Forum: Advice / Girls & Guys PG-13

My boyfriend keeps calling me all the time!
By fLaVa124Premium member
On Fri Nov 12, 2010 06:26 PM
Edited by fLaVa124 (117221) on 2010-11-12 18:28:55
Edited by fLaVa124 (117221) on 2010-11-12 18:33:13

First I will say, that he recently joined the army and got a medical discharge. So he is waiting to come home. But it seems like everyday he calls me like 6 times! I'll tell him I'll call him back after something, and he makes sures to call me first anyways. He doesn't give me any time to get my crap done. And says that I should want to talk to him and that I don't understand what its like over there.

Okay I understand him wanting to talk to me, and I get that he gets bored and is surrounded by guys nonstop.

But this excessive calling is pissing me off. And when I bring it up he claims that hes on military time not my time and that he doesn't call all the time. BUT HE DOES! And when I tell him I have stuff to do he gets mad and says that I could put it off and talk to him for 15 minutes.

Its really becoming annoying, and I've found myself dreading phone calls. There's only so much of Just calling to say what's up I can take! And because of this we keep getting into fights. And because of those fights I've found my eyes wandering because its just become so intolerable since since he's been there.

I really don't know what do :(

3 Replies to My boyfriend keeps calling me all the time!

re: My boyfriend keeps calling me all the time! (karma: 1)
By AlwaysOnStagePremium member
On Fri Nov 12, 2010 07:21 PM
Edited by AlwaysOnStage (90901) on 2010-11-12 19:34:50
Tell him firmly: "I love you, I want to talk to you, but I have to get this done." Which, in my case I would follow it with a "I'm sorry you're bored, but you're a big boy and need to take care of yourself for a little bit while I continue doing things that are necessary in my life."

He needs to hear "You're great, but you're over milking this: you'll be fine without me for a few hours." After that, call him on your terms. If he calls, say "I told you I'd call at 6:00EST, talk to you then. *click*"

Remember: you're not here to be his entertainment. You don't need to be lured into playing that role, you have every right to cast it off.
re: My boyfriend keeps calling me all the time!
By Cienmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Nov 12, 2010 07:27 PM
^Yup. Don't let him convince you that this is a HUGE, make-or-break issue--it's just phone calls. You do understand that he's doing really difficult work, and you do understand that he wants to talk to you, but you still have a life and obligations here, and you have things to get done. There's no shame in that, and he needs to realize that too.
re: My boyfriend keeps calling me all the time! (karma: 3)
By kandykanePremium member
On Fri Nov 12, 2010 09:11 PM
Let's consider for a moment that his military plans not working out just might be a big blow to him, whether he's owning up to it or not. Waiting at base to be sent back after an early discharge, he has a lot of time to kill and no one to kill it with. All the other guys are busy, busy and know he didn't make the cut, medical or whatever, he still did not make it. He may be feeling like a bit of a failure.

So... take his calls. He's asking for 15 minutes. Watch the clock and when it's up and you have things to do, say "ok, hon I really have to go now. Call me back at ____ time." And take that call, too. Keep them short, if you need to, but he may be looking for a connection to real life. Ask him how he's feeling, rather than just running through what YOU have to do. He knows you're busy and he may be feeling a little envious that you have things to do, people to see, etc. But give him a little time and attention. If you keep putting him off, you may not have to worry about you 'wandering', he very well may do that for you.



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