I used to blog all the time. Like literally everyday. And to me, it was a huge deal when I got 20 views a day. Now, I never blog anymore, and it makes me sad. I don't feel comfortable blogging on facebook, because I feel like I put a piece of me into everything I write. After feeling extremely inspired by the other diaries here on DDN, I want to come back from my long writing hiatus. I want to share my trials and my achievements. I want someone to read this and tell me I'm not alone; that every mountain that is thrown in front of me, they have traveled over that same mountain.

I want to say, before I forget, I am ADD, and sometimes my thoughts are everywhere. But I will try hard to be coherent.

If you are unsure if you want to continue reading , here is a little about me: I am a poor university student, though I am hopefully going to graduate in less than a year, thank goodness. I am studying a little bit of everything and building my own degree. I live in the Midwest, USA. I am engaged to the love of my life; we have been together for a very, very long time. My mom is my best friend. I love my cats. My favorite foods are pasta and soup. I will try to type a little bit about me in each entry. Maybe one of you out there will have something in common with me, and we can be friends.


I have been dancing all my life, with large, forced breaks.
I have had classes in so many different dance types, but right now I am going to focus on Irish dance, ballet, jazz, hip-hop and lyrical. I am on a forced break again, awaiting a money miracle so I can afford to go to class again.

And even though my technique is horrible, I still dream of dancing all the time. And when I'm dancing in my dreams, it's like I'm flying. And I am so happy. So ridiculously happy, I can't even describe it, though I am sure many of you understand how that feels.

Now, for the dance part of this diary... I just worked out for a little bit, as I'm trying to get back into shape for when I can afford to return to Irish dance lessons. I am already aching and tired! This is so frustrating. I hate that every time I am forced to take a break from dance, I get out of shape. I relearn everything again muscle memory wise, and then forget it. I was struggling to do my beginner Irish dance slip jig and reel; when I took a break, I was doing novice steps. I know the steps. I see them in my head. But making my body do them is whole other bag of chips that I can't seem to open.



When I first started Irish dancing a few years ago, I danced with an amazing, though lesser known, CLRG school. My teacher was fantastic. What I learned in a year with only class a week was amazing. My classmates were amazing. But then, of course, I made the decision to move for school, and had to leave. But I think of that school and my classmates often, as I miss them.

When I do start dance again, I have decided to dance with an open platform school, and I am really excited about this. I have already talked with the teacher of the school. I really like the idea of an open platform feis, so I am looking forward to the experience. There are only two schools within a decent driving distance here, one CLRG, and then the open platform school. I honestly did not feel like the CLRG school was a fit for me. I could beat around it and deny it, but I may as well be honest. I was not happy there. So, for now, I am dancing at non-CLRG school, and I am looking forward at trying something new.

I think I have written enough for one entry. If you actually read any of this, kudos to you. Thank you for taking time out of your day to read my ramblings.

the turning ones are the best!

Just wanted to let you know I'll be stalking your diary. Also, you're a great writer.

Dancindave08109 - My favorite ones are where I'm leaping, because it makes me feel like I am flying.

novicedancer1991 - Stalkers are always welcome here! Also, thank you for the compliment! I have never really thought that I am a good writer, but I appreciate your compliment !

Dance related news first, then, I suppose. I ordered a pair of new-to-me ghillies on Ebay and I am so excited to get them. I want a pair of practice ghillies so I'm not constantly dancing in my Celtic Choice shoes, which I would like to save for competition, when I eventually get to that point. I also sold my first pair of hardshoes today. It is definitely bitter-sweet, but I can't hang on to a pair of shoes that don't fit. That's silly. They have never fit; there is no reason to keep them. So, I'm trying to take baby steps with letting little things go. The shoes are the first things to go.

I am travelling to my mom's house for Thanksgiving today. D, my fiance, has to work tonight. It's quite depressing that he will be working until the wee hours of Thanksgiving morning and that he, therefore, can't be with my family tomorrow. I hate leaving him alone, but this may be on of my last Thanksgiving's in this state, so I want to enjoy it with my mother, aunt, uncle, and cousins while I can.

I am originally from the south, but I followed my mom 2,000 miles north to her homestate area. Well, I'm homesick for the family I left behind. I hope to find a job in my hometown and move back when I graduate from university in August. If I don't, I will stick around and stay with my mom. Don't really want to leave until I have a job secure.

I almost forgot! The reference for the title of this diary comes from a song from the 80s where one of the lines is "The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had." My friend quoted that song on facebook 3 years ago when they were depressed. I replaced "dying" with "flying" in an effort to cheer them up. It worked.

But to me, dancing is flying. Those words are synonymous with each other. If I can go back to dance and gain my strength and flexibility back, I will also gain wings. I hope and pray that is what happens. I dream of it everyday.

Ciao for now.

I'm now listening to the Gary Jules version of Mad world, though I love the Tears for Fears version too.

Also, I do believe I will be following your diary.

I'm happy you recognized the title! Also, I would love another follower. Followers are why my diary is public!

I am feeling rather bummed today because I have plantar warts!! I got one on my right foot after trying on sandals at a shop a few months ago with my mother. Now They have spread and I have two more popping up on my left foot. My doctor told me to use an acid but it's not helping. They just continue to grow. I am going to try putting tape over them later today; supposedly, it works.

Because of the immense pain my feet are in, I can't dance. It hurts way too much Stupid warts.

My mom is visiting me right now (she lives 3 hours or so away from me) and helping me clean house for the holidays. We will hopefully have the tree up by Sunday, which I am really looking forward to. It is a white, artificial Christmas tree. I think we have decided to decorate it with a rainbow of colors. In the past we've done just one color, but I am looking forward to having a variation all over the tree.

School is almost finished for the semester. I have finals the week after next and all of my research papers are due next week. I am going to lock myself in my university's library and not let myself out until I am done with those dang papers. I made a poor choice by being a history major: I absolutely adore history, but I hate the research papers that come with it.

I am feeling sort of off today because of the pain in my feet. Ciao for now, all.

I had a nightmare a few months ago and it still haunts me. It's like a shadow behind me; following me as I strive to be a better dancer.

I dreamed that I was desperately trying to find a dance school to take me (like I was in real life at that time). The teachers would all turn me away, saying I was too "old," even though I just turned 22. I kept telling them I love dance with my entire heart. I said, "This is my life. You are killing me by not letting me dance!"

I woke up very upset. Thankfully, D was beside me. I didn't wake him, but I held him close. It helped.

I am determined to turn that nightmare into a dream come true. I am going to find a school and flourish. I am going to thrive and grow as a dancer and a person, even if I am "too old" to some.

Try a just ripe banana skin, it worked once for me, but not after that. I eventually had to get liquid nitrogen to get them out. For the banana skin to work, you need to have excellent plasters that will hold it in place so it does not move and not allow it to get wet as it goes from that greeny-yellow to pure brown.

Banana skin, huh? That's interesting. How long do you wear it for?
I'm currently wearing the acid pads, but they just kill my feet! Ugh. They hurt. But letting the warts grow is worse, for sure.

So my semester is coming to an end. And here I am, just like every other time. I put off doing my papers until the last minute. I always ask myself, "Why do I do this?" I always say I will never do it again. Next time will be different. I won't make this mistake again. And yet, here we go... AGAIN. I'm about to graduate and I still can't pace myself with my research papers! I have 3 due; two next week, but my most difficult and intensive one is due Sunday. I need to lock myself in one of the uni's libraries. I really, really do.

I am looking forward to next semester. Aside from a freshman level counseling class (I need counseling experience for the jobs I want to apply for... I hope to work on staff for a college/university), all my classes are online. I am so looking forward to that. Being so sick like I have been, I just haven't felt like going to class.

I am going stir crazy. I think it's called cabin fever, but I'm not sure. I want to go out. I want to do something. I want to build a dance floor; D and I are waiting until he gets paid before we buy the materials for it. We are going to try to be as cheap as possible. I think I want to try the shower tub liner method first as it is supposed to be fairly inexpensive.

In March, on my spring break, there is going to be an open feis in Richmond, VA. My uncle lives in Richmond, and it has been years since I have seen him. I would love to make it my first in-person feis and also get to see him. So, I am aiming for that right now.

I need to study. Need. To. Study.
Ciao for now ~.

^ I used apple cider vinegar to get rid of one of my warts. It was extremely stubborn and wouldn't go away, no matter what treatment I used (except for that one). It hurt like heck, but after about a week the acid in the vinegar had eaten it away. Just try not to get any on the surrounding skin - Ow!

www.apple-cider-vinegar-benefits.com . . . shows how you can use it. I really recommend giving it a try.

I used a perfectly ripe piece of skin, very fat, and stuck it well on, and waited until it had gone really thin... It was very brown, and I used plasters that didn't come off easily in the shower or anything. Have to be careful that it doesn't move, but basically just until it goes completely brown.

That worked perfectly for one I had, but I had another and nothing worked, luckily it wasn't very painful, but it grew and it annoyed me. It grew and grew and covered the ball of my foot, and I tried everything to get rid of it, including lots of banana skins that worked so well for me in the past. Then I had to get it frozen off with liquid nitrogen. Took a lot of sessions with the doctor, but it worked, eventually!

Where can I get apple cider vinegar from? I feel silly asking, but I've looked around at a few stores and haven't seen it yet. Also, I tried the banana peel, but I just couldn't make it stay. It kept wiggling and moving. I may end up freezing these stupid things off...

So, a bit of a dance update. D and I went out and recently spent $60 USD on dance floor material. I bought the shower pan liner by Oatey at my local hardware store (Home Depot) after I read about it here on DDN. It was only right after I bought it that I read it was possibly toxic! Now, I'm not sure what to do. There is no where for me to practice but at home.

Do I chance it and dance on the flooring? Or do I do something else? I just don't know....

My dad says you can find it next to the regular vinegar in stores. It should have a brown tint to it. Are you in the USA?

Yes, I am in the states, but I still haven't seen it yet. Maybe I am just missing it?

So I have been neglecting my diary; mostly because I haven't been doing anything dance related. I am currently at one of my homes (I have three... one where my school and fiance are, one where my mom is, and one where my dad and brother are 1,000 miles away from the other two) visiting with my mom because of the holidays. It's been a pleasant stay thus far and I am going to be homesick when I leave in two days. However, I will also be relieved. I am getting cabin fever. I want to do things... Something. Anything. I have felt bored the past few days and want to dance desperately but there is no room here.

Because I want to get comfortable with this being a diary about all things, not just dance, I want to write about Mac.

Mac is the kind of guy you read about in books. I met Mac my freshman year of uni in a martial arts class (I am no longer actively taking martial arts lessons at this time ). Mac is the opposite of D personality-wise - he's dangerous (in a good way), unexpected, and you never know how he is going to react or what he is going to do.

Mac and I hit it off really well as friends. We spent hours at our local Taco Bell, hanging out and playing his dijembe (sorry if that isn't the right spelling of that) drum in his car, playing with his colony of (30+) cats, and walking through corn fields together. He was wild and off the wall, and I loved it.

People would ask me why I wasn't interested in dumping D and dating Mac. They didn't get it. Mac was so cool, so rare, so different. But that is why I said he was dangerous. Mac is a leaf floating in the wind. You never know where he is going to go until the last second.

Mac, a 4.0 GPA (all As) student, dropped out of his prestigious university program and now has a few odd jobs while he saves up to visit South America on a Buddhist Pilgrimage. Mac is doing everything I would never do, nor do I want to. I'm happy for him, but our lives are definitely on two totally different paths.

I'm happy I realized back then, just a few years ago, it'd never work out between us. D is safe and perfect for me. I like safe... I love safe. I need safe.

I go back to uni on Tuesday and classes start next Monday; Happy New Year all!

I forgot to mention in my last post that I met Mac when D and I were living in two different states (D was working full time and I was at uni).

The last few days have almost been a nightmare. I say almost because I had good things going on to balance the bad out, but still... I found out I lost my scholarship at my uni. I needed a GPA of 3.0, and I have a 2.7. I was so sick this semester that I messed up one of my classes. Not even my A, A, and B- could save me from the D- I got, which just killed me.

So I have been worrying myself sick, literally. I was frantic and panicky, going crazy. I E-mailed several people begging for help, including my boss. My boss E-mailed some of the heads of various departments at the school (I work for my school and my boss is a head of a different department) and yet nothing came out of all her hard work. But - this is the silver lining here - she did offer me a 10 hour per week job starting in a few weeks. It's a project she is working on, possibly making a calendar for all new university students attending school starting in August. I hope that is what it is, but I was so thankful, I didn't even ask.

So I am going to slowly pay off my tuition over a few months, so that's not my REAL problem.
The real problem is my health insurance, which I have to pay $1,500 for. UGH! I hate the cost. Love the service, hate the cost, must pay anyways. So I will either pull out a loan for $1,500 or my uncle will loan me the money and I will pay him back slowly. My uncle is like a second dad to me, and I am so thankful to him for even offer this to me.

It's snowing outside. This is our first "real" snow of the season (and of course of the year). It's beautiful, but I love and hate it at the same time. I'm not looking forward to walking in it when I go back to work and school.


So I said I would try to type a little bit about me each time I typed an entry. I am neglecting that. So here is my little fact: I love spring, summer, and autumn. Winter and I... we are not talking currently. We got into a fight last year after it snowed during spring.

Well, I think I am going to take a nap now. Ciao for now ~.

I am frustrated.

If I can get anything accomplished tomorrow, anything at all, I would love to get the dance floor laid out and all ready for me to dance on. I have not danced in God knows how long, and my legs itch... They itch to dance. They itch to move in time to the music. My feet want to bounce against the ground and spring me into the air so that I may feel like I am flying, like I do in my dreams.

I am so out of shape, I am almost scared to start working out again. But it needs to happen. It's going to happen. I am going to get back into shape, back into dancing shape. I am going to fit in my wedding dress, whenever my wedding is. Before that, I will be at least ready for swimsuit season. I am determined. I want to be healthy like I used to be.

Dance, you will bring me health!

School starts this week; thankfully I only have class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I will be doing online classes the other days of the week, though; but it's still nice I don't have to commute to class 4 days a week like last semester.

Also, I found out I basically can't graduate until December 2012. I really wanted to avoid this, but it didn't happen. Oh well. My mom reminded me that a year flies by and I will be graduating before I know it. I hope so.

So, for this next year, I hope it is filled with dance, dance, and more dance.

Ciao for now ~.

STILL frustrated!

I am struggling with my weight right now due to a medication I am taking in an effort to give me more energy (I suffer from chronic fatigue). I know we can't post weight numbers, but I think I can post this: I found out yesterday that I have gained almost 30 pounds since I started the medication at the end of November. This is so upsetting.

I also tried to dance my steps, and I couldn't get through a step on two feet yesterday (translated: I couldn't get through half of one of my dances). I wanted to cry. My stamina sucks so bad. But I am going to continue going to the gym and try to combat this weight gain and also this horrible lack of stamina.

Not much going on here otherwise; just trying to get by in school. I have already spent several hours doing math today, which is a class I keep failing and part of the reason why I am not graduating on time.

I am exhausted. I am going to go to bed.
Ciao for now ~.

I am so tired.
I shouldn't be this tired. It's not healthy. It's really, really not. I'm scared. I feel like I can't go to school, I can't do my homework. I can't do anything. What do I do?

I hate chronic fatigue. I hate what it is doing to my life. I hate it.

Hoping and praying for a change.

I had a major breakdown last night.

I was forced to go off of my meds for four days because of insurance issues, and I finally have them in my system again, but it will take a while for me to feel myself again. I can't remember if I mentioned this before, but I was diagnosed with depression 11 years ago when I was only 11 years old. I have been treated for it off and on since then. I am now at the age where I realize I need it to survive in this fast-paced world, because otherwise I cannot mentally keep up. I get overwhelmed and anxious so quickly without my medication.

Like yesterday. I skipped all of my classes (dumb move #1). I then proceeded to do nothing but sit all day. I was depressed and stressed out about money and school. Eventually I called my mom and broke down on the phone. She cheered me up, but it didn't last long. Eventually I started having bad thoughts (they might be triggering, so I don't want to post what they were here). I was laying in bed with D thinking about these things when he rolled over and put his hand on me. I immediately felt so selfish and stupid for wanting to hurt myself when he loves me so much. I woke him up and told him how I was feeling. He begged me not to do anything to myself just because we are hurting for money. He reminded me that other people love me, too, and that it wouldn't just be him hurting if something happened to me.

Again, after crying it out, I felt a little better. I eventually fell asleep and woke up and felt a lot better. I think I just needed to get everything off my chest, because holding it all in was getting me nowhere.

Now today is a new day and I would like to get some things done, even though I still do not feel so well.

Still no dancing regularly. I danced some last week and that was it. I want to finally finish my dance floor. Maybe that can be my goal for this weekend? I want to finish the dance floor. I will finish my dance floor.

I will.

I have been so busy!!!

I work for my university (as a student employee), though I was just seasonal/as needed until this past week. I now work 3 days a week, at about 10 hours. It doesn't sound like much, but those 10 hours used to be when I would do my homework. Now I have to find another time to do it.

Hoping to officially, OFFICIALLY return back to dance this week or next. I've been working out at the gym a bit, trying to build up stamina. I've been able to get on a workout bike and ride for 30 minutes without stopping. I think that's progress.

I hate how jazz, tap, ballet, and Irish dance class all fall on the same day of the week. I hate having to chose only one when I really want to try all. I say try because I'm worried I'm going to quit again. I know I'm being pessimistic, but I am worried I'm either not going to like the teaching style, not like the class, get injured, or something like that. I hope not, because my options in this city are severely limited because I'm an "adult."

Speaking of which... Sometimes I do feel like a real "adult." I pay all of my own bills. I generally make all my own decisions, though I tend to ask for advice. I do all my grocery shopping. I (attempt) to do all my own chores. I pay rent, bills, etc. But other times I just wish I was back in high school, when life was so much easier. When my biggest worry was a physics exam, not how I was going to pay the next bill. I don't even feel like a college student. I feel like I'm pushed and pulled between wanting to be a "teen" and just enjoy life to living like I wouldn't wish on anyone my age - completely independent financially and constantly worrying.

I wish I could find a happy medium. I want to enjoy this last year of college. Though honestly, December can't come fast enough. Then I can say "bye bye, uni," and move back home and get a big girl job.

I think I'm making less sense as this entry goes on. I must be tired.

Ciao for now.~

So much, and yet so little, is going on right now.

I say so much because a lot of things have happened in a short amount of time. And I say so little because I am currently sitting at home enjoying my free time.

I got my new Hullachan shoes in the mail a few days back! I bought them from someone who said they were brand new, and while they appear to be brand new, the heel padding has come out of one of the shoes. So I have to find some way to repair it. Otherwise, I love them. I have only ever worn Celtic Choice soft shoes, so I didn't understand when people tried to explain that Hullachan's tie differently, but they do, and I prefer it. Otherwise, the Hullachan Pro shoes and my Celtic Choice shoes feel very similar when being worn. It's still too early to tell which pair I will prefer to wear.

I really wish that there could be a Highland/Scottish dance school near me. I want to try it out so badly. There is just something about dance... I love so many different types, but I don't live in a very culturally rich place right now; it's hard to find places to dance around here.

Which reminds me... I didn't go back to dance this week. I am so mad at myself. I'm scared. I'm scared to start again. I'm scared of failing. I'm scared of going and not liking the atmosphere of the class, like I did last time.

Some people on here know what school I took a class with (Irish dance), so I don't want to bad-mouth the school, but because of that one class, I am now literally afraid to go back to dance. It ruined things for me.

Maybe I'm being silly. That was just one class. Who is to say another class won't go 100% better? I also found another teacher who would take me, but I'd be going to privates with her and they are expensive. So those are my reasons for not returning to either school: 1) I'm afraid, and 2) to go to the other school I haven't tried out yet is going to be much more expensive.

I just want to put on my shoes and dance, but I'm so scared of making a fool of myself, of getting injured again...

Now I'm just rambling.

I'm thinking about trying to clean and get some work done, maybe. Or maybe not. Maybe I will just waste more time doing nothing.

Or not.

Ciao for now~.

Edit:
I almost forgot to post that I dreamed about dancing again last night! I dreamed I went to an open class with my cousins who used to dance (she gave it up some time ago, though she was very, very good). We had an amazing time, and I found out that my cousin's family was going to purchase the studio, so I could go back to the class any time I wanted to.

If my dreams are trying to tell me something, it's that I MISS DANCE. And I NEED to go back.

I AM GOING BACK TO DANCE TOMORROW NIGHT!

Yes, no wiggling out of it now! No more being scared to go back! I have my first class since this past summer tomorrow. I am SO excited! Scared, yes, but my excitement overcomes my fear, I think.

It's an open-platform school, with a few competitive opportunities, and several performance opportunities. I am a little bummed, because I am starting so late, I won't be ready for St. Patrick's Day this year, but that's okay. There is always next year. That, and there will be more opportunities, including a few festivals. I just can't wait to dance!

I tried to run through my reel, slip jig, and treble jig a few nights ago. Surprisingly, my stamina was okay. It was my memory that gave me a hard time remembering all my steps. I had a hard time keeping with the music as well, but that has almost always come natural to me, so I'm sure it will come back to me soon.

I am just so excited about tomorrow night! I will try to post a diary entry afterwards and let you all know how it goes. I hope it goes well, that I like the class, and that I go back.

In other news, my job and uni has me very busy. Trying to balance work and homework has been difficult. I used to work 30 hours a week and make straight As, so why I can't do that now, I don't know. Maybe it's my health? That, and now I can't sleep at night any longer. But I am going to start taking fish oil and a few other supplements to hopefully boost my energy to get me through the day. Like today, I found myself wanting to fall asleep at my work computer. I had to try so hard to stay awake. I got plenty of sleep, but it was sporadic sleep, not consistent sleep. Sigh.

I have another bit of news... I just bought my plane ticket to go home to see my dad! Although my mom lives in the same state I currently live in now, my dad lives 1,000 miles away, where I grew up, in the south. So I am pretty stoked to be going home to see him.

So much is going on, but I am tired, so I am going to go to sleep.

Ciao for now ~.

I did it! I went to dance class and I had SO much fun! It was a blast. A lot was thrown at me really quickly. The classes are prepping for St. Patrick's Day (like I thought they would be), so the teacher was trying to get me to learn as much as I possibly could over the span of two 45 minute classes.

Right now, I'm trying to decide if I want to just take one class a week or two classes, back to back, on the same night. Sadly the studio only offers ID classes one night a week. I wish they were spread out, but that's not an option right now. I am not sure the teacher, who was extremely nice, felt okay with me consistently taking a class with the younger kids. I just couldn't tell. So I don't know if I should only take the class with the older kids or take both. Or not. This is definitely something I'm going to have to sleep on.

But she wants me to participate on St. Patrick's day! I could hardly believe that. I was like, really? So I am going to have a private next week to hopefully catch up some and learn some of the steps so I can do a few of the dances in a show. However, being in a show would require me to more than likely miss class and work, so I may skip out on it this year. Hard to say right now.

Also, I get to participate in the recital! This is so exciting for me, as I love dancing in recitals and haven't been in one since I was 16 and in high school. The costumes are $100, but that's okay. A mom is making skirts with a Claddagh on them for the girls with matching capes.

Overall, I had a lot of fun tonight. The only thing I don't like is that there is no warm-up. I guess all the girls had other classes and they all come to class warmed-up. It's also an issue because there is absolutely no space in the studio to warm up. So I guess what I will have to do is warm-up as much as possible at home and hope for the best (it's a 15 minute drive to the studio). Also, some of the younger girls could not keep their feet still so the teacher could teach! They kept battering/trebling away while the teacher was giving instructions. This was never an issue at the school I first started at, because we were all adults and knew better. Younger girls just can't seem to get over all the fun noises they can make with their feet...

I got to do my reel by myself for the class and part of my slip jig (because I only remember the first step, lol). It was kind of embarrassing, because it's been so long since I've done my steps full out. I'm surprised I had the stamina to get through it all.

Also, I am kind of ashamed to admit I almost didn't go to class. Why? Because I was scared. I was scared to be an adult going to a "kids" studio, scared no one would like me, scared the teacher would be mean (like LAST time, ugh), etc. But everyone was so nice, the teacher was nice, the kids weren't afraid of me like the last school I tried a class at, and some even tried to teach me steps. It was just such a different experience from the CLRG school I visited this past summer. Yes, this school is open-platform. Yes, my chances to compete are very limited because this isn't a CLRG school. But you know what? That's okay. Competition is just something that comes along with dancing - it's not the main part of it. I'd rather go to a school and be happy with my dance classes then be terrified to go to the next class like I was at my CLRG school.

(Just to clarify for any new readers: I went to a CLRG school for a little over a year, moved, tried a new CLRG school, hated it, and now I have ended up at this performance focused school. If you don't know what CLRG/non-CLRG means, just skip this part... lol.)

What finally made me decide to go to class was D. He got frustrated when I said I didn't think I was going to go because I was scared, and he said "You know what? You're not getting any younger." And that was it! I was like, you're right! I'm not! I need to stop wasting time and start doing what I love! Especially now that I am doing better healthwise!

I wore my Hullachan hardshoes for the first time. WOW! I love them! They are the old version, not the new version; I bought them brand new off a dancer on Ebay. They are a little narrow and tight, but I think that once they stretch out a little, they'll be perfect. I love the little bit of... I don't even know what to call it... material that is under the tip of the shoe that keeps you from sliding.

Wow, talk about a long diary entry. And I'm sure I'll think of more to talk about... But I think that's it, for now. I have work tomorrow, and then the weekend. Then on Saturday, I only have a week before I get to GO HOME 1,000 miles away! Yay! So sad D can't go with me this time (it's his home, too), but I need to see my father, who is ill.

So, here I go! Ciao for now~!

Congrats on finding a school that seems to work for you, and for having the courage to go! I know what it's like to re-start dance, and also to be the only adult dancing with kids/teens. Good luck to you.

seannetta wrote:

Congrats on finding a school that seems to work for you, and for having the courage to go! I know what it's like to re-start dance, and also to be the only adult dancing with kids/teens. Good luck to you.

Thank you for the encouragement! Thankfully, the "kids" made me feel right at home. Also, one of them asked me if I was in the 8th grade... I wasn't sure how to take that! Yeah, I was in 8th grade... close to ten years ago! lol

I recently realized is that because the dance school is part of a studio, that means that more than likely I will have to stop dancing over the summer during the studio's break. It's too bad, but I'm going to be very busy trying to get ready to graduate this summer anyways.

If everything goes according to plan, then after this summer, I will need only 10 credit hours to graduate from my university! That is about 4 classes That is so exciting! If I work very hard and make sure I do everything right, I can graduate this December! Wow! I kept thinking that wasn't going to be an option, but it could be. However, I won't be TOO sad if I don't graduate until next May. But I would like to be done ASAP. School is expensive.

In dancing news, I realized I don't have anything to wear for St. Patrick's day. All of the girls are going to be wearing school dresses. Basically, no matter what I wear, I'm going to stick out , possibly in a bad way if I'm not comfortable with my steps. Even though I am being given the opportunity to perform, I just don't know if I will be comfortable and ready to dance after only a month. I guess we'll see!

Not much else is going on here. I spent my weekend doing basically nothing, and now I have work tomorrow and a lot of homework to finish tomorrow night. Ah well. That's okay. Stuff happens.

Not much else to write as of right now... Can't wait until I leave to go to one of my two "homes" 6 days from now! I am thinking about bringing my soft shoes and doing a photo shoot at my dad's house (he has a really nice deck and I have taken pictures while dancing on it before). If I do, I will be sure to post my pictures here.

Ciao for now.