N and I have recently made the decision to start trying for a family. We're both 34.

I've been on BC since I was 17, and came off it altogether in November. I know it is only January but I'm still trying to figure out my cycle, and what's going on with various aspects of it. (This was stuff they never taught us in sex ed!)

I was wondering if any of you who have been actively trying in the past have any pearls of wisdom to share? Things to do/not do, what worked for you/what didn't, etc?

I am not TTC but I did find that doing the BBT (temperature readings) really helped me after I went off the pill. It helped me to figure out my cycle, what were my fertile days, etc.
My cycle was wacked for about 2 years after BC though.
I have also found that taking Evening primrose oil helped my cycle to get back on track ( I did not take it during those 2 years, but once I did, things fell into place after a couple months)

Please don't take any herbal supplements based off my post!!! Consult your doctor. (Not that I think you would, but I just want to put that out there for anybody who reads this. I am not advocating anything, just mentioning something that worked for me personally.)

Buy or borrow the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" It is an excellent book that really helps you understand what is going on with your body and how to track it.

I highly recommend charting your temperature and fertility signs. It really helps clear away the "mystery" about what is going on.

Try not to obsess over things like ovulation tests and constantly taking pregnancy tests. Being a POAS (pee on a stick) addict is stressful and exhausting. Not to mention, getting negative tests because you started testing too early is really depressing.

It probably will not happen right away. Try not to worry about it. It may take your body a while to get back to normal. Also, it takes an average of 6 months for a couple to fall pregnant. That is for people who have no fertility issues and timed everything perfectly. And that is an average, so for all the couples that get pregnant in the second month, someone else may take 10 months, and still be in the range or normal.

Also, once again, don't stress yourself! It is normal for some couples to take as long as 2 years. That's okay. But if you want to do it faster (pardon the pun), don't stress.

I also highly recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility, charting and temping. I say give yourself six months of 'fun' without timing when you have relations and things of that nature. After that time period is up, then go after TTC. It will give your body time to go back to its natural cycle after so many years on hormonal BC.

A friend of mine was on the pill so long her period did not restart. She went to the doctor, he gave her a shot and her cycle restarted. She was pregnant 4 months later.

Also, belly dance seems to do wondrous things for the uterus, so keep at it, lol!

Thank you all for the suggestions!

I got a hold of an ebook copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility. yesterday. I'm about halfway through reading it, but I'm going to have to go back and read it again, I think, to make sure it all sinks in!

I haven't been charting temperatures, but I've been charting my period and other changes and interesting goo for about six months anyway (as I was irregular even on the Pill, and had a scare when it went MIA for a month back in October. Pinkpad is an awesome phone app for tracking everything, btw) My period seems to be pretty much back to what it was before I went on the pill - long and heavy - so I'm hopeful that that's a positive sign that things are getting back to whatever is normal for my body. As for supplements, currently I'm taking my regular multi vitamins, but that's it. I used to take evening primrose oil to try and easy my period, but found it didn't do much for me at the time.

We're both determined not to stress or make it the sole purpose of physical intimacy! For the first six months or so, we're just going to see what nature wants to do. After that, we might see about getting thermometers and other more technical apparatus, as well as seeing a doctor.

Cele: I wish I was still bellydancing! The only classes I could get to were cancelled last year. Zumba is the latest fitness fad, so nobody is doing bellydancing around here anymore.

Oh! Make sure you start taking a prenatal! You need the folic acid BEFORE you get pregnant.

Thanks for the reminder! I didn't even think about prenatals before becoming pregnant - I thought they were for the actual pregnancy stage!

Yes prenatal vitamins. Regular vitamins aren't great because of the vitamin A in them.

Above all, don't stress and take it easy.

Helen

Best advice I can give is stuff the temperature charts and all that rubbish and just have sex when you feel like it, not when the charts tell you to!
Many times couples have problems ttc because they feel presurised to have sex at set times and it can hinder conception rather than help!!

^ for once I agree with queenjojo... I say just have fun for a while, see what happens... go like that for a few months, if nothing happens than maybe start getting a bit more serious.... but most importantly have fun...

I suppose it depends on your personality and your body. Coming from someone who routinely had 60 day cycles and had no idea if I was even able to get pregnant on my own, charting and actually seeing signs of ovulation helped relive stress for me, didn't add to it. But if you have the tendency to obsess it can be stressful.

I remember watching a movie where the guy had a pager and had to go to his wife right away to have sex so they could conceive... that is when things start to get a bit crazy.

I think if you have a good idea of when you are ovulating and maybe trying to get a bit more frisky during those times you are all good.

I did the 'don't time it' thing for a while and nothing was happening. When I started temping and charting I saw there was a differential difference between one part of my cycle and another part of my cycle and it was true, I was less stressed because I could then tell my body was doing what it was supposed to do and I trusted that it would happen when it should happen. Within 3 months of THAT I got pregnant. Not everyone can just BANG! get pregnant instantly. Some of us need to know when we should do what we need to do.

Another friend of mine, same thing, 2 years plugging away. Nothing. I loaned her my fertility monitor and she got pregnant the first month after learning when to time sexual relations.

And no, I never had my husband pop home in the middle of the day to fertilize an egg. I found out early in the morning 'ooh, I'm fertile today'. We happened to get around to some fun at some point during that day and that was that.

Just popping in to say that it's SUPER cool to track your fertility and better understand your cycle. Plus, who says it's not fun to schedule sex? It's one thing if it's all scheduled, but if it's only scheduled around ovulation? Hey, gives you both something to really look forward to

Good luck! I monitor my fertility to TTA, but it's so cool. I wish you luck and impending pregnancy

Thanks, y'all. While I am still on my multivitamins (max vit.A dosage: 750mcg /day, which the net tells me is still safe) I have started taking folate supplements as well.

I started tracking back in June last year, because even when I was on the pill (and I tried *lots*), everything was erratic. I knew when I was meant to start my period, buuuuut.. my body had its own agenda. It was good to get into the habit of tracking, just so I could see patterns. I also had years of vulvodynia* (which is now cured - yay!), and I was tracking intimacy as well to help the specialist devise a treatment.

So I've just got into the habit of tracking pretty much everything. And because we're still learning what my body wants to do off the pill, it's all fun and games. A couple of times have coincided with potential ovulation, so we'll see what we will see...

* (And on the vulvodynia issue: when we told the specialist we were trying, she didn't think I'd have any issues or further recurrences, which is really promising).

I've never tracked my cycle and I'm definitely not trying to make a baby, so this advice is all secondhand.

My friend who recently got pregnant said it worked when she & her husband stopped trying. They were tracking and trying for over a year and finally just gave up. About a month later, she was pregnant. So, maybe just go for it and don't worry about your cycle?

Oh we are. That's one of the really awesome things coming off BC has done for me: sex drive is back to where it was before the pill messed me up.

Right now, I'm about 8 days past ovulation, and my period is due on Monday. I don't feel quite myself (I've had sore boobs - pretty normal in the week leading up to period, but even more sensitive, a strange fluttery/nauseous/nervous feeling like queasy butterflies that comes and goes in waves - but this week has been really really really horrifically stressful and emotional, been all stuffed up and had nosebleeds - hello work air-con, a bit spacey, and so on), but everything can be explained as something totally normal. It's really really hard to restrain myself from researching common super-early symptoms!

Because we are taking it easy and seeing what happens, I both do (because I want to know) and don't (because I don't want to obsess) want to pick up a test and see!

I found a great site that helped when conceiving my son was Fertility Friend. I was able to chart my BBT, cervix, and other signs. Also, OPKs (ovulation predictor kits) helped to tell me when I would be ovulating. It is easier said than done but relax. Try not to really try.

ETA: You can join Fertility Friend through this link: www.fertilityfriend.com . . .

Thanks for the tip. I'm using PinkPad on my phone to chart everything from weight to ovulation to all the little symptoms that may or may not be something relevant. (I found having it on my phone means if I'm out and about and suddenly remember/feel something, then I can add it then and there)

And a quick update: I've got a couple of tests and will be taking one tonight (N wants to be around when I take it). I've had a "feeling" since just before I missed my period, but am trying to talk myself out of it in case I'm wrong and it's stress or something that's made things go haywire.

Thanks again to everyone who gave tips, suggestions and the like.

I just want to give a quick update on yesterday's update: two pink lines!! According to my tracker, I'm five weeks one day, and due in October (but will see my doc next week for confirmation).~squee!~

I'm stunned it happened so quickly. Fingers crossed the next few months go smoothly...

Woo hoo! fingers crossed!

Congrats

Yayayay! It's amazing how excited I get over stranger's weddings and peed on sticks. Congrats!

UberGoober wrote:

Yayayay! It's amazing how excited I get over stranger's weddings and peed on sticks. Congrats!

Me too! (My collegues must be wondering why I have this huge smile on my face)

Congratulations!!!