I seriously feel like an old lady. This is the first time besides in high school that I've worked with people my own age. All my co-workers talk about is sex, drinking, partying, other people, and did I mention sex? Today for example I walked into work and watched two girls stumble in half drunk and sloppy. They literally called the manager who is always young and told him they would be late due to their wild night of partying and that was accepted as a valid excuse for being 30 minutes late. Then I listened to people discuss their sex lives and some people's casual sex life like one night stands and such. Then everyone discussed their crazy partying weekend. My co-workers that are my age are mostly lazy. They sit around and flirt their way out of any situation. They always tease and bash people.

I know this isn't a work thing because I was in a sorority and it was the same dynamic.

I'm so different from these people. I don't feel connected to anyone at work or school besides the serious student type. I don't like to drink to an excess, I rarely party, I don't discuss my sex life in graphic detail, and I hate drinking then working the next day.

I'm a homebody and a good night for me would be either hanging out with a friends or my boyfriend and going out to dinner and watching a movie. It's pretty sad that the only people I'm close to at work is the one's closer to my mom's age then my own. I'm also shy around new people and I have formed friendships with people that have similar values and interests but I never work with them.

End rant :/

Does anyone else feel this way? I'm not really looking of advice just I'm starting to feel bad about myself. Even my family jokes that when they were my age they were out all night partying and being crazy and that's just not me.

Yep. I'm a "non-traditional" college student. If I'd followed the normal schedule, I'd have graduated in May 2011, but instead I'm graduating in May 2013. I'm over the party scene, being that I'm almost 23 and have been at it since 18, and it's hard to feel people that are the same...it seems most people I meet are either party animals or total goody-two-shoes (which isn't my thing either).

I feel your pain.

*raises hand* That's me! I was just talking to my Dad about this on the phone the other night. I really am an old soul and I always have been. From a really young age, pre-school aged, people would ask my Mom if I was school-aged because of the way I spoke, acted, etc. Even today, I constantly feel much older than my peers. I relate much better to older people. There is a girl in one of classes right now who is 30 and when I asked her how old she was she made a big deal of the fact that I was still a "baby". I found it super odd because I saw myself to be no different than her.

I attribute a lot of my maturity to the murder of my Grandma when I was 9. I don't consider myself jaded because of it, but I do think it taught me a lot about life and what the important things really are. It made me value the ones I love and I have never taken being alive for granted because of it. Unfortunately, it often takes a terrible event like that for people to learn that lesson, or a lot of time and life experience.

Yep, definetly feel older than my years a lot of the time but I wouldn't change it. It's who I am and it's a result of the things I have experienced.

Kekoa wrote:

Yep. I'm a "non-traditional" college student. If I'd followed the normal schedule, I'd have graduated in May 2011, but instead I'm graduating in May 2013. I'm over the party scene, being that I'm almost 23 and have been at it since 18, and it's hard to feel people that are the same...it seems most people I meet are either party animals or total goody-two-shoes (which isn't my thing either).

I feel your pain.

I'm in that boat. If I had started college after high school I would of graduated by now but I'm looking at graduating in Fall 2013 at the earliest. I agree with either the party animals or good-two shoes thing too. When I was in the sorority even the good girls were hardcore party animals. My only friend I really connected with at school was saving herself for marriage, deeply religious, didn't drink, didn't swear, and was extremely judgemental.

I'm an old soul too I didn't even like hanging out with kids when I was a kid. I was always spending my time with the adults in the room.

Oh, do I ever know where you're coming from! For a while I felt like I was grossly abnormal, since I didn't care to spend all night in a club every weekend and didn't like to get messed up every time alcohol so much as gets near me. My perfect evening, like yours, consists of more one-on-one stuff with my hubby or a close friend (hubby is also a homebody, so it works out.) Optimally, it would be dinner and perhaps a movie or a long walk or, if the weather's bad, some cozy-up chat time at Starbucks. Aaaaaand then I'm home by 10 or 11-ish. My dad always encouraged me to party it up, but that was just never my style. I felt bad, but after a while I stopped apologizing for the way I am and just enjoyed myself.


So no, you're not alone.

Oh, word.

I am 23 and I am over all of that. Immensely over it. That probably explains why I have so few friends my own age. most of my friends are in their late 20's or early 30's. Its been like that for years now.

i get it. I get the culture. I guess I just got it out of my system a lot earlier. When I turned 20 a lot of heavy stuff was going on in my life and I just didn't connect with the partying and the sleeping around and the giggling over it the next day. I'd done it in my teens and even then it made me feel a bit crap.

Though it could just be peer culture. Where I used to work, people were very girly, catty and insensitive in the larger group, but if you got them on their own they were totally different.

Just find other 23 year old grandmas to be friends with. I promise you there are a lot of us out there - and we're not all sitting at home on a Friday night knitting socks and playing scrabble, but we're not falling into pools of our own vomit or forgetting the names of the strangers we slept with, either. Whatever floats your boat!

I'm the exact same way! It' good to know there are so many of 'us' on this site too. My husband is pretty much the same way, maybe not as extreme as me but neither of us do things people our age would typically be doing.

I wholeheartely agree with DeStijl: find other 23 y/o grandmas to befriend. It's hard, but they're out there. I thought it would be hard for me to find some new friends since I've moved, but it's actually really easy because everyone is on Facebook now (I joined a specific Marine Wives group for our area and they post about meet-ups and outings all the time). I met one new person the first day I was here and her and I spend a lot of time at each other's houses now since our husbands work ridiculous hours.

I know it can be annoying sometimes not exactly 'fitting in,' but there are more people like you and the rest of us!

This is EXACTLY why I didn't fit in in high school.

My high school was obsessed with who was wearing what, who drank how much at the party on Saturday night, and who slept with who after the party was over.

If I could name you the top five least interesting topics in the world to me, those three things would be on it. I've always preferred my clothes to be far more functional than anything else, so I don't much care about brands. I don't like the taste of alcohol generally, so me drinking is rare. And combine those first two together, and I definetly wasn't sleeping with anyone in high school, so what did I care about number three?

I suppose I don't have much advise, but I'm right there with ya. Lived it. Came out the more interesting for the wear - one of the girls I went to high school with added me on Myspace back in the day. All of her Myspace friends were either people we went to high school with, or people that had been on American Idol. Really?! LOL...

Be happy that no one is thinking of you, the way you think of these girls, and keep your head up. It'll pay off eventually.

`"To thine own self be true"`

You are not alone. The problem is that when people alter their mental capacities with alcohol and sleep deprivation they don't have the good sense or good manners to keep their war stories to themselves. The "honor among thieves" dynamic kicks in when bonding with each other. At 23, you are about to outgrow this group. Don't let them make you feel bad about yourself. You are doing things the smart way, the right way, and the way that leads to success and pride in you accomplishments.

When I was 23 I was already married and owned a home. I worked full time and I went to college at night and took good care of my dog and always made time for my husband. My 24 hour day was full. Years later, the "party folk" were still doing the same stupid things while I was blissfully raising my small children. There are lots of people in the world who do more than get drunk, sleep around, do a pathetic job at their job, and then talk about it as if it is the most interesting subject on earth. It isn't.

Just hang in there and keep on dancing. There are many quality people with genuine interests who will enjoy your friendship. You just haven't met them yet.

My very best wishes to you....It lonely at the top.

Keep On Dancing*

I've always liked a drink, but I've never "partied" really. I used to go to clubs once a week or so when I was in sixth form but I never wanted to do it that regularly, it was just what we did. Apart from my hen do I haven't been to a club in years, I just can't be arsed. I'd rather sit in a bar and be able to hear myself think! I never slept around ever either, I've been in relationships since I was 15/16 with no real break, I didn't have the opportunity to sleep around. I've always thought of myself as being old before my time, to be honest, in terms of the things I like doing. Like nature documentaries and reading historial fiction and stuff, that's the kind of stuff you get laughed at when you're 16. Ten years on I feel like people are starting to catch up to me! However while I feel 'old' I don't feel mature. I don't think I'm more mature than or above people my age. I am crap at being an adult!

I'm like this too. My idea of a good time is playing music or going for a hike with my friends. Or getting take-out and watching a movie with my friends. I have never been one for parties, excessive drinking, casual sex. It's just not me and for most of my life people commented on how 'serous' or 'mature' I was. When I was 14 someone asked me how old I was, and then said they had thought I was 26. I wanted to cry.

But now I am over it. I am an 'old soul' like others here and that is just me. I love hanging out and having good conversation with smart and creative people. That is a good time for me. It's just the way I am and the way I have always been.

You're not alone!

I always thought I was an old soul until I switch my major to engineering. I realized that there are a BUNCH of old souls around, but you just have to look for them.

Now i have a group where I can go to dinner, discuss politics, have just *one* drink, and make it home in time for my evening show.

The only time I became really drunk was in Iceland and also in San Francisco with Haili. I just hate feeling out of control and I have found that there are a lot of people who feel the same way. I still see some "older people" ( 35+) who are still party animals. I honestly don't think it is so much the age, but the type of personality that people have.

PS. I am currently watching a documentary and knitting my boyfriend a blanket! lol

^ Lol, I am watching a documentary, drinking some Chinese tea and working on a painting for my Sis. Keeping life wild.

^ Currently in the middle of knitting a cabled scarf for my Mom. Sooo cool!

^I like to relax on my days off by baking, cross-stitching and watching a good BBC drama like Downton Abbey or a mini-series like BBC Pride and Prejudice or Emma.

You're not alone. I actually started feeling very separated from my college friends when I turned 22 and many were all just turning 20. I've never been a huge partier, I like to keep my private like private, and generally I try to act with class, so me being involved in the middle of a huge drama is extremely rare.

Be who you are, there are lot of us out there!

Being mature doesn't make you a grandma. Being 23 and still acting like an idiot makes them immature. Honestly, 23 is way to old to be acting like that. Don't feel weird about not being like that, just pitty the people who feel the need to party all the time and discuss it publicly.

I'm 34 and still know some people who act like that. What do they have to show for it? A ton of ruined days due to hangovers, constant paranoia about what STD they might have gotten, or if they are pregnant, and no money, because they spend every dollar on partying. Most still apartment hop, boyfriend/girlfriend hop, and job hop because they can't finish college or hold down a job because of constant drama and always being hungover.

What do I have? I own my own business, I'm happily married, two great kids, own my own house and have pretty nice things. Had a baby at 23, having just graduated from college. Don't regret one missed party! I'm not envious of my "always having fun" party friends. They aren't fooling anyone. Just filling their empty lives with more parties. No thank you.

PS - had to edit because I didn't realize until after I posted that it was the 20 something board. I'm obviously not in my 20's so I understand if a mod wants to remove it!

Hmm, yup, like me for the most part. I'm really not one to party at all. I prefer hanging with a few good friends and usually just watching a movie or something. I dislike going to the bar. Like for one of my best friend's 19th birthdays she's going to a bar of course this weekend and I'm not a big fan so I'm bringing my boyfriend and boyfriend's sister so I have people to chat with...and possibly go watch a movie with later. lol

Honestly, I don't party, don't go to bars to drink (bf's in band so often at bars for his shows) and whenever I do drink I NEVER get drunk. I honestly do enjoy mixing up drinks and having fun at home while hanging out but that's it. I don't drink in excess. I've never slept around (been with my current boyfriend since I was 15, going to be 20 in April), I don't even like the idea of dating around. I don't want to be in a relationship unless it's going to be long term.

And honestly...most of my closest friends are the same way. Around the same age, but the same way as me. And at family gatherings and such I always hang out with the adults. Ever since I was a young teenager I would rather sit with the parents than the kids.

Another 23-year-old grandma! Never liked partying, never liked getting drunk, nightclubs make me feel all panicky, and it took my friends something like five years to actually understand and remember my explanations. (And it's possible that they've forgotten again, but I'm not around to find out for another few weeks!)

If it's not you, it's not you. People will try to make you feel like you should be out doing it because they have this idea that if you're not doing it, it must be because you're depriving yourself for some reason. They have fun doing it, so surely you must feel the same way. It's hard, but I've learnt not to let it get to me - there is no way I would get my friends to come to a metal gig, for example, every weekend... so why should I pay money to go out with them every weekend just because they're the majority? Once I realised that, I just put my foot down and kept saying no, but still made sure that I got together with them for things that we ALL enjoyed doing. I'll still go out for birthdays, but once I start feeling overwhelmed it's not fun for anyone, so I'll stay out for as long as I can handle it and then I'll leave without making a big fuss.

My friends these days are anything from 20 to 36. Some of the 21-year-olds are feeling way past the partying, and some of the 30-year-olds still like a night out on the town. But it does make me feel better to know that I can still enjoy tea and a sci-fi series or Sailor Moon with friends, regardless of how they like their nightlife!

I have always been the ONLY partier. I dropped out of high school so I could spent my time getting drunk/high, finding trouble, causing chaos, and so on.

The result? I wish I had known back then that there would ever be a 23-year-old Me who wished I would have looked into the future a little bit, and anticipated that maybe life is not always going to be a spinning room full of intoxicated people ... that I might, someday, want more.

I don't regret my partying days. I did have fun when I was a teenager, but I feel like, at this point, I've been there, done that. It's all the same drama bullsh!t. You can't do it forever.

My best friend is 20. She's going to be 21 in a few months. She's still a big partier. Our other friend, too, and while sometimes I feel a little discontected from them, when they just want to go out party-hopping and I don't, I try to remember that THEY ARE 20, and that at 20, I was doing the same thing. Don't get me wrong, I still like to party, but I'm at the point now where I like to party with people I know and have a GOOD time, have FUN, and not necessarily have a DRAMA FILLED time. There is a difference. It's not WRONG to party, but it's not WRONG to not party, sometimes, either. Like, I don't feel the need to go to a house party with a bunch of people I don't know and see how much chaos can ensue.

There is more than one way to be. However you are, is how you are, and how you should be. You'll ultimately feel better if you stop for a moment and consider what you really want, and make that choice based on how you feel, not what is expected of you. Some nights, I do chose to go to the club. Other times, I don't feel like it, I have homework to do, or I'm just feeling in the mood to stay home and chill, and that's what I chose to do, and I know its right for me.

I think 23 is the magic age where you start looking around and seeing the difference between being a teenager and being an adult, and deciding which side of that fense you want to fall on right now. Some people will never grow out of the relentless partying crap - and there is NOTHING good waiting for them down the road. They think they're celebrities or something, that life is just fine and dandy and things will all work out regardless of what they do, but that's not the case - they're going to end up with a low-paying job, no stability, no money, no type of future.

I live with three adults who never left the party scene. They're all unemployed, they all have significant health problems from their drug/alcohol consumption, and they all sit and reminice about parties they went to and fights they got into fourty years ago, because guess what? They have done NOTHING ever since then. Life passed them by.

My friends have started to die. At 18, I lost my first friend to a heroin overdose, and kids have been falling like dominos since then, because that's part of the party life - you put yourself in danger, whether it's danger of violence, overdose, accidents, whatever.
And other friends have simply left. They've gone to rehab, they're trying to get straight in another city/state/environment, and they're not here anymore. Those that are still here, partying like it doesn't matter, are being left behind.

It's not a quality life. You're not missing out, believe me. Be grateful that you're mature enough to stay away from this crap, instead of having to pull yourself out of it, having already been stuck.

peace out
sh'naynay

I'm 23 and an old soul, but most certainly NOT a grandma. I guess massive partiers may call me one, but I disagree. I have plenty of fun! Instead of playing beer pong in someone's garage while their parents are away, we have drinks with dinner at nice restaurants in our city. We do potlucks at each others' houses, go to sporting events, cultural events, etc. Just because we aren't having a raging house party, or snorting Ketamine in a club doesn't mean we're old and run down. Embrace it! There is nothing exciting about the partying club life post-20. Having stable income, relationships, and life as a whole is far more important and beneficial, IMO.

I'm 24, and can relate to this feeling. Even when I was 18, my roommates jokingly called me grandma. (and they weren't exactly the party type themselves)

I sometimes wish I was more of a partier...maybe I would find it easier to connect to people, but as another poster said, there are all sorts of people out there (also evidenced by this thread!).

Thanks everyone for your stories. It's nice to know I'm not alone. My parents are always asking me why I don't go out to the bars or clubs. My boyfriend loves going to the bar with his friends or parties on campus. My two best friends are exactly the same when it comes to this issue so I'm not completely alone ,it just sucks trying to make new friends and once they know you don't want to go clubbing they lose interest.

I was pretty wild from 23-25. I drank heavily, hung out with the wrong people, slept around, etc. About the only thing I didn't do was try drugs (for which I am eternally grateful). I got a wake up call and cleaned up my act about 18 months ago. Like Shanaynay said, I don't necessarily regret my wild child days. I learned the value that comes with a much more stable existance.

Now I'd say I'm pretty low key. I spend most of my free time either at my silks classes or working on getting my own business up and running. I'll go out with friends maybe once a month or someone will host something. Most of my friends are married and I'm not, so that makes getting together a bit more difficult. The worst thing we've done in recent memory was take fully clothed suggestive pictures at the New Year's Eve party. Not exactly candidates for Girls Gone Wild, eh?

My life seems to be progressing backwards.

It high school I would NEVER party. I did not even have my first drink until 6 months before my 18th birthday (legal age here is 18) and even then it was a single cooler. I could care less about clothing brands, I spent no time on hair or make up, I did not date. My idea of a good night was beating a game on my PS2. This continued until recently. Now I love going out to the bar and drinking and dancing and going to shows and just having a fun time. I still work hard and will not stay out late if I work early the next day, but I am definitely starting to get into the "party" stage now at 21.

Oh you are not alone my friend!

A lot of my friends my age still spend a great deal of time partying and going out every night but I am far too tired for that!
When I get home at night all I want to do is hang out on the couch and catch up with my DVR. I would much rather go out to dinner or go off during the day with friends then be up all night.

I think everyone will catch up eventually whether it's when they have kids or get married or whatever. We just might be the early bloomers of adulthood? I really don't know, maybe we're the weird ones? But I guess that's okay haha