So I'm almost done on the aviation application. I so so want this job!!!

I had to phone the inland revenue because I have to provide a complete employment history for the past 5 years and I've lost my diaries for a couple of those years, so I need to be reminded of the companies I've worked for.

They had to post them out to me, and they're via second class post, so hopefully I'll get something on Monday, possibly Tuesday. Then it's very quickly work on getting the whole thing finished and sent off!!!

I worked a lot of promotional jobs for one or two days for lots of companies, which is why I can't remember my full employment history. It's a bit annoying, but no matter, hopefully will all be worth it! Glad that someone gave me the idea to phone the inland revenue, I would never have thought of that until it was too late probably.

Ok, so that's really all. I'm working in just over 2 hours, and I need to cook dinner, but mum bought me a marks and spencer ready meal, so I'm looking forward to that, to not having to cook!

Tomorrow I'll probably not do much on the aviation application, but will spend a little time on a few others I've found, and do a few other applications.

ETA: Just applied for another job I found, as customer service team lead with a big company. We shall see!!!

Ok, I'm not very motivated lately. Well, I actually am, but I'm sort of on a go slow today and it's annoying me. I'm going to write my to do list now.

To do.

1. Finish aviation application (after checking post.)
2. Curse (flip sake) after checking post and discovering that postman is very lazy and not bothered to do our rural road today. (Stupid 2nd class post.)
3. Organise feet fish for me and the besty next week.
4. Write card to post to her for no reason. - Or, put off until after next week.
5. Finish tidying crap in room, and put everything away.
6. Finish forms for solicitor and post.
7. Find out dates that co-worker will be gone from work, and plan to leave after that.
8. Bring caricature to be photocopied at good quality & take both for framing. (Or just buy frame.)
9. Edit photos in downtime to print lovely travel photos for cheaper than all individually.

I think that's quite enough. I've done number two already, so that's something!!! I feel an explanation is needed for that though. I need to provide a full 5 year history, including all part time jobs while in full time education, no matter how short I was there. I did lots of promo work with lots of different companies and I don't remember the half of them, so I had to phone in the inland revenue, and they can't give that information out on the phone so I'm waiting for the post to get here. It's not cutting it rather fine because they don't post first class. The postman doesn't come down our road if there's not enough post sometimes. Not often, but he would have to choose today to not come down. Unless he's ridiculously late!!! Very frustrated by the whole thing. Cursing my lateness at realising to phone inland revenue also.

So, I'm going to go for a pee, then I'm going to do number 5, then 6. Ignoring number 9, these should all be able to be completed before the end of this week, so I'm going to prove to myself that I can do that! Will be back tomorrow when I can cross some off, or sooner...

To do.

1. Finish aviation application (after checking post.)
2. Curse (flip sake) after checking post and discovering that postman is very lazy and not bothered to do our rural road today. (Stupid 2nd class post.)
3. Organise feet fish for me and the besty next week.
4. Write card to post to her for no reason. - Or, put off until after next week.
5. Finish tidying crap in room, and put everything away.
6. Finish forms for solicitor and post.
7. Find out dates that co-worker will be gone from work, and plan to leave after that.
8. Bring caricature to be photocopied at good quality & take both for framing. (Or just buy frame.)
9. Edit photos in downtime to print lovely travel photos for cheaper than all individually.

To Do. (new)

1. Finish aviation application (after posting this.)
2. Write card to post to besty for no reason.
3. Finish forms for solicitor and post.
4. Bring caricature to be photocopied at good quality & take both for framing. (Or just buy frame.)
5. Edit photos in downtime to print lovely travel photos for cheaper than all individually.

Done today.
1. Got up ridiculously late and took care of various hygiene tasks. (Ridiculously late = 1pm)
2. Spoke to boss about when I was planning on leaving (I checked dates when I was in work yesterday) when brother went to work at 2pm and brought me down to pick up my car that mum had driven to get her lift that morning.
3. Went to town to re-do that bank transfer that I forgot to put on my to do list, but remembered to do it anyway.
4. Went to small village just outside of town to organise feet fish there, turns out she sends them back after summer because the people of my town let their feet go to crap in winter... no wonder old women get blades to their feet. Grossness, just because it's winter! (Though I do let my legs get a bit hairy, I hate having hard feet.)
5. Came home and checked post, and cursed quite a lot, and tried to kick door of car open so hard that it almost broke leg. So kicked it again, for good measure.
6. Came to computer and due to frustration and impatience, computer took hissy fit also, and while it was making noise as though it was on, would not turn on properly.
7. Read two chapters of book to calm self.
8. Finally got computer turned on after peeing.
9. Phoned inland revenue again (had to get their number of of online.) and while on phone to nice welsh man, phoned mum on mobile to ask if she would be in school to accept fax, then told nice man she would and gave him fax number. I told him to mark it for the attention of Mum'sFirstName OurLastName. And he marked it to Mrs Mum'sFirstName OurLastName, how very proper of him to remember a title.
10. Phoned Royal Mail to complain about no one coming to deliver post just because we live in quite a rural area. 2nd class has a delivery aim of 3 days, my hmrc post was posted on Thursday, so really me expecting it on day 4 was not unrealistic. Will most likely get post tomorrow.
11. Made yummy dinner of salad with rocket, spinach and lettuce, toasted pine nuts, chicken, red, yellow and orange peppers, avocado, cucumber, and a honey and mustard salad dressing. Was rather delicious. Pity I was too lazy to go to the greenhouse to get tomatoes.
12. Went to work for 6pm. Yes, that's right, I did all that, from point 2 to point 12, in four hours. Accomplished? Yes.

Now to get on with point 1 of the to do list...

ETA: Have finished application, am going to check post tomorrow, just to make sure that different hmrc guy who wasn't as rushed as nice gent today, though I'm sure he did do it quite rushed too... has not added anything I may have forgotten, then I'm going to submit.

Right next to the deadline too... Cutting it fine, as always, but hopefully that won't be a mark against me, for I was all ready (pretty much) last Thursday, or earlier, maybe even this time last week, I just had to remember the promo companies, and phoning the inland revenue was an excellent idea, it was just frustrating that it took so long to actually get information from them.

Post came, but that didn't come. Either he forgot to post it, or Royal Mail Royally screwed up with their delivery aims.

Made blueberry muffins.

Am waiting for Kathryn to text back her house number for my character reference.

Then going to push on with number 3.

Royal Mail is awful. I got screwed by them soooo many times. One time they actually delivered a package that required a signature to another person who lived in my block of flats (no idea who). The signature looked nothing like my name, but they handed over the package anyway. When I called them up to yell about it they pretty much just said, "Oh, that sucks."

What kind of aviation job is it? Is it a flight attendant? Because that sort of sounds right up your alley...

It is indeed!!! I really hope I get an interview. The application is the hardest bit to get past, once you actually meet them, I think the whole thing gets a lot easier...

ETA: Got fed up waiting, rationalised that if everything else had been ready, I would have submitted, so I've submitted and can correct it at a later date if I need to. They don't look up references initially anyway.

To Do.

1. Write card to post to besty for no reason.
2. Finish forms for solicitor and post.
3. Bring caricature to be photocopied at good quality & take both for framing. (Or just buy frame.)
4. Edit photos in downtime to print lovely travel photos for cheaper than all individually.

So eh, needless to say, haven't got round to those forms yet. Oops.

However, in 2 weeks, and 4 days, I will be back in Edinburgh looking for work etc! Yay!!!!

It's kind of frustrating that the family seem stuck on the idea that I want to travel and keep telling me all sorts of jobs I could do. Yes, I want to travel, but no, I don't want to travel with work. I want to work, and then pay for travel. Then every so often, once they get it through their skulls that I am saying I'd rather not look for a job where I have to travel to work, they suggest jobs here. Really?!?!

I mean, I know it's nice being close to family, but my social life consists of:
Mum, dad, Nuala, Eoin and Tom. Eoin lives in Dublin and Tom in Liverpool....

Sometimes Nuala's friends.

My friend from dancing when I was younger. She teaches dance here now, but our schedules don't often match up. I do see her fairly regularly, maybe once every couple of weeks. She has a pile of other friends, and when I go out with her, I kind of feel like I'm piggybacking on her friends. Plus, most of our socialising is to the cinema, so yeah.

A few friends from my old work, one of whom I love having as a friend, she's a great person. She does drain me somewhat though. Sometimes. And a guy who went out with a friend who came to visit me from Edinburgh, she treated him like crap, apparently he treated her like crap, and even though I've known her longer, I'm more likely to not believe that one. So that's made it weird and awkward between us, I last saw him in like, November.

And eh, yeah, that's it. I don't gots friends here. Except my bestie, but she mostly lives in Edinburgh. She's home this weekend for 4 days, so we get to spend a bit of time together, lovely. (Yeah, I moved there, she moved there, I moved away, now I'm going back!)

When I go to Edinburgh, I'm staying with her, helping her through a little bit of a tough patch on the 25th and the few days afterwards. She's fit though, so it shouldn't be too bad! I can cook for her, so I'm looking forward to all that jazz.

And hopefully I can catch up with lots of peoples once I'm there.... Get myself talking to them all again, and maybe seeing everyone once every month or few months. It's really annoying that the family keep telling me that when I go back, it won't be the same, all my friends will have moved on, I'll not see them as often as when I was there before. I keep replying with things like "Yes, I'm aware of that, I did work there for a year and a half after uni, and we saw each other fairly infrequently." I don't think they realise that it's mostly the independence I'm after again, but in a city I know, with friends I can see every so often, but have nights in where I'm not being "asked" to go do some chore or other. (I do help around the house, it's just annoying that it has to be on their terms, at times that suits them, and never when it suits me.

Anyway, can't wait to move, more peoples, but actually, possibly less socialising. I only go out so much here because staying here is suffocating and reminds me that I need to move on with my life instead of being stuck as a teenager. (seemingly)

Further to my post in the vcdt, I wanted to add that at dinner today (not Friday) we were talking about the next time we would likely be together, and when Eoin would next be up (that's the older brother, Barrister in Dublin) and Tom (younger brother, studying Civil Engineering in Liverpool) contradicted mum and said that I would likely be home before Christmas.

I'm not sure he's saying it because he truly doesn't have faith in me, or if he's saying it to rile me, or if he's saying it to both rile me and therefore motivate me. Like he knows I need it to get somewhere.

I really hope it's not the first, I'd prefer it was the second over the first, but somehow I think he really does believe it's that he thinks I'm too comfortable here and don't want to go back to paying for myself. I hate that. I can't be that. I won't be home til Christmas. And will most likely book the boat home and back, so I can transport more stuff that I need for living there.

I think I definitely will get myself settled there. I just need to get up and out every day.

I know it would be much more useful if I had my own printer, but if I can find a friend who has one then it will be a lot cheaper than using net cafes. They're such time drains.

As is ddn sometimes. Though I'm ok at focusing my time now I'm trying to find a job. I just know that I can't come on for five minutes, it doesn't work. I'm on in my downtime only.

What are you planning on doing in Feb? Hypothetically, of course.

Btw totally hear you on the family woes. I can't believe how much better my relationship with my mother is now that I'm living 30 hours away. Not that I necessarily want to be quite THAT far away, but being out of there is so much less frustrating! I hope everything works out for you in Edinburgh... would love to see you there.

Hypothetically, I will be in Edinburgh, working. Who knows what at?!?! Watch this space.... When would you be likely booking tickets??

ETA: Might be a good idea to edit rather than write new post? Yes?!

Old dance teacher has asked if I want to go out with her for her birthday on the 22nd... Not sure, I mean, it's nice to be invited and all, and I've gone out for drinks with her before, but I think it's best to give it a miss, because I'll most likely only know her and Kerry. Hmmmmm, leave it for a bit. Can't wait to get back to dancing though!

Yesterday was a great wee day too. Good craic.

Got our feet done by garra rufa fish. Weird as all get out! Tickly, very tickly. Then bought some Thorntons for the journey, then headed to Belfast, and met Caz's friend (G) who's on placement there til December, saw his very very very disgusting flat (he's clean, but he moved in with a slobby flatmate who he met for 5 minutes, but was desperate and said yes even though it was disgusting) and we went out for dinner. Beat the clock... Time we ordered was the price we paid, and we ordered at 6pm, so we only paid £6!!!! Class!!!

When we got back, we met the flatmate, it was everyone's first time properly meeting him, because G had moved in Friday then had to go away for weekend. We chatted, realised he was a bit strange, but dealable with for the short time that G has to deal with him for. Then we were going out to meet another friend of Caz's from school, and of course the polite thing to do is to invite the flatmate out too, but he didn't realise that the polite thing to do was to say no... Off we went to Filthy McNasty's, turns out there was a wake in the front of the pub, so we had to go out to the beer garden at the back that was recently opened, called the secret garden, it was very very cute. Still didn't help with the awkward conversation, and even further awkward conversation when a co-worker of his turned up for a quiet drink with her bf, before realising who she was bumping into, and then when we left, he didn't get that she was out on a semi date, and he gatecrashed that too (because we were going home!) Yeah. It's alright though, at least we got to chat a bit as we left, then I drove home at a very laxidaisical pace and chatted to Tom about my day while he told me about his emergency trip to the dentist, and we went to bed.

All that on the first day of my period?!!? Well done Emma!

In other news, I am leaving in 2 weeks!!!!! Two!!!!11!!one!1!!1!!!1!!! So I'm very much looking forward to it, and tomorrow will most likely start figuring out recruitment agencies that will be good places to visit when I'm there, and phone (rather than email) to set up appointments to discuss what kind of work I'm looking for, bring in a cv, meet them etc. Lots of half job interviews. We shall see how it goes.

Also, have found out that Caroline has a printer, so I am very lucky that I can use it and not have to spend ridiculous amounts going to net cafes to print off cvs. Will need to look at my Edinburgh maps to decide the best plan of action for finding interim work while looking for more permanent work. I think my penchant for shopping might make it tough for me, but I shall have to be motivated, and organised, and without my cash cards or much cash... That will most likely be the only thing that will stop me!

Finally, am very much looking forward to the date with the boy, who definitely wants more than just one date, and I really like the whole thing, and the way it's sort of progressed so far. It's also kind of scary because I haven't seen him in so long, so it's not intense, but it's also kind of intense. We shall see how it all pans out. Though I like that he likes me, and that we've chatted a lot about a lot of different things, and yes. Excited, but nervous, which I think is good. Yes.

Well, I think that's really all.

The boy is picking me up from the airport. This is going to be weird... Haven't seen him since uni, but have been chatting a lot a lot lately, and yeah... He mentioned (when I mentioned it was 2 weeks til I got there) that he'd like to kiss me off the plane. Yeah. Weird, but good weird. I think. I hope.

I'm kind of worried though, I mean, what if, after all the chats, all the texts, it turns out to be way too awkward and weird??

I like: my hammock+sudoku+going to Edinburgh in just over a week+Oh My God one week!+Having savings+Working tomorrow, earning moneys+Chocolate, I love chocolate+My butterfly suitcase, it really is beautiful+My family, for their faith in me or lack of, it motivates me+Father Ted, just because+Baking, but not for my skin+Lush+Nice lingerie, really want more of that+Champagne, but not often, wish I had an occasion for it soon+My sister and my niece+My bamboo socks being really warm+Pomegranate+Pictures and presents+Planning Christmas presents+Airports, I love airports+My Tesco vouchers+M&S vouchers for when I move to Edinburgh+My halloween costume+My old flatmate+My laptop+That's all for now.

So. The plan for this week is to look up recruitment agencies, phone and arrange meetings, prepare myself mentally.

The plan for once I get to Edinburgh is to not be consumed by catching up with friends, because hopefully there will be plenty of time for that.

I am planning on, in the first few days, meeting with recruitment agencies, to find temp office work, or more permanent stuff, anywhere. Once I have that out of the way, if I have a timescale of when I'm likely to be able to find full-time employment, or semi-full-time employment (temping but longish term), I can look into looking for full time work in any bar, or restaurant, or shop. We shall see.

I just am really nervous that the same thing is going to happen again as last time.

I was thinking today, about France. I applied for the ski job, in May 2008. When I applied, the plan was to go out, get the office experience, but slightly different office experience, and come back and get an office job, because I would stand out as having done something different. Then the economy went belly up, sort of as I was leaving. Turns out I stood out for the wrong reasons. There were loads with lots of experience, and me with different experience. Employers were looking for solid and reliable, not someone who spent 5 months in a temporary job then left.

Victim of circumstance.

That word sucks. I don't want to use the word victim, because i don't want to get into the negative connotations. It was just bad luck. I am too negative when it comes to finding a job.

When I got back from France, I went back to Scotland, and I didn't have a lot of money, and I gave up too easily and came home, in the hope that I could apply for jobs from home, and travel for interviews. I found a waitressing job, and just got comfortable, after 4 weeks, with a broken wrist, there was no motivation to look for a job because I couldn't go to interview with that! I enjoyed my summer, went back to work, but after spending so much time with my mother after having lived away from home for so long, I needed to get away and booked tickets to a far away place, just to get away, as soon as possible. I probably should have looked closer, and then I could have left sooner, and chosen something more affordable, but I was thinking that taking the chance when I could to travel was a good idea. I think it was, still. I made some great friends, and I did learn a lot about the world, and sensitive cultural interactions, and about how I don't want to be a traveller. Not really, I want to travel, but I want to have a solid life too. I envied the people I met out there, the Peruvian family I lived with, the people who owned the hostels. They had settled lives, in a place they wanted to be.

To recap that short story (& add a little): Finished uni, didn't know what I wanted, waitressed, found office experience in France, got back from France and couldn't find work because of economy, went home, broke wrist so took time off from looking, constant relying on mother and being broken meant booking far away.

So. Came back from South America. Tried to find a job in Edinburgh again.

This time I had even less money, I was in debt, I stayed with a friend, I found a job, but it was part time. I looked at my finances and realised that I couldn't afford to stay, I would have been able to had I been guaranteed the same hours in the bar, but I knew that once August was out and the festival crowds had dispersed, I'd lose out. So I had to come home. I would have ridden it out for another month or so, to see how it went and look for something better, but I had two jobs at home that if I didn't act now, I wouldn't get.

Maybe now is the time to point out that had I went from France to Edinburgh, not via home, I would have been able to walk back into the waitressing job I left. So... yeah. I knew it was good to act fast. Learnt that one.

So I went back, and took the job in the off license that my brother had, and it kept it open for him to come back at Christmas, and easter, and next summer (which was this) so it was doing him a favour, doing the boss a favour at not having to advertise etc. I also took the job my mum was offering in school. She really wanted me to figure out that I wanted to be a teacher, it convinced me otherwise, though I did have a minor blip where I did apply, but that was more to get her off my back than anything, and also because I was worried I wouldn't find anything, so it was a make do type thing. Plus I did kind of like helping the kids, just not enough to be a good teacher.

This time... I have to be motivated. Focused. I have to be positive. Negativity is bad.

I have to meet with people who will help me find the kind of work that I will be happy to get up in the morning to do. I don't mind if it's slightly monotonous, as long as it will actually lead somewhere.

Anyway, I'm nervous. Is this the third time I've really tried?! Will it be third time lucky?!

Will I just let myself get in the way, and spend too much time with friends, or with a certain boy that may be a little bit of a motivation too?

You know, when I was in Spain, and I was thinking about getting a TEFL qualification and staying out there, I wasn't thinking long term, not really. My heart lies in Edinburgh, it really does.

What scares me is having kids with a Scottish accent! Not sure how I'll cope with that!!!

I just hope that some employer sees me as someone who definitely will be good for them, who won't just bugger off (my employment history shows otherwise, but really, not this time! I promise!) and find something better.

How on earth do I show it??

Oooh.... Also, need to update linkedin profile. Work more on online networking for professional purposes. Hmmmm, life was simpler without the internet, wasn't it? It helps, but it also sort of creates more work sometimes, doesn't it?

Can you miss someone if you've never really spent time with them in that way, just want to, and know that you probably will?? Or is it just the feeling you miss?

A pinch of salt, perhaps, but still an interesting read... www.bbc.co.uk . . .

Must test that one out.

I'm kind of nervous, about everything.

And I feel sorry for the druggie koala babies.

But it's Scotland! Take a few deep breaths and remember, one thing at a time. Even if you have to do like 50 things in a day. You'll be fine!

Edit: Thanks Bec!!! You're right. It's... home, really. I know Northern Ireland will always be home, but Edinburgh's home, in all the emotional senses of the word. (Also the road, but never the destination, can be described as home, because I love discovering new things, but that's a whole other post!) Anyway. Yes, one thing at a time. Excellent thing to remember. Funny how the simple things are the hard things to remember. I just need to get up early enough to do the 50 things in each day!

Nervous about:

1. Finding a job.
Spoiler: Show


2. Finding a place to live.
Spoiler: Show


3. The boy.
Spoiler: Show


Despite all this, I'm optimistic. Nervous, but optimistic. I just hope I can get out of bed early enough each day to tramp the streets to find work and somewhere to live and be motivated. I think I should be motivated. I just sleep too late. Today being a fine example. I slept until midday. Poo.

Still not quite grown up though.

3 days.

I have got to start packing. It's 6pm.

Tomorrow!!!!

Nervousness has multiplied by muchly muchly muchly amounts.

All packed, I think I'm just about 20kgs, but it's not the end of the world if it's a few kilos over, because I can take a couple of things out and stuff them into my hand luggage, or wear them.

Probably going to pack my laptop v v soon, because then I really can say that I'm all packed. I don't like not having everything sitting ready to run out the door, in case I sleep in, though I usually sleep badly the night before a flight if I can't afford to miss it. (I have taken morning flights before where it's been easy to transfer onto the next, but I don't want to be late because I've applied for a job with this company.)

Boy text to say his car is in the garage, so he can't pick me up, but he is still meeting me at the airport. Which is nice, weird, but nice. But then, the whole thing is kind of weird. Anyway.

Nervous about tomorrow, about the flight, about the airport at the other side, about stepping on Caroline's flatmates toes, though I've already planned to be out of there as soon as possible.

Nervous about finding a big girl job, about finding a stop gap job, about finding a flat with decent flatmates and decent rent.

____

I remember these nerves. I had these nerves before Peru. Different basis, same nerves.

Is it all going to be alright??

I'll calm down as soon as I get there. I know that, once I get going. It's this stupid waiting game that I hate. That's why I'm so impulsive, but learning to wait for the right opportunity is a good skill to have, also seizing that opportunity when it comes along.

Anyway. Am going to do some brief internet browsing over ddn, facebook, and other sites, pack my hand luggage, weigh that too. Then set my alarm and shave my legs and possibly watch a little mindless tv to calm my mind.

Then I'm going to bed to start the next phase of my life. Hopefully. Definitely.

Definitely.

I'm so so so excited for you!!! Can't wait to hear your next update. Bon voyage!

So, internets wasn't working properly when I really wanted to update. Would have been overly negative, but I had a bit of a hump on. Better now.

Airport was weird, slightly awkward. Lots of awkward laughing. Nice though. Easy. Hmmmmm, still confused about that one.

Jobhunt is on, but I'm going out for Caz;s flatmate's birthday tonight, so I may sleep in. I hope to only have one drink, and get away with it, and then move on to soft drinks. I'm a bit knackered. Silly cold air and being outside making me way more tired than driving lots.

Anyway, must go, not got a lot of time, just wanted to update a little.

Ok, so... Proper update!!!

Am a bimbo and left my passport in my house when we left to go to the airport. Yeah.... I've done that before, I'm a complete bimbo!!! Nuls was not a happy bunny.

Flight was ridiculously delayed... Was due to leave at 11.20, then changed to 11.55, then 12.25, then 12.35, finally started boarding at 12.30. When we got on the plane, once the doors were closed, the pilot came out and chatted to us. Apologised for the ridiculous delay and warned us that for the next 6 months we should expect those delays because Edinburgh's radar system was running at a reduced capacity, so for safety they were spacing out landings. Ridic. Anyway, then he went on to say that while they've been flying a perfectly servicable aircraft for the morning, when they arrived, they were told to switch to another, perfectly servicable aircraft. Oh, and there's ridiculous turbulance up there today. Yeah. Interesting... Was very rocky, the seatbelt signs didn't turn off at all. Lolness.

So I arrived and got myself sorted, was one of the last off the plane and headed to the toilets, took a few deep breaths, was quite nervous about the boy thing. Then headed out, and am glad that I spotted him first and there wasn't a huge walk between us seeing each other (both knowing the other had seen) and me reaching him. His lips are very soft!!!! Yeah. Anyway.

So that was a bit awkward for a while, a lot of laughter, and he picked up my case, and we headed to get the bus, and got it as far as where his car was, then walked to pick it up, and he drove the rest of the way into town.

Cue more awkwardness when Caroline wasn't at home, but her flatmates were, and she hadn't told them that I was going to be picked up by a boy and I forgot to do the introducing thing, and then I managed to squeeze my bags into the bedroom that is mine for a while. Before kissing him goodbye.

So. First meeting was a little weird, but ok. And I'm settled in to here, but it's still a very temporary feeling. Still kind of nervous, but that's because nothing's really started yet.

Anyway.

That was Tuesday. Wednesday I got up, and I dressed, and I realised I should have brought my mac, would have been a much smarter coat, and I spoke to a few recruitment agencies, and gave them my cv, then I went to Lush to pick up some of the things I needed, and superdrug, to do the same, then got the bus "home".

Realised on Wednesday that I need that coat, and warmer clothes. And that I really need to figure out the best way to format my cv. I wish there was a service that would look at my experience, help me decide what jobs are suitable for me based on what I am good at and what I enjoy and what my interests are. In school it was called careers advice, but I don't remember getting any of that. I'm not even sure we had a meeting. Sucked. Anyway, need to figure that out. One of the receptionists I spoke to gave me some great advice about not putting recruitment advisors off by having an idea of the type of industry I want to work for. So I need to figure that out. I feel like such a failure though. I'm 25 and all I know is that right now, I just want to work in something that gives me evenings and weekends free. Hmmmm.

It was Wednesday I was referring to last night when I said I really wanted to update but it would have been overly negative. In that I wanted to see lots of agencies but only saw 3 and came away from them feeling like it might take quite a while and I'm just going to be a bit arghhed (new word) by the whole thing. Huurrrrggghghghgh. So I need to be more positive and optimistic, and also motivated.

BBC have this show this week, "up for hire" which is pretty interesting. Looks at youth unemployment, so I'm going to really see what I can learn from that. The job market is so awful at the minute.

Anyway, it's coming up to Christmas, so yesterday I went round a few places. I had spoken to a girl in Lush and even though they've hired Christmas staff, they might not work out, and she suggested I drop my cv and a cover letter anyway. So I did. Then we went on, Caz had to go to the train station, and to get retainers for her operation on Tuesday but they're the same price as getting re-pierced, so she decided to not bother, and take the risk of having them out for the day. Then we went up onto the Royal Mile, where there were a few places advertising for staff, so I went up that direction, and found a few places en route that were advertising. We shall see. I handed in 5 cvs, to bars, restaurants and shops.

Then it was Caroline's flatmate's birthday yesterday, so we went out for a few drinks. Met some more friends, one guy who's doing his masters in Architecture and had the cutest lispy thing going on, plus was absolutely beautiful... And he chatted to me for a bit. I think if I was to be asked out by him I would definitely say yes, and do the whole double dating thing for a while, though it would get very confusing. Plus, with the boy, it's weird, because it's like we're close, without having seen each other in ages, and it's fairly obvious from our conversations that we both want a relationship etc. Though the idea of "dating" is kind of nice, keep it cool until you're really sure. It's a very American thing, and I think I should try to have that attitude, even if I don't see anyone else.

Yeah, so that brings my update to today. And I'm seeing the boy tonight, when I mentioned that I'd be on my own he said he'd come keep me company. So that's nice... Unless he has ulterior motives. hmmm.

Monday night Caz's mum arrives, because Caz has an operation on Tuesday, and then she can get better and all will be fabulous!!! I need to get in touch with her to get a few things brought over, I have a small list, and I hope that I can deal with bringing everything back if I do have to admit defeat, but if that's the case, I can take the bus or the train, and the boat, and then I won't need to worry about special packing for air travel. It's the one thing I hate about planes, but it has also forced me to re-evaluate my love of "stuff" so essentially it's a good thing. Anyway. Can't wait for Monday, because I'll have dance class that night... first in ages, and once I see Jo I can find out what other classes she has going on, and look at other classes I can do at that place. Then I can get firm and toned again. Yaywoo! Or yayhoo.. woohoo... Hmm. ahem.

I think I should probably stop now.

I went ice skating tonight. With a boy.

What on earth are feet fish?