Forum: Advice / Support

just feeling very overwhelmed...
By live2danceemember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Thu Jan 19, 2012 10:28 PM

Blah. This could get long.

I just am feeling so not like me lately. Nothing happened and nothing changed, but I just don't feel like me. I am not the happy, cheerful me that I always am. I don't look forward to anything. I sometimes don't even want to leave my house. It is very odd.

Thing is, I think I am overwhelmed. So many people want and expect so many things from me. I took this semester off school to focus on some other things. I have 13 recital dances to come up with this year and some solos and duet trios. I teach 6 days a week. And I also assist the competition ballet classes at the studio. Well, on top of all that, people always ask me to sub. And I always say yes because I am afraid if I say no, the SO won't give me classes next year. Same goes for when SO asks me to work with her on ordering costumes and stuff. I am afraid it will be held against me. On top of that, SO is the ballet teacher and she told me that for next week she wants me to have the intro to one of the comp ballet pieces choreographed because she wants to see how I do with the competition kids. I also was asked to take some duets and trios tomorrow night and give them choreography.

Also, she asked me to clean her daughters house... longgggg story..... which I don't mind doing at all. I just can't find a time to tell her I am available. It just is so so much right now. I just need a day or even an hour to breathe. SO also asked me to pick up and drop off some master class teachers this weekend from and to the airport. Which, I of course said yes because I fear the repercussions. But truly, I hate driving. It scares me.

As if it couldn't get any more difficult, my mom was rushed to the hospital today with blocked intestines and is facing emergency surgery tomorrow. I am freaking out about that. And I just feel bad for her.

I dunno. This was just a rant I guess. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to always have to say yes, but like I said, I am afraid that if I say no I will be punished. I just want to be with my mom right now. Family comes first to me always. I am just 22 years old. I feel so completely overwhelmed and headed for a breakdown.

Thanks for reading this if you did. Feel free to leave advice.

4 Replies to just feeling very overwhelmed...

re: just feeling very overwhelmed...
By J1ll
On Fri Jan 20, 2012 10:27 AM
Stop yes-sing everything. It really is that easy and that difficult all at once.
Some of those things were smart to say yes to- choreographing comp teams intro in an effort to show you could handle a comp class is good experience for you.
Saying you can pick up/drop off at the airport when you are afraid to drive, not so great. Also if you can't find time to tell SO you'll clean her daughter's house indicates you don't have time to do the actual cleaning either.
Be frank with your SO. If you can't do something just say I'm sorry I'm afraid I'm not available. My current responsibilities are as much as I can handle currently.

Practice in front of the mirror if you need to but learn to say no if you mean no. Also instead of giving an immediate yes, say I need to think about it. Then you can work out whether it's something you want to do or not.
re: just feeling very overwhelmed...
By ChristinePremium member
On Fri Jan 20, 2012 10:41 AM
Learning to say, "No", is one of the hardest skills I've ever had to develop. However, it is necessary.

You have 13 dances to construct? That is more than enough responsibility in addition to the details of your daily life.

"I wish I could, but I really can't. I have so much to do right now." Repeat as necessary.

If you keep saying yes to the subs, the cleaning, and every other last minute thing that comes along, you are going to cheat your own work. If your 13 pieces aren't perfect, no one is going to say, "They were weak, but she cleaned Suzzy's house and subed for everyone when they asked." They are going to say, "Well, that was a disappointment." If you remind yourself that you are doing a disservice to yourself and your own students by spreading yourself too thin it might help you establish boundaries.

If your 13 dances are great, your SO will hire you back, even if you don't clean. Really.

Keep On Dancing*
re: just feeling very overwhelmed...
By Melpomene
On Fri Jan 20, 2012 08:30 PM
YUp. When necessary, there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying "No".

It might be hard at first, but at the end you will most likely feel better. You can do it!


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