I dont know if some person here has been asked often that boring question specially after your younger brother got married few months ago and you are the last single guy among your friends and family and being in your mid 30´s.or even the worst one question that friends and sometimes family discuss: "what is wrong with this guy?".For the first question: Marriage for me it is a very important choice and decision isnt any thing superficial such as picking apples at the grocery stores, it is a decision that involves 2 persons in a relationships with different backgrounds and lifestyles.for the second question: there is nothing wrong to be single, it isnt a disease but when you dont know how to be attractive or you are accostumed to be alone things are harder to do on the date scene. Any opinions, comments, critics, advice about those lame questions that currently I listen more often around myself ?
Thanks

Well for me people were asking me because they all realized my long term relationship was NEVER going to end up in marriage. I was the one with blinders on...only seeing what I wanted to see and hearing what I wanted to hear. People all around me knew that my boyfriend of 7 years had no plans to marry me long before I came to that conclusion and finally gave him an ultimatum. In my case they were just trying to make me see it and think about it.

You could tell people you aren't finished interviewing people for the job of being your wife yet, I'm in consultations with my astrologer, or I'll be sure to let you know. (Deflection with humor sometimes works.)

A simple answer...when the right one comes along, when the time is right for me, or someday!

People don't realize they come off as rude when asking such things, so understand they are probably asking because they generally care about you living happily ever after or they are making small talk. Neither is bad.

My fiance is four months from his 37th birthday, and a month from his first trip down the aisle. Believe, I've got the king of the waiters on my hands. Unless you're like 50, you don't hold a candle to him. My brother is 34, and doesn't even have a prospect, much less a ring.

Just go "Listen, I only ever plan on getting married once, so I want to be sure that I'm picking the right girl." and walk away. They can't engage you or your "quirks" in conversation if you aren't standing there. If walking away isn't viable, change the subject. But when you use that line, mean it, because that's the same line my fiance fed me for a long time, just to get me off his case. And yes, the fact that I waited for him is something of a miracle, isn't it?

I'm a little sad for your self-esteem though, that you say you don't know "how to be attractive".

Hii thanks for your answers, I really appreciate them. I specially like the answer that uses humour, it suits more my personality By the way it is not the fact that " I dont know how to be attractive" it is more the fact that " I dont know how to talk in an attractive way to women and engage them in a nice chat", cause I always repeat myself in front the mirror: " I am attractive and I will find the right one soon or later ". So maybe it is more a lack of experience rather than a lack of self esteem.

It's not just a "30 something guy thing"; there are 30 something gals who hear this, too. Honestly, I think humor is your best weapon. Make a joke of it and change the subject. Quite frankly, it's really no one's business whether you plan to marry or not and what that time line looks like. I suppose that most of the people who mention it to me are people who care about me, but for some reason they don't understand that I have everything under control.

What I find interesting is that singlehood has allowed me to have very different experiences from those who married in their 20's. It's interesting how my mother (love her to pieces) thinks that I missing out on something so important, but doesn't recognize the experiences that I have had that she didn't have at my age (some that she's never had.)

Maybe I will marry... maybe I won't. I'm not stressed about it. I happen to really LOVE being single and don't understand why others can't appreciate my happiness.

As far as talking to women (if you want my two cents.) EVERYONE loves to talk about themselves and loves to feel like someone cares and is interested. So, if you find yourself in a conversation that is rocky, ask the woman a question and let her answer. Listen to what she's saying and carry forth appropriately. Trust me, she will find that more attractive than any "sexy talk" that you may think that you need. (Actually, that usually comes off as pretty creepy.) Talk to me like I'm one of your friends and if sparks are meant to happen, they will.