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gothic vampire sweet 16 dress code, is this really rude? en>fr fr>en
By ghilliegirlan Comments: 365, member since Mon Jun 18, 2007
On Fri Feb 11, 2011 08:56 PM

I'm having a gothic vampire sweet sixteen party this March, I want everyone to dress like vampires but in the classy victorian way not tacky halloween costume way. I don't really know if it's appropriate to tell them to dress in a certain way, the party isn't going to be in a big hall with lots of people or anything, it's just my friends in my house. Obviously I'm not expecting full on victorian dress from a costume shop but more like long skirts/nice pants and dark colored shirts incorporating lace, black button up shirts and dark jeans or pants for guys and just generally incorporating that kind of gothic flair without being halloween tacky. I asked this question elsewhere and everybody said how tacky it was and that it's horribly rude to ask people to dress up. I guess I don't understand why it's so horrible, I've been reading lots of articles on planning sweet 16 parties and many of them mention requiring guests to wear clothes according to the theme such as masquerade or hollywood,cinderella etc. Some of them even required cocktail attire. Can someone explain why this is considered rude even though so many people do it? I really don't want to be like the girls on my super sweet 16 I just wanted to have a fun theme and stick to it. I also wanted to have a sitdown dinner, for one I think it fits well with the theme and the dinner happens to be my favorite thing in the world. The only problem is I don't know if this is appropriate for a sweet sixteen party without seeming stuck up and princessy, I don't want to do the standard pizza and wings like I've done every other year but it's really my only option otherwise. I guess I'm just really disappointed that I can't go through with my plans and thought maybe some people here could help me understand where I went wrong and maybe have some ideas that stick to the theme that don't make me seem like a total stuck up brat. All advice is much appreciated.

-Ashley

8 Replies to gothic vampire sweet 16 dress code, is this really rude?

re: gothic vampire sweet 16 dress code, is this really rude? en>fr fr>en
By SiyoNqobamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 7049, member since Fri Aug 02, 2002
On Sat Feb 12, 2011 01:40 AM
There is a difference between asking guests to wear clothes according to the theme and what you're doing. What you're doing would be like saying "It's a masquerade theme, but I only want people coming in half-masks." You could get around this, however, in the way you do your invites. If they're designed to look more Victorian-era than tacky Halloween style, people are going lead more towards that. Alternatively, if there's a movie or book that encapulates the style you want, make it that theme instead.

I think a sit down dinner is a great idea and if that's want you want, and if it's do-able, you should do it. It's entirely appropriate and doesn't seem stuck up at all.

Have fun :)
re: gothic vampire sweet 16 dress code, is this really rude? en>fr fr>en
By Odessamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 11218, member since Tue Feb 26, 2002
On Sat Feb 12, 2011 01:53 AM
I don't think it is tacky to ask people to dress up for a party. Rather than just coming out and saying "I want you to dress like you're from Bram Stoker's Dracula or Interview With The Vampire", use your invitation to evoke that sort of imagery.

Say something like "It's my 16th birthday and I am inviting you to join me for darkly romantic vampire party. Inspired by the vampires Dracula and Lestat, we're going to celebrate all that's weird and wonderful about those classic gothic vampire stories. Please join me in the spirit of the theme by choosing something dark, lacy, velvety or Victorian-inspired to wear - no sparkly vampires allowed!"

Put in some pictures that keep with the theme you've chosen and I am sure people will get into the spirit of it. It sounds like a lot of fun, I love Victoriana :)

Erin.
::righteous babe::
re: gothic vampire sweet 16 dress code, is this really rude? en>fr fr>en
By Louisemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 17049, member since Thu Jun 06, 2002
On Sat Feb 12, 2011 03:45 AM
Are people actually going to be able to acquire that kind of costume though? It's very niche and most people I know wouldn't dream of making their own costume - they'd hire or buy from the internet. I'd imagine most 16 year olds are the same. Are you sure there are enough costumes out there for people, so that they don't have to shell out a shedload of money OR don't all end up wearing the same thing? I'm just thinking people won't have a clue where to start and you WILL end up with Halloween vampires whether you like it or not. Consider whether that's going to ruin your night.
re: gothic vampire sweet 16 dress code, is this really rude? en>fr fr>en
By obsesseddancer14 Comments: 652, member since Thu Aug 11, 2005
On Sat Feb 12, 2011 01:06 PM
I agree with Louise. I just don't think what you're envisioning is doable for most people with what they already have in their closets and as it sounds like you don't want them to buy cheap halloween-style vampire costumes. I think the reason your friends thought it was rude is because you're not only asking them to go out and buy costumes for this but also to buy pretty nice ones which is an expensive request seeing how they're most likely only going to wear them for this one event. I think you have to realize that if you try to use this theme people are probably not going to show up in what you're picturing. You can either decide you're okay with that and have the party anyway or pick an easier theme. I know you want you birthday to be special and as cool as you're picturing it but I think you have to take a minute to think realistically about this theme and how hard it might be for some of your friends to pull off without spending a bunch of money.
re: gothic vampire sweet 16 dress code, is this really rude? en>fr fr>en
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 3460, member since Sat Sep 20, 2003
On Sat Feb 12, 2011 01:52 PM
Why not just say at the bottom of invitation "Victorian dress desired"? That way people will do what they can to dress up and those that are able to won't. Make your invitations very gothic-y/ vampire-ish and that should definitely set the tone!
re: gothic vampire sweet 16 dress code, is this really rude? en>fr fr>en
By pols Comments: 872, member since Thu Apr 26, 2007
On Sat Feb 12, 2011 01:59 PM
I think it's a really good idea to pick a movie/book that encapsulates what you want. If it's a movie you could even put a picture on your invite with some of the characters. That way people could at least see what the goal is and might be able to come up with things from their wardrobes (smart black trousers/long skirts etc that don't have to be bought).

Big HOWEVER coming, though. If you want to do this, please accept that not everyone will turn up as you envisioned. Some people might be uncomfortable with it. Others might have to buy/rent and not be able to afford much. It's only for one night and even though it's your birthday, to some of them it's going to be a hassle. There's nothing rude about having a themed party, but you do need to be more focused on having a good time than on what people are wearing. Put your efforts into dinner and decorations and what you're wearing. If you're happy in your own environment then you honestly won't care as much if a fewe people don't quite hit the mark. Just be honoured that they have tried for you.
re: gothic vampire sweet 16 dress code, is this really rude? en>fr fr>en
By Odessamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 11218, member since Tue Feb 26, 2002
On Sat Feb 12, 2011 11:33 PM
I think, just in response to what Louise and obsesseddancer14 mentioned, that you don't necessarily need to hire a costime in order to fit the theme.

Even something as simple as a long black dress, or a pair of tailored pants with a dark red or black button-up shirt, or a frilly knee-length skirt with a lacy top would suit the theme if coupled with white face makeup, red lips and dark eyes.

I think it's more about getting into the spirit of it.

Erin.
::righteous babe::
re: gothic vampire sweet 16 dress code, is this really rude? en>fr fr>en
By Munkensteinmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 14365, member since Mon Aug 11, 2003
On Sun Feb 13, 2011 07:14 PM
You could always go to some secondhand stores and get some costume pieces for people who may not have an outfit that goes with the party theme...just have them hanging on a rack near the entrance and maybe have somebody attend to the people who need pieces. :)

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