Maybe it's because they're building an old folks retirement community behind my neighborhood. Maybe it's because there's a cemetery I pass every single day multiple times as it's on a main road to my house. Maybe it's the funeral home five minutes down the road. Whatever the reason, I've been mulling around and wondering about cemetery plots. How do you pick the cemetery? When should you purchase plots? What happens if you move?

I know it's kind of like buying a car where you make payments until eventually it's paid off and then when you're old and shriveled and wrinkly and decrepit it's a done deal for when you do die. Also seeing as I'm not having kids, it's not like I can just leave it up to them to make sure I'm well disposed of. What of cremation? I'm actually almost more okay about the idea of being cremated than the thought of rotting and turning into goo in a box six feet under.

So, am I morbid in pondering this? Is 31 the right age to go, geez, I might only have forty to sixty some-odd years left, maybe I should start a lay away (*rimshot*) plan now? What are your thoughts? Do you have plans in place? Will you be putting plans in place? Do you want to be buried or cremated and why?

Wait, wait, let me get my little black raincloud...


Fixed!

Seeing as you never know if that bus with your name on it is just around the corner I'd say it's probably just forward planning.

Personally I've never been one for forward planning anyway, I'm more than 10 years older than you and I don't have any funeral plans.

I've never even thought of them, perhaps I should, but why break the habit of a lifetime!

We have a family cemetary, so if my survivors want me in the ground so they can visit me there sometimes, that's cool with me. But I'm cool with being cremated and having my ashes sprinkled in awesome places I've visited, too. Like the Grand Canyon, Diamond Head, the ocean, etc. And if they want me on a shelf, that's cool, too as long as I don't get spilled and vacuumed up or used for kitty litter, lol.

My kids know my feelings on the subject. I was about your age when I began thinking about it. That's when my kids were born and it's a natural thought process, especially when you have kids to not want your demise to be too much of a burden on your survivors.

kk~

My mom has been very clear and adamant about the fact that she wants to be cremated. They live in a town that, had it not been for my dads job, they would have never visited, much less ended up living in. She doesn't want to be buried there, because she doesn't want us to spend the rest of our lives feeling like we have ties to that area.

I personally am also your age, and haven't given it a minute of consideration. :/

My parents bought their plot just after they got married... now my mom doesn't want to be buried there... LOL...
I think that you can sell the plots back.

I have life insurance that's equivalent to one year of my salary so my burial is more than covered in the event of going six feet under. I honestly don't think it's morbid--I think it's good planning. Having seen a co-worker's family struggle to bury a loved one when he passed with next to nothing, I wouldn't want to put my family through that.

Dani

I am not 30-something...

But considering plans for what you want to happen when you die is not morbid at all! It's good planning and can stave off many family battles after death.

I agree... I don't want a full funeral... I would rather just have a nice little memorial service, not in a church, but something more like from the movie PS I love you... I couldn't care less what is done with my body as far as burial is done, I would prefer to be cremated, or whatever is cheapest.

Both my husband's family and mine have generally gone with cremation. Sometimes the ashes are scattered, sometimes buried in a family plot if it already exists, sometimes put on a shelf!

I had one aunt, though, who was shipped in a coffin back to the city where her husband was buried and was buried in the long-ago-purchased plot beside him. She hadn't planned on that, assuming cremation was more practical. However when she finally died her only living descendant, her granddaughter, being sentimental, wanted to see both grandparents' graves together.

I don't know how it is today, but cemetery-plot sales used to be somewhat of a scam. Many got sold at high prices; few were used in the long run. They were difficult or impossible to resell and when they did sell it was at a very low price.

Both my parents ashes were scattered. In my father's hometown, each has a tree planted in their name in a park.

I just say, put me in a cardboard box and throw me on a bonfire, maybe throw a couple of sausages on and make a celebration of it! Then hang on to whatever ashes you can scrounge up out of the fire and throw them into a Tuppaware container and stow me on the next space shuttle to launch and release me to the void that is space.

I really can't see the point of spending thousands of dollars on a casket to see it go up in flames (and I'm not entirely convinced that they don't reef you out of the casket before they put you in the cooker anyway and resell the casket to the next family). I really don't want my funeral to cost anyone anything - I'll be dead, it's not like I'll care how I'm flambed!

I don't think it's morbid. I'm 20 and I know that I want to be cremated and have discussed this kind of stuff with my parents, and they've discussed it with my brother and me. My parents have more detailed wishes, such as where they want their ashes to go, etc. I'm kinda of the mind that I know I want to be cremated, but I don't really care what they do with my ashes, so they can do whatever they want. The only thing I'm adamant about is that my funeral NOT be held at this one particular funeral home in my hometown, just because it's gloomy and dark and I hate it.

My great grandparents bought their tombstones when they retired. My great-grandmother is still alive, over 2 decades later!

EDIT: I'm not 30-something... just 20-something... whoops?

I think pre-planning is smart because you can have your arrangements the way you want them instead of 'how someone sees fit'.

You never know how young or old you will be when you pass, so it is never too young to start planning.

I just finished designing my sons' headstone. On the back is a quote "in our arms for a moment, in our hearts forever'.

My family has a family burial place. I'll probably be put there, I don't know. If my husband can be buried with me, in the event that we both go in old age and/or at the same time then I wouldn't mind being put in the family burial place. We both don't mind cremation, but I think homeboy is actually thinking of putting money away for a freaking mausoleum for me, just in case.

hummingbird wrote:

I'd say it's probably just forward planning.

Yeah, that's me. When I was 15 I had a list that went something like this:

Graduate
Car
College
Graduate
Job
Move Out
Marriage?

And sure enough, check, check, check, check, check, check, and check. So now we have a house and we've almost got it paid off, the cars will be paid off in 5 years or so, we need to get a shed for the backyard and do some home improvement stuff and since we're making a list of stuff we want to pay off in the next ten years, might as well make it comprehensive. As I said, I think it's just the amount of death and decay surrounding my neighborhood that had me pondering it.

I really think I'd want to be cremated, just the idea of rotting for all eternity and being consumed by little bugs and stuff really, really grosses me out. Plus, I'd rather not be a part of the looming zombie apocalypse... I'm also big on having things done the way I want things done, so planning ahead suits me. Not that I'd have anything to say about it after I'm dead, but meh. I like the idea of a tree being planted in remembrance, that's a great way to give something back to the earth and also be a memorial of sorts. Hmm, time to make a new list?

I haven't given it any thought, mostly because I have some mental issues with the whole dying thing, but my best friend's plan always makes me laugh. She's terrified of being buried or burned alive, so she's donating her body to this forensics farm that studies bugs eating bodies, and they just put the bodies out in the open, or up on pedestals, to study what happens as the bugs eat the bodies. That way, if she isn't really dead, she can just get up and walk away. At least she has a plan, I guess.

Back when I was in high school, my parents bought four lots...for them and presumably for me and whomever my wife was to be. This was a private cemetary outside my hometown (and I live nowhere near there now.) When my father died some 22+ years ago, Mom decided she wanted him (and her) to be buried in the city-run cemetary and he was and she has a plot there as well.

She remarried and still is alive at 91. She doesn't get back to the home town so she asked me to investigate with the firm that runs the cemetary where they bought the plots some 50+ years ago.
I contacted them. It has changed hands several times. No records of this, nada. The only thing I have is my memory of when the saleman came to the house as I was in the next room. I knew who the guy was, he went to my church and his kid was in my confirmation class. The plots were supposed to be next to my uncle and aunt who purchased from the same guy about the same time. When my uncle died two years ago at 94, again, no record. I have no idea where my mom might have put any receipts of this and 50 year old checks are a bit hard to come by. Mom just wanted me to liquidate them as I saw fit. I have no interest in being buried there. So, it was just a total write off for our family. As I recall it wasn't a huge sum, $4-500, but it made me a bit wary of a committment of that duration. My parents would have been in their late 30's/ early 40's when this took place. Dad died at age 71. Somebody has had a lot of use of that money and the $4-500 I seem to remember as the cost would provide a lot of investment money to someone over that time.

Jon

I use the approach of just randomly reminding people that I want to be cremated and at some point in my memorial play "Tuesday's gone with the wind" and "The best is yet to come." I tend to bring it up at family gatherings after we have polished off some wine.

That's my funeral insurance for now. We need to beef up our savings and pay off some debts from our recent financial struggles before I get funeral insurance.