Forum: Advice / Girls & Guys PG-13

Lingerie...when to or not to...
By Mysticalldancermember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Sat Nov 27, 2010 08:24 AM

hey all, just a quick question...When is it ok to start wearing lingerie for my boyfriend? I'm not talking about just cute little lacy undies or bras (cause that is actually kinda normal everyday for me) i'm talking about the babydolls/teddies/garters w/thigh highs (he has a huge obsession with thigh highs lol)

i've been dating him for all but a month now, we've been officially exclusive for only about a week, so i'm not sure if that's too soon to bust out something sexy like that or not...i havent really been in a super serious relationship for a long time and well this type of advice i'm kind of clueless on. plus guys are so confusing period...haha. We both were somewhat annoyed at each other yesterday, but that was mostly due to the holiday stress, overeating, over drinking, and well exhaustion, not to mention pmsing on my part, and a migraine on his. last night when we txtd things seemed like they were back to our normal way, so i was kind of thinking about surprising him with something when i go up to his place tonight. He for a while was semi- joking about how he wanted to see me in my halloween costume again because he couldnt get enough of the thigh highs, but its been a little while since he's joked about that, i actually think he's given up trying to get me to wear something like that again, which i thought itd be something nice to surprise him with, only im not sure if its too soon in our relationship or not.

any advice i would love to hear. thanks :)

19 Replies to Lingerie...when to or not to...

re: Lingerie...when to or not to...
By AlwaysOnStagePremium member
On Sat Nov 27, 2010 08:55 AM
When both you and he are comfortable with it.

For some couples, that's not for several months; for others that's in the first week. For some, it's not until marriage. Whenever you and he are comfortable, then it's fine. There's no rule about a timeline for relationships.
re: Lingerie...when to or not to...
By panicmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Nov 27, 2010 10:08 AM
Wait, so she's comfortable enough to have sex with him but not comfortable enough to put on some thigh highs? That's whack.
re: Lingerie...when to or not to...
By pokomember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Nov 29, 2010 11:49 PM
I've done the lingerie thing when I wasn't even dating the guy, we were just FWB. Like the first poster said, when you feel comfortable. If you want to do it, and he's keen (and really, what guy wouldn't be), then go for it. I reckon they help your self esteem too...I love it when I know i'm wearing sexy lingerie...just makes me feel a bit more confident!
re: Lingerie...when to or not to...
By saoirse3473member has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Fri Dec 03, 2010 02:50 AM
panic wrote:

Wait, so she's comfortable enough to have sex with him but not comfortable enough to put on some thigh highs? That's whack.


for some it may not be a question of comfort with him, but maybe a question of comfort with her own body image. this doesnt sound like the case with mysticalldancer here, but it can be with others. I think the issue here is that she wants to know if its too soon to wear lingerie and such.

honestly, its up to you. I highly doubt any guy would mind it. who knows, this time go simple nothing too out there, and use this to get to know what he likes (ie thigh highs. maybe he likes red vs black... etc etc).

enjoy, have fun shopping around if you need to (always fun to do with a girlfriend btw! plus, victoria's secret has some great stuff out lol), and dont worry too much. do what feels right!
re: Lingerie...when to or not to...
By balletnutter
On Tue Jan 18, 2011 05:49 AM
Mysticalldancer wrote:

plus guys are so confusing period

lol
guys are simple 'S' 'E' 'X' simple,
that doesn't mean that every guy needs sex when he's dating someone but we do spend a lot of time thinking about it. but just go with whatever you are comfortable with, i'm pretty sure he won't be complaining :D
re: Lingerie...when to or not to... (karma: 1)
By Anon1234567890member has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Jan 18, 2011 08:30 AM
God, I barely even own a matching set. Poor Tim! :?
re: Lingerie...when to or not to... (karma: 2)
By webstArmember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Tue Jan 18, 2011 11:26 AM
guys are simple 'S' 'E' 'X' simple


I still don't know where Panic got that crazy idea that sexism exists on DDN.. :?
re: Lingerie...when to or not to...
By pondflyPremium member
On Tue Jan 18, 2011 11:40 AM
Well my fiance has enough to restock most lingerie shops, but I don't argue. While I appreciate Amy dressing in lingerie, I've told her on several occasions that she doesn't need to as I appreciate the mind and body and clothing isn't what makes a person.
Besides, the lingerie is only on for a little bit before it ends up on the floor :D
re: Lingerie...when to or not to...
By LlamaLlamaDuckmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:08 PM
^ which is why I really haven't bothered with the stuff... that and the fact that I'm not fully comfortable with my post baby body.
re: Lingerie...when to or not to...
By kandykanePremium member
On Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:17 PM
Won't lie, I've worn lots of lingerie over the years.

One of my favorite fantasies is shopping for lingerie with a guy and getting it on in the dressing room. But, alas, the ick factor is such that it shall remain a fantasy. Great for role playing, tho! ;)

kk~
re: Lingerie...when to or not to...
By Heartmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:27 PM
Every guy I've been with has simply said there's no point in lingerie because they're just going to take it off. They'd much rather see me naked. Waste of money.
re: Lingerie...when to or not to...
By Emi89member has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Tue Jan 18, 2011 03:19 PM
for my girlfriend and i it was an occasion thing....
"monthiversaries" or anniversary or valentines or christmas....

think of an occasion that you might celebrate with him and maybe get some for then

for us it tended to be a secret going to the bathroom and putting them on under the clothes you're wearing... so he gets to "unwrap" the surprise....

ultimately like others said its upt o you when you feel comfortable with it.... i assume since you know he likes them that you've talked about it and he is obviously comfortable...

see how you feel :)
re: Lingerie...when to or not to...
By LaineyX
On Tue Jan 18, 2011 03:57 PM
You shouldn't really need to ask our opinion on the subject. Only you will know when you're ready for that. If you really want to, then go ahead and do it as I'm sure he'll have no problem with it. If there's a bit of doubt in your mind, don't rush into it, there's plenty of time for that.
re: Lingerie...when to or not to...
By LlamaLlamaDuckmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Jan 18, 2011 05:27 PM
I was just thinking about the last time I wore lingere... It was the 2 nights after my wedding... I think on my wedding night I wore a zebra print number with pink lace trim... slim pickins in the plus size lingere department.
re: Lingerie...when to or not to...
By alicelovestodacemember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Fri Jan 21, 2011 12:10 PM
I've told my boyfriend if he wants me in it he can buy it, and he's agreed muahaha. oh i've been with my boyfriend 7 months too if that's any help to your question
re: Lingerie...when to or not to...
By PARNABY
On Fri Jan 21, 2011 03:43 PM
If you are ready for it and he is then go for it. The key is to talk to each other.
re: Lingerie...when to or not to...
By DancePrincess827member has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Sat Jan 29, 2011 01:14 AM
I think when you're comfortable enough to wear it, that's when you wear it. Only you can decide when you're ready to wear it or not. There's no set in stone timeframe in which you can or cannot wear lingerie. I say go for it.
re: Lingerie...when to or not to...
By dancegal14
On Sat Feb 12, 2011 11:46 PM
I would agree, when you're comfortable. I'd be careful though, you don't want to scare him off. Last year I went lingerie shopping with my friend who wanted to surprise her boyfriend on their six month "monthiversary". My boyfriend knew that I was going with her, but I thought it might be fun for me to get something too. I bought a cute little babydoll with matching undies, and thought he would enjoy it. Too bad it completely freaked him out, because we had only been together for about a month and a half and he knew that my friend and her boyfriend had been together for 6 months. he thought it was way too serious too soon, I ended up wasting $40 and suffered considerable embarrassment and shame, and now it's been hanging in my closet unused for almost a year.
I'm not saying at all that it's a bad idea, but I'd definitely consider how he's going to react first!
good luck:)
re: Lingerie...when to or not to...
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