Forum: Advice / Girls Only PG-13

sex help
By sugarbaby15
On Fri Oct 07, 2011 09:11 AM

i want to have sex with my boyfriend but he is a virgin and like we have dated on and off for three years and on top of that we have not even kissed..help me please

12 Replies to sex help

re: sex help
By Coccinellamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Oct 07, 2011 09:25 AM
How-to type instructions when it comes to this kind of thing are not allowed on dance.net. What I can tell you is to make sure you and you boyfriend are not afraid to communicate to each other about your future sex life. You both need to discuss your worries, and fears, and most especially what you will do to avoid pregnancy and what you would do in the event that you do wind up pregnant.

My personal opinion is that you are moving WAY too fast. You want to sleep with this guy before you have even kissed him? Too much, too fast. I'm guessing you are not very old, judging by the on again off again relationship and your lack of sex experience, so why not just enjoy being young together, kiss, and learn about each others bodies before jumping into an activity that has can have such life changing consequences.
re: sex help
By LizDancermember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Fri Oct 07, 2011 09:48 AM
Well the easy answer is that for anything to happen (not necessarily sex) first you have start by kissing him! I'd stick with just that for now.

How old are you?
re: sex help
By MuffinHeadmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Oct 07, 2011 12:28 PM
You've been together on and off for three years and you haven't kissed?

Are you *sure* you're actually "together" and he's your "boyfriend"? Is he gay? Has he tried to make a move on you at all?
re: sex help
By Wicked_Elphabamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Oct 07, 2011 12:47 PM
sugarbaby15 wrote:

i want to have sex with my boyfriend but he is a virgin and like we have dated on and off for three years and on top of that we have not even kissed..help me please


My fiance was a virgin when we met. It's not hard to teach someone how to pleasure you.


You've been together on and off for three years and you haven't kissed?

Are you *sure* you're actually "together" and he's your "boyfriend"? Is he gay? Has he tried to make a move on you at all?


Word. When I moved to Chicago to be with my fiance, we couldn't keep our hands off each other.
re: sex help
By Coccinellamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Oct 07, 2011 01:01 PM
I have a feeling that the OP is really young. I had friend who dated on and off in high school since they were 12 at the beginning of Grade 8. The OP could be 15, for all we know, and in that case I don't think it's THAT weid that the OP's boyfriend isn't all over her. He might be gay, but we don't know that. He could be a late bloomer or from a family that encourages waiting to have sex.
re: sex help
By Sumayah
On Fri Oct 07, 2011 01:16 PM
Edited by Sumayah (204191) on 2011-10-07 22:22:04 fixed link - phone didn't link it right
You're 15 according to your public profile. So you've been dating the same kid since you were 12? Well, maybe if he hasn't kissed you in 3 years of high hormones, maybe it's time to find a new boyfriend because he's either not into you or he's really, really, really shy. And slow down. There's nothing shameful about being a virgin at 15. And www.scarleteen.com - go spend some quality time there. Listen to Loveline on the radio. Learn about your body and different methods of contraception. Then learn more. Learn about condoms. Learn about std's. Learn about your cycle and ovulation and pregnancy and what your options are if you did get pregnant. Learn about safe sex. Then, talk to your boyfriend about what you've learned. Then learn some more. But until you do, absolutely, positively DO NOT have sex. But yeah, start with kissing and research the rest. We will (by the way) ridicule you if you ask if you can get pregnant because your boyfriend came in his boxers and you were dry humping with your clothes on. Educate yourself first and foremost. But no sex until you do. None.
re: sex help
By mandakp
On Fri Oct 07, 2011 10:20 PM
I agree, definitely no sex right now. You're only 15, there's plenty of time for that sort of thing when you're older and more informed, if you haven't even kissed this boy then having sex would mostly definitely be moving WAY too fast!!
re: sex help
By KODancer94
On Tue Nov 01, 2011 06:38 PM
mandakp wrote:

I agree, definitely no sex right now. You're only 15, there's plenty of time for that sort of thing when you're older and more informed, if you haven't even kissed this boy then having sex would mostly definitely be moving WAY too fast!!


I completely agree. This is a big step to think about taking...and it's probsbly not the smartest one to take at this time.
re: sex help
By FeisForFoodmember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Wed Nov 02, 2011 01:28 PM
[qAre you *sure* you're actually "together" and he's your "boyfriend"? Is he gay? Has he tried to make a move on you at all?
I don't want to pull this thread off topic, but I have a problem with this train of thought. Let's not make the assumption that if a boy has not "made a move" or tried to have sex with his girlfriend by a certain point in time, that he is gay. While there is nothing wrong with being gay (and I am not at all assuming that this poster thinks there is), I don't understand why that was even brought up. It's an awful lot of pressure to put on a guy to assume he always has to be the one making the first move in a relationship with a girl. You're essentially saying that if he doesn't make all the moves, that must mean he's not even interested in women at all. I don't think that's very fair to anyone of any age.

That said, I agree with those who have said to the OP that perhaps if you and your boyfriend haven't kissed yet, you should move a lot more slowly with your physically intimacy than jumping straight to sex. I would also encourage you to be sure that you're not wanting to have sex just for the heck of it but because you're interested in becoming closer to your boyfriend (you are young, I want to just make sure you think before you do anything).
re: sex help
By BeautifulMistakemember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Wed Nov 02, 2011 03:03 PM
For the love of God DON'T have sex with him if you've never kissed him at least! Geesh! What happened to taking it one step at a time? First base, second base, third base? Is that like old or something?

Seriously, take it one step at a time and LEARN about sex first. And NOT how to make him sleep with you. Learn about STD's and contaceptives and prepare yourself. Like going on the birth control pill if that's something you want to do or buying condoms to have some for whenever it does happen. But do not rush it.
re: sex help
By girlwithghilliesmember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Wed Nov 02, 2011 09:38 PM
Edited by girlwithghillies (114439) on 2011-11-02 21:40:27
OP, get thee to scarleteen.com! It has all the information a person could want about sex, sexuality, birth control and other concerns, and also healthy relationships. Even if you're not sexually active or won't be for awhile, it's a very good idea to educate yourself in order to develop your own opinions and plans in this area. If you plan to become sexually active soon, that's entirely your own decision, but please please read up first so you can be smart and healthy about it. Plus, it's just a great site - they have an area for your questions, too. I'm 20 and I still consult it occasionally.
re: sex help
By emilysmiles
On Thu Nov 03, 2011 12:38 PM
darling, you should started with the kissing first, take it slow.

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