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1st. Baby, Big Surprise!
By onelyfeoneluv
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:29 AM

I found out this past Friday that I was pregnant. I had a feeling I was, but I didn't think I could get pregnant so I didn't worry too much about it. Anyway's, I figured out that this Thursday I will be 9 wks. I called a doctor this morning and made an appointment. I have an appt. next Wed. @ 9 a.m. for my 1st. Ultra-Sound, then @ 9:45 I have a Prenatal appt., & at 10:30 I have an appt. with my OBGYN. What should I expect in all these appointments? I am very nervous as this will be my first child and it came as quite a surprise for me. I will be raising the child myself, so I do not have a lot or any support. Thank you.

25 Replies to 1st. Baby, Big Surprise!

re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise!
By Wicked_Elphabamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:34 AM
Unless you've had a hysterectomy or are abstinent, there's always a chance. Just sayin'
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise! (karma: 1)
By Theresamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:44 AM
^Wow. That was super helpful. Thank you.

OP - they're going to give you LOOOOOOTS of information at the first appointments. Do not hesitate to ask them to give you the information again, or to give it to you in writing.

They're pretty much going to establish that you've got your due date on track, establish that you do intend to keep the baby (they shouldn't be judgy or preachy about it, and don't be afraid to tell them to back off) but they'll want to clarify with you, you know...)

Ad then you're gonna get heaps of information. I got a packet explaining the number of doctors appointments I'd have to go to, a packet explaining my hospitals philosophies in regards to pregnant patients (when they want you to come in, how they'll handle you at the hospital, etc.), and a little magazine about how the baby would develop over the next nine months.

Then, because at the time that we met with the OB for the first time, we weren't totally decided on whether we were having the baby or not (we did go on to have the baby, of course), we talked to him about where he'd recommend us to go in the event that we decided not to have the baby.

And then that was it, and we were on our way home!
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise! (karma: 4)
By Cienmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:45 AM
Edited by CienPorCientoPAZ (147923) on 2011-11-21 11:45:48
^^So unnecessary, EMT. We know you had a hysterectomy. We know you hate kids. We know, we know, we know. Drop. It. Already. The OP said she doesn't have a lot of support, so unless you've got some, kindly take the child-free superiority complex that we all know you have somewhere else.

OP, I can't speak to what happens during those appointments, but I know we have several members who've been in your situation before and had things turn out really well, so I'm sure they'll be able to give much better insight on that.

Congratulations (if you're seeing this as a positive thing), and I hope everything works out okay. :)
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise! (karma: 2)
By d4jmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 12:03 PM
Not supportive and a little late, dontcha think, emt?

OP: Congratulations! :) Here's a good basic site to with lots of info for you:

www.whattoexpect.com . . .
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise! (karma: 1)
By Sumayah
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 12:08 PM
You sound excited so, congratulations! Like Cien, I've never been pregnant so listen to Theresa - I know other moms will drop in and give you their experiences too.

Unless you've had a hysterectomy or are abstinent, there's always a chance. Just sayin'


Unless you know her medical history, that's a really unfair statement. My mom had issues and was told she couldn't get pregnant again after my sister was born, and for ten years she didn't. Then life played a big joke on her and suddenly here I was. She had been told that due to her complications, it would be impossible to conceive another child, so after having been told that she was done, there were no more babies in her future, should she have stayed on birth control or used a condom anyway? And by the way I just totally grossed myself out writing that sentence. /shudder Fortunately, my mom wanted more kids so I was welcome surprise, but a surprise nonetheless. Also, certain medication lessen your fertility - I know phenobarbital does. So, we don't know if the OP has had any medical complications or is on medication where she's been told there's a better chance she'd get struck by lightning then get pregnant. So use a little empathy before making a sweeping and demeaning statement.
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise!
By Wicked_Elphabamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 12:37 PM
CienPorCientoPAZ wrote:

^^So unnecessary, EMT. We know you had a hysterectomy. We know you hate kids. We know, we know, we know. Drop. It. Already. The OP said she doesn't have a lot of support, so unless you've got some, kindly take the child-free superiority complex that we all know you have somewhere else.


Where did I say that? I said there's always a chance of pregnancy unless you lack a uterus or aren't having sex. I forgot we have to be kind and gentle and everything is puppies and rainbows.

Anywho.....your first appointment could either be a full exam with labs and what not or it might just be a "getting to know each other" type thing. If they do an ultrasound, probably be an internal one and they might make you have a full bladder. They'll also go over what to expect, mornisickness, spotting and other things. If you are taking any medications, call the Dr who prescribed them to you as many are not safe for pregnant women. Also ask the doctor what IS safe to take. Cold/flu season has arrived so you want to see what is safe to take if you get sick.

Thrift stores are AWESOME for finding clothes and baby furniture. I've gotten my friends babies outfits and a lot still had tags on them! Kids grow like weeds, so why spend $20 on a sleeper they might only wear once?! DO buy your carseat new UNLESS it's from a trusted friend/relative that you can trust when they say it's never been in an accident. Go to a fire station or local hospital and have them show you how to install a car seat correctly. Ask you Dr for recommendations for where to go if you'd like too.
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise!
By hummingbird
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 01:48 PM
Dancing_EMT wrote:

CienPorCientoPAZ wrote:

^^So unnecessary, EMT. We know you had a hysterectomy. We know you hate kids. We know, we know, we know. Drop. It. Already. The OP said she doesn't have a lot of support, so unless you've got some, kindly take the child-free superiority complex that we all know you have somewhere else.


Where did I say that? I said there's always a chance of pregnancy unless you lack a uterus or aren't having sex. I forgot we have to be kind and gentle and everything is puppies and rainbows.



You take every opportunity (and some that don't really exist) to state your feelings on this matter and there are many many reasons why you might not get pregnant even with a uterus.

OP take a look at the link d4j gave, it just about says it all and looks like it's a mine of information for you.

Ask if there are any single parent support groups in your area, some of them are very good and helpful and I see that site also has this link www.whattoexpect.com . . . and there are some single parent support groups on it too.

Good luck and congratulations.
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise!
By Kekoamember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 02:00 PM
I don't have any practical advice OP, I just wanted to say congratulations! I know that since you're doing this alone, you won't necessarily have everyone and their mother being excited for you. Enjoy your pregnancy. The fact that you are already asking questions and trying to prepare makes me think you're going to be a great mom :)
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise! (karma: 8)
By imadanseurPremium member
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 02:24 PM
Kudos to you for making a decision to have the baby, and it does sound like you are excited. I also know people that have done just find raising a baby on their own (not easy), but as long as you have a schedule, plan for things, and reach out and meet new people over the next 9 months (churches, expectant mom groups, etc.) you will be surrounded by love and people who will be supportive. Others already gave you the links on what to expect, and you'll find a ton of helpful advice here and on line through google.

I forgot we have to be kind and gentle and everything is puppies and rainbows.


No we don't, but how in the heck was your first reply even REMOTELY helpful to the question she asked? It wasn't, in fact it was off topic and I think a snarky jab.

OP you can ignore this...to other people on ddn this will be kind of like a public service announcement:

If you openly say you don't like kids and you constantly say how glad you are that you aren't going to have them...perhaps the Baby On Board forum isn't the place for you to be loitering?!? There are a ton of people that like kids and that actually have them, that can offer friendly helpful advice. Babies are actually a happy thing to some people even when they are a surprise (though I know that is next to impossible to believe.)
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise!
By Cienmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 03:12 PM
Dancing_EMT wrote:

Where did I say that?

Have you read your own posts? You say it ALL THE TIME. Literally, you have taken just about any and every thread about children, pregnancy, periods, sexuality, and childbirth as an opportunity to re-broadcast your own personal hostility towards having children.

I forgot we have to be kind and gentle and everything is puppies and rainbows.

This is not about being overly PC (to which you also have an aversion that you constantly repeat). Your post was purely unhelpful, and we don't need to hear how stupid you think people are for getting pregnant; we already know. Stop using every thread as your own personal stage.

Aaaand done talking about this on this thread. I felt it was necessary to defend my previous comments, but if you want to talk about this more, EMT, PM it.
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise!
By onelyfeoneluv
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 04:26 PM
Thank you for the helpful links/advice. I appreciate it.
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise!
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 04:28 PM
Congrats! You can join my Pregnant ladies club (we need to start another support thread, thinking of it...)!

Since you're only 9 weeks (or will you be almost 10 weeks by then?) the Ultrasound may or may not be very clear. My last baby looked like a gummy bear on the ultrasound at 10 weeks. I remember having an US at 7 weeks and seeing a bean with a heartbeat, but it was really that 10 week ultrasound that melted my lil' mommy's heart :) Warning: They may or may not use a "wand" vs. the topical probe for the Ultrasound, so expect to have the ultrasound "wand" do some rather interesting "probing".

The prenatal appointment will pretty much be asking you about every facet of your health, before and during pregnancy. They'll also talk about possible due dates (if the Ultrasound tech doesn't tell you). They may draw blood here too. They'll DEFINITELY have you pee in a cup (which'll be something you're a PRO at by the time you have the baby, lol). They'll talk about prenatal vitamins and (hopefully) healthy eating habits... Pretty much covering the basics. The docs appointment will probably consist of meeting your doctor (you'll only meet the Ultrasound tech at your US and probably a nurse at the prenatal appointment), a pap smear (if you haven't had one recently) and discussing everything that was touched on before by the nurse. This is the best time to ask questions, and if you're anything like me you forget what you need to ask when you're in the exam room, so write a list if you need to!

Lol, sorry, that was really long. I know you were kind of wondering what it'd be like, though, so I hope that helps :) Being a parent is a scary thing, but you sound like you're being awesome and responsible which is the best thing for your baby. You have our support here at DDN :)
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise!
By bethnee_rose
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 04:34 PM
Congratulations!!

This sounds like exactly what happened to a person I know... She was told by doctors that there was no possible way for her to get pregnant, then lo and behold two years later she got pregnant!

Good luck for your appointments! x
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise!
By mirrimmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 05:07 PM
They will also probably ask you about your medical history, and any medical history you know of the fathers'. If you don't know any, it isn't a big deal, DH is adopted, so we had no medical history for him, but if you know anything, speak up. They may also ask if you have any preferences yet about how you want the birth to go. You may also want to ask if they have any "musts"...like policies they have about how they do things during the birth, who is allowed in, etc. There is lots of time to decide about that stuff though, it will be an ongoing discussion. You will probably get a bunch of reading material.

Also, remember that pregnancies dated off you last period assume a perfect 28 day cycle, and are rough estimates at best. It may not match up perfectly with the ultrasound.
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise! (karma: 1)
By tumblebugPremium member
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 06:14 PM
Edited by tumblebug (25049) on 2011-11-21 18:15:36
Unless you've had a hysterectomy or are abstinent, there's always a chance. Just sayin'


I guess I'll hop on the unpopular side of the fence and say I didn't read into this statement as far as what some of the other posters did. I read it for what it said. I actually thought it was meant to be humorous, but maybe I'm wrong. I don't see any baby bashing or anything of the sort in this thread by Dancing_EMT, as some of you have suggested, or any notion that she has somehow made this 'her' thread to push her anti-child views. I think others have made this more about her than she has!

Anyway, all drama aside, there is lots of great info from everyone, especially the info regarding car seats. Congratulations and best of luck on your pregnancy! I just wanted to add a recommendation for these two books;

www.amazon.com . . .

www.amazon.com . . .
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise! (karma: 1)
By Queen_Jojo
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 06:38 PM
Congratulations!! Suprise babies are so much fun! lol! I had one of those when I least expected it, and she's now almost 18!!
The only advice I can give is if you have any questions in mind, writing them down can help so you don't walk out then realise you forgot to ask something really important.
Good luck with your pregnancy and don't forget your DDnet family want to see scan pics!

Queenie xx

Note to EMT:
If the op was a man then pregnancy would be pretty impossible too!!
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise! (karma: 1)
By Sumayah
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 06:43 PM
This is also a new member, she's made a grand 21 posts at this point, and if she's nervous and excited and looking for support, being told (even humorously) that she's essentially an idiot for assuming she can't get pregnant when we have absolutely no backstory is mean spirited. I'm impressed she came back and posted on this thread and I can only hope that whatever her circumstances may be, she does find the support and kind words she needs. It's a lot easier to drop those sorts of "tough love" comments on an established poster who we have a history of, but a new person? It seems awfully harsh to me. Anyway, I don't have anything to add beyond good wishes and Nyssa, if you start a pregnancy vcdt, post a link here so the OP can find it!
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise!
By LlamaLlamaDuckmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 06:45 PM
I would recommend a book called Pregnancy Chilbirth and the Newborn by Penny Simpkin. Great book!

Congrats!

I think at the first appt with the doc (I didn't have an OB just a fam dr that did OB care) I was asked about family history, and we just went though a questionaire, I was given requisitions for blood work and an ultrasound.

First ultrasound was more looking to see if there were any abnormalities with baby.

I remember the second exam I had a PAP done... It fell right around the same time as my usual physical so it was great! Well not great, but less sucky.

Enjoy every moment, take help as it's offered. It's a journey filled with all kinds of excitement and emotions. Scared of the whole pregnancy thing, labour, the fear of will I be a good enough parent, the joys of feeling baby move for the first time, the joys of seeing your child for the first time, holding him/her for the first time.

You will find most of us on ddn can be quite helpful... yes this started off with a fairly unhelpful post from someone who IMHO has no business posting on the BoB board on the fist place. Just ignore the unhelpful posts.

If you need anything feel free to PM me.
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise!
By mirrimmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Nov 21, 2011 06:56 PM
Oh! Yes, definitely write down questions! You will be amazed how many pop in your head at strange times and you can never remember them all. Even jotting them down in your cell phone can be handy if you have one on your most of the time.
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise!
By imadanseurPremium member
On Tue Nov 22, 2011 05:02 AM
I guess I'll hop on the unpopular side of the fence and say I didn't read into this statement as far as what some of the other posters did. I read it for what it said. I actually thought it was meant to be humorous, but maybe I'm wrong.


The question was:

What should I expect in all these appointments?

The answer was:

Unless you've had a hysterectomy or are abstinent, there's always a chance. Just sayin'.


How can you defend that as being helpful, on topic, and not snarky? What part of that is even a little bit humorous?

Hey OP, my friend suggested this site:

www.momspregnancyplanner.com
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise!
By Helenmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Nov 22, 2011 05:40 AM
Congrats.

Check out babycentre.com

I spend (spent) way to much time there.

Helen
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise!
By tumblebugPremium member
On Tue Nov 22, 2011 12:09 PM
Edited by tumblebug (25049) on 2011-11-22 12:12:09
Unless you've had a hysterectomy or are abstinent, there's always a chance. Just sayin'.

How can you defend that as being helpful, on topic, and not snarky? What part of that is even a little bit humorous?


Here, and I realize there may be some cultural/slang differences from here to there, if someone puts 'Just sayin'' at the end then it's usually meant with a light tone. That's the way I took it, personally. I can see the other side too of course, but I felt some of the comments were way over the top. I didn't see her say anything about child-bashing or making this her own thread. I don't always agree with the things Dancing_EMT says, and I think she knows that, but I didn't feel like she committed all of the acts she was accused of in THIS particular thread. I too am confused as to why she would be on this board at all with her strong personal views, but I thought the advice she offered in her second response was pretty sound.
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise!
By Cienmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Nov 22, 2011 12:22 PM
Edited by CienPorCientoPAZ (147923) on 2011-11-22 12:24:48
tumblebug wrote:

if someone puts 'Just sayin'' at the end then it's usually meant with a light tone.

Yeah, see, I take that (especially coming from the person it came from, in the context it was in) as a VERY snarky thing to say.

I didn't see her say anything about child-bashing or making this her own thread.

I brought that up because it happens ALL the time, all over this site, and everyone knows that it does, including EMT. She may not have explicitly said the things she usually does this time, but a snide comment about how "there's always a chance" just sounds like she thinks the OP's an idiot. It's like saying "God, how stupid are you for thinking this was a surprise?!" with a strong undertone of "Thank GOD I had a hysterectomy so I won't end up like you." It's condescending, rude, and it was unhelpful.
re: 1st. Baby, Big Surprise!
By mandakp
On Mon Nov 28, 2011 12:03 AM
I see "just sayin' " as snarky and passive agressive in some cases, so I agree with Cien and co. A statement like that was really not called for. I haven't been on ddn for long and even I recognised that as Dancing_EMT again inserting her opinions on children into a place where it didn't belong.

Congrats, OP!
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