Forum: Advice / Guys Only PG-13

Guys Only PG-13
I invented a new product! Introducing the SUNCUP™ (karma: 5)
By panicmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 11592, member since Thu Dec 16, 2004
On Sun Sep 18, 2011 02:59 AM

So you've heard of the mooncup, right? That's the little plastic doohicky your crunchy girlfriend sticks up her vagina to trap in all the juices. It's absolutely disgusting, but it's environmentally friendly.

Well, I've decided to take that idea one step further. With my new SUNCUP™ you can take environmental friendliness to the next level. SUNCUP™ is an anal tampon replacement that traps feces in your rectum until you can dispose of it in a responsible and environmentally friendly manner. No wasteful toilet paper is needed!

To use the SUNCUP™, just insert it into your rectum - large end first. That's it! Using the SUNCUP™ is fun and easy - as well as environmentally friendly.

To remove the SUNCUP™, just insert your finger into your anus (some people find this uncomfortable at first, but you'll get used to it!) and locate the convenient pull-tab. Using a gentle yet steady pressure, remove the SUNCUP™. The first few times you use your SUNCUP™, feces will probably spray all over the place, so be prepared. But with practice, you'll learn to limit the splatters. After a few months of use, fecal contamination will be limited mostly to your hands, face, and buttocks. Sure, some people find this disgusting. But we're saving the environment!

To reuse your SUNCUP™, simply rinse it with cool water, and reinsert (large end first - don't forget that part or you may experience anal leakage). It's as simple as that. Saving the environment has never been so easy and enjoyable!

Try my new SUNCUP™ and say NO to multinational toilet paper companies. Don't be a slave to toilet paper. Help your environment and help yourself help your anus. Help yourself to SUNCUP™.