I'm finally getting around to planning my wedding for this summer, and drawing up a budget. Now that I've gotten over the sticker shock, I realize I have no idea whom I'm supposed to tip, or how much. One of my coworkers mentioned tipping the photographer, so that's on my list. Who else gets a tip? And how much am I supposed to give? 10%? 15? 20? It seems like the costs for everything are so high, I couldn't possibly pay more even though I'd want to for good service! If anyone can help me figure out what the tipping protocols are, I'll start working it into our budget.

I thought tipping was only for people who didn't get a proper hourly wage, like waiters and waitresses at restaurants. Since when do you tip a photographer? Can someone explain tipping to me?

Erin.
::righteous babe::

^I thought the same, so when my coworker mentioned that her friend tipped the photographer for her wedding, I was thoroughly confused. I have a hard time swallowing the prospect of tipping someone who's earning over $300/ hour in the first place! I have no idea whether my coworker's friend did something out of the ordinary, or if there's a whole tipping protocol for wedding contractors. So I figured I'd ask to make sure I get it right. For clarity, I'm in the US.

I have not been married, but I know that for both of my brothers weddings my parents tipped the band. Both of my brothers had the same live band, they don't actually do weddings they usually do bars and outdoor shows, but since my brothers are friends with them they agreed to do the wedding. I think that is why my parents tipped them, they did something they didn't have to do, even though they were expensive to get in the first place.

Anyhow, I know my SIL used this website for a lot of her planning wedding.theknot.com . . .
I know they didn't do a percentage really, my SIL's parents had cards with some cash in it to hand out at the end of the reception.

Just thought I would add, the link I provided is a direct link to the tip sheet, and the knot says that tipping is optional some cases, but some venues might require/expect gratuity or even add it to your bill. It specifically states that a tip to the photographer is NOT necessary. I don't think you would be wrong to just send some nice thank you notes if you can't find gratuity into your budget (except for hair and makeup if you are getting that done at a salon, tip them like normal).

I think the rule of thumb is that if the person owns the business, or if they are self-employed, they don't get tipped. Otherwise they usually do. But I don't think we ended up tipping anyone other than the bartender and servers, and their gratuities were included in our contract, so we didn't have to do anything extra. We did not tip the photographers, DJ, or officiant.

Our limo driver asked for her tip before the guys even got into the car... this before she got lost driving to the church, didn't come to the door to let us know that she was here, dressed inappropriately, didn't help anyone in and out of the limo, let my mom fall getting out of the limo, took her daughter in the limo with us on the way from the church to the reception (we were told that someone could sit in the front), got lost driving to the reception because her GPS didn't work in that area. Both the church and the reception were at major intersections. She would not have gotten a tip if I had my way.

I didn't tip anyone other than the hairdresser.

I think in tipping photographers and the such it's more of the original meaning of TIPing "To Insure Proficiency" given before the service is rendered to be sure they do an extra good job. It gets confusing because at some point we made it in America that some people don't have to make minimum wage as long as they get tips and therefor tips became mandatory, not a gift. I think in the wedding case, the tip would be a gift. Thats how it should have worked in Llama's case with the limo driver, though she didn't seem proficient at the job at all!

I am not sure about tipping wedding contractors. My friend tipped their photographers, band, cater people, drivers, hair/makeup, DJ's etc.

As for tipping, I usually tip people before a service is performed.

I can assure you that in the nearly 500 social event that I photographed as a professional (mostly weddings and Bar/Bat Mitzvahs) I never once received a tip, nor did I expect one, nor was any given to my assistants.

I, of course, owned the business, but I wouldn't expect a tip as a professional anymore than I would tip my medical caregivers.

I was a professional. I charged prices commensurate to my skill level. My fees were both contractual and substantial. The only people I personally give tips to are wait staff at restaurants (but not to an owner) and the lady who has done my haircuts for that last decade. I'd probably also tip a cab driver, but I haven't been in a taxi is seven years.

Jon

As a wedding photographer, I've only been tipped once in 10 years of weddings. At that one, we had worked with a bride on a tight budget and gave her a really good price and really did a lot with the time we gave her. The bride's father gave the two of us each a hundred dollars.
At my wedding, we tipped the caterer, who handed it out to the waitstaff. That was about it