Had this in an email from our mom - sure some of you have already seen it but it made me lol a small amount!


Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

Sincerely, Unicorns



Dear Twilight fans,

Please realise that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasising about that.

Sincerely, Logic



Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.

Sincerely, The Titanic



Dear America,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely, Canada



Dear Boyfriend,

I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.

Sincerely, Spiders



Dear Voldemort,

So they screwed up your nose too?

Sincerely, Michael Jackson



Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it." Just saying...

Sincerely, Google



Dear girls who have been dumped,

There are plenty of fish in the sea. Just kidding! They're all dead.

Sincerely, BP



Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!

Sincerely, 1985



Dear Justin Bieber ,

Ariel would really love her voice back.

Sincerely, King Triton



Dear Rose,

There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.

Sincerely, Jack



Dear Windshield Wipers,

Can't touch this.

Sincerely, That Little Triangle



Dear Taylor Swift,

If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.

Sincerely, Shakespeare



Dear Soccer Fans,

Bz z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z!

Sincerely, Vuvuzelas



Dear Saturn,

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

Sincerely, God



Dear Rubik's Cube,

Done!

Sincerely, Colourblind



Dear Santa,

Please tell me how you managed to stop at three ho's.

Sincerely, Tiger Woods



Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans,

I. Can't. Breathe.

Sincerely, Your Balls



Dear Martin Luther King Jr,

I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream.... What now?

Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio



Dear Sleeping Beauty,

I had to join the army, dress up like a man, defeat the hun army and totally save China for my man.

All you had to do was wake up.

Sincerely, Mulan



Dear Romeo,

My death isn't the only thing I've been faking...

Sincerely, Juliet



Dear Fox News,

So far, no news about foxes.

Sincerely, Unimpressed



Dear Sex Educators,

Abstinence is only 99.99% effective.

Sincerely, The Virgin Mary



Dear Toaster,

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?

Sincerely, Toast



Dear Edward,

I really hope that one day, I can find my way into your heart.

Sincerely, a stake



Dear Prince Charming,

You've got some explaining to do!

Sincerely, Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty

Those are brilliant! I've never seen them, but I definitely love them!

This has now been posted in an email and sent round my office on this horrible rainy day.

Helen

Those are terrific, particularly the last one!
Here, have a few more:

Dear Tide, Benjamin Moore, Exxon, Vigoro, and the list goes on and on:
I can do anything that any of you can do and do them quite well enough.
Sincerely, Brand X

Dear Early Bird (and Early Worm for that matter):
I got the cheese.
Sincerely, Second Mouse

Dear Commandant:
Please tell those Marines to stop singing in the hallways.
Sincerely, Moctezuma

To the parents of Goldilocks:
We have your daughter in custody on a charge of burglary. Be glad we had tranquilizer darts to calm the householder.
Sincerely, Police Captain Schmaltzkopff

Haha! I kept giggling the whole way through and now I'm getting some strange looks.

There's even more at dear blank, please blank.:-)

hahaha there gas never seen them before

Brilliant! Keep 'em coming