Forum: Ballet / Pas De Deux

close contact with partnering
By balletforlife31
On Mon Nov 15, 2010 12:28 AM

Hi, so im new to this blog and have a question about pas de deux, male-female relation. Do partners every, acciddently or purposly, touch each other in the well, you know, "sensative areas"? Im freaking out...

7 Replies to close contact with partnering

re: close contact with partnering
By rincedragonflymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Nov 15, 2010 01:02 AM
It totally happens. All the time. And it's okay. We always have this chat at the beginning of a new session...accidental grabbing happens. You say sorry, you move on. Yes, it's awkward, but it happens.

Really, I would rather a hand end up somewhere awkward than my partner drop me on the floor.
re: close contact with partnering
By finding_jaymember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Mon Nov 15, 2010 06:49 AM
Edited by finding_jay (203413) on 2010-11-15 06:50:47 Broken HTML
Edited by finding_jay (203413) on 2010-11-15 06:51:07
It can happen. Learning pas de deux can be tricky at first, because it involves a lot of new steps, and also involves being able to trust one another.

If you're both learning something knew, one or both of you may not be entirely sure of where to put your hands (and other parts of your body). Your (or your partner) may be so involved of making sure their body is positioned correctly, they may not be fully aware of where their hands are.

If you think your partner has their hands in the wrong place and hasn't realised it, gently suggest that they move their hands somewhere else (ie, 'I think your hand should be more on my hip', 'Could you try supporting my leg?'), and maybe even guide their hand into the right place. They may realise their mistake, and depending on how embarrassed/shy they are, may apologise or quietly blush and turn away.

On the other hand, if you believe your partner IS doing it deliberately, and I hope they're not, talk to them when you're not in class. Talk to them after the lesson and let them know they're making you uncomfortable/ask if they know what they're doing. Again, it may be a mistake and they may not know they're touching your breast (or elsewhere). If you're not comfortable with that, then quietly talk to your teacher and say the same thing- X is making me uncomfortable/I think X keeps doing Y on purpose.

Like Rince said, accidental grabbing happens. A partner may be supporting your leg, and their hand is a little too close to your groin. They may have their arm around you in a dip, and their hand touches your breast. Depending on the circumstance (and the rest of the movement), it could just be a 'woah, totally didn't mean that, but didn't want to stop the flow/have you fall!'.
re: close contact with partnering
By balletforlife31
On Mon Nov 15, 2010 03:38 PM
Thanks so much for your answers. I will wait a little bit before bringin it up, with hopes it stops, if not, I will address it with him. Also, its not my breasts, its my crotch area...
re: close contact with partnering
By Sumayah
On Wed Nov 17, 2010 12:52 PM
If there is a real issue like your partner in pas is purposely grabbing you inappropriately then that needs to be dealt with, otherwise hands end up in weird places. One butt press and you kind of get over having boundaries.

Image hotlink - 'http://www.ballet.co.uk/images/kirov/mg_grand_pdd_ulyana_lopatkina_danila_korsuntsev_lift_1000.jpg'

Where exactly do you think his hand is? More than likely she's either sitting on it or he has her by the thigh like this picture:

Image hotlink - 'http://www.ballet.co.uk/images/rdb/cr-midsummernights-dream-alina-cojocaru-mads-blangstrup-formal-lift_1000.jpg'

Either way, if he's grabbing you to keep you steady or it's the nature of the lift then so be it. We had three groups of girls rotating through partners and when we didn't have a guy to dance with, our teacher would have us take turns partnering each other (simple things like pirouettes and promenades) so we could have an understanding of just what the guy has to do. It not only made us more aware of how difficult the guys job is, it made us realize what we could do to help him. If this is your first time partnering (or his), there's a lot of figuring stuff out. Every new partnership has a different place of balance, different habits, different placement and the guy has to adapt to those changes. You may be doing something weird that you don't realize and he's compensating and trying to keep you upright - the guys have a lot more to think about in pas de deux than you might realize. However if he's just touching you to touch you in between combinations or the combination doesn't require his hands to be that close, speak up and ask him to watch his hands. If it continues then have a word with the teacher and ask to change partners.
re: close contact with partnering
By BalletdogPremium member
On Sat Nov 20, 2010 01:51 PM
Another point of view on this issue is to do only those pas steps where there is virtually no chance of embarrassment when properly taught and understood: supported promenades, supported pirouettes, leanbacks (properly taught - I note the comment above on this step also called a dip), pickups for fish dive, and supported poses and lifts supported on the lady's waist. With proper instruction and basic practice done slowly at first, these steps have virtually no chance of ending up embarrassing.

It's most commonly in lifts not supported on the lady's waist where there is more chance of it becoming potentially embarrassing. (An incorrectly done leanback, or pickup for a fish dive, can also go wrong if not properly understood by the guy.) In these cases, like several state above, hand and arm placement need to be worked out between the partners. And also as stated above, in the more rare case where it seems the guy is intentionally abusing his partner, she needs to address it immediately with him or the instructor.

I feel that in general, a good way to avoid this problem in typical pas de deux classes is to stay only with those pas steps where there is virtually no chance of embarrassment ever becoming an issue.

Rick
re: close contact with partnering
By tybalt
On Mon Nov 22, 2010 05:23 AM
It will, sometime, involuntarily, he will touch you and you will touch him where the two of you don't like. You both will learn to avoid it. It will not be a problem if you respect each other as you certainly will.
re: close contact with partnering
By msiegw
On Tue Nov 30, 2010 05:04 PM
To avoid a step or a combination is no solution! I have done this hand chair lift. I'm heterosexual and I love to touch a butt. Moreover, within that dancing comunity I consider myself strong. I can lift easier girl than many prof. dancer. But having the whole weight of a girl on one arm and lifting her and keep the balance is very hard. During this lift I need all my concentration for other things than how does the butt o this girl feels like.
Furthermore, touching a girl-friend and a dancing friend is completely different. When I touch the leg of my dance partner I want her to have tension. It should be like touching steal.
The embarrassment moments are when you have to look into her eyes. In a usual dance class you don't know how your friends feel like. They might have problems with their teacher, parents of friends. If you look into the eyes of your well known dance partner you immediately knows how does she feels like. Getting such an insight is much more embarrassing than touching steal.

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