Alright, so my Uncle asked me if I would play the piano at his wedding this summer. I of course said yes because I feel pretty close to my Uncle and he's always been supportive of my music This wedding is a big deal and I really feel like I should be there regardless of whether I was in the wedding or not. So here's the problem...I live out of state and money is extremely tight...like I can't even put extra money into savings lately, living paycheck to paycheck, it's rare I have money left over and when I do I put in in savings but it usually doesn't stay there long due to bills and car problems :/

I honestly don't know that I can afford to make it out there and I already feel obligated to be there! Oh, and also he's had this keyboard piano that he decided to give to me for Christmas...I wasn't able to get it home with me on the plane and haven't been able to afford to have it shipped out to me yet, and therefore have no way to even practice right now? Ugh I've got myself into a mess! Suggestions, and opinions would be great!

I would explain the situation to your uncle and see maybe if he would be able to help with your traveling expenses? You could tell him exactly what you wrote on here.

Dear Uncle

I really would love to be a part of your wedding but I am unable to pay for travel expenses and I'm living paycheck to paycheck. My financial situation currently is not so great and by spending money on travel arrangements it will end up hurting me or leave me without money to pay my bills. I'm not sure what to do.

Love your niece

Maybe he could lend you the money to travel there or another family member could but if that isn't an option then you may not be able to attend.

Good Luck!

^ That is what I was thinking too. Perhaps he could help out a little?


If that is still not possible, another option would be to record you playing the piano, put it on a cd (Or go through email) and send it to him.


It might not be as intamite as actually being there, but at least a part of you would still be involved, and he would still get a piece of your talent.


Not sure if that helps, but good luck!

I agree that you need to just talk to your Uncle, but I wouldn't advise wording it the way ballerinatwirler suggested (sorry) it just sounds dramatized. You really don't want to say something to the effect that if you go to his wedding it will hurt you! Just give him the facts: you are honored that he asked you, you would love to be there, but you don't have the means to travel to the wedding. You never know what his response might be.

If it were me I would tell him that you can wait it out and see if you could make it feasible. Although I am sure you are an important part of the family, even if you have to cancel in a relatively short time frame, the music would be easy to have a back up plan for, and hopefully your Uncle will understand and could help facilitate that.

Haha I guess it does some dramatic but it's honest.

I know this may not be what you want to hear, but since the wedding isn't until this summer, I'd find a way to make it happen.

First, check the "free" column in the newspaper. Here, someone is always looking to give away a keyboard or a piano to a good home. Check out community bulletin boards too.

Second, see if there is a small church or American Legion or VFW hall where there is a piano you might use for an hour or so at a time like when the building is being cleaned. If you explain your situation to the caretakers or pastors or whatever powers that be you might be pleasantly surprised. Give it a try...you have nothing to lose.

Start stalking airfare. Sometimes there is a short window of opportunity to book a flight at a bargain price. Perhaps other family members might offer to help you out with this if you know exactly how much money you're talking about. Sometimes an airport that is a bit out of the way is much cheaper.

I know you feel that you can't afford this, but you say you feel close to your uncle so I think you might regret missing this occasion. Try thinking creatively about solutions and you might be able to make it work.

I hope so...

Keep On Dancing*

^If it's going to involve flying, you need to be planning sooner, rather than later, yeah? If she's nervous about paying for it now, advising her to wait isn't going to help, it's just going to be more expensive then!

Which one of your parents side is he on? Can they help you out? My mom is always willing to help me out if I can't quite cover something. A few years ago, I made arrangements to go to a dance competition, thinking I'd have a paycheck to travel on. Turns out, I'd miscalculated the pay periods, and was BUSTED. And other people were counting on me to go. So I was like "Uh, mom?" And she bailed me out. So your 'rents might help you out...

Try ebay lots of really seriously cheap instruments on there or gumtree sometimes give away instruments for free. Could you ask a music shop to loan one for the wedding and bring it back?

if you play piano could you do a few gigs to raise money? I know here there are open mic nights where you get paid not much but it might help to fund the flight. I have seen quite a few instruments on gumtree that people just have got fed up with try there. Ask your neighbours someone might have a keyboard in the loft. Put an ad up in work, in a music shop local post office someone may respond.

If you got a keyboard could you give lessons? Might be a good way to make some money.

If money is this tight, would it be possible for you to get a second job? I've done that at times in my life when I needed extra income. If that is not feasible, how about asking your parents or grandparents to help? As your uncle's sibling and parents they might be motivated to help make it possible for you to be there.

As for practicing, it's possible that a family member would be willing to pay the shipping to get the keyboard to you. If not, Christine's suggestion about checking with area churches is excellent. In addition, if you are in the US I would check Freecycle in your community. In my area people are always giving away really good stuff like pianos and furniture that they cannot take with them when they move. I'd also check Craigslist as I have seen pianos and keyboards listed there for almost nothing. I hope it works out for you.

I think the time to start begging family for empathy is a few months from now. If you do that before even TRYING to solve it yourself...it doesn't sit well with me. There are tons of way to reduce the cost of a trip like taking the bus or train instead of flying. You can find pianos in other places: look for local music stores or music schools (even universities with pianos) and talk to the person in charge to see if you can practice every once in a while on them.

I think this might be a wake up all for your finances: not being able to keep anything in savings is not a great place to be, so while you're looking into how to finance and prepare for the trip, also look into ways to reduce your spending day-to-day so that you can really have some savings.

Once I'm able to get the money I can get that keyboard shipped out to me so that will help a little bit. As far as asking anyone for help...I don't think that's an option :/ My parents just payed about 600 dollars to fly me out last month for Christmas and my Grandma helped pay for that too so I don't feel like I can ask for help on another ticket. And I would be willing to get a second job but sadly thats not an option right now because of the 40 hour school schedule i'm about to start and my other job. I know if I had money in savings I could keep my eye out on flights and grab a ticket when it shows up but so far I haven't been able to set any aside. Hmmm not sure lol I'm going to do anything I can and work on saving but not for sure how that will go down.

Like right now I can't even send out the 50 dollars to ship the piano....and have pretty much 0 money till my next check comes which will be a while!! :/

What does your budget look like right now? How much do you make? What are your expenses? Perhaps we can help you find ways to reduce some of those expenses so you can save money for the flight.