Nyssasistic wrote:



Yeah, this is a total hijack of the post but since that came up I figured I drop my 2 cents in. Allowing kids to make reasonable requests makes them feel like they're "heard", but giving in to fits and tantrums makes them feel like they're the boss. The former is great, the latter not so much.

/hijack

I agree, however not all parents do. A lot of parents give up and do give in. I was suggesting this may be the case. No one really knows why they picked this dress.

I do want to say your ring bearer is freaking adorable! I don't often say "awww" out loud but I did this time. I doubt this other girl in the similar dress will take the attention from you or the flower girl. You both have special parts in the wedding and this other girl is just a girl attending.

But, I'm taking comfort in that I will be telling the photographer EXACTLY who is in the wedding and who isn't. We don't want a bunch of pictures of kids to show up in our wedding photos. We are getting married, not them. Couple group photos, fine, me and my ring bearer, fine.

I understand about wanting things to be done your way; that's part of the reason we went abroad for ours. I requested that nobody smoked in our dining room even though it was OK by the restaurant because I didn't want my dress to stink, for example. But until you accept that weddings are a group social event, you really are going to be disappointed and angry on your wedding day. Nobody likes an angry bride. It doesn't matter that an infant is wearing white. She's not trying to steal your thunder for heaven's sake, she's TWO. It's not something you drug yourself up and get drunk over. And heaven knows we know you despise children, but having them in a couple of pictures isn't going to kill you - you don't have to keep every photo they take, but you'll probably regret it if you don't have a nice photo with everybody that attended. Or maybe you won't.

Please try and be a little less me me me me me because while it's your day, weddings are supposed to be happy events for all involved and I fear that you're going to work yourself into a strop and ruin your own day as well as alienating everybody else. You WILL have a crap day unless you chill out.

Yeah...I vote chill out.

My husband's friend's four-year-old daughter showed up to my wedding in a pretty white dress with her hair all done in braids. Was she trying to "steal the thunder"? No, she was being a lovely little girl and getting dressed up all pretty, as little girls tend to do. I didn't even give it a thought. Why? Because I was focused on enjoying my guests' company instead of evaluating and judging their wardrobe choices.

Relax!! Everyone is here to see YOU and celebrate with you as you begin a new phase of your life. A small child's wardrobe choices shouldn't even be on your radar. Allow yourself to enjoy your day.

honestly it's not a big deal at all...

For someone that has no kids and wants no kids you are sure quick to think that you would be gods gift to parenting or something... sometimes you pick your battles with kids, and clothing is one of those things where sometimes you give in.

There are more important things to worry about that what ONE little kid is wearing to your wedding... if having here there was that big an issue you damn well should have said something.

I always thought that no white was for EVERYONE. It's definitely what I was told as a kid. I would never dream of wearing a white dress to a wedding. I only attended one wedding as a guest as a kid (I sang in one and was the flower girl at another), and I wore something floral... can't remember the colors, but I think red or pink.

Given that she bought pretty much the EXACT SAME dress AND a tiara, I think it's an obvious ploy to make this kid an "unofficial" part of the wedding party.

See it for what it is and laugh about it.... you told the photographer, and it's clear who the ringbearer is. Desperate MIL is desperate!

Heart wrote:

I always thought that no white was for EVERYONE. It's definitely what I was told as a kid. I would never dream of wearing a white dress to a wedding. I only attended one wedding as a guest as a kid (I sang in one and was the flower girl at another), and I wore something floral... can't remember the colors, but I think red or pink.

Given that she bought pretty much the EXACT SAME dress AND a tiara, I think it's an obvious ploy to make this kid an "unofficial" part of the wedding party.

See it for what it is and laugh about it.... you told the photographer, and it's clear who the ringbearer is. Desperate MIL is desperate!

This. I was also told I was to never wear white to a wedding unless I was the bride for as long as I can remember. It's not necessarily the white dress I'm upset about, it's more along the lines of it looks VERY similar to my ring bearer's.

For someone that has no kids and wants no kids you are sure quick to think that you would be gods gift to parenting or something... sometimes you pick your battles with kids, and clothing is one of those things where sometimes you give in.

There are more important things to worry about that what ONE little kid is wearing to your wedding... if having here there was that big an issue you damn well should have said something.

Nice try, but not quite. Initially they weren't going to come! (Even told us to invite others in their place!) But, since it was only going to be ONE kid (it's our officiant's daughter whom I absolutely ADORE, well behaved, not annoying), we were like "well, ok, it's only going to be the one, she can be a flower girl" (which got changed to ring bearer because Disney requires flowers to be cleaned up if we toss them and I want to be getting Trevor and I's pictures done, not sweeping up rose petals, plus, a ring pillow was a ton cheaper than rose petals, especially since we made our own). So, initially it was only one child, a child I actually really do enjoy spending time with. So we got her dress and what not, THEN his whole family said they'd come. ::head desk::

Obviously, we couldn't remove our RB from the ceremony (especially since everything had been printed up), but since we were allowing our officiant's kid, we had to include the others. I might not like kids (with the exception of some of my friend's kids), but fair IS fair. We explained many times WHY we couldn't change things and showed the dress to MIL a few times, everyone said they understood and it was all good.

On the bright side, he did admit to me after everything that's gone on with BOTH our families, he told me he wishes he listened to me and went to Vegas.

ya do realize that flower girls don't have to throw petals right? I don't know of any places here that allow it at all.

My flowergirl carried an artificial flower ball.

i wouldnt be irritated for myself.... but on behalf of the ring bearer.... the MIL is kinda stealing her special moment by giving another child all the special things she has for being rb... (special dress and tiara etc)

if you want to bring it up i would maybe explain that it was supposed to be sepcial for little so and so as the ring bearer and that you'd really appreciate it if the other child could have a different coloured dress or something. dont go at it from your point of view go at it from a disappointed for the RB who wont feel as special ... bit of a guilt trip but if it works it works.

failing that... find a way to make RB stand out more? a sash of a certain colour maybe? a little corsage?

there is a purple bow on her waist... A full on purple sash would look nice as it would cinch the dress in a bit making it fit a bit better.

On the bright side, he did admit to me after everything that's gone on with BOTH our families, he told me he wishes he listened to me and went to Vegas.

This is the "bright side"? Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?

I realize you didn't ask for this kind of comment, but I feel compelled to offer this.

A Disney wedding is literally a fairy tale come true. Most of us have never, and will never have such an opportunity. If you chose to focus on everything magical and wonderful about it you won't have the time to give all the little nonsense a second thought. Believe it or not, there is always a positive spin you can put on the most outrageous behavior of others.

A two year old, a "wedding crasher", is dressing like the other toddler? It could be worse. She could show up with a bunch of friends from the neighborhood, all dresses in jeans and tank tops. Your mother in law and your own family are acting like overbearing relatives? That's married life.

For your own sake, and that of your future husband, as well as all the memories you will have forever, try to think of the Magic. Capital "M". All these outsiders can only ruin your day if you let them.

Don't let them.

Keep On Dancing*

When I was having a little worry about a guest spilling red wine down my dress, or the food being rubbish, or it raining, or anything else that could go wrong, I was given a VERY good piece of advice. It goes like this:

"It is what you make it"

Take the red wine. If you react to this with a punch to the guest's nose and a giant strop then you've played a part in ruining your own day. If you make a joke out of it, have your photo taken with the stain and mock-throttling the offending guest, then you can still enjoy the rest of the night and you'll have some funny memories. It is what YOU make it.

Christine wrote:


For your own sake, and that of your future husband, as well as all the memories you will have forever, try to think of the Magic. Capital "M". All these outsiders can only ruin your day if you let them.

Don't let them.

Keep On Dancing*

I'm already over it. We've pretty much told everyone to pound sand. OUR wedding, not theirs. We've told pretty much everyone who complained about anything, that if they didn't like it or the way we were doing things, they didn't have to come. The drama cut down A LOT. So, whatever. WE'RE. GETTING OUR MARRIAGE LICENSE TODAY!!!!!!

On the drive, we made a pit stop and I saw the name keychains he thought it was funny when I said I wanted the one that said "the boss" for me. If they had one that said "ball and chain" we probably would've gotten it. (We have an interesting sense of humor, I have a shirt that says "good in the kitchen")

Dancing_EMT wrote:

We've pretty much told everyone to pound sand. OUR wedding, not theirs. We've told pretty much everyone who complained about anything, that if they didn't like it or the way we were doing things, they didn't have to come. The drama cut down A LOT.

Except clearly it didn't, because you're upset over a 2-year-old wearing a similar dress to your ring bearer's. I think what Christine was trying to say is that even if OTHER people have stopped bringing what you see as drama, you also have to responsible for yourself, and make sure that YOU stop bringing drama to little things that don't matter.

the MIL is kinda stealing her special moment by giving another child all the special things she has for being rb... (special dress and tiara etc)

WHAT?? The girl is 2. TWO years old, the other girl gets to be in the wedding and gets all the honors that goes with it. The other girl isn't going to give a rat's ass about another little girl who is just attending or wearing a tiara. Kids don't get into fits about that...it is adults that put those things into their heads. If nothing else she'll be glad to have another child around.

But, since it was only going to be ONE kid (it's our officiant's daughter whom I absolutely ADORE, well behaved, not annoying)

I still don't understand why you are getting married at a place that caters to kids and families. Guess what...you'll be surrounded by annoying kids that don't behave well. If someone doesn't like kids why would they get married somewhere they will be surrounded by them almost every moment? Frankly it is amusing.

It more sounds like your MIL is getting into the swing of a Disney wedding. Lets face it, every other kid in the place is able to pretend that they're a princess....unless they belong to your wedding party of course.

She's two! How is she going to detract from you?

imadanseur wrote:

the MIL is kinda stealing her special moment by giving another child all the special things she has for being rb... (special dress and tiara etc)

WHAT?? The girl is 2. TWO years old, the other girl gets to be in the wedding and gets all the honors that goes with it. The other girl isn't going to give a rat's ass about another little girl who is just attending or wearing a tiara. Kids don't get into fits about that...it is adults that put those things into their heads. If nothing else she'll be glad to have another child around.

was meaning in terms of how it looks... i doubt either girl will mind they'll be too busy having a whale of a time in their pretty outfits and probably having fun together

Just a note to all the posters on this thread.

There is a virtual Bridal Shower in progress to honor Amy. (Dancing_EMT)
www.dance.net . . .

Pop over and enter the duct tape dress contest (instead of the toilet paper bridal gown we did for Louise), bring along a gift or anything else you feel would add to the well wishes and general festivities.

Keep On Dancing*