motivated, motivated me, and the shifts where I worked with people who weren't. Made me go in both directions, depending on my mood of the day.

I had a very odd dream last night.

Spoiler: Show
I dreamt I was with my sister. We had a really nice dockside apartment, in like a new development type place. It was in an undetermined location, though sunny, which leads me to believe it was in another country. Our beds were side by side, and we had huge glass windows that showed they were right next to the beautifully clear water.

We were walking along the promenade, or decking, and on the opposite shore, as though graffiti, we saw lots of tripadvisor comments made about my current place of work, with the most recent one being directly below my work premises and painted in the same shade of turquoise that my work was. (Which is odd, as I work in a stone building!)

We met some people, in the distance I knew a co-worker of mine was there, but we never reached her. Someone mentioned the 5 star review, and I kept trying to read it, because I knew it mentioned me, but we were in a rush, and I was walking along trying to read it, but I couldn't focus on the words.

Then we were on bicycles, and racing up a hill in heavy traffic, I kept trying to pass other people, but every time I was about to, we would hit traffic lights and everyone would stop, and block my way. I would then find it really difficult to set off again. I don't know if we didn't finish, or just if I didn't win, but we were then in a bicycle shop, and I was the only one who stayed on my bike. I almost cycled into someone who everyone seemed to be in awe of, but I have no idea who he was. I know he was leading the bike race for most of it.

At some point in the dream, I think it was around the time of the bike shop, I know that someone had caught a snake, then there were 4 or 5, but they weren't afraid of them, at all, it was just me that was. They kept trying to escape, and I remember being very worried that when we did let them go, they would just attack us. I wanted to throw them far away and run the opposite direction, but I knew they would catch up with us. I wanted everyone else to hold them while I got away so I would be safe, but I didn't want to put anyone else in danger. I think, in the end, we let them go down the hill we had cycled up earlier, but it was now deserted.

Later on I was back at my apartment that I shared with my sister, and I couldn't see the tripadvisor graffiti at all anymore, though I know it was only on the opposite shore, I was chilling on my (single) bed, next to my sister in hers, though I had my multi-coloured double bedclothes on the bed. We had a lot of people round, and we were just chatting, relaxing, and it was nice and companionable. Then the third bed that was next to ours, that belonged to a friend that was visiting just floated away.

(All 3 beds were side by side, heads at the same end, and if you were in the bed lying flat on your back, his bed was on the right, mine in the middle, and my sister's on the left.)

After that, I suddenly noticed that mine was in danger. I became worried about my possessions, and I jumped into the warm water and started grabbing the things that had fallen off my bed to set them on the promenade decking we had walked along earlier (?), I remember struggling to gather everything, but once I had, and it was definitely safe, I got back onto my bed, and noticed that the water level was up to the bottom of my mattress and all my bedclothes were getting wet. I was worried about them saturating up and me being cold in my sleep. (I woke up a lot in my sleep last night being too warm.) I eventually figured out that I needed some help with my bed when it began to properly float away like my possessions and I got it onto safer ground where it was completely dry.

A while later, my sister and I were walking along the promenade, on our way to work, and she was wearing jeans and a t shirt. As we walked out the door, she turned back and made a phone call, but I didn't notice until I turned around, and as she hung up the phone, she looked annoyed that she had just found out that supervisors didn't have to wear anything different and she was going to be very embarrassed because she was wearing an old purple shirt she had from a previous job with supervisor embroidered on the lapel, but she didn't have time to get changed or we were going to be late. What was odd was that I recognised the shirt as being the same colours as the one some of the waiting staff wore when I worked in France.

I think I awoke before we made it as far as work.

I was recently asked, by my boss, if I would be interested in moving into a sales and events administrative role because the girl who does that is possibly moving into a sales and events co-ordinater role, for Christmas. So while I've been feeling a little pants about not fulfilling my potential with what I'm at, I may finally be starting to move in the right direction.

I have looked at some of the themes and interpretations of my dream on dreammoods, but I posted the exact same description there on the forum in the hope that I can have some help with it.

I think it has to do with me feeling like I'm making a change, and I'm not sure about it, I'm scared, and I'm indecisive. I'm going to wait and see what other people think of it and get back here. Right now though, it's over and out.
re: Lets see what happens next...
By Emmamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Sep 04, 2012 12:40 AM . . .

That's a link to the forum post on dreammoods about that dream. . . .

That's a link to my announcement on the work/employment board here.

Anyway, that's all for right now. Lets see how this all pans out.
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