Forum: Advice / Girls Only PG-13

Starting the action?
By Martha_Cecillemember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Tue Jun 14, 2011 06:59 AM

Hey girl!

I know that there are no "how to"s allowed in this section, so I try to make myself clear here, because that is not what I am looking for.

I talked about that with my boy last night and it is kind of bothering me :)

He would like it if I would start the action in bed more often.
So, we are great in bed together. Take care for each other, speak about ideas, fears etc. but when it comes to me starting the whole action I kind of lose my confidence, a bit.
I think I am clumsy when I am in charge of the action. Well, I think I am. I fell of the bed while changing positions, I bite to hard, little accidents.
My boy is totally happy with my actions so I really only make up this whole clumsy thing. But I can't get over it and give it another try become harder everytimes I think I did something wrong.

I have no problem with verbalising what I like/ don't like or dirty talk etc.
I try to take small steps like making up senarios, or lounge myself in bed when he can see it. Most times I don't notice that I suddenly have all the strings in my hands and then it's no problem at all, it's just a problem to get the whole thing started.
The problem also is that I am happy with what I get. If we cuddle I enjoy it, if we kiss I enjoy it. I am more a "moment"-girl than a "oh we could also do that"-girl. My boyfriend knows that. I miss the opportunity to start sex and then it's again on him to start.

So now, I would like to hear some of you ideas! Do you know those "problems"? How built you up your confidence on this topic? Any tips to notice a situation that could led into sex? Are you a starter?

5 Replies to Starting the action?

re: Starting the action?
By Theresamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Jun 14, 2011 08:12 AM
As for the "taking charge" issue - there's a reason guys get excited when girls do it - it's awkward and hard! They get wore out being the only one that's taking on all that work! So you feel awkward because you SHOULD. As for falling out of bed - move the action toward the center of the bed. Crisis averted. ;)

To get my guy started, pretty much all I have to do is tell him what I wish he was doing. That's about all that takes. :)
re: Starting the action?
By Martha_Cecillemember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Tue Jun 14, 2011 10:35 AM
hey theresa, thanks for your response!
but I have to comment it right away:
So, happily, my guy doesn't have to do all the work.
The only thing that is hard for me is to start sex, I have no problem with doing the work just start the work is a problem.
It's just like I always miss the change to start something.

For example, it's a lazy morning, it takes us ages to eat breakfast, we cuddle it would be the perfect time for sex and I just ly there thinking "that's so wunderful, it's so great that we have this time together, the sun is shining, the flowers grow, blablabla"
Starting the action would be touching him, taking of his close. means a real physical action.
The idea of sex doesn't accure on me. And I think it's kind of wired to set a timer on my phone like "time for sex :)".

I also have no problem to talk him into sex. So your idea of telling him what I want is great, but I already do it and I also don't think it's "starting the action" because if I tell what I want him to do, he ends up doing all the action.

uhh, a long post again, sorry
re: Starting the action?
By Theresamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Jun 14, 2011 10:57 AM
"Starting the action" is actually removing his clothing?! Holy cow, you've got big notions of what all this means...
re: Starting the action?
By CheesePlusCakemember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Wed Jun 15, 2011 04:22 PM
She meant to tell him those things to turn him on, not to get him to do all the work... I think your guy just wants you to show that you're in the mood, and telling him what you want done to you would show him that you are in the mood, and get things going. You don't have to actually touch to start the action :P
re: Starting the action?
By noonemask
On Tue Aug 09, 2011 07:30 PM
well when you are making out just get on top and imagine you or on a bike. that's what i did the first time he asked me to start it. it was really embarrassing but once you start its actually pretty fun. Just remember to enjoy it.

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