Hey,

So I am having a bit of a problem. I have been friends with this woman for a little over a year. Actually, she is one of my professors, but she is also my friend, a mentor-type, she's not much older than me. She is a great person and I get along with her better than just anyone I've ever met, seriously. I trust her and feel totally comfortable around her. The problem is, I am in love with her. When I say in love, it's not like I necessarily want to date her or have sex with her. I am just crazy about her as a person. I find myself thinking about her all the time, and I know it's not healthy. It's not even that I'm pining after her, but I do love hanging out with her. She's one of those people that I can't get enough of, and can't wait to see again. . I'm just near constantly thinking, "Gosh, I love her, she's awesome." It's like I'm in platonic love with her. I don't know how else to describe it. I am afraid of it turning into deeper feelings, and I don't want that. Not only because she is my professor and I couldn't date her even if we both wanted to (she is super straight by the way), I don't want those feelings to get in the way of our friendship. I am not out, and am okay with that for now. I just don't know how to deal with this, so any suggestions would be wonderful! Thanks.

Unfortunately, I don't have any advice...but I just wanted to let you know that I have TOTALLY experienced the same thing as you're describing with older female role models before (I'm straight, if that makes any difference). For me, I think it stems from the fact that during childhood I never really had any positive female role models and thus never formed any type of attachment with a mother or even female mentor figure....it's something I'm still trying to figure out myself. Sorry I can't be more help, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone :-/

Thanks, that's nice to know. I mean, I wouldn't label myself as "gay", but I definitely have always had an attraction to women.

Like you, I didn't have a lot of female role models. I mean I had a great mom, but no sisters, no female cousins or aunts even. So, yeah, it could have something to do with that. Thanks for your response!