Hello!

I need some help please, a good friend of mine is pregnant, hooray! She's due on the 5th March so plenty of time but I'm very excited so want to plan ahead! I was a bridesmaid at her wedding last November and made her wedding cake.

I'm hoping to throw her a baby shower on the 4th or 5th of Febuary though as I've never been to one before and already there are issues with the Father's sister... ho hum, who said life was simple! :-S

Anyway! Where I was going was this: I will probably give her a little something at the babyshower, maybe for her to help her with the final month such as candles/chocolates/toiletries and then something at the birth for the baby, is this what people tend to do? I'm just more than a little stuck as to what to get. I am loving all the little tiny clothes but am afraid that EVERYONE will buy the little tiny clothes and they will have mountains of clothes, many of which may be grown out of faster than imaginable. I caved a few weeks ago and bought a little Very Hungry Catepiller cardigan/jacket size 3-6 months on the guesswork that most clothes people will buy will be the newborn size.

I was thinking potentially along the lines of a hamper type thing- as a nanny I have a favoured brand of wipe so thought I could get her a big box of packets and maybe a couple of large packs of nappies in sizes appropiate for its birth weight but is this super boring?? They have just moved into their first (bought) house and will be short of cash so I didn't want to buy unecessary things, nor did I want to buy things they would prefer to choose themselves or boring things. Maybe in with the nappies and wipes I could put the cardigan and then anything else I think of but I really don't know.

So what would you have wanted when you had a baby giftwise and at your baby shower? What did you get too many of? What did you wish you'd had instead? She's having a girl but they arn't very 'pink' people!

Budget wise, I don't know maybe £50-£60 ish?? They won't have a huge amount of money when she's born but both of their families are reletively well off if that makes a difference! I can basic knit so I was planning on making some booties and a hat and maybe a jumper too... I'm probably overestimating my skills but there's nothing like aiming high!

Thanks in advance for your help!

Sarah x

Can you knit or crochet? I am not a very savvy knitter yet, I am learning, but a baby toque is one of easiest things you can do beyond knitting and purling a square, haha. It's not expensive as you could make several out of one ball of yarn. It only took me about 4 hours of work to make a toque I did last week for a baby shower I have coming up. I knit the same toque for a friend last year and the entire group of ladies was just in awe. It got passed around to everyone and my friend was really appreciative that I'd taken the time to make something unique and handmade for her daughter.

I have the pattern if you are interested.

Buy bigger clothes. Everyone oohs and aahs and coos over the little outfits, and she'll get so many she won't have to even do laundry, and then every time the baby goes up a size, she'll have to go buy a whole new wardrobe. Go get bigger clothes.

You can kind of skip on the primping products - I was so big toward the end of mine that I couldn't sit down in the tub to take a bath anyway, and if I did, the entire time I was down, the baby was just pressing into my organs. I was miserable. So she's not going to be super in to taking a nice soak, no matter how good the bath bubbles smell.

I don't have a baby, but one thing I would mention is that when my sister in law was pregnant all of her friends were telling her that she absolutely needs a baby sling. However they are pretty expensive considering it is just a bit of cloth, so we took the adventure together to make her a couple. I don't know where she originally got the pattern, but a quick google search turns up a ton, including this one www.handmade-adelaide-baby.com . . .

You can find good prices for them on Etsy too, but I always thought that the next time I have a friend that gets pregnant I would make one for them. I think they are cute, practical and you can really customize them.

Other than that I have heard friends say that some of their best gifts were the extremely practical ones, like diapers and creams and wipes, etc... you can gift it in a cute way like when you see people make elaborate designs and "cakes" out of diapers and bottles.

I could not agree with Theresa (it feels weird to see Teresa spelled Theresa now)... Older clothes and supplies... I got some bigger clothes at my shower and couldn't have been more grateful for them. I also loved getting feeding stuff for when she was older like sippy/straw cups, spoons, that kind of stuff.

I also really appreciated the hand made stuff.

They grow out of the small stuff too fast and everyone buys the small cute stuff, that they just don't get to wear... I had stuff with tags still on it that I just put away.

If you feel as though giving diapers are boring, do a diaper cake. I did one for a friend and it was pretty easy. Just google them and you will find a variety of "recipes". I used size 1 and 2 diapers so she had a couple bigger sizes, and whatever wasn't used in the cake I just gave to her in the box before she went home. I did three tiers, then folded wash cloths into bows, put little bottles of lotion and baby wash on the outside, etc. I used a big bottle of baby shampoo in the middle to kind of hold the tiers together. She loved it.

I second (third?) the bigger clothes.

Thanks for all your help guys!

I LOVED the nappy cake, reckon I'll do one of those with wipes in the middle then nappies for 3 tiers with yellow ribbons and bows and some ducks as well as other bits I'll buy too. Will make me feel a lot better about giving practical things if I can make it looks super cute!

I liked the baby sling idea too! Though I know they're not for everyone. I might scope out the idea when I see her next in a couple of weeks and see if she feels strongly either for or against them and think about it then.

Theresea, you said nay to the toiletries which I'm glad about as I'd have probably got them! Good to hear an educated opinion! Do you think chocolates maybe then? I'm keen that she feels looked after, and also that it's not just more of the same at the babyshower and the birth giftwise. Is there a traditional gift etiquette regarding a baby shower and birth or can you just buy and give what you want, when you want to?

Cocinella, a hat is something I was planning on trying to make! I'm going to my Stitch and Bitch group tomorrow and so will hopefully see how another lady got on with making one for her son, I'm only slightly worse at knitting to her so it may give me an idea of how well I could do! If you have a pattern I would love to see it please! Shall I PM you my email?

Thanks again, any other thoughts please send them my way!

Sarah x

I would give her the baby-oriented gift AT the shower and possibly give her a basket of "goodies" later or even as a gift for Mom at the birth. Even making her a book of "coupons" may help: Vouchers to do laundry, watch the baby, clean rooms of their place, etc. Those would give her the one thing she just plain won't have when she has a baby: Time to herself!

You can absolutely PM me your e-mail and I can scan you a copy of the pattern.

A basket (hamper) of practical necessities is always appreciated. When the goodies are used up, it is just about time for the baby to start accumulating toys and things and it makes a great catch-all. In addition to wipes and diapers, don't forget a box of alcohol swabs (cord care), baby shampoo, Vaseline, diaper rash ointment (like Desitin, Balmex, or A & D Ointment, a baby thermometer, round tipped scissors, little baby mitts to keep the baby from accidentally scratching its face, baby spoons. Depending on the size of the basket, you might want to slip in a bottle of laundry detergent, the "extra mild" kind made just for babies, and a bottle of fabric softener.

I love the diaper cake. A woman at church did this for one of the Sunday school teachers a few years ago, but this one ^ is spectacular.

I recently attended a baby shower where the invitation asked us to choose and sign a child's book instead of a card. Books, especially the Very Hungry Caterpillar (!) and other Eric Karl and Dr. Seuss books, as well as Good Night Moon are classics and are always appreciated. Crib mobiles and a baby mirror are also favorites with babies.

A subscription to Parents or Parenting Magazine, or even Family Fun, is nice. So are classic books like The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and Dr. Spock. Any of the Baby Einstein DVD's or lullaby cd's are also nice.

I agree with the suggestion of "larger than Newborn" clothing. My babies were large and only wore some of them once, if that. It is a little difficult to judge seasons and sizes though. I'd choose a white sweater, with a hood and a zipper in the back, a pair of Oshkosh (or similar) denim overalls, a team or university hoodie...all are good for a boy or girl.

For mom...perfume...something light and subtle. Seriously, when you have a baby you feel like your good looks took off with the afterbirth. Just a little perfume makes you feel so much better. Also, a book that has nothing to do with child care, nursing, or homemaking. My friend gave me the Mary Stewart, Camelot books. Great escape at two in the morning when baby just wants to be held and you are sitting up alone...baby in one arm, book in the other hand.

I hope you have a great time planning the shower. Please let us know if you'd like help.

Keep On Dancing*

Possibly one of the greatest gifts I got was my 17 year old cousin coming to stay with me during the day when James was new. His birth ended up being really well timed - he was born on a Thursday afternoon, so Jim took off Thursday and Friday, then it was the weekend, then he went back to work, and had a three day work week and was off for Labor Day. So Jim was home most of the first two weeks, but there are few things more terrifying than the first time that door closes, and it's just you and that kid, and you have to handle it all alone. You want to help her in the greatest possible way? Tell her you'll come hang with her for a few days right after the baby comes home.

I made a diaper cake when my cousin had her baby too! I called it the "Sharp dressed man" cake - I decorated it with baby clothes. Buying bigger sizes requires a bit of math - if the baby's born in December, s/he'll be six months old in June, so you can feel safe buying summery stuff in the 6-9 month size range. I stood at Old Navy and counted on my fingers. LOL! I got the math a little wrong for my cousins baby - as it turns out, my cousin makes big babies. I, on the other hand, do not. So my math was a little off, but I know he got use out of all of it anyway.

Thanks for the help guys! I really appriciate it!

I've got my eye on a couple of bits I'd like to buy, I want to get a toy to clip on the pram, either a Baby Einstein one or a Very Hungry Caterpiller themed one, the little white jumper/jacket I have already bought and maybe something else too! All to go with the nappy cake of course! it's very exciting! As well as anything I manage to make, I'm going to have to try not to overdo it!

I might try and get some scented candles for Mum, I love the books idea too, we often book exchange when we meet up so I may just bring some books up when I first visit to make sure she has them there ready!

Theresea, I'm so glad you said about that! It was one of my thoughts to offer to go down to see them for a few days but I wasn't sure if it'd be stepping on any Grandparent/Aunt/Uncles toes by offering... you reckon it's a good idea though? I know that she has been feeling quite overwhelmed by the 'surprise' pregnancy and the impending birth so I want to help out as much as I can.

I also have been doing the same as you... counting months on my fingers, trying to work out the weather and the size of the baby, nightmare!! 'Luckily' here in the UK you can pretty much guarentee that any clothes can be worn in the months you least expect, she's due in March and I can list off recent years where we have had either blistering sunbathing weather in March, or deep freezing snow... keeps life exciting I guess!

Thanks again... keep the thoughts coming!!

Sarah x

if you are going to do a diaper cake, put some sanitary pads for mom in the middle as well, you go through quite a few of those in the beginning.

Theresea, I'm so glad you said about that! It was one of my thoughts to offer to go down to see them for a few days but I wasn't sure if it'd be stepping on any Grandparent/Aunt/Uncles toes by offering... you reckon it's a good idea though? I know that she has been feeling quite overwhelmed by the 'surprise' pregnancy and the impending birth so I want to help out as much as I can.

Tell her you'll come over after everybody leaves. For the first two or three days, everybody and their brother is there, and she won't need help at all. But in short order, everyone's going to have to go back to school/work, and she's gonna be there by herself. And that's where you come in to play!

edendancer wrote:

Thanks for the help guys! I really appriciate it!

I've got my eye on a couple of bits I'd like to buy, I want to get a toy to clip on the pram, either a Baby Einstein one or a Very Hungry Caterpiller themed one, the little white jumper/jacket I have already bought and maybe something else too! All to go with the nappy cake of course! it's very exciting! As well as anything I manage to make, I'm going to have to try not to overdo it!

I might try and get some scented candles for Mum, I love the books idea too, we often book exchange when we meet up so I may just bring some books up when I first visit to make sure she has them there ready!

Theresea, I'm so glad you said about that! It was one of my thoughts to offer to go down to see them for a few days but I wasn't sure if it'd be stepping on any Grandparent/Aunt/Uncles toes by offering... you reckon it's a good idea though? I know that she has been feeling quite overwhelmed by the 'surprise' pregnancy and the impending birth so I want to help out as much as I can.

I also have been doing the same as you... counting months on my fingers, trying to work out the weather and the size of the baby, nightmare!! 'Luckily' here in the UK you can pretty much guarentee that any clothes can be worn in the months you least expect, she's due in March and I can list off recent years where we have had either blistering sunbathing weather in March, or deep freezing snow... keeps life exciting I guess!

Thanks again... keep the thoughts coming!!

Sarah x

I also echo the bigger clothes. I always buy anywhere from 6-12 month clothes for my friends.

Due to me being an EMT, I always gave my friends more practical gifts than clothes. (Most people at showers get new moms clothes and kids grow like weeds) My friend who had her baby a year and a half ago, I got her a bath spot cover and a duckie that says if the bath water is too hot. She thanked me profusely and told me that was the most practical gift she got.

My sister had her first baby in May, and she said the next time she knows someone who's having a first time baby... She'll be getting them a nice blanket, so if all the other ideas haven't put you over budget, there's another!

And if she doesn't have a boppy pillow, they're amazing!

^ My sister in law was crazy over hers, she had a full body boppy that she slept with all the time while she was pregnant and apparently my brother was very jealous ofit. She liked her regular one too, but I don't think it got as much use.

Ok, update!

I went down to see them at the weekend, she's nearly 6 months now but is still tiny! (probably wouldn't know she was pregnant if you didn't know her), which I'm a bit worried about but took her cakes to freeze/eat and bought her some ben and jerrys for the freezer so I hope that'll help encourage her to eat some more. (midwife suggested she eats more dessert...)

She's not planning on using a baby sling, so that's off the radar but I did manage to see what they already had (not much yet) and more importantly what they are looking to get and the style that they're after. We went and bought some clothes which was lovely!

I've made an amazon gift list which I am going to include on the babyshower invite to give people ideas if they are interested. If anyone wants to see it's here:
www.amazon.co.uk . . .

Let me know what you think.

I'm going to stick with the nappy cake idea with a few extra bits thrown in which I'm more than happy with! Best get me knitting!

Cocinella, if you don't mind me asking, did you email me the pattern? It's just nothing came through and I didn't want you to think I was being ungrateful if you sent it!

Theresa, I spoke to her about going and helping out for a few days and she seemed quite keen, not going to put any pressure on- but I've put the idea to her. I just hope I can be of use! I found a 'baby's first year' book in a charity shop for £2 today which seemed good so I bought it. I'll give it to her next time I see her. I don't want to smother them- just be as useful as possible!

Thanks for the help,

Sarah x

I'm jumping in here a bit late, but here's a few suggestions that can go along with a diaper cake:
- baby books - especially if you happen to know what the mom/dad's fav kids books were from when they were young

- Gift certificates(baby stores, grocery stores, take-out/delivery restaurants, house cleaning service for the first month, etc - you could do a 'bouquet' of gift certificates as the cake topper)

Or you can always do some home cooking, and freeze it - I did this for my Sister in law who just had her first and i really strapped for cash - over a few months I cooked and froze almost 20 meals, and so as my baby shower gist, I stocked her freezer, and gave them a diaper cake.
I know a bunch of frozen meals aren't the cute fun gifts that everyone 'oohs' and 'awws' over, but it's always appreciated!

You have gotten some really good advice here but I'm going to add that diapers always make great gifts. Disposable or Cloth. (get different size disposables if going this route-she will appreciate not having to spend as much on diapers!) and Prefold cloth diapers which can be used as spit up rags.

Please note: If per chance she decides to cloth diaper I recommend AGAINST user the Gerber prefolds with the "batting" in the middle and get a good quality DSQ diaper. The Gerber diapers with the "batting" are GREAT as spit up rags....but are not that great as cloth diapers. The flats are pretty good for both cloth diapers (especially in a tiny baby) or as spit up rags. I used my prefolds as both and had no problems with them either way.

Its also a good idea to have them around in case you run into a diaper emergency and need to put the baby in a "diaper" until you can get more.