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Girls & Guys
I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By Felsamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 4038, member since Thu Nov 09, 2006
On Tue Mar 01, 2011 06:04 PM

This is basically just a rant because I am to lose my cool if I don't let this out.

I am literally going broke living at home. I have -$10.00 and I don't get paid for another week and a half. And I have almost completely run out of gas. The best part? I don't even spend the money I make!

I am at a new job that pays $2.50 MORE an hour then my last one. And I work the same amount of hours in a week. So I should be able to have a good chunk in my bank seeing as how I have been working here for 2 months, right? Wrong.

Not being able to work for 2 and a half weeks due to mono last month did not help. But neither do my expenses for the month. Which are as follows

Rent - 300
Food - 150
(or I pay 450 for rent and my mom does all the grocery shopping. Since I am vegetarian though and they are not, I buy my own.)
Car insurance - 100
Gas for my car - 100
Cell phone - 50

That is a whole pay check. And for some reason I cant seem to get ahead. My mom will ask me to pick up extra food for her and my brother when I go out. Milk and yogurt and chips ect.. none of which I eat. Then my shoes go and break and I need to buy new ones for work. Then I need an oil change. And I have to renew my car registration.

I am trying so desperately to get ahead but as soon as I get paid all my money either goes to rent which I am behind on paying or gas for my car or other things I need like food and clothes. I could not even afford to put my winter tires on this year and we are just getting nailed where I live in Canada.

I am so sick of not having money. I am desperately trying to save up for moving this summer. The move alone is going to cost me about $1500 and I don't want to be broke when I get there.

And I know for a fact the only reason I have to pay rent is because my mom is in debt and trying to get out of it. And I know I should not complain about having to pay rent and buy my own food, but I am just so frustrated that I can not catch up on the money.

It would be a bit better if she did not act like my mom all the time. I pay rent and buy and cook all my own food yet I still have a chore list and get in trouble for not doing dishes and she has to know where I am going and when I am getting home and who I will be with and what we are doing. I am 20!

Arg!!

40 Replies to I am going broke by living at home. Arg!

re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By seacaptain Comments: 2111, member since Mon Sep 19, 2005
On Tue Mar 01, 2011 06:25 PM
I'm not sure where you got the idea that your mom would stop being your mom if you paid rent or that you would stop having responsibilities. . . but that just isn't the case. Your mom will NEVER stop being your mom and whether or not you pay rent, you're living in a house with other people, chores get divided up among those who live there. this would be the case if you lived on your own (you do ALL the chores) or with flatmates.

AND whether or not you pay rent, if you live in someone's house - you follow their rules. Just how it goes in the real world.

Having to tell your mom where your going and when you'll be back is likely more a safety thing than anything - my mom wants to know so she knows if/when she needs to start worrying if i don't show up.
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 3460, member since Sat Sep 20, 2003
On Tue Mar 01, 2011 06:35 PM
Can you talk to her and say something along the lines of "It's either rent or chores. I am too busy with my job to be doing both"? If you're paying rent then you should definitely be treated as a tenant.

I understand that being a vegetarian is a bit more expensive, but try to cut back on what you spend for groceries... You could probably squeeze by on 100/month if you planned meals/clipped coupons/shopped sales. $50 extra per month would give you some nice padding for the incidental costs life throws at you!
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By Felsamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 4038, member since Thu Nov 09, 2006
On Tue Mar 01, 2011 06:45 PM
We dont have coupons in Canada. We some that are like "Buy two cans and save $0.30"

I don't want her to stop being my mom but treat me as more of a tenant. When I lived on my own, I could choose when to do the dishes. I could choose when to wash the floors. Now it is I come home from work and I have to get so much done by the time my mom is done work plus I have to go and get my brother which takes an hour and then be in bed for 7 to get up at 3.

I just wish I did not have to pay so much rent. And just when I thought I was caught up, my mom tells me she forgot to take my rent out last month. Arg! So there goes 600 in one chunk (she transfers it online).
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By LlamaLlamaDuckmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 7698, member since Sun Nov 21, 2004
On Tue Mar 01, 2011 07:12 PM
There are a lot more coupons than you think there are online.
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By CrayolaPremium member Comments: 1548, member since Sat Feb 26, 2005
On Tue Mar 01, 2011 07:15 PM
Do you make a budget each time you get paid or monthly? I know you have outlined what your expenses are, but that's not a budget. What helps me is to start clean each pay check and write what you got paid at the top of a piece of paper. Then, subtract in order of importance your expenses until you have no more money.

I too think you could trim back your food budget. Coupons are out there - I also live in Canada and use coupons from time to time. I have found ways to save money is to buy things from the bulk bin. For example, I like to buy a particular brand of organic brown rice and for a small bag it's about $7.00 - pretty pricey. I learned that the natural foods section of my grocery store has organic wild rice and for about the same amount of rice as the pre-packaged, it's more than half the price. Same goes for nuts and seeds (I'm also a veggie).

Is it possible to ask your mom for a reduction in Rent in exchange for chores? Even saving $50/month could go a long way for you.

I know you work early hours, so this may not be possible, but have you considered taking alternate transportation? If you parked your car (ie. no insurance or gas), that would save you $200/month. Or, change your insurance to pleasure instead of all purpose. I have a car, but I take the bus to school, so I can save on insurance. It sounds small, but everything adds up.

Pick up a part-time/casual job for weekends if you have a m-f type job. It sucks. I know. I have worked 2 jobs (at points 3) for the past 3 years. That's a full-time M-F job and a part-time 20 h/week job. Yeah it sucks, but if you want to save and make progress, sacrifices need to be made.

Hang in there, you'll get through it. Just watch every dollar that goes out that door very carefully.
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By kandykanePremium member Comments: 16123, member since Mon May 01, 2006
On Tue Mar 01, 2011 07:24 PM
When I read your title I thought, wth? Why? Then I remembered that you have to pay rent. But when I read how much you actually DO pay, I was truly shocked. $700 total.

If you had a roommate, you would pay less living away from home. But of course, you have to save money for deposits and first month rent to get a place and move.

I don't know what to say, I'm just really shocked at how much your mom expects you to pay.

kk~
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By Felsamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 4038, member since Thu Nov 09, 2006
On Tue Mar 01, 2011 07:36 PM
I will have to keep my eye out for coupons.

Unfortunatly there is no other way to get to work. Buses do not run until 6:15 here and it is a 30 minute walk. I am fine with this, but it makes me nervous to walk that much at 4am. Plus it has been about -40 every morning.

I actually had to fight with my mom to only pay 300 a month instead of a lump sum of 450. At least with food I can spread it out over the month. My brother however does the 450 a month. What gets me though is he literally makes twice as much as I do (he is a welder) so he was able to go out and buy a macbook and everything else he wants while I am struggling to afford what I need.

I know I will be fine after getting paid next week. Then I will be on top of things, especially with this 52 hour week I am doing this week. I just hate knowing that if I did not have to pay rent then I could have an extra 1200 bucks for moving which basically covers the cost of the move.
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By Helenmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 6304, member since Tue Dec 03, 2002
On Wed Mar 02, 2011 03:11 AM
I really don't have much advise but to second what KK said, that is a whole lot of rent to be taking from you and your brother and then you buy your own gorceries.

Helen
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By LoriCook Comments: 1465, member since Mon Aug 17, 2009
On Wed Mar 02, 2011 03:37 AM
What if you and your brother rented a place for yourselves? Your mother would be out a WHOLE lot of cash so I suppose that is pretty mean but really, is she keeping you at home by charging you so much so she can continue to pay off her debt (and get some chores done to boot)? Mom needs to get a handle on her money problem without relying on you and your brother. At some point you are going to leave (I hope!) and she will have to live off of what she has without you. If she can't help you get ahead financially at least she should not hinder you. That is not what being a parent is all about!

Of course it is fair for her to charge you some rent and expect you to do household tasks but what about suggesting a percentage of your wage go to rent, rather than a set amount, and you buy your own food? This idea will probably go over like a lead balloon since your mom is relying on your money. Point out to her that most people live at home so they can save up money to move on. If you aren't able to do that then there is something desperately wrong.

The only other suggestion I have is to get yourself a Hugh Heffner. On second thought...there are worse things than being poor!
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By PureTapPremium member Comments: 1082, member since Sat Jul 12, 2008
On Wed Mar 02, 2011 04:30 AM
$10 per day for rent...you'd be hard put to find a motel room (even a flea infested one) for that sort of money and you'd still have to buy your food on top of that.

Give me $10.00 a day and a few chores...geez, I'd be happy with that in comparison to $40.00, all the chores, full time work, 3 hours of travel per day and child care in my spare time! Although, I have to admit, I don't have to report to anyone when I go out or come back, because I don't have time to go out and party.

Heh, swap ya!
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By Moonlitefairy06member has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 6832, member since Fri Apr 16, 2004
On Wed Mar 02, 2011 05:17 AM
I was also going to suggest if you and your brother could get a place together. I don't
know how far $750 will get you where you live. I know you won't be able to find anything decent here in DC, but its also an expensive city. However, since your planning on moving in May, I doubt you'll be able to get a lease for that short of time unless your brother has a friend that can take it over when you leave. But of course this would also have to mean your mother lets you take your bed adn stuff with you or find a place that comes furnished otherwise you won't be saving money if you have to buy stuff.
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By dancemomtoo Comments: 2629, member since Fri Jan 09, 2004
On Wed Mar 02, 2011 06:17 AM
Who pays for the gas for you going to get your brother-an hours drive everyday would eat thru lots of gas and you should not be paying it.
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By schuhplattlerPremium member Comments: 2809, member since Sat Dec 23, 2006
On Wed Mar 02, 2011 08:14 AM
Look hard at your car insurance bill. $100 a month in Canada? I don't pay half that in the DC area.
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By Meganmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 12798, member since Wed Mar 17, 2004
On Wed Mar 02, 2011 09:09 AM
Edited by Megan (87282) on 2011-03-02 09:09:48
^That's not unusual for insurance at all here, actually. I, a 24-year-old driver with a flawless driving record and a newish car, pay $220/month for very comprehensive insurance in a big city about 2 hours from Felsa.

Felsa, I'm just not sure where your money is going. You work full-time, yes? Even at minimum wage (and you're making more than that), you should be making at least an extra $500 on top of your expenses ($700). I really think you need to write down absolutely everything you're spending and see where it's all going.

I know it's frustrating, but honestly, your expenses are a lot less than most people who live on their own. I pay $700/month for rent alone.
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By kandykanePremium member Comments: 16123, member since Mon May 01, 2006
On Wed Mar 02, 2011 09:30 AM
That is true, cost of living does vary from area to area. Maybe I'm just used to living in a cheaper area. But I still can't get over a mom insisting on that much from her kids. She must really be in a bind.

kk~
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By AlwaysOnStagePremium member Comments: 7291, member since Sun Apr 18, 2004
On Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:29 AM
^ I'm surprised at that rent, too. Too much all around. I think it's unfair of your mother to expect the same amount of rent from you and your brother, if you are pulling in different incomes. Isn't the point of living at home to save money and save hassle? It sounds like the opposite is happening. You mother isn't allowing you to even tread water, which is crappy no matter how pressed for cash she is.

That said, look for anything to reduce bits, and immediately put those bits aside. Do you shop around for your food--make sure you're getting the best deal? Even looking at different stores will show you the differences in prices. I don't know about the Canada/coupon situation, but others seem to be saying that it exists so try and work that angle (again, remember that buying a more expensive can of corn with a 10cent off coupon may still be more expensive than a less expensive can of corn without a coupon).

Is there any way to reduce your driving? Even if you can't take public transit to work, can you take it to get food, or go to the post office or something like that? Any way to carpool with people you know to work?

I hope you can figure this out. Sorry it's so stressful!
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By Meganmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 12798, member since Wed Mar 17, 2004
On Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:41 AM
Housing costs are incredibly high here, recent posters. My two-bedroom, one bath suite is $1400/month. I have a friend who just moved into a studio (like 700sq ft, no bedroom) in a less-desirable part of town and she's still paying $1000. $350 wouldn't get you a bedroom in a shared house here unless it was in the ghetto.

I'm not trying to justify her mom exactly, I just want you guys to understand that she's paying half or less as much rent as she'd be paying anywhere on her own.
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By schuhplattlerPremium member Comments: 2809, member since Sat Dec 23, 2006
On Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:59 AM
Ignore my last post. I drive an elderly car; I'm older myself; and I don't carry collision. The radio news just announced that the average here is $1600 per year.
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By CrayolaPremium member Comments: 1548, member since Sat Feb 26, 2005
On Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:24 AM
I honestly do not think rent is your biggest problem. There's no way that you could move out for less than 300/month. Even if you could, you need to furnish said apartment and that takes even more money.

In your diary you posted a picture of your beautiful new desk. Yes, it's lovely, but considering how much it cost I'm not surprised that you have no money. That's just one purchase; I'm sure there are others. I think you just need to budget more and be more diligent with your spending.
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By Louisemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 17050, member since Thu Jun 06, 2002
On Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:32 AM
When I lived at home my rent money was going towards helping my dad pay his mortgage. Now I live with Tim my rent money is going towards paying his mortgage. When you rent from a landlord your money is going towards paying their mortgage. Felsa's rent money is going towards paying off her mom's debt. A mortgage is a debt. Really not seeing the difference here. The debt was probably incurred on living expenses that benefited her as she was growing up so it's not as if her mom is sponging off her. Plus it's her MOM, not a business transaction. I don't know, maybe it's a cultural thing but I don't know why anyone with a job would expect to live at home without paying rent. I pay Tim £150 a month rent which is a token amount and that equates to about $250 CAD; I buy my own food/petrol/sundries myself as well and I don't get my own room, lol.

$700 CAD a month really isn't a lot. In English money that's about £440 and I'd consider that an unliveable wage - i.e., if I were living alone, I couldn't support myself on that. Never mind saving. I'm not trying to belittle what you earn, just saying that perhaps your expectations of how much stuff costs and how much you should be able to save, are really unrealistic. Instead of blaming your mom for (fairly) charging you rent, you should be a bit more realistic and as others have said, cut back elsewhere.

And if your brother makes a ton more than you then he can probably afford to take driving lessons and get a car. Or make alternatives. You don't HAVE to be his personal taxi service.
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By BeautifulMistakemember has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 2426, member since Tue Feb 20, 2007
On Wed Mar 02, 2011 01:37 PM
I also suggest looking at what else you're spending money on. I live in Saskatchewan. I have a job where I work 12 hours a WEEK and I make at least $400 a month. And I'm only paid a little over minimum wage. I used to work about 16 hours a week and I got almost $600 a month if I remember correctly. If you're working full time, you should be getting more than that.
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By Felsamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 4038, member since Thu Nov 09, 2006
On Wed Mar 02, 2011 06:14 PM
I know i was being unreasonable last night. I just had to get it all off my chest.

I know living at home is cheaper then being on my own. The problem I am facing is how far behind I am. Last May my depression hit full force and I had to quit my job. I was crying at work, coming home and crying, could not get out of bed ect... Then I hardly worked at all over the summer. Heck I hardly left my room. This is also the time I moved back home and had to deal with my land lord and meet with lawyers. Thankfully my mom did not charge me rent, but she did make me feel guilty about it.

Then I got this job and managed to get somewhat caught up which is why I bought my desk. That desk is a present to my mom for letting me live at home rent free. I am turning my room into a nice office for her. Then just as I think I am okay, I get sick and can not work. Next thing I know I am behind on my cell phone bill, borrowing money for car insurance.

I am so behind and if I could just have one more month where I do not pay rent I would be fine. I have 600 right now which is why I thought i was caught up but then I have to pay rent for this month and last month and BAM it is gone.

My brother could take the bus home. I feel bad for him though because he is done work at 4:30 and would not get home until close to 7. Our buses suck. And he has his learners, he just has to wait 5 more months to take the test.

Thanks for listening to me rant last night. I am so just so sick of being behind.

And actually to clear up the debt thing, only part of it is from my dance. The rest is actually from her being incredibly stupid, and she admits that too, which is why it ticks me off that I am helping to pay it off. But at the same time I felt so guilt when I had 4000 in my bank back in the day and she had to work two jobs.
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By ballerinatwirler Comments: 2057, member since Sat May 29, 2004
On Wed Mar 02, 2011 09:29 PM
I'm going to take a different approach here.. I saw your post on the Money Matters boards. I don't think it's fair that you have to contribute anymore then do. If you are already paying for EVERYTHING there is no reason why you should be buying extra things for your mom and brother like the snacks. It boggles my mind that you have a chore list like you're a child. Does everyone including your mom do equal parts of chores? Is there anyway she could consider cutting your rent even by a small amount? How much money a month are you guys paying to live there. If you are paying $300 and your brother is paying $450 a month just you and your brothers rent is more then my family pays for their mortage a month. Is your mom profitting some of the money for herself? Like instead of it going directly to the mortage is she making more money by having you live there?

No offense but I couldn't tolerate living like that. :(

Maybe the cost of living is higher where you live but in my town and some surrounding towns you can get a studio apartment for $400 a month with all heat and utiliies included. So maybe that's why the prices shocked me.
re: I am going broke by living at home. Arg! en>fr fr>en
By oz_helenmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 11196, member since Sat Aug 10, 2002
On Wed Mar 02, 2011 09:32 PM
If your brother is working, he should be contributing to your car running costs if you're collecting him from work every day.

Helen
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