Forum: Advice / Girls & Guys

Help With a Boy That Doesn't Dance
By OverTheBridge
On Thu May 26, 2011 05:40 PM

Hello, I would like some help with an internal debate I've been having for some time now.
I like a boy that I know. We're sort of friends, and I'm pretty sure he likes me. I am a young teenager and I do not really want to pursue a serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
But here's the issue. Dance is my life. I am a very competitive Irish dancer and I also take ballet, pointe, tap, and jazz. I'm worried that if I tell him my feelings, and if he possibly feels the same way, it will be an issue because of my crazy hectic dancing schedule. I'm also worried that he will not understand how much dance means to me.
Sorry if this doesn't make sense, but I really could use some advice. Should I tell him, or shouldn't I? And how should I?
Thank you.

9 Replies to Help With a Boy That Doesn't Dance

re: Help With a Boy That Doesn't Dance
By AlwaysOnStagePremium member
On Thu May 26, 2011 06:57 PM
If he's your friend with a hectic schedule, I'm not sure what the problem is. It seems like he doesn't have a problem with it. Unless, of course, you are more worried about yourself-- does the relationship you hope for require you to spend more time than you can/want away from dance?
re: Help With a Boy That Doesn't Dance
By OverTheBridge
On Fri May 27, 2011 01:01 PM
Edited by OverTheBridge (236179) on 2011-05-27 13:01:48
We are not really friends, we're more like buddies- we're in a lot of classes together (he sits next to me in one) and we chat, but I never see him outside school and we each have our own seperate friend groups.
re: Help With a Boy That Doesn't Dance
By Louisemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri May 27, 2011 02:03 PM
You don't want to pursue a serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with him so...what's the issue? You're worried about telling him your feelings but you haven't actually told us what your feelings are. You like him, but you don't want a boyfriend. What DO you want from him?
re: Help With a Boy That Doesn't Dance
By OverTheBridge
On Fri May 27, 2011 02:34 PM
Edited by OverTheBridge (236179) on 2011-05-27 14:35:36
Edited by OverTheBridge (236179) on 2011-05-27 14:36:05
I'm sorry, I must sound weird and incompetent. Being a new member, you know...
Anyway, it's a weird personal thing, but I think it would be less awkward (which it can be) between us if I told him. I also just feel like I'm hiding something from him. I DO like him. A lot. I just feel like I'm too young and busy for a serious relationship.
Sorry that this sounds so strange.
re: Help With a Boy That Doesn't Dance
By AlwaysOnStagePremium member
On Fri May 27, 2011 02:45 PM
You have a crush. That's not strange, that's life. Everyone here has had a crush. We understand.

However, I don't think that telling him would make things less awkward. Well, I should correct that...you may feel better, but he will feel more awkward: after all he goes from 'buddy' to "the guy you tell that you like him, but you don't want anything from him because you are too busy with dance". I really think that's unfair to him. If you want to hang out with him as a friend outside of school, put a group together to go do something and invite him into the group. It sets a precedent as an outside-of-school-friend.

But telling him your hormones like him but you don't want to change your life to do anything about it...not the best idea.
re: Help With a Boy That Doesn't Dance
By OverTheBridge
On Fri May 27, 2011 04:18 PM
Edited by OverTheBridge (236179) on 2011-05-27 16:20:25
Okay, I get what you're saying. I DO like him, it's not just hormones. I would probably come off the wrong way by saying, "I need more time for dance than you." I will think about this. Thanks so much.
re: Help With a Boy That Doesn't Dance
By Cadbury_Eatermember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Jun 03, 2011 07:04 AM
I'm not sure how old you are, but you sound young.

It sounds like you have a crush, but there's no point telling him if you don't want to pursue anything out. It will just make awkwardness.
re: Help With a Boy That Doesn't Dance
By Remeber_my_namemember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Wed Jun 08, 2011 04:01 PM
Hey,

Aw man I remember the days of having crushes on boys at school! So here is what I would do...

Ok, so you don't have enough time for a serious relationship. That's cool, you're young, you don't need to be worrying about having relationships! But of course being into boys is totally natural, so instead of worrying about him being a potential boyfriend, why not just make the effort to become better friends with him? It could be the case that once you get to know each other you realise you don't like him in THAT way, just as a friend. OR it could be that you guys really click and it develops into something more (in which case if he was worth being your boyfriend he'd understand how important dance was to you). Do you have any free time outside of school? Could you arrange a group of people to do something/hang out somewhere then casually invite him along. Like "hey, I really enjoyed that chat we had in class/at lunch/during whatever the other day! Me and (insert group of people involved) are going to (insert activity) tomorrow/at the weekend/after school and wondered if you'd like to come?" If you're nervous about asking him to hang out with your friends because he has a different group of mates you could even suggest he brings along his friends... Just a suggestion!

Good luck :)
Naomi x
re: Help With a Boy That Doesn't Dance
By OverTheBridge
On Thu Jun 09, 2011 01:26 PM
Remeber_my_name wrote:

Hey,

Aw man I remember the days of having crushes on boys at school! So here is what I would do...

Ok, so you don't have enough time for a serious relationship. That's cool, you're young, you don't need to be worrying about having relationships! But of course being into boys is totally natural, so instead of worrying about him being a potential boyfriend, why not just make the effort to become better friends with him? It could be the case that once you get to know each other you realise you don't like him in THAT way, just as a friend. OR it could be that you guys really click and it develops into something more (in which case if he was worth being your boyfriend he'd understand how important dance was to you). Do you have any free time outside of school? Could you arrange a group of people to do something/hang out somewhere then casually invite him along. Like "hey, I really enjoyed that chat we had in class/at lunch/during whatever the other day! Me and (insert group of people involved) are going to (insert activity) tomorrow/at the weekend/after school and wondered if you'd like to come?" If you're nervous about asking him to hang out with your friends because he has a different group of mates you could even suggest he brings along his friends... Just a suggestion!

Good luck :)
Naomi x


Thank you so much! :)

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