Hi everyone,
I'll be 30 in Nov and really feeling awful about turning 30. I am single, have been single all throughout my 20s, and I know it's stupid to think this way but I really feel like I'd be perfectly happy turning 30 if only I were married.

In order to sort of deal with this crisis (and also because it makes sense with my life and with the economy right now), I am considering buying a house in the fall when my lease is up on my apt.

I would only get a townhome, because I don't need a huge house and yard, but I REALLY want something bigger than my 600 sq foot apt. I just feel like at my age, I shouldn't be living in a lame apt.

My question is this: has anyone purchased a home without being married? It seems SO overwhelming to go through this process alone and pay for it alone, but I can't spend my life waiting for someone to come along and not live. Is it possible to pay for it all and still be comfortable? It just seems like SO MUCH to pay for on my own.

(PS I'm a 5th grade teacher, if that makes any difference, so I don't make much money).

If anyone has any words of wisdom or encouragement, I'd really appreciate it. I"m feeling really depressed and overwhelmed about it right now.

1. You are young enough and economically stable enough to buy a fixer-upper, so consider a foreclosure.

2. Finance preferably with an established credit union. If not available, resort to an established bank (not the largest). But never go with an obscure mortgage company even though it has the lowest rate per the weekly newspaper guide. Mortgage companies, and sometimes banks, have more ways of dropping the ball than you can imagine.

Go and see a financial advisor, most banks have them, but I think you're being very sensible, I agree with looking at foreclosures. At the moment you should be able to get some good deals what ever you look at, it's a buyers market.

Me me me- I've been there:) Although I'm divorced and 32 and teach first grade, not fifth. It really does suck going through all of it alone. I had bought a house with the ex but pretty much picked the one I wanted and zoned out for the rest since he was a financial whiz and I am quite the opposite. Anyways, after the divorce I moved out and decided to buy instead of rent since nowhere in my area would accept my 120 pound dog. I bought a townhouse which was a short sale but in excellent condition. The kitchen needed updating but that was about it.

My advice is to find a friend or financial advisor that you trust and just tell them that you are nervous about it and listen to any and all advice. I was lucky that my realtor was my parent's neighbor so I trusted her to have my best interests but I flat out told her that I needed "hand holding" and extra explanations of rates, points, types of mortgages. She was able to do this without making me feel stupid.

PM me if you want to talk anything through- sound like we're in the same boat:)

This is a very good time to buy a home, with the nexus of low prices and historically low interest rates. There are also tax benefits to owning your own home. That said, be sure this is something you want to take on alone. Plenty of women do it; I own my own home as single (divorced) mom of two kids. But at the risk of stating the obvious, you will be responsible for maintaining it. That means the lawn work, the heating system, snow removal, everything. You either do the work yourself or you pay someone to do it. I've learned to do a lot myself, and I've also learned which jobs I will gladly pay others to do.

I'm a realtor. If you have any questions about the process, the costs involved, or anything at all, feel free to PM me. If you decide you want to explore further, talk to a financial planner to make sure this makes sense for you. And then I'd talk to a good mortgage loan officer. Check with colleagues and friends for names of good ones. Your local bank is often your best bet. Ask about their first-time buyer programs. Some communities, and some banks, offer downpayment grants for teachers, firefighters and police officers who buy homes in the communities in which they work. You may have to take a first time buyer course in order to qualify for the funds, so it's good that you have some time before your lease expires. Good luck. I'm here if you have questions.

You are the mirror of my daughter who is also a fifth grade teacher. Althought she is now 44 and married with two kids age 5 and almost 3 she didn't get married until she was 37. At 35 she bought her second and current home, a townhome. She had owned a condo before that that she bought at age 26. She sold that when she had a chance to house sit for free for four years.
She had an affair in her 20's (actually started at 19) with an older guy, but after 10 years realized it wasn't going anywhere.

She eventually married her husband, a divorce who at the time had a teen daughter for whom he had sole custody (the daughter is now 21 and really is out of the picture.) Her husband is really the brother of a fellow teacher who set her up with him. He is five years older. Truth be told, we had almost given up on her getting married, but late marriage is getting to be something of a norm now.

As she did, you first need to talk to a mortgage loan officer for an evaluation of your financial posture. In many school systems there is an affiliation with a credit union and they often have some of the best rates. Assuming you have a decent financial posture, now is an excellent time to buy. I would caution a bit about foreclosures. At least in this area (Washington, DC suburbs) the vast majority of forclosures are in less than desireable areas so do some homework there. Once you have an evaluation from a financial institution as to what they will allow you to purchase, then you can engage a realtor with your requirements. Be wary of "creative financing" deals. That was how a lot of people got way over their heads and lost their houses. Also forclosures are notoriously slow in getting the bank (who owns the forclosed property) to agree to a price. A lot also depends upon geography. Here in this area, we are one of the few areas which have had modestly increasing prices, though prices are lower than the were in the early 2000's. Conventional wisdom holds that teachers are pretty stable for employment.

Good luck with your hunt.

Jon

A townhome is a good option for someone not used to maintaining their own house. Of course there will be some upkeep; however the Home Owners' Association (HOA) will take care of things like lawncare/landscaping, snow removal, probably roofing, and other external repair/maintenance tasks. Of course you will pay a monthly fee to the HOA to do this; however the upkeep will probably take less of your budget, this way, than if you were a lone house-owner contracting to have work done, yourself. But you do need to ask about the HOA fees and find out what you get for this money.

Also, a good real-estate agent can help pre-qualify you for a loan BEFORE you even start looking for places so that you look at appropriate units and will have no problem immediately putting in a solid offer on a really good deal when you find one.

I've been married for...well, just forever. So I've never bought a home on my own, alone. However there are plenty of young women (and young men) who have. It's not that big a hurdle. Though I have to also say that when you are in the midst of all the paperwork and getting ready for the closing date it can get really stressful. Just tell yourself that you've done your homework, made a logical decision, and are going to follow through.

I have PMed you

As an additional thought, you might take a look at some of the home buying shows on the HGTV Channel. Most are for single family homes "House Hunters", for example, but there are also shows like "Property Virgins" and "My First Place." They are not applicable to every situation and typically the "buyers" on the show are shown looking at three places (in fact most people look at a lot more) but it gives you some idea of the thought process for selection,and a bit about the negotiation process("Property Virgins" particularly does this.) You can at least get a feel for what it is all about from these shows. Saying that, I will also tell you that my wife and I have bought two houses plus a condo we bought for our kids' use during college, which 25 years later we still own and rent out...it is 1000 miles from where we live. My wife essentially bought our first place...a townhouse..without me being there (I came after work later in the day to sign the paperwork. It was about all we could afford at the time.) Three years later, our second and present house was the third one we casually looked at. I went to see it during the day (I was working night shifts at the time), went to my wife's school to pick her up and the kids from their after school sitter and said "Let's buy a house." We spent about 15 minutes in the model (new construction) and bought it that day, occupied it about 9 months later. We've been here 38 years now. While the place has long been paid for, we have just done remodeling equal to about twice what we paid for the place.

As for the condo next to our kids' college campus...my then-18 year old daughter talked to the realtor first. (Talk about an apprehensive agent) and picked out 3-4 places. Then my wife flew out from Washington, DC area where we live to Madison, WI where our two kids were in college, bought the place at the end of my daughter's first year (my son's 2nd year) for closing during the summer break, and flew back the same day. In that summer, we bought a lot of knock down IKEA furniture, borrowed a van, drove to Madison, settled on the place at noon and immediately spent the next week setting up the place for our kids, mostly assembling furniture. Our kids were elsewhere on their summer jobs. The realtor said she was VERY glad to see my wife get off that airplane. She really never had very many 18 year old "clients" to show houses and condos to. We were grateful she put trust in our daughter and her story that her parents wanted to buy a place near campus.

Jon

I feel for you! I am younger (24) but am planning on buying a house on my own next year. I've been saving up for it for a couple years. The whole process seems SO overwhelming to me too.

Thank you all so much for all of the info. You have all made me feel like this is possible.

I live in Florida so I won't have to worry about snow removal, but I do plan on getting a townhome or condo so I don't have to worry about the lawn, and also because I just don't need that much space. I'd be fine with 2 bedrooms.

So I just want to get this straight, the order of things:

1.Talk to a loan person
2.Get a realtor (my co-worker is going to give me the number for his)
3.Look at places

Am I right?

That's a very good start.

Yup, you've got it. When you talk to a loan person you will want to bring some recent pay statements and perhaps a couple of years' tax returns. Then make up a statement of your assets and liabilities...savings, investments, balances owed (credit cards, automobiles, student loans etc.) so the loan officer can check you financial bona fides. Don't worry about credit scores, they can find those quicker than you can. (The same is true, as I found out, for auto dealers. One came back to me once even before I actually signed to buy the car and said "Wow, you have one of the highest credit scores I've ever seen. They knew this as soon as I got the keys for a test drive.)

You should have pretty good luck in Florida as the real estate market there has pretty much tanked as badly or worse than anywhere in the country, but as a teacher...they know that you won't go away or are terribly likely to lose your job.

Remember though, that unless you specifically contract a real estate person as a buying agent (rather rare, acutally), 99.9% of the realtors are representing the SELLER in every legal sense of the word. They will be nice to you of course, but they are getting their money from the seller. As long as you understand this relationship you will be fine.

Make any sale conditional upon a house inspection (you have to pay for that.) But get it. Make sure the house inspector has some sort of national credentials and ask how many inspections he PERSONALLY has done.

Jon

If you have a friend who is a realtor, you could get some good advice specific to your market. Or ask some fellow teachers who they would recomend.

My sister is a waitress who bought her own home as a single. You can do it if you get the right financing. Not sure if this has been mentioned but check into insurance, too.

Do you have a down payment saved up?

kk~

I have about $6,000 saved right now and will hopefully have more than $7,000 by the fall. I don't know if that's enough. That's actually the thing that's stressing me out the most. I am pretty responsible with my money but I've had a lot of medical bills in the last year from a lot of different surgeries. That's where most of my money has gone lately, but I'm sure my credit score is pretty good.

CHaconne, when you talk about making up a statement, do you just mean typing something up myself, or does it have to be official?

I also don't have a bank or credit union down here; I'm still using the credit union I was a part of up north before I moved because my mom works there. I'm going to have to look into that.

At this point you can just type something up. They may ask for offical stuff later. You are just in the talking and "what if" stage now. Somethings, like credit card balances will be part of the credit report they will ultimately get.

Most of the time, the figure you will be quoted for your monthly mortgage will be PITI (Principal, Interest, Taxes, and Insurance.) Your mortgage lender often will require you to have the first year or six months of insurance paid. They will hold an amount in escrow so that they know you have the money to pay for the insurance on the dwelling. You can get your insurance from any company but when you get the semi-annual bill you give the bill to the mortgage company to pay it. This is their insurance that their interest against loss is protected. The same is true with taxes. You normally have to prepay some taxes at settlement (this will depend upon the jurisdiction) but the lender will keep the next year's, or whatever period your local government decrees, in escrow based upon their estimate of what your yearly taxes will be. Each month they will collect 1/12th of the next years estimated taxes. Some credit unions do not require this (mine doesn't or didn't...my house is paid for)...they allow you to budget your own tax payments and insurances. BTW, when a house is paid for, it is all up to you...I will presume this won't happen to you for quite some time. The lender will also make year adjustments if the property tax rate changes or you insurance changes.

Interest rates now are at historic lows, so try to lock into a 30 year mortgage with no prepayment penalties. I never had a mortgage rate as low as what they are charging now. I did refinance my mortgage several times in the course of paying for it. I changed lenders a couple of times, refinanced when rates dropped, refinanced to secure the down payment for the condo I bought for my kids when they were in college BTW, they had two roommates whose rent more than paid the monthly mortgage...aside from my down payment, none of the equity I have in that place came from my own money. I still rent it to students at that university. Even now, with my house fully paid off, I have an equity line mortgage against it which we use for big ticket items such as buying cars. This is currently the only way I can get a tax deduction on the interest I pay now. The E-line is secured by the house which is the test for US deductibility.

By all means look into that credit union. Not all will finance out of area. My Maryland credit union - associated with my former employer - wouldn't finance the place I own in Wisconsin, for example - or at least not when I bought it. I am a firm believer in member-owned credit unions.

Make sure you understand how a mortgage amortization table works. At the beginning of a mortgage almost all of it will be interest. This is OK, it will be deductible on your taxes. You can also get a big savings by permitting your payments to be bi-weekly rather than monthly as it causes the amortization to be faster. The benefit of a no prepayment policy is that at some future time you can accelerate your payments. Any additional monies you spend go directly to reducing the principal.

This is not all that complicated when you understand the process. It would also be wise to educate yourself on general economic principles by reading a current book on personal finances. Any sizable bookstore will have these. I've been impressed with those by Suze Ormann.

Jon

I'm also a fan of member credit unions. Mine has never turned me down and my credit score is not excellent.

kk~

See if the mortgage banks in your area have a "pre-approval" program. This will give you a point of comparison to what the real estate people tell you is "affordable".

As far as your savings, the banks usually give you a "good faith" estimate of closing costs, and you'll need to consider this as well as your down payment.

Although it is true that this is a buyer's market, real estate is always shaky when the economy is tough. Taxes are going up here and teachers are being asked to give back their automatic pay raises, so your caution is just smart thinking.

I wish you luck with what every you decide, but I do want to commend you for proceeding with caution. When my husband and I bought our first home we had a "three year plan". Huge increases in property taxes, an economic downturn, and a huge increase in the cost of energy (heating oil and electricity) turned the three year plan in to a thirteen year plan. If things go well, financially, you may be able to sell your townhouse if you need to, or want to, in as few as 4 or 5 years. If things don't, you may be tethered to it (financially speaking) for longer.

Although you seem to be longing for this kind of stability and adult commitment, maybe you might like to keep your life a little more "liquid" for a while. Turning 30 isn't nearly as painful as you fear it will be.

Good luck

Keep On Dancing*


Good luck

Keep On Dancing*

Hi everyone!
I ended up talking to the dad of one of my students, who is a realtor. He ended up finding me a place within a week and I've already closed on it! It is a brand new townhome that will be ready in the fall. I'm very excited. Thank you all for your encouragement!

WoooHooooo and congratulations to you on your place! It is nice when parents of teachers' students look out for the teacher. As I mentioned, my daughter is a teacher and my wife is a retired principal and both received many courtesies for parents in their schools.

Jon

That's fantastic news, now all you need is the bottle of bubbly to crack when you move in

I’m so happy for you.
A few “gifts” for your new home.



A loaf of bread, that you may never go hungry.



A box of salt, that your home and your life will have flavor.



A bottle of wine, that joy and prosperity will be yours forever.



A jar of honey, so you will remember the sweetness of life.



Candles, so you will have light in the darkest times.

My very best wishes for you in your new home.

Keep On Dancing*

Congratulations! How exciting!