So I've just met this guy. The first night we met, we kissed, and it was amazing. And yes, this is all going to sound completely naive.

We met up on Sunday. We had been talking in a pub for a couple of hours when he said to me "There's something I should probably tell you...I'm gay". I gave him a sort of confused look and said "Err...okay?", when he said "Well, no I'm not, but I'm bisexual". It took me completely by surprise. Maybe it's because I'm really attracted to him, but I'm still pretty convinced I could never have guessed he likes guys.

Later that night I asked him if he ever has relationships with guys (because I know he had a girlfriend recently), and he sort of snorted and said "Ah...definitely not". We went a little bit further than kissing, which was amazing, but I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he, like me, likes men. I have since told him that I'd like to see him again, and he said he'd like to see me too, but I'm really confused.

Before I say this, let me make it clear that I have absolutely no problem with people being gay. I guess what I'm thinking is...do you really think it's possible for him to genuinely like girls also? And is it wrong that I find it a little...off-putting?

do you really think it's possible for him to genuinely like girls also?

It's POSSIBLE, but it's not LIKELY.

And is it wrong that I find it a little...off-putting?

OK, if this guy were your neighbor and you found it off-putting, I would tell you to mind your own damn business. But since you're getting busy with the guy, you should be VERY VERY concerned about it.

Look, just based on what you wrote, the guy is obviously confused and less than forthcoming. But I suspect you're going to keep fooling around with him no matter what anyone says. So keep your wits about you, and BE SAFE! This will not end well.

No, I have genuinely taken in what you've said. My initial post was written rather terribly because I was in a rush, and I guess I just wanted some sort of response from someone quickly. This is not a topic my friends could give me advice on, hah. Thanks for your help, though! I may see him again, but I'm certainly not going to rush into anything...

It's a personal rule of mine that I won't start a relationship feeling conflicted. Don't get me wrong, in many/most relationships that continue over time, there are times of feeling confused, conflicted, or 'off-put'. However, I don't think that feeling should be there from the get-go. I mean, if you're having anxious thoughts about him while you're going through your first kisses...again, that's just the kind of start to a relationship that would get me to pursue it. Because of that, I would advise you to stop being intimate with him, and to choose if you want to be just friends or not at all.

However, if you decide to pass on that advice, think of some possible scenarios. I think, because you're expressing discomfort now, that it's a good idea for you to think about what level of discomfort it would take for you to walk away/end it. I don't mean "what actions could he do that would make you leave" but rather, what level of internal discomfort/anxiety/panic is your sign to leave. At least, that's the method I use to keep uncomfortable situations from controlling my life.

And as for your feelings, it is normal/fine that you find this news off-putting especially since you haven't been in this scenario before. I think it's even better that you recognize that feeling in yourself and are searching for the validity of it.