Day 234 - Happy milk is delighted to accompany your breakfast.

Day 235 - Resin. It’s finally getting warm enough to get back into resin work. Yay!

===

My stupid hormones got the better of me yesterday. I've been so good, for so many months, so I was probably due for another breakdown. And over something so stupid, so trivial.

A facebook thing.

A stupid facebook thing - which in other circumstances I would have (possibly) found amusing left me questioning my relationship with N, shattered my self esteem (yes, yes, I know we shouldn't need external influences to make us feel good about ourselves) and had me convinced he was going to leave me for someone else on the side.

*headdesk*

I nearly cried at work, which I never, ever do (I'm an ugly crier). And because he was out last night, it festered until very late. I wept, he held me and reassured me there was nothing to worry about: we're fine and it was just a stupid joke. And we discussed everything into the wee smalls hours.

Stupid hormones.

Day 236 - Big Sky
Day 237 - Incoming (I got caught in it)
Day 238 - Nom (on broccoli)
Day 239 - Cecil
Day 240 - Ambitious (Knitted lace wrap in super fine silk-mohair)

===

I have stuff to post, but no time now.. maybe later I'll do an update...

Day 241 - The Angels have the Teeny Tiny Phonebox
Day 242 - Pinhead
Day 243 - Cabin Fever
Day 244 - Magpie
Day 245 - As Far as the Eye Can See. (Grasslands behind my SiL’s house)
Day 246 - Cucumber
Day 247 - Study time
Day 248 - The Golden Hour

===

OK, batch-catchup time, I guess. My life is pretty mundane, though, so I'm not sure if anyone actually wants to know the details.

As I posted in Sumayah's diary, N and I had a vehement disagreement and cold-shoulder episode a couple of weeks ago. I'm posting about it, because it's so rare for us. We had guests, and he was making dinner. He asked for my help, but not being a mind reader, I didn't know what he wanted done, so we snapped and snarked (quietly) at each other. Later, he apologised and said he didn't mean it. I was trying to be funny and lighten the mood, and replied "yes you did" - not so funny after all. He huffed and walked away, and it made for a painfully tense evening with guests. But like any disagreement, we talked it over before turning the lights out that night. We've learned the hard way that not talking about things the night they occur can lead to weeks of sulking on both our parts. We're too similar in that respect.

My folks got caught up in the Qantas grounding debacle last week. They were meant to land on Cup Day, but were forced by the evil airline giant to spend another day at Disneyland instead (Oh the hardship! ) We spent Cup Day taking one of their cats to the vet. Who knew cats could get IBS?

We took them back on the weekend just gone. It seemed to be a weekend full of visiting - family on Saturday, out for a BBQ saturday night, then seeing some very old friends on Sunday. These old friends, we've known for years. If it wasn't for the wife (S), N and I would never have met. We studied together then when we hit the workforce she worked closely with N. We first met her now-husband when we went away on a couples weekend. It was a baptism of fire for him, and the poor bloke will never live down getting food poisoning from her cooking. They got married about 4 years ago, and have two pretty good kids. We don't seem to see them anywhere near as much as we'd all like - at the moment our lifestyles are too incompatible - but hopefully that'll change.

S is the only person who can get away with asking those questions: the ones you should never, ever ask people: "when are you having kids?" etc.

Well, hopefully after my specialist visit this Friday we'll be able to start planning.

Otherwise, work is work is work. I am getting annoyed with a colleague who has loud phone conversations and visitors hovering around my cube. It's hard to procrastinate when there are people standing behind you, you know?

Oh, and I've got a G+ account now. Not sure how often I'll use it, but if you want to join my circle, or be friends or whatever google call it, PM me, and I'll send you my details.

Day 249 - Stormfront
Day 250 - No
Day 251 - Shadows

===

I had my last ever specialist appointment today. It's an indescribably feeling to know that I'm essentially "cured". Not 100%, but far enough along the path of self-managing the condition that I don't need to go back.

It's wonderful to hear a doc say they hope they don't see me again.

I've only been seeing this specialist for about two years, but I had a whole lot of dicking around with others who insisted my problem was all in my head before I found her. Years of dicking around and giving up and searching for more answers and being rebuffed once more. So this specialist - an hour and a half in good traffic away - has been a lifesaver.

She's been a relationship saver, too, because this is something that has affected both myself (directly) and N, indirectly. I've been suffering this condition since 2005, and it can't have been easy on him. But despite the strain my untreated condition put on him, on us, he's been my rock. He's come along to all of my appointments, held my hand when they poked and prodded and we've faced this together. It's my issue, but our problem.

And the specialist has commended him on hows supportive he's been through the whole thing. It's partly because of him and how involved he's been that I've responded so well to treatment.

And now I don't have to go back. She's given us the green light to plan for the future, and reassured us that if we continue as we have been, it won't recur.

Six years of pain, gone. It's an amazing feeling to be free of pain.

Day 252 - She’s a Lady
Day 253 - Camouflage
Day 254 - UV Blossom (colour change from white to… what? when exposed to UV)
Day 255 - New Life (sooc)
Day 255 (alt) - He tried to gnaw my foot off!
Day 256 - Field of Daisies
Day 257 - Expensive

===

I have a blood nose. I have no idea why i have a blood nose, whether it's synced itself to my messed up periods (nasal endometriosis?) or it's a weird form of hayfever, or just a byproduct of an aircon office. All I do know is that there's a lot of blood, it's been going for a couple of days now and it's really annoying - I'b all znorgky. I'd see the doc about it, but the last time I did they just shrugged it off as nothing to worry about. I'm using saline spray and pawpaw ointment like they're going out of fashion, but they're not helping much.

Perhaps correlated to the blood nose - I've been so very, very tired of late. Not sleeping well, and plodding through my days in an irritated fug (Not helped by colleague bugging me again). In the evenings, I've been working on christmas presents for people: amigurumi toys, resin jewellery (OMG, I love my UV pigments!) - possibly to sell at markets in the lead-up to the holidays - and so on. But I'd really rather just curl up and do nothing some days.

My dream last night was a doozy:
I was on a plane, in one of the exit aisles, and as the attendants were doing the safety demo, the plane crashed. I asked the attendant if it was real or just a drill (in my dream, fake crashes were acceptable drills), and it was real - so being the exit seat, I got the door open and got everyone out into a hangar. Amongst the other passengers were a redneck man and his toddler son. The man had a gun: a big semi-automatic thing. He did something which upset the toddler, and said toddler grabbed the gun, unlocked it, and started spraying bullets everywhere (kid was savvy enough to unlock the thing, but not to aim). Somehow the man and I calmed the kid down, and got the gun off him, but then the man grabbed my arm, dragged me onto the floor with him, and put the muzzle of the gun under his chin. "You need to see this, this is your fault," he said, starting to squeeze the trigger.....

Then I woke up.

Holy cow.

Day 258 - Shady Lady

Day 259 - Big Bang

A couple of years ago, I saw a Christmas special episode of the Big Bang Theory. In this episode, Penny was wearing the coolest Santa hat imaginable - with two tails. WANT! I got this pattern from Ravelry, and finished it this afternoon. It didn’t quite fit right (FAIL with conversion from US/AUS guages (hey, I’m a beginner knitter!)), so the super-fluffy band was made for it to fit properly.

I’ll get better yarn (not the cheap unknown-ply acrylic I used here) and try to make it again one of these days…

Day 260 - Pupating

Remember the ladybird larvae from last weekend (day 252)? They’re now pupating!

Day 261 - Fallen
Day 262 - Window Adornment
Day 263 - Cup of Sunshine
Day 264 - Up or Down?

===
My ladybirds are still pupating. I've been checking on them every day, because I'm dying to watch one hatch, but so far still incubating.

I'm trying to get back into yoga again. I need it for my back, but I also adore the quiet, spiritual side of things, the deep connection and awareness that it fosters. There are no yoga studios in my area (story of my life, really: no adult dance classes, no yoga, there's a real dearth of body/mind/spirit resources in the outer burbs), so I'm back to a self-paced practice with DVDs. I'd dearly like a teacher, though, who can help me modify certain poses correctly because there are some - basic ones - that I simply don't have the strength in my hands/wrists to do. I'll build up to it, of course, but I do have inherent weaknesses and long-term injuries in my wrists (not to mention being very boob-heavy, a problem for inverted poses!)
Goal for next year: find a yoga class that I can get to.

And despite feeling wonderful from my most recent practice, my headspace is all wrong at the moment. I feel blue. Flat. Desperate to do something to alleviate it. I'd post more but it could have a trigger warning. Suffice it to say it upsets me more to feel so sad for no reason. Put on a brave face to face the day, then let it crumple when I'm at home and only N can see me. And hold me, distract me, until I feel a bit better once more. This sucks.

Day 265 - Love Note Found in a Library Textbook

===

Today, I found a little index card stuffed inside the cover of a book I as cataloging for the library at work. A love note. I'm not sure if it was an unrequited love note or not, because half the writing was in near-illegible script. But it told the tale of a torrid affair in the workplace, presumably without the spouse(s) knowledge.

I know the recipient. I put it back in the book without a word.

Nobody is likely to read it - it's been untouched on the shelf for years. And how can one say they stumbled across such a personal piece of correspondence without causing embarrassment to both parties? Let's pretend it never happened.

===

And on a completely unrelated matter: I have bees.

A swarm decided to latch itself onto my apple tree this afternoon. We only noticed them because I went to check on the ladybug pupae, and was driven back by the swirling buzzing mass attacked to the trunk.

I like native bees (especially the far blue bees - so cute!), and ones in small groups (no more than three!) pollinating my flowers, but a swarm? In suburbia? No thanks. We're a little too built up to get into apiary.

It's also problematic, because the tree swarm is settled is is right next to the cat run. I don't want my kitties stung!

It's a fool's hope, but I really hope they're just roosting for the night and will disperse in the morning. If not, we'll get the number for an apiarist to re-hive them, or an exterminator and do it the more permanent way.

Day 266 - Beez
Day 267 - Apiary is not a Hobby I can get Into
===

We got the apiarist to take away our swarm/hive (they were looking pretty cozy in there) this morning. He had to cut some of the branches of the apple tree to get to them, but despite that it seemed to be pretty straightforward: shake them off the trunk and throw them into a waiting box.

But these things are never that straightforward: bees got upset at the disruption, and he had to resort to smoking them before he could move the Queen. Once that was done, it was just a matter of time to convince the rest of them that the bod was the place to be.

Interestingly, the apiarist said he'd had to remove a similar swarm from a house only a couple of doors down the road. And he surmised that the original hive was within a couple of hundred metres, because the swarms don't travel far.

But all's well that ends well: we've got rid of the swarm, and he's got a fresh Queen and workers for his organic honey farm. Much better outcome than just killing them...

Day 268 - Take Two and Call Me in the Morning. If Headache Persists, Have Another.

Day 269 - Waspish

Day 270 - What the Water Gave Me

Day 271 - Sneaky Hive

Day 272 - Fruit Salad

===

So if you've been keeping up with the BEES thread, you'll know my new neighbours have well and truly moved in. They could at least pay rent! (I'd ask them to help out around the property as well, but they're pollinating my plants, so it's not all bad). I've been documenting them for about a week now, and it's been an interesting experience. The cold nights have been helping me get closer than I ever dreamed I'd dare as they're surprisingly docile right now.

Mind you, they've left deposits of beeswax and I'm starting to suspect there's a comb under that sneaky beeball there, as well.

Time to call the beekeeper once more.

And we've had good news with regards to out falling-down fence, too. One of the neighbouring houses is owned by the Housing Commission, and our adjoining fence is in dire need for repair. It has been for over 12 months now, and trying to get anything out of the Commission has been like pulling teeth. Very slowly. Things were going smoothly - too smoothly - and then back in June they ground to a screeching halt as the wanted a second quote. Most fencers don't want to do the job because it's one relatively short length, and so we've been waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Our calls have been put into the "We'll follow that up for you" basket and never followed up.

But I got a call from them on Tuesday: they're fixing up the property for a new tenant and want to do the fence ASAP - really? Like we have been nagging you for the last year? We've settled on the original quote, we're waiting for confirmation paperwork, and then it's all systems go!

We could have propped up the fence ourselves (or woven a new one!) with all this red tape.

Day 273 - Ikea is a Dangerous, Dangerous Place
Day 274 - Cicada (species unknown)
Day 275 - Golden Hour
Day 276 - On the Right Track
Day 277 - Dandelion

===

Oh, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.

N found out yesterday that come Christmas, he may be out of a job. His contract is up for renewal at the end of the year, and while Department Management want to keep him (heck, they need him), the Head Honchos have decided they need to cut costs. By advertising for high-paying middle-management roles and culling the people on the ground. Of course.

If people take a voluntary redundancy package, he should hopefully be OK; if they don't, well, we'll have some hard times ahead. (I may not be happy in my own career, and it's a bit of a dead-end, but at least it's stable.)

It's the second time this has happened in the past 5 years. The first time, his old department made them all re-apply for their existing roles, and were told nobody would get sacked. Yeah, big fat LIE right there, wasn't it?

Why not sack the useless middle managers who create red tape instead of people doing the actual work? Oh, because that's too logical, isn't it? How can you have an educational facility without teachers?

We had a good long talk tonight about how we'll get through, but it's really put the kibosh on some of our plans. Can we afford to survive on one income if N goes back to study? Can we afford to start planning for a family on my wage? Can I even afford to take that time off work?

We'll see what the next couple of weeks bring...

In the meantime, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.

Day 278 - Every One Counts
Day 279 - Summer Evening Stroll
Day 280 - You. Will. Be. Festiiiive!?!? Cel-e-brate! Cel-e-braaate!
Day 281 - Damselfly
Day 282 - By CandleLight (sooc) (I know, technically cheating as it was taken v. late last night!)

===

So, it's almost a done deal re N's job. F*ck. He's been with this one organisation (in different roles) for eleven years, and this is how they treat him. Sucks. I just want to cry, because it's come out of nowhere, and he doesn't deserve to be treated like this. I guess we've had it good for too long, and it's our turn to bear the burden, but it's still not fair.

We have contingencies, but it's not going to be a very merry Christmas.

In an attempt at getting into the Christmas spirit, we braved Chadstone on the weekend. Scary place this close to Christmas. I put up the Christmas Dalek and bedecked the house in tinsel in the evening, and we had Sil and her hubby around for dinner. The guys played games; us girls crafted.

Sunday was Carols by Candlelight. These particular ones are always awesome: great venue (mosquitoes and mud notwithstanding), mostly good singers, and the band, as always. And fireworks. It's got such an awesome vibe to it, these ones, and next Sundays ones. As long as they're outdoors. Indoor Carols are never as much fun.

Still doesn't feel like Christmas, though.

I think I'll make Speculaas tonight, to try and cheer myself (and N) up.

Day 283 - Speculaas Snowflakes
Day 284 - Stealth Knits(ugh - hard to take a good shot while on a speeding express train wobbling on the tracks!)
Day 285 - Looking At Things From A Slightly Different Perspective
Day 286 - Be Glad (for what?)
Day 287 - Crocheted Camouflaged Cuttlefish
Day 288 - Ooshiny
Day 289 - When you Wish Upon a Star…
Day 290 - Heart’s Alight
===

SO I'm on leave - blissful leave - until early January. Ostensibly to get things sorted before Christmas, but really to give myself a chance to wind down and get out of work-stress mode and into holiday mode.

Gotta say, though, it's not really working this year.

We've had a lot of stress over N's job, and what it'll mean if he does X or Y, what it'll mean for our finance and our plans for the future. And (we think) that's been giving me some unpleasant health issues - I feel ill more often than not. He's made his decision, though, and we'll get by.

Because of all this, though, it really doesn't feel like Christmas. I've done all my shopping (barring grog), helped others - in the role of packhorse - with their shopping, got some lights on the house, finished the handmade gifts, wrapped my presents, made the chocolates, done a good clean and tidy, will do the gingerbread house tomorrow, and am generally so organised it's not funny. But still not feeling the spirit. Poo.

I usually love this time of year.

Day 291 - Gingerbread (If you go down to the woods today, nobody but nobody interrupts the Teddy Bear's Picnic)
Day 292 - Lorikeet in the plumtree
Day 293 - “Helping” with the shopping
Day 294 - Fresh Picked

===

And so this is Christmas. And what have we done?

It's been a rocky road this year, and will be for a few more to come. Some highs, some lows. We've been fortunate for the most part, but it seems to have all caught up with us now. But I've had my rant and my cry, and now am looking forward, to making it work. Can't change it, so make the best of it. What doesn't kill us will make us stronger, right?

On Wednesday, I visited Mum, and we assembled the gingerbread house. We're more than a little sick - every year we have at least one "body" in the house (a tradition which started after a jelly baby fell from a window). After mulling over (and discarding because they were too bad even for us) various ideas, we decided on the theme of Teddy Bears Picnic. The song says you better go in disguise for a reason: nobody interrupts the Bears when they're pick-a-nicking. So we have three bodies, two in the house, and one in the woods.

And because we always put a bit of current affairs/pop culture in it, we also have someone "doing a Molly" out back. Yes, I told you we were warped.

We're going out for dinner with my family tonight. Or, I hope so at least. N is out working on finishing a gift which we planned to give tonight, and time is ticking... It'll be a lovely dinner with cousins and aunts and grandparents and all these generations around one table glittering with the good crystal, the good silver on fresh crisp linen cloths. This is what Christmas dinner is to me: fancy, on the best china, the table heaving with delicious food.

Tomorrow, N and I get to sleep in. We're at his brother's place for lunch/all day which will be a lot more relaxed. And chaotic with dogs and cats and new puppies and all... eep!

If anybody is actually still reading this, I wish you a Merry Christmas with your nearest and dearest, and a [b]safe[/i] and happy holiday season. Here's to 2012!

Day 295 - Dopey Puppy (in a cow suit)
Day 296 - So. Spoiled.
Day 297 - Handmade Lace
Day 298 - Homegrown (Slightly Odd) Carrots
Day 299 - The Elusive Bedhog
Day 300 (yay!) - Monstrous Squash and Purple Capsicums.

===

So I hope you've all had a lovely holiday season, and will have a safe New Year.

My Christmas was, as predicted, hectic. N made it home just in time for us to go out to dinner on Christmas Eve. It's always lovely to see all of mum's side around the table, and with absentee guests on Skype being passed around on a laptop. We see each other so rarely - weddings and Christmas - that it's always a joy to go visiting. There used to be arguments as cousins wound up uncles, but as we've all got older, we've all mellowed. Some of the family are moving to England next year, and have kindly offered us a place to stay if we happen to travel that way.

Driving home on Christmas Eve, we were treated to a light show of epic proportions as lightning rippled across the sky.

Christmas morning was sleepin. Then a call from BiL asking where we were because lunch was being served. Finish making salad, put the finishing touches on the gingerbread, quick shower, load up the car and we got there. Lunch then presents. Oh, I was spoiled rotten:
Florence + the Machine CD
Washington CD
Pirates DVD
Harry Potter DVD
Three really interesting books
Loads of little crafty things
Loads of useful quirky kitchen things
and a Roomba. OMFG. As I posted in another thread, a Roomba has always been on my wishlist of "if only" things. I hate vacuuming, but could never justify the cost or the extravagance of a Roomba. I suspect N had a lot to do with it (they never put who gifts are from on the tags), but he denies having anything to do with it... hmm.

I've been having too much fun doing housework watching the Roomba chase the cats...

We missed the big storms on Christmas Day. Heard about the ginormous hailstones, but by the time it hit us, it was nothing but a lightshow. Little rain, no hail, lots of lightning.

We've really not done much else this holiday. Spent a lot of it getting the RC Dalek for dad finished. Had to make a new body for it because the original was too small for the electronics. Had to make a second new body because the other one was too BIG. We got it finished this evening though. It works: drives (slowly - who knew wool and electrics would be too heavy for the wheels?), ears and eyestalk and knobbly bits all flash at the right time, and makes all the right sort of "Exterminate" noises. (I kept the first alternate body so we can do it again... with more room. Stuffed the original).

And my garden has been going nuts. Veggies are exploding, or growing to insane sizes, or doing all sorts of interesting stuff. Who knew carrots flowered? Or that little pattypan squashes grew to be the size of my head? And the potatoes are almost ready to harvest, the self-sown tomatoes are heavy with fruit and even Audrey II, the sickly passionfruit vine, is thriving. I'd love to have a self-sufficient garden, but we're a very long way from that yet.

Back to work next week. Don't want to go. But someone has to pay the bills...

Day 301 - Happy New Year!
Day 302 - First Visitor of the New Year (aren’t they supposed to be lucky?)
Day 303 - Hot. And getting hotter.
Day 304 - Cool Change
Day 305 - K9
===

Happy New Year!
New years for us was fairly quiet - visiting family during the day, then at BiL's until midnight, when the neighbourhood positively exploded with fireworks. Which are actually illegal in my state (unless you're a licensed operator). Wherever I looked, the sky was bursting with rockets.

Monday was a public holiday. And 40°C (104°F). N and I took refuge in the nearest shopping complex with a cinema as our home is poorly insulated (thank you previous owners who built such a crappy extension) and doesn't have aircon. 33°C (91.4°F) indoors, even with all the blinds drawn and all the fans going full pelt. Too hot for me. I much prefer autumn/spring weather.

Back at work on Tuesday. It's quiet - only 5 people in the office, although I did have to whip out the first aid training as one colleague decided to split his head open. Made for an eventful morning. Turns out the office first aid kit is pretty poorly equipped - essentially a car kit - so I've put in a request for something more useful. I get to renew my training later this month, but I would have preferred not to have had the extra practice!



Here's to a better year than the last turned out to be ...

Day 306 - Looking Out
Day 307 - Globe
Day 308 - Little Treasures
Day 309 - Ice Crystals

===

This has been a weekend of family.

On Saturday, we visited Mum, then took her to see my aunt and uncle, who is moving to England in the next few weeks. Auntie M is selling everything, so they offered us to pick over what she was getting rid of, to give it a good home.

While we were vising with Mum, she told us my grandmother had been rushed to hospital the day before. Pneumonia, chest infections, enlarged heart, unresponsive. At one point it was touch and go, I think...

I went and visited her in hospital today. Thankfully, she's doing better - they took her off oxygen, which is a good start - but she looks so thin and so frail. Hopefully she'll be well enough to be discharged over the next few days, and hopefully her health in general will improve.

I've been terribly fortunate in having most of my family still alive. I lost both of my grandfathers before I was old enough to really comprehend it all I lost my great grandfather when I was a young teenager, and my great grandmother when I was in my 20's. I'm an emotional person, and ill-equipped to deal with loss. The thought of losing Grandma right now - even though I know she's in her mid 80's (great-grandma, her mother, lived to be 96) and has been having health problems for a few years now - is just not something I was prepared for. I had a good cry in N's shoulder last night to get all my fears out of my system.

She'd better get better.

Day 310 - Pods
Day 311 - Drops of Sunrise
Day 312 - My Yarn Habit is Not an Addiction (I can stop anytime I want!)
Yarn: Moda Vera “Ballroom” in white/silver, from Spotlight.

===

Brr! It's COLD today! The middle of summer, and we've had horizontal rain, howling, growling winds so strong they felt like they were going to rip my earrings out, hail, slow in the nearby hills. And did I mention it's summer?

Grandma took a turn for the worse on Monday. Double pneumonia and general confusion. I hope the antibiotics work and she can recover from this.

Today was one of those days where it seems everything went wrong, or was out to make life difficult. People were fractious and inspiration just didn't happen. I spent the majority of the day pacing back and forth between my desk and the printer as I singlehandedly contributed to the deforestation of the planet in the name of providing resources that will be collected but never read. Gotta love it.

N and I finally cooked up our monstrous squash (from day 300). Salted and sauteed with spuds and steak. OMG so good! I hope the plant (vine?) continues to e this healthy when the proper cold weather hits - perfect winter veggie.

And I'm plowing through my craft projects - my quasi-new years resolution was to actually finish all my WIPs. Only six more to go before I can start something new...

Day 313 - What’s Brown and Sticky?
Day 313 (alt) - A Stick Insect!
Day 314 - Speck-tacular
Day 315 - I Is A Ninja (You can’t see me)
Day 316 - Threads

===

Grandma passed away this morning. The nurses said it was peaceful: she told them she was tired, and that was it. She had a good innings: lived independently, had all her marbles to the end, had visited her favourite places one last time and went knowing she was loved by all of us. Can't ask for much more, can you?

I'll miss her terribly.

She was a seamstress, a member of the Embroiders guild, and an amazing crafter. She inspired in me a love of all crafts. As she got older, she crafted less, but passed her legacy to me in the form of supplies: vintage fabrics, beads cut from costumes from when she herself was a dancer, half-finished embroideries and so on. I wish I had half the talent she had for her work.

She was always active in the community. After she retired, she did charitable work: first in her local community and church; then when she moved to a retirement home, among the other residents less mobile and in poorer health than her. She always put others before herself.

She spoiled us grandchildren rotten. We may have been thoughtless when we got older, and not visited her as much as we would have liked, but she knew how much we loved her.. and she loved us in return.

Rest in peace, Grandma.
xxxxx

Day 317 - Fairy Bread Comfort Food
Day 318 - Snalio Iglesias, he slimed me!
Day 319 - I made a Picnic Blankie
Day 320 - Grandma’s Jewellery

===

The funeral and wake are tomorrow. It's going to be a hard, emotional day.

Day 321 - Stop All the Clocks



Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
…
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.




_{(poem source: www.npr.org . . .)}

Day 322 - Tree of Life
Day 323 - I just Love the fact they’re ‘Boil-Proof’!
Day 324 - Mad Stylusin’ Yo!
Day 325 - For your thoughts? (Australian penny, 1951)
Day 326 - Make A Splash

===

The funeral and wake were as Grandma would have liked it. Short, simple, and cakes afterwards. Despite my best efforts, waterproof mascara simply doesn't work. Her ashes were interred on Monday, in the place she loved best on earth.

I spent all day on Saturday down at her unit with Mum, my Auntie and Great Uncle, cleaning out her stuff. So much stuff. She had set aside certain things for each of us (I got her wonderful embroideries and shadow box), but there was so much else unlabelled. We're all being very civilised about it all, so "if nobody else wants X, I can give it a home" and so forth. It was a tough day. I had a bit of a cry when mum gave me back an embroidery I'd made for Grandma - it should still be on her wall, and she should still be around to see it! But aside from that, it was hot, hard work.

Being the only one of her descendants who seriously crafts, I was given the task of cleaning out her crafting cabinet. Boxes and basket and tins full of stuff: Half finished embroideries I'll do my best to complete, quilting projects cut out but not started, canvas, linen, aidacloth, beads, buttons, stamps, stencils, ribbons and threads. And in amongst them all, little treasures.

I found an old photo of an unnamed lady (in the proper sense of the word), who may be my great-great-great grandma. I found buttons from a Postmaster General uniform. I found Victorian Volunteer (pre-CFA) pins dating to the late 1880s. I found early 1900's sewing paraphernalia. I found gramophone styluses (the gramophone itself is going to my Dad). I found old coins and antique christening gowns and silk pillowcases and baby bloomers. And I've barely scratched the surface. I'm trying to get through at least a box a night, but it may take a while.

I've stressed to everyone that if they want something from "the stash" it's theirs - no quibbling. Life's too short to argue over material things.

Day 327 - Happy Australia Day! (You can’t celebrate without a home-made pavlova!)
Day 328 - Facade
Day 329 - Lady (V. old portrait of unidentified family member found in “the stash” )
Day 330 - Vintage sewing needle case circa early 1900s
Day 331 - Brooding

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Busy. It seems everything right now is busy busy busy. Work is busy because I'm doing two people's jobs instead of just my own. (I would say more, but let's not air dirty laundry in a public setting).

Homelife is busy, because as well as the usual day to day stuff, we're still cleaning out Grandma's unit, and sorting through the boxes of things that have been taken to various households. Not to mention I've also been feeling a little off colour, to boot, which could be.. maybe.. something positive... (fingers crossed).

And so by the end of the day, I'm knackered.

Tonight, if it's not raining, I think I'll go for a walk. Then settle on the floor with another box of stuff to sort and consolidate.

I made butter on Thursday just gone. Accidentally. I was whipping cream for the Australia Day pavlova in the old Kenwood, and covered it with a teatowel to stop the splatter. (Note to self: invest in a clear splatterguard). Forgot to keep an eye on it while I was cleaning up the rest of the kitchen, and voila! Butter! And you know, despite not being salted or anything, it's not too bad as butter goes. And really, who knows when one needs to utilise new skills like butter churning?

Day 332 - Slater Eating Spider*

or

The Things You Find when Unclogging the Plughole of Cat Hair.**

OR

How many people actually read this, and give me a show of posts to let me know who is and who isn't freaked out by Slatey here?



* Mostly harmless, but will bite if provoked. Prefer to live in moist dark places like the soil beleat a potplant. Or, apparently, my bathtub plughole.

** Other things included a centipede and a child's purple sparkly toothbrush.***

*** I don't have children. WTF and where did it come from?!?!?!

Day 333 - Blooming
Day 334 - Words Are Precious
Day 335 - Details

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So if anybody has read my TTC thread, you'll know that I'm expecting. Fingers crossed the little sprout sticks. I know it's way early (5 weeks), but I'm all excited. Cautious, but excited. I don't want to get my hopes up too high in case they get shattered...

Aside from our mums (and you wonderful anonymous Internet peeps) we're not telling anyone else until I've seen a doc - next week - and we know all is OK.

Morning sickness is more like daytime-hours-and-after-dinner-sickness for me, and I've a nasty tendency to fall asleep on the couch in the evenings. So very tired; been having strange dreams. I've got the weirdest nerves/adrenaline feeling in my innards, and my uterus happily twinges away doing what it does. Grow, little sprout, grow!

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And in other unrelated news, work is stressing me out. Someone has attempted to throw me under a bus by saying I'm unmotivated, claiming he needs to check my work (not my supervisor!), taking credit for things I do, etc etc etc. And talking about my personal finances, which is none of his friggin' business. He's obviously threatened by me and my capabilities, because he tries it any chance he gets, trying to undermine me in front of the Powers that Be.

And when I met with powers that Be yesterday, I get the feeling she wants to get rid of all the tech stuff I do.. which leaves me with.. what exactly? Will I be bumped up to IT (noooo !) or will I get more diversity in my role? Or will they make me redundant? I;m uneasy. NiecColleagues don't think I've got anything to worry about, so maybe it's jut the hormones making me read too much into things...