Finally made it to the Social Security office today. I'm all legal and everything! My first name, his last name. Which I won't lie, the pair sounds much better than my name and my maiden name, haha. I'm just excited and had to tell somebody, haha...and the novelty of seeing my new last name still hasn't worn off yet, LOL!

Hooray, T! You took care of that very promptly. I gotta give you credit.

I didn't get 'legal' until I was conspicuously in the family way. By that point we were married almost 3 years, lol!

I married in 1985 and never bothered to change my name with Social Security until after 9/11. I always just used both my maiden and married names on my tax forms. But then after 9/11 everything changed and I had to make all my docs the same (such as drivers license or it couldn't be renewed).

Anyway, congrats!

Well done to you, doesn't it feel strange when you look at that name and remind yourself that it's you!

Yeah, thanks to a pretty well non-existant relationship with my real dad (whose name I still had), I was pretty much in a hurry to get that name gone. Plus, Jim was really looking forward to me doing it too - we were home from Vegas like, a day, and he was already wanting to know if I'd gotten to it. Uh...no? LOL!

Yeah, it always kind of floors me a little to realize that that's me, haha. I created a new problem at the studio though - there's always been trouble identifying me to the students, because my SOs name is also Theresa. And now I have the same last name as one of the other families at the studio, so I've taken out the option of using my last name. And we both have the same last initia, so we can't be Theresa M. and Theresa L., or whatever. I'm a woman without a country, lol...

Congrats! I remember how exciting that was too lol.

Congratulations T! I like your new last name! I liked the old one too though!

This reminds me that I need to get on this stuff, I'm only partially legal.

My drivers identification card is the only thing I've changed to my married name so far (unless you also count my voice mail recording!). Still need to do my private and government health insurance, my business, my bank, all my utilities, my social insurance, my passport. Ugh!!! Headache.

Then repeat for my daughter.

I still have only done my drivers licence... I haven't changed anything else really but again I am keeping my maiden name and tacking on my married name.

Professionally I refuse to spend $40 to get a new piece of paper, so I still use my maiden name...

So I kinda flip between the 2...

I had a pretty easy go of it, most of our utilities and stuff like that are in Jim's name, so that cut my job way down. In fact, all I've got left is to correct my drivers license, car insurance and medical records. And I'm holding off on the medical records until I get my insurance card, that way they can correct all of it at once.

My SO changed her name back after she split from her husband, but because she'd already built a name for herself under her married name, she kept it to do business. We were talking about name changes the other day, and she was like "That's such a mess, knowing what I know now, I'd have never done it that way..."

I toyed with hyphenating for about a half a second. But, as my mom pointed out, I've got no need to hold on to my maiden name. I don't do anything where I've built up an identity that's linked to my name, and I don't have any relationship with my real dad, so I don't need to keep his name any longer than necessary, so there you go. My mom is pretty anti-hyphenating though. My sister debated hyphenating too, and my mom shut her down on that one too. So she's just pretty well against it.

James has two middle names, all of his names take two lines on his social security card, haha!

I didn't hyphenate... just added his name on... legally I can flip flop between both...

I do have kinda an attachment to my maiden name as it's not very common and well as far as our family goes unless my brother has kids the name won't be carried on any further in Canada (at least not with my relatives).

Slight highjack, but which province in Canada is it where you can't legally change your name?

I'm hoping to find a guy who has no connection to his last name (daddy issues, whatever) so he'll take mine. I want my whole little family to have the same last name, but I'm not changing mine, so that's the only option I also haven't ever understood hyphenating after marriage...he's not going to, so what's the point? I've always just thought hyphenating belongs if Jane Smith marries John Anderson and their kid will be James Anderson-Smith. In marriage, it makes no sense.

^ It freaked me out when I just recently realized that typically, both partners don't hyphenate their names. I always figured if Jane Doe married John Smith, they'd be Jane and John Doe-Smith, and likewise with the kids. I didn't (and still don't) understand why they wouldn't. A man's birth name isn't any more important than a woman's, and I was under the impression that hyphenating was supposed to be a more egalitarian option. However, my (male) cousin has taken his wife's name, so you may get lucky!

I'm not changing my name, ever - including hyphenating it. I also don't think it's fair to ask anyone to change their name to mine, so unless I end up with someone who's specifically looking to ditch their name.. that's just how it's gonna be. I'm also not down with automatically giving all (hypothetical) kids the father's name, so the kids I'm probably not having would most likely have a couple different last names, although I suppose hyphenating would be an option.

Anyhow, congratulations, T! Sounds like it was a great thing for both you guys

Maaaaan I can't wait to change my name! How exciting for you! It's not that I don't like my current surname, I do, but in my world you take your husband's surname so there was never any doubt that I would. I've been practising my new signature for EVER which can cause it's own problems - the other week I was in a shop paying by card and the chip-and-pin machine was broken so I had to swipe-and-sign. And I'm standing there for what seemed like 10 minutes trying to remember how to sign L Martin.

So you have to go to a physical place to change your name? I'm not sure how we do it here but I think you just send off copies of your marriage certificate - only passport and driving license need that, everyone else (bank, bills etc) you can just say "Hi, changing me name, here it is". I think. I hope!

I never knew there was a province where you can't legally change your name! Weird! Its not Ontario anyways.

I don't know if its the same in the US but in Canada you can just "assume" the name of your spouse by using the Marriage certificate to change your ID, without changing your birth certificate. OR you can legally change and get a new birth certificate.I did the first, simply because its easier, and if you ever want to revert back to your old name, you just change your ID back with your birth certificate.

Up until recently we had four people in the house with three different last names. Glad everything is getting on the same page name wise!

It'a Quebec, I googled it and found this article. Apparently you can use his name socially, but you can't legally change it on your paperwork.

Anyhow, sorry to derail the thread. Nothing wrong with taking a guy's name! In fact, I've always said that the only way I'll change my last name is if I marry someone with the last name Larson, my mom's maiden name, because part of me wishes I had her maiden name. I just wish we'd see more guys taking girls names and couples making up new names

Before the rise of the feminist movement in the US (and perhaps elsewhere) a woman had to change her name upon marriage. I think the law in our state was you had 30 days after marriage to change your driver's license. We were married in our home state so it was not a case of being automatic...our marriage license is from Wisconsin and our residence then and now is Maryland.

The same was true in government employment. Then in the late 60's/early 70's a whole bunch of social changes took place. It was during this time that the abbreviation Ms. was adopted to that a woman did not have to list her marital status in a form of address. Most state and federals laws were changed to permit a "Name of Record." This was also true for federal employees. I haven't followed this closely, but it seems the fad of the hyphenated name has died down with more couples simply sticking to their birth names if they do not change. I don't have quite the connections to people the age of most DDNers, so I'd be curious to know if their is any truth to my perception.

Jon

Chaconne wrote:

Before the rise of the feminist movement in the US (and perhaps elsewhere) a woman had to change her name upon marriage. I think the law in our state was you had 30 days after marriage to change your driver's license. We were married in our home state so it was not a case of being automatic...our marriage license is from Wisconsin and our residence then and now is Maryland.

The same was true in government employment. Then in the late 60's/early 70's a whole bunch of social changes took place. It was during this time that the abbreviation Ms. was adopted to that a woman did not have to list her marital status in a form of address. Most state and federals laws were changed to permit a "Name of Record." This was also true for federal employees. I haven't followed this closely, but it seems the fad of the hyphenated name has died down with more couples simply sticking to their birth names if they do not change. I don't have quite the connections to people the age of most DDNers, so I'd be curious to know if their is any truth to my perception.

Jon

I definitely think that's true. I know a few people who want to change their name (generally because they're not attached due to a less-than-stellar relationship with their dad or non-existant relationship with their dad), but most of my friends don't. I think many people have realized that it's entirely possible to use DH's name socially but keep their own name legally/professionally. Hyphenating, I think, was great for introducing the idea that not everyone wanted to change their name. However, today, it's bulky and still inherently "unequal" if DH doesn't hyphenate as well (assuming of course, that that is the woman's motivation in hyphenating).

It's not an issue for most women, changing it or not...it's not going to impact anything. However, I know my decision not to change was made when my mom's best friend got divorced after 20 years of marriage. She built up an incredibly successful accounting business on her married name, and now she's stuck with it. Since I'm planning to go into the academic field, a name change could hurt me. So if my future DH doesn't take my name (I'm REALLYYY hoping he does, haha), I'll be fine being called either name socially. Girlwithghillies, I feel the same...unless I give boys my last name, our name dies out!

Anyhow T, congratulations! I know you've been looking forward to this for a long time

Speaking of names dying, James' second middle name is my step-dads last name, because my step-dad has no sons, so his last name won't go on after him either. So I passed it on, in my own way, haha. Had James been a girl, as it happens, my husbands name would have stopped too, oddly.

My now step-sister in law got married last summer, and they both took the others name, which is cool too. But, where I haven't done anything to build name recognition, Jim has, so he couldn't really change his own name.

The social security office gies you the option of just mailing in the paperwork, but I didn't want to just go mailing off my stuff, so I went in person.

That's interesting T.

It's a Scottish tradition that the sons take their mothers maiden name as their middle name and is one my father carried on, my brothers have my mothers and both grandmothers maiden names as their middle names, Lade, Tierney and Lawrence.

Teresa has my maiden name as her middle name, just like my husband has his moms maiden name as his middle name. That way the names will go on in that manner. I'm hoping Teresa will carry on the trend.

I also did it partially because I didn't fully change my last name and we have different names that at least all her ID has both middle names on it, so it ties us together by name that way.

I don't know if its the same in the US but in Canada you can just "assume" the name of your spouse by using the Marriage certificate to change your ID, without changing your birth certificate.

I think it's the same in Britain...I've never heard of anyone changing their birth certificate. That seems weird to me.

It's not really a name change here from what I know... it is just that a name assumption.

Birth certificates remain the same in the USA unless there is an elaborate court proceding. I knew of one such case. A colleague of mine was accused of fathering a child with another colleague. He denied it and said he never even had relations with her (of course unprovable), but the female colleague put his name on the birth certificate as the father. In the interim, DNA testing became available and my friend sued to have his surname removed from the child (He was married, and he suspected that there might be some element of blackmail here.) The court ordered DNA testing. The DNA proved he was not the father and the court ordered that the child get a different surname and my friend's name stricken from the birth certificate and a new one issued in some other name (I don't know what name they chose.)

In many Hispanic countries they have a different custom. A man will have both the patronymic and the matronymic. So Juan Gonzales and Maria Perez have a son and he will be Julio Gonzales-Perez (though in everyday use, the matronymic is usually not used.) So Julio Gonzales grows up and marries Consuelo Roderiguez. She officially become Sra. Consuelo Roderiguez de la Gonzales. Again everyday use varies. I haven't
noticed this custom being used among Hispanic immigrants to the United State, but I'm not in the greatest position to know much about that.

The use of the matronymic become very important when trying to find someone in a phone book in Latin America. I was working in Mexico and I tried to look up a college friend, a Mexican national who became a rather famous artist. Most Hispanic names are rather common and oft repeated. So my friend (these are not the real names) who I knew as Juan Medina led me to about 5 pages in the Mexico City phone book of Juan Medinas...an obvious dead end except they also list the matronymic and I remembered that my friend signed his art as Juan Medina-Soto. That limited the available choices to four and I quickly located my friend on my second call.

When I was working in Middle Eastern affairs we would chuckle on the uselessness of the Cairo phone book (we had both and English and Arabic version at work.) There were 50 pages of people named Mohammad Mohammad, no addresses, just the name and number.

Jon

I have a family name that is dying and if I known when my son was born, he would have had a different middle name, the dying name. It makes me sad. To make it even sadder, a cousin gave her son the dying name and this child died in infancy.

Congrats, T! Hope your married days are very happy! You waited long enough, lol.

kk~

Congratulations! I remember going to the Social Security office too. I even got a rubber jar opener! (woohoo? hahaha)