My eyes are literally burning I am so pissed!!!

My grandpa passed away the week before last and my dad, who is on disability and a fixed income, is the only one who went to the nursing home every night and/or to the hospital when he was in there. When my grandpa had his life insurance set up it was supposed to have duel/equal beneficiaries- my dad and one of his brothers. Somehow it got set up incorrectly and with a primary (brother) and secondary (my dad). After my grandpa's death, my dad was the only child to show up at the funeral home to make the arrangements. He was the only one who did all the leg work to make everything happen. He signed the life insurance policy over to the funeral home and set it up so the remainder would be split amongst all the children. He was unaware of the mistake at this time.

Yesterday, a full week later, my dad receives a phone call from the life insurance company who informed him of the error. Thinking it would be no problem since my uncle is an honest, trust worthy person- he contacts my uncle. Then he finds out my uncle had already been notified a couple days ago and at which point he hired his own attorney to 'secure his inheritance'. He is refusing to sign over the policy to the funeral home or contribute any $$$ towards it. He is also refusing to split it amongst the children. He is keeping it all for himself in a high interest investment savings plan. The funeral home stated that my dad is responsible for all costs since he signed the dotted line and now has 30 days to come up with nearly $10K. My dad is only child on disability and the rest of his siblings are all better off, especially the brother who is keeping the money- he is very well off before the $$$ from the insurance policy.

I am so upset. This is ridiculous. Anyone know what he can do?

He probably needs an attorney to straighten this one out. They would have to go to the original application for the insurance to see what was set up then. The insurance company would then have to provide an audit trail of how the insurance was modified; or, if this was an administrative error. If a will was rewritten; or, if an assignment of benefits was modified, he will have to find out by whom, when and was your grandfather in full possession of his faculties when it was done.

If the policy was modified during the later stages of your grandfather's illness, a suit for "undue influence" could be initiated (This happened years ago to a great aunt of mine...her late husband was a member of a cultish religion and they got him to sign his will to give all his assets to them, to the exclusion of my great aunt. She sued and won, and when she died actually provided for my own grandmother and her siblings. Some trickled down to my father eventually.)

As for the funeral home, they can't get blood from a turnip. They will probably have to stand in line like everybody else, though legally I suspect your father is liable. I'm actually working an issue like this right now regarding my mom (who is still alive.) I want her to prepay for her funeral now (she is expecting me to pay from my inheritance whenever that happens),but there is a survivor clause for joint assests with my stepfather, based upon a pre-nup. I'm her only heir and I don't want to get stuck holding the bag if I have to wait for my stepfather to die before I get what I'm entitled to. Both of them are currently 91. I suspect my stepfather and stepbrother are honorable people, but I don't want to leave that to chance. They are both in the state my mom resided in and I'm not.

Short of a change of heart on your uncle's part, I can't see this being resolved without some legal action, sorry to say.

You should also find a will and see who is executor. The executor is the one who should be overseeing the disposition of this. If he didn't have a will, the state in which he resides will have an "intestate" will. That means the state has a "cookbook" to determine what course of action is taken in the event of a person dying without a will. In short, everyone has a will whether they participated in it's writing or not. Every will I've ever seen, including my own, usually starts out with a clause that whatever assests are left, the first thing to be paid from those assets are final medical and funeral expenses, before anything else gets divided up or assigned. This could vary from state to state, but an attorney is the one to straighten this one out. It may end up with your father having to sue his brother, and perhaps everyone suing the insurance company.

Jon

Unfortunately Jon is right-your father is in a tricky spot. First thing to do is find out if he had a will. The will may specify that funeral expenses are to be paid out of the estate. That does not relieve your dad from paying the funeral parlor-it just means he is entitled to reimbursement from the estate.

If there is no will the state in which your granpa lived will have its own rules about how his assets should be distributed. If he had a living spouse it would probably go 100% to her-if your granma is dead it is probably divided evenly among his children

In either of the above events since your uncle seems to be uncooperative it may be necessary to get an atty involved to oversee distribution. Of course this reduces the amount of assets available for distribution

As far as the- insurance policy goes it will be exceedingly difficult if not impossible to have its terms modified. Even if the intitial application had both your dad's and uncle's names on it at some point in the process it showed just your uncle's name. Presumably your dad received a copy of it as issued or annual statements with the notice a premium was due. The insurance company sent him any such records and he did not correct it it will be presumed that he approved it. Unfortunately lots of people do not keep up with the benificary of different policies, investments which leads to the situation where a long divorced wife inherits over a 'newer' wife simply bc the husband forgot to change all the benificiary documents. It will be VERY expensive to take this to court.

If your dad signed the invoice, he is solely responsible no matter what the will says. He may have recourse to sue for reimbursement, but that has nothing to do with his debt to the funeral home.

I'm curious to know whether there is a will or not. Even if there is a will, your father may have grounds to contest it unless every single child is explicitly mentioned. If any of the kids were omitted from the will, it's likely that he can contest it successfully. However that will mean that everyone will have to agree to settle the inheritance (often with a court-ordered mediator) OR the estate will go into probate and everything will be sold off and divided equally between the siblings. That's usually a really bad outcome because it means no one gets to keep ANYTHING - everyone just gets an equal share of money.

Oh I'm so sorry to hear about this. My family has gone through a similar ordeal, and Corinna's extended family went through a gigantic, 10-year soap opera that completely ripped her family apart. In the end, nothing was left of the estate because the lawyers had taken it all in fees. It's tragic, and I know it's the last thing you want to think about when you've just experienced a death in the family. I hope it works out for your father, and I'm sorry for your loss.

Thanks for your advice.

There is a Will and my dad is the executor. The life insurance policy is completely separate from the estate, to my understanding. My grandpa took out this policy to cover funeral expenses and he made it very clear that was it's intended purpose and how it was to be used.

What is the most upsetting is that this particular brother never had anything to do with our family. His wife refused to allow him to go to family gatherings. He never came to the nursing home or the hospital. My grandma died a year and a half ago. When this happened one of my aunt's stole money from the safe. Originally her and my dad were the duel beneficiaries, but once that happened my Grandpa wanted her removed. My other aunt was dying from cancer, another lives in Florida, the other uncle is a coke addict, which left only one option which was my uncle who is very well off and has little to do with our family but my Grandpa saw that as his only option. If my Grandpa had even the slightest clue this was all going on and could make an appearance- he would be doing some serious ass kicking right now. My uncle is treating this like it's some 'inheritance' that his dad left him and that is NOT the case. It is life insurance that was for the sole purpose of paying for the funeral so no one would get stuck with it.

My dad has an appointment with his attorney (also my Grandpa's attorney) this week. I am so aggravated because my dad doesn't need this stress. He did everything for the funeral, with my assistance, because none of his siblings would lift a finger to help with anything. He has already had 1 heart attack and has a multitude of other health problems. He is in worse shape than any of the other siblings- income wise and health wise. Don't get me wrong- he is financially secure as his car loans are paid off and mortgage is almost- but he doesn't have an extra $10K lying around for funeral expenses.

My dad has spent everyday taking care of my Grandpa for the past year and half. Him and my brother have done all of the upkeep on the house, including lawn care and seasonal maintenance, even though my Grandpa didn't live there because he was either in the hospital or nursing home. Over the past two decades, my dad and my brother are the only relatives to come over and keep the lawn mowed and sidewalks shoveled and salted (ice and snow) and my mom did all their grocery shopping, balance their checkbooks, and wrote/mailed out the bills. My brother (mechanic) worked on all of the vehicles for free. Everything they did was always for free and my parents didn't even live in the same city as them but yet some of his siblings lived right down the road and would never help with anything. I guess this is why this burns me so much.