My boyfriend has accumulated a lot of kitchenware+appliances from the time he was married and also when he lived with another woman. He barely uses any of the stuff, and I wanted to bring all the stuff to my apartment. ( Blender, crystal bowls, pretty wine glasses, art, towels etc). These items are basically sitting in his house and collecting dust. Of course, I wouldn't take everything but just the stuff that I have my eyes on. There is a super amazing Espresso machine and other stuff that I wouldn't be able to afford on my own.

They left them with him and they didn't want to take the stuff, so I wouldn't be stealing from any of his ex's. I have never been in this position before, and I was wondering if there was some sort of etiquette rule that I am missing out on?

I would of course ask him for permission to take the stuff, but I wanted to make sure I don't cross some weird adult boundary that I am not aware of, by asking for his ex's stuff. I already have my own stuff, but these are super nice items that are going to waste.

Provided that these women don't want these items back... (I find it odd they left behind expensive pieces of kitchenware) - its all yours

To me this falls under previous sharehousing rules - ie you inherit whatever is left behind for you. I have inherited so much stuff this way. Its not like this is clothes or jewellry.

I find it odd though, I have begun to accumulate expensive kitchenware but there is not many circumstances that I would leave it behind.

If it were highly personal belongings like bags, toiletries or those kinds of things then I'd personally not want to do it...but as the items are completely impersonal then providing your boyfriend OKs it then I don't see a problem. Before I opened the thread I thought it might have been a scenario similar to one I saw a few years ago - the ex-girlfriend of one of Tim's friends died, and he started giving her shoes and clothes away to female friends. Weeeird. I say take the stuff if you can! If he doesn't want any of it then you can always sell or donate the things you don't need, too.

My husband said he wouldn't want to see the items he got for wedding gifts etc and would hate it if I used stuff like that...but he got rid of anything that reminded him of that time.

I don't think it's a problem if your boyfriend doesn't mind. I personally would be weirded out using someone's wedding stuff, but that's me.

So glad this is not about clothing or other personal items!!! That would be skeevy!

Really, it all depends on the boyfriend. Some people have absolutely no connection to household things, even if they were gifts. To them, it's just stuff. Wouldn't hurt to ask! An easy way to run this by him might be to suggest you make some expresso at his place one day. If that goes well, then ask if you can just take it home.

kk~

Joke I recently heard along this line.

A man and his wife were having a discussion about what would they do if the other one died. The wife was taking the lead in this discussion to the annoyance of her husband.

So tell me dear, if I died would you get married again?

-Well yes, I guess I would if the right woman came along, it would get very lonely just being by myself.

And would you live with her in this house?

-I don't see why not, it's a very good house and it fits our needs, I would imagine it would work fine were I to remarry.

How about my bed - the one I share with you?

-Now dear, that bed is practically brand new, it was one of the most expensive ones available.

My golf club...you know how much I love those golf club, they're the best money can buy!

-Oh now, don't worry about your golf clubs....

She's left-handed.


Jon

Oh gosh, I would find it creepy using another persons clothes or something personal like that.

dancin_til_death the woman before me was basically crawling with money, and she was the type to buy new coats if she was out and about 10 minutes away from the house. ( Couldn't bother to drive back home. She would drop money on $1000 coats without batting an eyelash. My bf's sister told me this)She would buy new appliances each year and just throw away last seasons because they weren't in fashion anymore or whatever. The stuff she left behind was the things she didn't want because they broke up in the middle of the year etc. ( She currently lives in the Hamptons, so she wouldn't want any of her outdated stuff) Good for me, I don't care much about color schemes and trends

I just called my boyfriend and he said I could have the stuff. He isn't the type to have connection to items so he said it is a good thing I would be willing to use the stuff. I threw away all his ex's clothes and stuff when we started to date, but I couldn't throw away all the pretty cool appliances lol.

If these things are still in his house after all this time, they're his. He can do what he likes with them, including give them to you.