For the past 3 years, I babysit a family of 5 children ( all under 10) for about 8 hours a day, twice a week. After my shift is over, I am so physically and mentally drained. I am not sure what I am doing wrong, because women have children all the time and they still have the energy.
They are also homeschooled, so I am trying to help with school work, while I am holding a baby. I just feel like I don't have enough hands to cook, clean, watch the baby, help with schoolwork and keep the rest of the kids entertained.

Parents, any advice on how not to be so drained at the end of the day? They all take naps at different times, so I never have time to sit down for myself.

Welcome to the world of having multiple kids, you do get used to it after the first five years or so

Yup, you just do what you gotta do. It's different when they are your own kids, you have more of an internal drive to take care of them, it's instinctual and hormonal too, especially with babies.

^ Yup, it's different when it's your kids. You tend to have less of a care factor with keeping them constantly entertained and the house brilliantly clean. Unless you have quintuplets, you also have a bit of a chance to ease into it, rather than being thrown in at the deep end.

Do you wonder why the mother has you over for two days a week - its probably a sanity break!

*Shudder*...five kidlets...I struggle with two! I think you're awesome for being able to cope, quite personally, YYD!

Cheers
Di

It's totally normal to feel burned out. I have 3 and they exhaust me!
The only break I get is work. Thank goodness for my studio!

I'm one of five. Being one of five is as much a burn out as watching us is!

Unless it's like, five kids under five, they should be able to do some stuff for themselves. It shouldn't be constant, constant, constant.

You also need to invest in some simple and easy recipes, if cooking is taking that long. I know alot of people would advocate cooking a full on meal, but really? All of those kids would be happy with some PB&J and a juice box. Keep 'em alive, that's pretty much it.

YumYumDoughnut wrote:

For the past 3 years, I babysit a family of 5 children ( all under 10) for about 8 hours a day, twice a week. After my shift is over, I am so physically and mentally drained. I am not sure what I am doing wrong, because women have children all the time and they still have the energy.
They are also homeschooled, so I am trying to help with school work, while I am holding a baby. I just feel like I don't have enough hands to cook, clean, watch the baby, help with schoolwork and keep the rest of the kids entertained.

Parents, any advice on how not to be so drained at the end of the day? They all take naps at different times, so I never have time to sit down for myself.

If you think that mom's of kids are not exhausted, you are not correct. Having two kids, close in age, was tough on me!

Just normal stuff. Get exercise, eat properly (cut back or eliminate all sugar and corn syrup, that will drag you down) and get a good night's sleep. That's all that you can do.

Also, plan out your time with them. Make sure that they have quiet time, either naps or time reading or playing in their room.

Enlist their help. Make cleaning and cooking a game and get them involved. Stuff gets done and they get entertained at the same time. Win!

^That reminded me of something...

In James' preschool, there was always a rule that the parents couldn't clean up. You were to direct and supervise, but not to actually clean up by yourself, the kids had to do it. You should employ a similar strategy. Even the dimmest bulbs can understand "Can you take those blocks and put them over there next to the books?"

Um yes...there are FIVE CHILDREN. Haha.

I agree, you need to have a little more faith in them. You say they're all under ten, so there should be one that's about 9 and one that's 7 or 8, right? Teach them to make sandwiches. They're fully capable, and if they can make lunch (sandwich, a handful of pretzels and some grapes or something), that's time saved. Any kid who can walk and understand basic instructions can help clean.

Also, since you're not just someone who babysits on Friday nights for fun, get over the idea that you have to entertain them at all moments. I fall into that a lot, since my nanny kid is an only child. Really though, if you set them up at the kitchen table with some coloring books, you're not a bad babysitter if you spend that time cleaning or sitting down with a drink instead of coloring with them.

I feel burned out some days and i only have 1... I can't imagine having 5 to deal with and essentially getting no break from them

I won't get into my views on homeschooling...

They are 14 months, 3 years, 4 years, 6 years, and 9 years.

They are pretty good at cleaning up after their own messes, but it is cleaning up after lunch that is the problem. I would get done with all the dishes then I look and there is a pile on the table that they used. I keep telling them " Use the same cup and plate" but that never works. The mom also has me doing laundry sometimes and do you know how hard it is to fold laundry with 2 toddlers screaming?

I guess this is turning into a small vent, but these kids freaking exhaust me out. I will try the peanut butter/jelly but I will need to ask the mom about that. She is into "warm cooked foods" so I usually have rice with a vegetable/meat dish on the side. I did see some frozen corndogs in the freezer...I guess if I warm them up, they would count as warm?

I really wish the older 2 would go to school, so I can actually just take care of the younger ones. It is super hard trying to homeschool the children, while taking care of the 14 month and 3 year old. I am essentially their "teacher" for 2 days out of the week, and I feel like I am not doing a very good job with them.

This is freaking why I never ever want to have kids in the future. I can't imagine doing this 24/7 and actually making it out alive in the other side.

Is there any special reason why the kids are homeschooled. I don't really think its right that you have to play teacher as well as cook, cleaner snd nanny.

I hope you are at least getting paid accordingly

Mom would get more of a break if the kids were in school. Schools exist for a reason.

This is freaking why I never ever want to have kids in the future. I can't imagine doing this 24/7 and actually making it out alive in the other side.
PMRate

Dude, there's a reason that you don't hear everyone say "I'm one of five!" When people hear I came from a big family, they assume that I only want to have one because I came from such a big family. That's not it - it just takes a special breed of woman to raise five kids, and I'm self-aware enough to know that I'm not among their ranks.

Mom would get more of a break if the kids were in school. Schools exist for a reason.

Funny, all this time I thought it was so kids could learn. Turns out, it's because the state thinks enough of me to babysit my kid. Good to know.

Or, you know...not?

I might have got the wrong end of the stick here because I'm assuming the mom is not in the house while you're babysitting, so if she is then this might not apply, but I suppose I'll post it anyway...


If the mom wants to commit to homeschooling then surely she should either be doing it herself or paying someone to specifically teach? It's incredibly unfair of her to expect you to babysit AND homeschool at the same time. If it was just babysitting the 5 then that would surely be easier than juggling babysitting AND chores AND teaching. Or if she had a teacher there and you were looking after the babies and chores while the older kids were with their teacher. Easy for her though as she only has to pay you a babysitter's wage when you're doing two jobs. I'm not trying to be condescending but I don't think you're trained as a teacher (academically anyway), right? In which case she's being unfair to you AND her children by expecting you to take charge of their education for two fifths of the available time.

^^^Yes, she feels that public schools aren't good for her children. She is pretty religious, so she wants them to stay homeschooled until high school. They are pretty much excelling in all aspects academically, so if they were in a classroom full of other children in a public school, she feels that they won't get the strong enough education to go to a great college. She went to an Ivy League and he went to Berkeley. One has a masters and another has their Ph.d
They were considering sending them to a private school, and they are currently looking into it. They are also considering having another child, so one child going to school will be replaced with a baby.

They do go to other activities to make up for the lack of social interaction with kids. They go to gymnastics, ballet, swimming, special math classes, horseback riding, choir, and cooking class each week. I usually cart them around to ballet+gymnastics each week, but they do the rest with their mom carting them.

The mom tries to get done with all the "heavy" subjects before I come over. I usually end up teaching stuff that I feel comfortable with teaching. I actually worked as a teachers aid for elementary children before, so I have some experience in teaching basic work from 1-5th grade. They have "teachers" on the computer/tv screen and a phone number they can call for some help. Although part of me feels that maybe there should be an actual teacher there everyday with them or maybe a housekeeper.

I know that I am doing a good job with the actual teaching, but I just don't feel like there is enough of me to go around. I can teach 1 child great, but when that gets spread out over 3 children that is pretty hard. The mom gets done with English, History and Religion ( hard subjects for me) and I teach the science and math. Do you think having the kids in the same room would help? They currently stay in different rooms and come to me if they need help on the school work. Maybe having them in one room, with them raising their hand when they need help, would make it easier for me.

What is their schedule like? Like when you don't babysit? For instance do you follow the same schedule their mom does? Are they doing specific subject when you're there or is it whatever? You might make more structure.

Let's say you get there and are officially in charge at 9am. For the sake of argument, I'm going to assume the kids are already dressed and fed their breakfast.

9am: 9yr old works with 6 year old on reading.
3yr and 4 yr old color work sheets - shapes, numbers, letters, animals, whatever.
Infant get put in bouncy seat and tended to as necessary.
You supervise.

9:30: 9 year old begins their creative writing assignment (journaling)
6 yr old begins their creative writing assignment (journaling)
3 yr and 4 yr old begin their creative writing assignment with your help (for instance they tell you a story and you help them write it out)
Infant either plays in play pen or stays in bouncy chair if happy

10:00: outside time for 15 minutes

10:15: everyone comes in and washes hands (delegate the 9 yr old in charge of supervising) while you set out snack - juice box and fruit and crackers with peanut butter on a paper towel

10:30: 9 yr old works on math with your assistance
6 year old helps 3 and 4 yr old with letters/picture books (what letter is this?)
Infant sits with you?

11:00: 9 yr old works on math worksheets alone
6 yr old works on math with you
3 + 4 yr olds have free time to play quietly
Infant play time

11:30: chore time
9 yr old gathers laundry and sorts
6 yr old helps clean up play area with the 3+4 yr old
Infant in bouncy chair
Begin laundry and keep an eye on clean up

12:00: lunch prep - give each child a task. If you're slicing vegetables, let them help get the bowls and pots and pans out and put them in containers - after they're done, they set the table and then can go outside until food is ready

12:30: come inside and wash hands (9yr old supervises)
Sit down and eat.

1:00: chore time
9 yr old takes load from washer and puts it in the dryer, puts new load in washer - notifies you to observe adding measured amounts of washing soap and you watch them turn it on
6 yr old takes dishes from table and put them on the counter (everything should be plastic anyway)
3+4 yr old get wipes and they wipe down the table (where they can reach sitting in a chair) and wipe down chairs and bathroom (sink, counter, toilet seat)
Infant gets put down for nap
You supervise the clean-up

1:15: Put on movie and the older three have quiet time/nap

3:00: Social studies
Group - get a map and talk about and read about the places
Infant with you

3:30: Outside play

3:45: wash hands and snack time - water, carrot sticks and fruit gummies

4:00: 9 yr old writes 2 paragraphs about social studies
6 yr old writes 4 sentences about social studies
3+4 yr old draw picture about social studies
Infant with you

4:30: quiet inside play - maybe a board game like Sorry or connect four?

5:00: mom comes home

Make a schedule and each time you're there, stick to that schedule so they know what to expect. That might help a lot. Just an idea anyway. I was home schooled, so that's a loose outline of what I did. I was older so there wasn't playing, but I did set aside time for chores and tv.

*edit: I just saw that you posted in the time I had written this. The idea is there, even if the specifics aren't. I'd definitely have them in one room and I think giving the older kids responsibility to help "teach" the littles is a good thing. It is a good way to review the basics with them by their having to help their siblings, but it also gives you a chance to focus on one kid on a subject.

I'm not saying school is a babysitter or anything like that... but schools exist to educate children do they not? I think that there are certain things that can't be learned at home that are taught at school (maybe certain experiences). I think that all children need a break from their parents and vice versa, and this is one of the perks of sending kids to school.

Homeschooling isn't as big where I'm from as it seems to be in the US. Here I've maybe at most heard of 2 families homeschooling... one lady put her kids in school but than decided she missed them so she pulled them out of school and started homeschooling.

I don't get what is so important about having a religiously based education... you can always teach religion after school or on weekends... one does not need to be immersed in it all the time.

^Except that's not the point of this thread.

Yes, YYD, it's entirely normal to get burned out after babysitting and attempting to teach five kids all day. It's FIVE kids under 10, for 8 hours straight. But I'm wondering: are you supposed to be helping with schoolwork, or actually teaching them? Because those are two entirely different things.

^ that is what I'm wondering too... I think what you are doing goes above and beyond babysitting... Mom should be handling all the schoolwork, her choice to educate them in that manner, she shouldn't be expecting you to do it, OR should be watching the non school age kids while you do.

^ Well, they have "teachers" who teach them on the computer software and TV, but the mother and I teach the real life stuff when either of us are around. ( The video portion is a quick 20 minute explanation, and the workbook guide for the mother is maybe 30 minutes of the lesson) For example, the teacher on the computer may explain what multiplication is and how to do it. Then when they get to the actual workbooks, I explain how to do the problems, correct them and explain the whole multiplication thing again. So they get their initial teaching from the software, but children need reinforcement from me. The explained the history and theory of subtracting, but I actually had to sit with the 3 year old and explain it with "taking away the marbles"

You know how teachers walk around the classroom helping with any classwork problems. I kind of do that.
On the video they may explain what sounds the letters make, but the mother is the one sitting with them for 45 minutes while they read a book out loud. Things like that.

Well the reason I am going up and beyond babysitting, is because I am not getting paid a babysitters salary. I have gotten offers to just babysit for other families, but they would pay me about $15 less then what this family is offering me. The pay is decent, so I don't mind going up and beyond. I just need to figure out how to manage myself better.

Watching kids takes a lot of specialized effort... It's like using a muscle- if you only EVER used that muscle two times a week for 8 hours straight it'd take a heck of a long time for it to not be extremely sore afterward.

I agree that you need to get the two older kids involved... They'll probably jump at the chance to help out and feel like they're lending a hand. Make sure you give them a verbal reward ("Wow, you did that so fast! Thank you for your awesome help!") and they'll be biting at the bit to help you even more.

The reality is that you'll probably never fully adjust to watching them unless you end up doing it somewhat close to full time. It's a HUGE adjustment to go from no kids to 5 for an extended period of time regardless of what sort of experience with kids you have. I had the same problem after watching only 3 kids a couple times a week for 8 hour stretches- it's just not something you're used to on a mental and physical level and it's gonna be tiring.

I had 5 kids under 6 and never had a nany/babysitter. But mine went to school!! (My youngest 3 were under 2 1/2).
My own personal opinion is this mother is taking the p out of you. If she wants 5 kids and wants to homeschool them then let her do it herself instead on relying on you. Michelle Dugger homeschools hers without babysitters!
that might sound harsh, but if you have kids then you should look after them. (Except of course if you work!) I was a children's nanny before I had kids and looking back now I realise that the very rich lady was using me to watch her kids so she could either shop or do nothing!

Queenie xx

^ No Michelle Duggars older kids homeschool the younger ones...

Michelle's kids essentially raise each other.

^Ok, so that probably wasn't the best example, but I don't know anyone who homeschools!!

Queenie xx