Never posted on this section of DDN.

I'm only one week into this and just looking for other stories, good preferred, but bad too is fine. My husband and I have been having problems for over half our marriage. Basically I was always in bad relationships where I took care of the guys and was the only one showing the love, before I married him. He was a knight in shining armor who took such good care of me and loved me so. I somehow in all this lost that I wasn't taking care of him and/or letting him know what was in my heart, how much I truly loved and appreciated him. I became selfish, demanding, controlling, and very needy, co-dependent once things started falling apart and he couldn't deal with these traits of mine. He made some "friendships" at work that also divided us. No sex, but for sure there was some emotional attachment. 2 different girls, 2 different times who gave him the adoration he felt he needed. Things became unsafe with me. I was bitter and breaking down all the time and he just couldn't deal with that or even really talk to me anymore. So, he decided to go stay with family for a while. We're not putting a time frame on it just yet.
I've done pretty well until yesterday. I think Valentine's Day just got to me. I fell back into my old self, old routines. Truth is, yeah I don't like it, I'm impatient, it's not easy (we have 3 kids, but he is coming every other day or so to see them, which is also hard and hard to have space ya know?) but I really think this is the best thing for us and we should have done it long ago! We've barely even spent anytime apart in 6 1/2 years of marriage!
Anyway, thoughts, stories, feelings? Go and thanks!

If you both really want to fix your marriage, I think you might need a marriage counselor.

A friend of mine and her husband had some serious issues. If you want to know what happened between them, you can PM me because I don't feel right putting her story out there on a public site even though I haven't mentioned her name.

Anyhow, they separated for a time. They both realized while they were apart what was really wrong and got some counseling to fix it. They got back together after a few months of being apart and have been going strong ever since.

The point, though, is that despite the hard, horrible problems, after a week or two of cool-down time they went to counseling. You can't just leave something alone and think it's going to fix itself if you're just apart and that's it. Everyone I know that wound up breaking up during a trial separation separated and then did nothing. Get counseling and get it soon if you want to keep the marriage.