My life just isn't going well right now. All I want to do is scream and cry and punch something.

I was doing pretty well and feeling pretty stable and then I went off one of my meds. My pdoc added another med in place of the Zyprexa after I said I wasn't doing too hot. It's been a couple of weeks and I don't think that the new med is doing it's job so maybe I should up the dose (obviously talking to my pdoc about it -- I see her next week).

But this week has been especially bad. I feel like I'm just so over so many things...being at home, work, taking meds, Christmas etc. Pretty much the only positive right now is that I'm going back to school in a month (I grudgingly took this semester off).

On the taking meds front, I've been bad. The last 2 nights I haven't taken them. It just makes me so mad that I have to be dependent on some stupid chemicals to function like a normal person!

I don't know...I just really needed to vent.

I'm sorry you are having such a crappy time, KOS. I'm stressed about the holiday's too. I have to go to 5 Christmas dinners, starting tonight, and I'm dreading all the running around and the expectations that come with Christmas.

Hope things start looking up for you!

I'm really sorry your having a crap time at the moment. I remember how upset I was when I had to take medication for something, it wasn't long long term but it was a pretty long while, so I guess its not really the same. I was just so angry that I had to be dependent on these drugs, they made me feel horrible and it seemed like they were doing nothing. But I knew deep down that if I didn't take them things would just get worse and I would never recover.

Things will get better, if you ever want to talk feel free to PM me. Thinking of you xx Hugs xxx

If you feel like screaming and crying and punching something, maybe that is what you need to do.
I've been through the 'battle of the mood stabilizers' before and it was so very difficult. Things that helped me feel better were things that helped to clear my head, like long walks and curling up with a book, painting or finding a good friend for a coffee and rant session. I would be lying if I didn't say I beat up a few pillows and cried and screamed also. That can really help! Let it out. You have my support and I'm sending you wishes for stability and comfort, and brighter times ahead.

Thanks guys.

It's just so hard with everything going on...and honestly, by the end of every day I hate everything and everyone. And things are especially hard right now because I couldn't make it to my therapy session last week, and my therapist is out of her office this week.

Sorry your feeling that way *hugs* hope you feel better soon! At least pain is only temporary, and that it can be overcome.

The only other thing I can offer is humour. Hope the pics are ok!

GAAAA HHHH !

There. I screamed. I just had to do it. Today wasn't any better and well, this is the result.

*HUGS* I can relate about the not-taking-meds thing. I 'forget' to take my meds a lot, especially when I'm feeling down. My husband has to get on my case every day to make sure I've taken them. It totally sucks some days.

I'm sorry you're going through such a crappy time of flux right now; I remember the med adjustment times too and how hard some of them were. Hang in there, it WILL get better! Don't be afraid to express your frustration in safe ways. *HUGS*

Thanks for the support. I'm still going through the rough patch and at least tomorrow I get to see my therapist and Thursday I get to see my psychiatrist.